Ron-Pool: Hey, this isn't . (though I am on there now *wink*) Ah well. I'm back home on FF everyone! Ol' Captain Blues decided to fix up this story and blah-blah-blah. Let's get into it!
Summary: Ok, Long story short. I, Ron Stoppable, was hit with a mind-altering machine that made me insane to the membrane, like the glorious leader of DP-Ism, The Merc with a Mouth, Deadpool. I doubt the world is ready for this twisted me but who cares?! Time for balls off the walls, insanity, sick one-liners, constant harassment, and awesome adventures. This. Is. *points at the title above*
Pairings: Ron Stoppable and Harem?! Good Lord, I'm in trouble!
Genre: Humor, Romance and Action! The Triforce!
Rating: Rated Triple M for Mega Manly Mature!
Disclaimer: Eh...Don't own. Well I kinda...No...Don't own.
UnStoppable with a Mouth: The Epitome of Awesome Re-Pooled!
Chapter One: Mission from HFIL
[Location: Antarctica
POV: Ron Stoppable]
"God, it's freezing up here," Ron stuttered out, his entire body shivering along the icy glacier he and Kim were currently climbing up. It had been five hours since their ride had dropped them off in Antarctica, and Ron was freezing.
This is especially bad due to his pants falling off during the trek, leaving him in his Ferret-man boxers, much to Kim's amusement.
'Why did I choose to wear these today?' Ron thought to himself in disdain.
Luckily, Ron had bought spare pants, so he wasn't entirely out of luck, but it was those leather pants he had when he had that fabulous hairdo of his, and like Ron has pointed out many times, Leather doesn't breathe.
"Don't worry, Ron," Kim told him as she looked down, her green eyes sparkling lightly in amusement, "We're almost there. Why Drakken decided to bring his base up here, I will never understand…." Kim muttered the final part to herself as she turned away from the blond teen.
Rufus, the bright naked mole right he was, had placed himself in Ron's wool hat just in case Ron's pants had fallen off and said, "Nnk. Cold," while wrapping his little around his body.
Seeing this, Ron took his friend out of his hat and placed him in a large warm pocket in his oversized dark blue winter coat that his mom always made him take just in case.
"Good thing I listened," Ron noted with a smile as he reached the top of the glacier, taking Kim's hand and letting her help him up to his feet.
"Thanks, KP," Ron said when he got up to his feet and immediately took off his book bag and slipped on those leather pants, much to his annoyance, but that annoyance changed into amazement when he saw Drakken's latest evil lair.
It was a pale blue fortress with tons of armed henchmen storming the place, silver outlines of the letter "D" on every side of the building, spikes at the top of the tower, and a green and blue pair flags soaring in the cold arctic wind.
It didn't look very safe to Ron's eyes, but he knew that Kim saw it more as a challenge to destroy than anything else. With authority in her voice, Kim exclaimed, "Come on, Ron, let's foil Drakken's plans!"
Ron saw Kim's eyes shine with determination before she charged forward, leaving Ron behind for a few seconds to stare at the fortress before charging in after her.
[Location: Secret Antarctica Fortress
POV: Dr. Drakken]
"Hey Boss, Princess, and her frog have arrived. They found her scaling the left side of the mountain this place is built on."
Drakken turned around to face the grinning Shego with a hint of glee in his eyes. "Excellent, Shego. The mind-altering machine is ready to go. Tell the guards to go on break. I want this to be as easy as…Possible," Drakken told her.
He knew Shego had rolled her eyes at his little funny, but that didn't matter. His plan was coming to completion, and nothing or no one will get in his way.
Slowly, Drakken placed the glowing cube in a very dense silver briefcase and took it down the stairs to stare at the large container with a silver laser machine within it, a smirk on his face.
Kim Possible…
How that name infuriated him to no end.
Every time he's made a grand plan to take over the world, she's always there to stop him, but this time, he counts on her to be here. To stop him from his plan to take over the world but little did she know, this wasn't for world domination.
This plan was to have one of the world's greatest heroes under his command, and it was a straightforward plan, and the key object that would help him was this glowing yellow stone that was filled with untapped energy.
When Shego returned to their base with this object to him after stealing it from deep in the vaults of a destroyed base from some unknown agency, Drakken didn't know what to make of this odd stone.
