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AN: I find I have to warn you about this chapter. It doesn't go into any specifics, not really, it does cross a line of consent and while a previous chapter also alluded to it, it wasn't quite as graphic as this one, even though this one isn't graphic either, but is a bit more specific in it's own ways. It's a very short part of this chapter and this chapter is more lead up and afterward but it is in here. It could be a trigger for someone. It's meant to be very short and bizarre in it's own way.
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Chapter 8
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The Karofsky men sat across from the Hummel men and only Mr. Figgins sat between them. "There's been grave accusations flung around in here." Mr. Figgins started and David protested.
"He's lying, the little freak is making up stories."
"Why would he lie, David?" It was his father that spoke, tired and hating that he'd been dragged in here at all.
"The homo is trying to ruin my reputation, drag me down to his level, he does that. He isn't satisfied with ruining Finn, Puck and Mike's reputations, he's after mine now too. Maybe he heard me singing in the shower or something and is using this to get me to join his little freak show club. I know all about what they do there, it's not pretty. The fag would do anything to win and not be alone down in the gutter."
"I'd be very careful with what you say about my son." Burt's face was red with barely controlled anger, he hated that word more than Kurt did.
Mr. Karofsky held up a hand to try and keep the peace. "You and I both know that it's taken us a long time to learn that words hurt, he's going to get there too."
"He threatened to kill me if I told anyone about what he did to me in the classroom." Kurt rubbed at his side. "A few more hits to pound that in, that he very well could, easily, he may have if he kept going."
"You're lying!" David hissed at Kurt. "You're just a lying fag!"
"Why, David does he have prints on him that he definitely didn't do to himself?" Mr. Karofsky asked remaining calm.
"Maybe someone in his house did it to him and he's blaming me!" David argued and Kurt was impressed by how well he came up with excuses, too bad they were all for horrible reasons and painted others just as badly as he was.
"Some of those prints are awfully similar to your own hand prints when they're dirty after a game and you touch your uniform." Mr. Karofsky seemed to have his own son pegged, not letting him get away with his lies. "I've known something was up, Dave, for a few months, I just never thought it would be this." He waved to the photos on the table that Burt had printed out, he had only printed off the ones from his phone, not Kurt's.
Mr. Figgins was surprised by Mr. Karofsky doing all the work for the Hummels. "Are you saying that you're ok with us expelling David?"
"I'm saying that if you need to suspend him, I totally understand and I will get him into counseling, this is going to end. He's going to come back a different person." Mr. Karofsky turned to look at the Hummels. "I'm sorry about what he's done. He won't do it again. Please don't go forward with the official charges against him. I'll get him reformed."
"What does that mean?" Kurt asked carefully, wondering if he was thinking about sending him to a conversion camp, that never worked and they usually came back worse and more messed up and going to even worse extremes.
"Just counseling, get him to talk out his issues and learn that it's ok that he has desires for another male. That to be attracted to another guy is ok and that he is not a 'freak' and to get him to understand that what he'd done is wrong and there are better ways to go about starting a relationship. To have a healthy relationship with another person, be it male or female or both or neither."
"As long as he's gone and never comes near Kurt again, we'll consider what you're asking. We won't withdraw it completely because if he ever breaks our agreement, I'm going to slap him with the highest lawsuit and punishment ever." Burt spoke for Kurt because at this point, he was the legal guardian and was the one who would make all the legal decisions. Kurt didn't protest, he knew that his dad was bluffing, they had nothing at this point other than Mr. Karofsky's willingness to go along with it and punish Dave himself.
Maybe Mr. Karofsky was right, maybe counseling would help David and if he came back, maybe he'd apologize too and admit it to both of them and would keep his distance. In the end, a few bruises and a kiss and a hand job weren't the worst things in the world, even if Kurt hadn't enjoyed any part of it, even if his body had reacted, it hadn't been pleasurable in the slightest. If David got help and then helped teach others about how he went about his coming out the totally wrong way and help guide others to come out the right way and teach others to not hurt those they were interested in, how not to be little boys who attacked when they liked someone, maybe it would be a good thing in the end, even if Kurt was a little scarred by it. He'd get over it eventually. This wasn't going to effect him for forever and he'd grow and learn from it. Maybe if David came back reformed, he could teach people who were in Kurt's position the signs to look for, how to avoid it and how to get out of it if it came down to it. They could help so many more people.
Kurt wouldn't let them be alone ever again though. As David glared at him though, he wondered if he and his dad were doing the right thing, David had to want to change if he was going to change. No matter how much people told him he should or could or talked through his problems, it all boiled down to that in the end.
He hoped that Dave was just angry right now and would want to change, that it would come from within him too once he settled down.
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He didn't see Dave for almost 2 months and spring was almost upon them. It wasn't quite spring yet though, but the buzz was starting to be felt in the air, people were starting to resent being cooped up and not allowed to be outside as much as humans were supposed to be. People were starting to act up and act out. He supposed Dave who was house bound only going from home to therapy sessions and back was feeling it more than the rest of them.
Kurt was rudely confronted with Dave's return when the boy was standing right behind him after he finished exchanging books in his locker and almost ran into the silent boy who was too close.
Kurt recoiled. Blaine had attempted to teach him, but since the bully was gone, he was left alone. The junior hadn't been heard from, hadn't been seen and his pals had left Kurt alone too, thinking that the other guy was removed from property because of the bullying alone. Kurt let them think that, the longer it took them to work up the courage to attack him, the better.
Karofsky grinned overly bright at Kurt and pulled him into a hug. Kurt struggled and rolled and tried to get out of his meaty embrace, if anything, he seemed even stronger than before. He pushed at Dave's chest and the boy only laughed and released Kurt from his chest but still held his shoulders in his hands, his fingers flexing there almost painfully. "Hi, it's so nice to see you. I was looking for you and was glad I found you before you headed to class. I just wanted to let you know I was back and will make up for what I did to you."
"That's great, now, let me go." Kurt reached for the hands on his shoulders, keeping him trapped and captive and he didn't like that feeling whatsoever.
"I just wanted to apologize about how things went down before my absence."
This Karofsky was too nice, too polite, too... almost like a robot, programmed to say and do certain things and act a certain way but Kurt didn't trust it. He felt like the surface of his words were what he was supposed to say, that anyone listening would think he was reformed but something within Kurt, something about those eyes looking at him with that fake grin plastered on his face, told him there was a lot of subtext happening and he didn't want to be anywhere near this 'reformed Karofsky' any more than he wanted to be near him prior to the suspension. He changed his mind then and there, he didn't want him anywhere near the rest of the PFLAG students, he didn't want him joining, he didn't want him to give speeches or advice to people in Kurt's position, they'd all be carefully crafted lies and would put them all in even worse danger.
He knew they'd made a mistake by letting him off. He'd been gone the whole two months, crafting, planning, deciding on what he was going to do to get his revenge. The bell rang, officially making Kurt late to class and he was completely alone with Karofsky in the hallway, no one else had seen them together or if they had, hadn't cared or put it together. No one was coming to his defense now. He should have taken Blaine up on those classes, at least how to get out of holds like this.
Everyone else who ever offered a threat toward Kurt had been talked out of it by Kurt's quick wit and conversation and had been distracted enough that they forgot why they'd crowded Kurt in the first place. Karofsky, no matter how much Kurt talked and he talked quick now, he talked fast and conversationally and convincingly, he wouldn't be distracted from what he wanted.
Talked out, knowing it was pointless, Kurt got ready to scream, he took a deep breath and then one of those hands did leave his shoulder and covered his mouth firmly but not bruising. "I learned my lesson, don't you want me to prove it to you?" He asked still too brightly and then physically dragged Kurt down the hall and toward the boys' locker room. His hand still firmly over Kurt's mouth with Kurt struggling and fighting and scratching at him with his nails until Karofsky bled but he kept on going, as if numb to the pain. Maybe he was hopped up on mood changing drugs that he was numb, that neurotic smile never left his face and Kurt felt a real fear go through him as he had time to process what was going to happen, rather than it being forced on him before he knew what was coming this time. Once in there, his hands made short work of tying Kurt up with a scarf so as not to bruise or scratch him and tied his hands to the bench. Then another scarf went around Kurt's mouth, in it, keeping him from being able to be heard if he tried to scream, which he did, he screamed and hollered and made as much noise as he could. He slammed his feet against the concrete floor, hoping the sounds would alert someone or at least make them curious enough to figure out what was going on.