But then, an agent of Global Justice, disguised as one of his men, had tried to take it, and then the most peculiar thing happened.
The minute he touched it, the man had screamed in pure agonizing torture before his eyes turned into a pale, lifeless yellow, and yet he was alive. Drakken didn't know what was going on and asked the man what his mission was, and to Drakken's shock, the man gave very detailed objectives about his mission.
This rather strange-looking stone could mind control people!
After finding out about this discovery, Drakken decided to study it, and after a few days, he realized he had unknowingly found something that could change the world! This small stone would be able to form energy that the world had never seen as well as power any machine to maximum strength as well as control people's mind.
Drakken knew his plan, but he wanted to test it, and that is where Kim Possible came in.
She would be the ultimate test to see if this stone is successful in taking control of one's mind and if it was, not only would he have the best fighter in the form of Shego…But he would have Kim Possible under his command as well.
And it would only be a matter of time before he tested out the mind-altering machine on a much larger scale. Drakken grabbed the small stone, used the ladder to get to the top of the device, placed the glowing object into its resting place, then shut the door to contain it.
And not a second sooner because Shego came running up towards him and said, "She and her buffoon have finally made it."
[POV: Team Possible]
"The guards are leaving…." Kim whispered to Ron as they stealthily hid against the wall, peering over the corner as a Henchmen flicked his cigarette into the snow before entering the fortress.
Before the door fully closed, Kim tossed her back bag in between the door, stopping it from fully closing and with a look towards Ron, the two entered the fortress slowly and looked up to see all of the henchmen walking into the break room that resided upstairs.
"I have to say…." Ron started.
With Kim knowing him so long, she knew what he would say and quickly covered his mouth. Ron shot her a look of confusion at why she suddenly covered his mouth, and she gave a wry grin in response.
"Ron, you know in these types of situations, you can never say "That was pretty easy" because that's when things get worse…." Kim said with a stern look on her face, causing Ron to roll his eyes and take her hand from his mouth.
"Well, it was pretty ea-" Whatever he was going to say died in his throat as Kim pushed him forward and backflipped from a green plasma blast, courtesy of Shego.
"For the record…I won't say I told you so," Kim said with a cheeky grin on her face, causing Ron's right brow to twitch lightly in annoyance, but the two quickly steeled themselves when she saw Shego opening her mouth.
"Well, hello princess, it's about time you got here, and it's time for your daily dose of a beating from yours truly!" Shego shouted cockily while pointing at the two teens.
Kim grinned and faced the emerald beauty and replied, "Well, if it isn't my arch-nemesis. Ready for your all-expense-paid ass-kicking?"
"With a side of pain and misery!" Ron shouted out, wanting to excite his partner, and this time, Kim smiled at him before smirking at Shego, who was laughing at this.
Shego merely smirked and made a "Bring it" motion with her hands, making Kim grin, and in unison, the two charged towards each other.
When they got close enough, the two jumped into the air with a flying kick, but Shego's kick succeeding with hers landing on Kim's chin, sending her to the ground. Kim flipped to her feet and swept Shego's feet from under her when the villainess landed on the floor.
Shego immediately flipped up and threw a right hook, but Kim blocked it with her left arm and aimed a roundhouse kick to Shego's head. Still, Shego ducked it and landed a solid blow to Kim's stomach, sending her staggering back.
Still, Kim caught Shego's kick, twisted her body, and the side of right foot connected to Shego's face, sending her falling on her side but Shego kicked Kim's stomach and then her face, sending Kim onto her back but after a moment, the two got back on their feet and circled each other.
"I have to say, Princess, you've gotten better," Shego complimented the red-haired teen in front of her, wiping the blood that was trickling down the corner of her mouth away.
"I have to say, Shego, you've gotten better as well…" Kim admitted while rubbing her left cheek.
She wasn't lying either.
Kim didn't know what Shego had done during their times not fighting because her hits had a lot more power behind them than before, and that's saying a lot because Shego was pretty strong, to begin with.
"Well then…Enough of compliments. Let's get to it!" Shego shouted, her hands lighting up with her plasma, instantly putting Kim on her guard.
[POV: Ron Stoppable]
Ron watched on in worry as Kim and Shego returned to their fighting, but he shook his head. Kim would be ok. She always was.