His pants were stripped down from his hips and he renewed his efforts ten-fold, the sounds he made though would be barely heard within in the deserted locker room, never outside of it. He was completely left alone with this... this... to call him a neanderthal would be insulting an entire population. Psycho, with that stupid grin as he kissed Kurt's panicked face, licking at the tears streaming down his face, was a much better word for him. His mouth covered Kurt's and because he was gagged, he couldn't bite down and his lips were much more gentle even while his tongue explored space there he wouldn't otherwise be able to. Kurt sobbed and cried out but he was running out of energy and Karofsky let him and then his mouth bypassed Kurt's chest and went straight to his crotch. He looked up at Kurt with that terrible grin. "I told you, I'm going to give you a present. This is an apology about before. I should have done this first. Maybe then you wouldn't have gone to our dads." His mouth licked and sucked and Kurt watched with disbelief as his body reacted while he wanted to throw up, wanted to cry and scream about how much he hated it, but bodies were designed to respond to stimulus, even weird stimulus and his was no different, though he didn't want it, didn't desire it.
When he came, it was painful, not pleasurable and Dave swallowed it all and licked him clean if any leaked out. Kurt did throw up but the gag kept it from coming out and felt like he was choking on it. Karofsky came back up to kiss Kurt more and spoke between the kisses over his gag. "See, this time, no bruises. No proof that I ever touched you. I learned my lesson." He gave Kurt one last kiss before he stood up and looked down, admiring Kurt in his state of undress with a satisfied smile before he left. He left Kurt just like that, without releasing his hands or pulling the gag out of his mouth so he could breath easier or clear his throat of the bile still burning the back of his throat.
Kurt pushed with his feet up towards his hands and slid painfully along the ground and there was nothing he could do about his pants around his ankles at this point but he managed to pull himself between his feet and his arms towards his hands and tugged at the scarf in his mouth. He managed to tug it loose but it fell to his chin, above the one he already wore. Then Kurt screamed, screamed bloody murder and screamed until his voice was raw. To save his voice and his lung capacity, he started to use his teeth to free his hands, he wouldn't just be stuck there until boys started coming in to change for gym class next period or the end of the current one. He didn't even know if there was a gym class right now. He wasn't having any luck with his hands, Karofsky had tied him too well.
A bit of a closeted contortionist, Kurt managed to swing his legs up by his hands and somehow got his underwear up his thighs and over his hips but he was exhausted by the effort and his pants would be a lot more work and so he just curled up into a ball and breathed through his torment and worked on gathering himself so he could try again.
Still painfully raw and sore, he screamed and yelled and banged his feet still with shoes on against the metal bench, turned to try and kick the lockers closet to him, making as much noise as he possibly could while straining against the scarf holding his wrists and hands in place.
Someone had finally heard his screams but it was too late, would have been too late too even if he hadn't been gagged the whole time. By the time they heard him and got to him, it would have been enough time to do it to him all over again. Karofsky of course was nowhere in sight, was off campus and hadn't been caught on a single camera. Principal Figgins patted Kurt on the head as if he was a delusional child. "David Karofsky's suspension isn't up for another 2 weeks. You couldn't have been attacked by him." There was no bruising and while his pants were not on, his underwear was and he looked mostly put together and Figgins tried to say it was probably a practical joke. That someone had pants him, nothing more.
Kurt argued that he had put his underwear back on himself because he didn't want to be found so exposed and when he waved at the scarves that had been used to restrain him, Mr. Figgins had nothing to say and when Burt called the principal all sorts of names and demanded to see the videos himself, he watched them and there wasn't a single image of Karofsky on campus.
"You believe me, don't you dad?" Kurt asked when Mr. Figgins left them alone for a minute and Burt dragged Kurt into his arms and held him.
"Of course I do. I don't know how he avoided all the cameras, but I know you're telling the truth. We'll find a way to prove it too." They would have finger prints, on his clothes, cells from his mouth on Kurt, DNA on him somewhere, somehow; track down who bought the scarves and from where and somehow prove that David had been connected to them and had used them on Kurt. Even if he'd left bruises on Kurt, with how he'd managed to come in and out without being seen, it would have made very little difference, even with Kurt's side of the story and proof that he'd been restrained with the scarves still present. Hell, David probably could have taken the scarves away with him by the time anyone came to help Kurt and still have left on time. There wouldn't have been a single item of proof.
For Kurt it was worse than the last time. Yes, perhaps he had gotten off lucky not having to go to the hospital except that he did anyway so they could do swabs of any place David could have touched, got the skin cells from beneath his fingers and do something with them. But David didn't have his DNA on file and it looked like Kurt was the aggressor since he had hurt David this time, but he wasn't supposed to be on campus yet and if they could get pictures of David's skin with Kurt's scratches in it, then they had a case; sort of.
He'd been completely helpless both times and while he hadn't even been injured this time, he had been tied down and one couldn't argue that a mouth was worse than a hand or vice versa, all he knew was that he was incredibly violated either way, again. Which is partly why it was worse, but this time he didn't really get to kiss Kurt, not really. This time it was definitely easy to prove that Kurt had not wanted it; if anyone beside his dad listened to him, at any rate.
The police took more notice of it because technically, since David tied him up, it was no longer just an assault or attempted rape but could charge him with kidnapping. Despite using scarves in an attempt to not bruise Kurt, there were still red marks from where Kurt fought against the restraints and would bruise. The soft fabric still scraped against his skin.
Condoms were supposed to be used with oral sex too, Kurt remember dimly commenting as he was now in a state of shock, he didn't. How had that happened so quickly and easily in a place that was filled with people? Both kids and adults and he'd made as much noise as he possibly could the entire length of the hallway as he was dragged. He'd tried kicking out at lockers and trash cans and he'd been so easily controlled.
Before they'd left, they'd heard Figgins make an announcement on the intercom system "Please come forward if you've seen David Karofsky on campus today."
The entire ND sent him a million texts the second they heard his name and Finn had caught up to him and Burt before they could leave for the hospital. "I'm coming with!" Finn had argued when Burt told him to go back to class. "There's no way I'll be able to concentrate now." Finn put a hand on Kurt's shoulder as they headed to Burt's truck. "Are you ok?"
Kurt shook his head no and Finn left it at that. He stayed by Kurt's side though, always within reach and tried to cheer Kurt up by reading a lot of the texts sent their way out loud. Some of the texts were of concern, and then trying to entice Kurt to talk, and then to distract him from his obvious distress.
"Hey, there's a text from a boy, saying he was attacked in... why do you know someone in Wooster? What can you do about an attack there, anyway?"
Kurt leapt for the phone and managed to pry it from Finn's shocked fingers and he text quickly to a group of three boys he knew were nearby and sent them the exact location and the name of the boy and any pertinent details he could remember. Being able to help someone else, made him feel marginally better and he was a bit more centered as he looked through the rest of the messages on his phone.
"Did anyone contact Blaine?"
Finn smacked his forehead. "I knew there was something I was forgetting. I can do that now, if you'd like."
"You still don't like him?" Kurt asked a bit impatiently, he didn't have it within him to care about Finn's antics.
"He lives too far away and he doesn't seem like someone who could protect you." Finn shrugged. "I'm not used to seeing so much sameness in a relationship."
Kurt snorted and went back to his phone and looked through more texts and tried to reassure his friends that everything was ok. Because despite this being worse for Kurt than the last time, it was actually a lot easier to ignore, there weren't any bruises to explain away to anyone. Only the police and his dad had to hear about what happened in that locker room, because they sure as shit were going to press charges this time.