"I should be more focused on finding Drakken's self-destruct button he installs on his lairs," Ron mumbled to himself as he began to search the typical spots the button would be in because Ron knew that even when Drakken had new lairs, he built them all the same.
Why did a scientist born for world domination do this? Ron had no idea, but it helped him out a lot more, but as he looked, he started to realize the wires that would come together to the button were nowhere to be seen.
"I think Drakken finally smartened up and at the worst time too," Ron muttered with annoyance and a snap of his fingers. Drakken was getting more innovative, but he was "Doctor" Drakken for a reason…But what was the reasoning? Ron shook his head.
He was getting off-topic. He had to put his mad ninja skills to work and find another way to take this place down.
Ron ran up the stairs and looked through every room to find a room with a command center-ish feel to it.
And that's when Ron noticed that in the middle of all these computers was a button.
A big red button.
A big red button had a "DO NOT TOUCH" sign on it, signaling Ron one thing.
'A self-destruct button,' Ron thought to himself with a wide goofy grin on his face.
"Well, maybe we gave old Drakken too much credit, Rufus old buddy," Ron said to his best friend that was leaning out of his coat pocket, nodding in agreement.
"Mhmm, press, press," Rufus said before hopping out of the comfy pocket and onto the button, making the lights in the area flash red immediately.
"I knew you would play into my hands one day, Buffoon…." Ron turned around in surprise and saw the smirking Drakken stepping out from an area inside the walls.
"Drakken…." Ron and Rufus hissed out, seeing the blue-skinned man in front of them, the passageway disappearing between the sliding walls behind him.
"What are you still doing here, Drakken? You usually escape when your lairs start to crumble," Ron gave a slight grin at his own words, which were also laced with a tiny bit of confusion within them, but that confusion quickly grew when Drakken began to laugh cockily.
"Foolish Buffoon, do you think that button was going to make my lair crumble?" Drakken said in amusement while Ron had a perplexed look on his face, but that's when he took in the sounds and the sights.
Usually, when he pressed the button, things would fall apart, but this time…There was nothing. No pieces of the ceiling crashing to the ground, no pillars falling, no sounds of explosions, not sounds of breaking glass.
Suddenly, Ron headed to the door, but to his shock, two giant Henchmen were standing in front of it, completely trapping him inside, and not a moment later, Drakken cackled.
"Not this time, buffoon!" He heard Drakken yell behind him as the henchmen began to step into the door, making Ron walk back slowly. Things weren't looking so good now, but Ron had an ace up his sleeve.
Literally.
"Get 'em, Rufus!" Rufus leaped out from Ron's pocket at his master/ best friend's command and collided onto one of the giant henchmen's glasses, completely blinding him.
"Get it off of me! Get it off!" The henchman cried out in alarm, causing the other henchmen to freak out gingerly try and get the naked mole-rat off of his friend's face.
Ron saw his chance took a few steps back before running forward and sliding through the Henchmen's spread legs and crawled onto his feet while Rufus crawled away from the man's line of sight and hopped off his shoulder, and landing in Ron's hands before the blond boy started to flee.
"Get him!" Ron heard Drakken scream and suddenly, Ron was out running extremely hot lasers that were heading his way, seemingly to make him a crispy snack in the making.
'Jeez…That was in terrible taste,' Ron thought with a sick feeling in his stomach from the rather dark joke that had sprung in his head.
Ron scrambled around the corner, then down the stairs downstairs, only to skid to a stop when he found himself staring at fifteen armed henchmen, their weapons pointed in his direction.
Ron was panicking, something fierce.
He knew that whatever Drakken had planned, Kim was somehow involved, and he had to save her. Ron grabbed the railing next to him and flung himself off into the air, much to everyone's shock.
Ron twisted his body in the air and crashed into many discarded boxes on his back and slowly crawled out from out of it, in pain from the stunt, but once again, it could've been worse had he not worn his coat absorbed most of the impact.
Ron rolled to his stomach, and through the haze of pain, he saw the large red and black laser beam shooting down to the ground with a container under it and saw Shego getting Kim closer to it.