Finally, he looked up at Finn again who was still looking at him after that snort. "You really don't see things, do you?" He and Finn had gotten a lot closer over the last couple of months, they'd actually started talking to each other, but Finn still ignored Blaine. "Blaine and I are not all that similar, not in the ways that really matter. Sure we're both gay and that's where you differ with him, but pretty much everything else I say will actually be things that the three of us share or the two of you share. Like show choir, musical theater, acting, performing, singing, cars, those are things that all of us like. I also know that you secretly like romantic comedies despite being labeled by most people as a 'chick flicks'. He's not interested in fashion, old or foreign movies, he puts up with them because I like them, just like I put up with him watching sports while he's supposed to be hanging out with me, because he likes them. He thinks I should tone it down too, even though he would never actually dare say it, at least to my face. He likes video games, and drinking and grilling and while he'll cook breakfast, he's not the cook or baker in the relationship.
He will keep things clean, but he doesn't enjoy doing it and he's not overly concerned about keeping things perfectly neat and undoing damage he's done to clothes, not like I am. He'd be perfectly happy to leave his clothes in a heap and deal with getting the wrinkles out later, after they get there which could have been avoided in the first place. The only reason he cares about his uniform is because he has to otherwise the school would say something. He likes junk food and finds nothing wrong with eating or indulging in it, maybe even overindulging in it occasionally. He doesn't like healthy food and only eats it because I won't eat anything else without a lot of cajoling. I know he secretly sneaks pizza into his diet on more than one day of the week, more than two, probably. He likes sweets and has an incredible sweet tooth that I have on more than one occasion caught him indulging in with an entire bag of chocolates." Kurt shook his head. "Sound similar to anyone?"
"Sounds like me and Burt." Finn shook his head though. "But he doesn't present that way at all."
"That's because you don't actually listen to him. He and dad are always talking at breakfast about the latest games, whatever sport they happen to be. He's been at the garage and has helped out on more than one occasion while waiting for me to change when he picks me up for a date. They commiserate about the junk food that doesn't exist in the house any more, never really did once I was allowed to start doing the grocery shopping, even before they met or dad met Carole."
Kurt looked at his phone and sighed. "Looks like nobody's come forward yet, nobody will admit that they saw Karofsky on campus, especially not for my benefit."
"They didn't mention you in the announcement." Finn countered.
"They didn't have to, everyone knows that Karofsky is suspended because of me. They may as well have mentioned me, it wouldn't have made any difference." The football and hockey seasons were over but that didn't mean that they weren't wanting Karofsky to come back for the games next year. He'd be a senior at that time and probably even bigger than he already was and improve their chances of winning even more. Kurt didn't think anyone out of the ND would ever come forward for him.
He looked back down at his phone and sighed in relief, the boy was ok and was with friends.
"Thankfully, I didn't have to rely on Finn remembering me, to be contacted." Blaine's voice was behind them and they turned to see him and Burt walking toward them. "Burt had contacted me the second he was called by the school to come in because something new had happened." Kurt had just sent him a text too saying that something happened. Blaine slid his hands up Kurt's arms and rubbed them, trying to warm Kurt up. "Are you doing ok?"
"Unsettled, but overall, yes, actually." He was surrounded by family this time, they all believed him and he didn't have to deal with this alone, hadn't let him have a moment to deal with it alone since Beiste found him emptying his stomach, with his hands still wrapped up in a scarf, the other one around his neck, in addition to the one he already had there. She'd taken a photo with explanation that it could be proof. Those words were used far too often, he though, more than they should be, because he shouldn't need proof for someone to believe him or trust him or, well, he shouldn't need anyone to have to in the first place because these things should not be happening at all. "You didn't text to say you were on your way."
"I was driving. Do you want me to text and drive?" Blaine asked with a cock to his head and Kurt made a face at him back.
"You're kind of a jerk at times, aren't you?" He was only teasing and Blaine rubbed his hands against Kurt's arms again, looking at his lips and then away, focusing entirely too much on his hands. "It's ok to kiss me." Kurt whispered and Blaine looked back at him, asking for permission, making sure Kurt really was ok with it and he nodded. He'd long gotten the taste of Karofsky and puke out of his mouth, though Blaine might not agree, despite Kurt brushing his mouth out three times. "Only if you want to, of course. I could understand-" Blaine's lips settled gently over Kurt's cutting off his idiotic line of thought, of course Blaine wanted to kiss him, would always want to.