"Oh no…." Ron whispered in horror before he scrambled to his feet and charged forward as the sounds of lasers hitting the ground all around him became apparent. Ron was suddenly flung to the side as a laser hit him in his side. Luckily for him, Rufus wasn't on that side, and even luckier, the coat once again saved him from seriously getting wounded.
As Ron got onto his feet, he saw Kim getting punched in her face, causing her to stumble back even closer to the open container behind her.
Ron's eyes widened before they narrowed.
[POV: Kim Possible]
"Come on, Princess, are you tired already? Don't tell me you've given up!" Shego said with an amused grin on her face as Kim wiped the blood from the corner of her mouth, her breath coming out ragged.
Since their fight had started, Kim and Shego had been evenly tied, but the moment she had taken her eyes off of Shego to see Ron tossed to the side thanks to a laser hitting him, she was immediately and brutally forced to pay attention. And now, Shego was in control.
Kim held her side while blood trickled down the left corner of her mouth, parts of her black shirt and green cargo were torn in several places, and blood falling down the right side of her head.
She didn't need anyone to say it.
She looked beaten, but she wasn't out.
"Well, kitten, looks like this is the end," Shego said with a wide grin after landing a brutal ax kick to Kim's shoulder, sending the girl to her knees on the ground.
Kim looked up at the face of the smirking Shego and scowled heavily, her face red with anger as Shego stood above her, victorious.
Shego knew that prolonging her victory would end up with Kim counterattacking, so with a quick smirk, Shego lifted her right leg and aimed the kick that would effectively not only end their rivalry but would start the princess' start into darkness.
But when Shego forced her right leg into a kick aimed at Kim's face, there was a flash of red going to the floor and a mop of dirty blond hair that filled her vision before it was whipped back into the container, and that was when the screams of torture had begun.
Shego hadn't even realized what happened at first.
Everything had moved so fast, but as she looked into the container and saw Ron screaming in agony, it was at that moment that Shego started to realize what happened.
The idiot, the loser, the pathetic Ron Stoppable had taken her kick instead of Kim, and now he was in that mind-altering laser, screaming in pure agony as the yellow energy filled the container.
"Ron!" Kim screamed out in panic when she heard his screams of pain and quickly moved to her feet to try and open the container, and when she didn't, Kim began to kick at it repeatedly, but nothing was working!
Luckily, the sounds of helicopters were heard from a distance, and everyone in the area's heads snapped up.
"It's Global Justice!" A henchman screamed out, and suddenly, everyone was scrambling to get out of there.
Hearing this announcement, Drakken yelled, "Shego, get the stone!" Shego nodded and leaped over the panicking Kim and forcibly shut down the machine by slicing through the power cord with her energy-covered hand, and with a pull, Shego yanked out the stone and tossed it to Drakken, who was riding in their hovercar.
Shego leaped up into the car as Drakken put the cube within the thick silver briefcase and yelled, "Until next time, Kim possible!" before the two flew out of a large overhead entrance of their lair.
Kim scowled, but her attention was turned to her now unconscious best friend in the container.
"Hold on, Ron!" Kim screamed out as she reached into her pocket and picked up her laser lipstick, and burned the thick glass into a circular shape until the shape of a large hole was in the glass.
The container finally gave way with three hard kicks, leaving the lifeless Ron to fall forward, only for Kim to catch him. Kim pulled his limp body out of the container and out of his pocket, can unconscious Rufus fell out his pocket lifelessly but still alive.
"Rufus…" Kim sadly sighed out as she picked up the naked mole-rat and held him close. The noise of helicopters where right outside of the lair and the moment GJ's agents came pouring in, a battered Kim Possible and her unconscious sidekick were what awaited them.
After the agents fixed up Kim, she helplessly watched as they loaded up the unconscious Ron into the Medi-copter before she got into the copter herself, and together, the battered Team Possible headed back to Middleton, all. At the same time, Ron and Rufus tossed, turned, and screamed in pain from whatever had happened to them, causing the immense guilt to continue to form in her heart.
'Ron…Rufus…Please be ok….'
Ron-Pool: So…A few changes already in. I'm glad to see that is good.
Loki: Well of course. Already setting up a story arc here. So now we sit and relax…Well you sit and relax. Me and Darcy will be watching "Star Wars" whatever that will entail so until next time Midgardians.
Ron-Pool: Deuces!