Burt finished up with the hospital and the paperwork and the police and then sent Finn to ride with Blaine back to the house while he took Kurt home. They'd pick up the other cars later.
–
Nothing came of it. There was no proof and Karofsky wat where he was supposed to be when he was supposed to be, both before the attack and after. He had video proof of him being there and while he went to the bathroom for a time period there was no way to prove that he had left, as the bathrooms in there didn't have any exits and they didn't see him leave or come back with any of the other cameras. Not that he hadn't been able to avoid cameras and proven that skill. They also said it wasn't long enough of an absence for him to do all that Kurt said and to get back in time without breaking several speeding records.
Burt wanted to call foul on those records and proof and when he asked about the DNA all over Kurt, they said they can't prove when that all went down. Yes Karofsky had fingernail marks and scratches and they were pretty deep ones at that and would probably scar but by the time they looked at them and got images of them, there was no way to determine when Kurt had done it or why. Yes, they could prove that Karofsky touched him, but they couldn't prove when that was either nor if it was consensual or not from either party. They were back to where they started with the he-said, he-said and this time the older Karofsky wasn't on their side.
"He's going through counseling, he's getting better, he's a perfect child again. He's smiling and he's happy and he's done all of his homework and he's getting the grades again. I'm glad they let him do his school work still, so he doesn't have to repeat a year or semester. He'll be back at school in 2 weeks, he's paid his debt to society. I'm sorry that Kurt believes him to have attacked him again, but there's no way. Maybe you should look into counseling for Kurt as well, maybe he needs to confront why he feels it's necessary to make up stories about my son."
Burt had rammed those words back down his throat with a few very choice words and thoughts and opinions and the elder Karofsky held up his hands in peace. "Ok, we'll never know for sure, they're going to always tell different sides to this story. Your son attacked mine this time."
"There is no way in hell, my son was the culprit. Those are defensive wounds, look at the way they go, your son had mine locked in his arms and Kurt was fighting to get loose!"
"Maybe he had him locked in his arms because yours attacked first. We have no proof."
"He molested my child, again!"
"That's what he says. Maybe he just feels guilty for acting on his impulses and regrets it. I know he likes to pretend that he's a member of the celibacy club."
"If my son says that he's celibate, then he is and anything you can sling at him is because your son has forced himself onto Kurt."
"If what Kurt says is true in the slightest, it sounds as if Dave is giving Kurt pleasure, not taking any for himself."
"Some people get pleasure making someone else come, they don't have to be touched themselves, as long as they've forced someone else. They relive that pleasure later, pleasure themselves."
"That's a pretty powerful accusation." Mr. Karofsky said with eyebrows raised. "Hopefully you can back that up or I'll sue you for slander if I hear anyone else mention it in connection with my son. You might be protecting your son Mr. Hummel, then please respect the fact that I'm also protecting mine." They were at a crossroads and there was nothing more Burt could do at this particular impasse. "If you don't want your son to attend McKinley high any more, I will respect that decision. Maybe he can get the help he needs."
That kid had to have done a pretty good job convincing those counselors that he was doing better. Burt really considered the elder Karofsky's words, he could take out a loan on the house or the shop or both and send Kurt to Dalton. He would hate it despite being able to be with his boyfriend and Dalton friends. He could pull him and send him to another public school, West Lima was always an option, he had a friend there – no, he was graduating this year and wouldn't be able to protect Kurt from other dangers at that school. Instead of one shark, he'd be put into a pool of them.
He put the options forward to Kurt. "I will make whatever you need work." He promised his kid. He was starting to spiral himself, finding danger for Kurt around every corner. Afraid that he wouldn't be able to protect him, that every choice would be wrong, even keeping him home and homeschooling him or keeping him at the shop wouldn't be enough to keep him safe.
Kurt could read the panic in his father's eyes despite everything in him trying to hide it from him. Neither Hummel male did a good job with lying. Blaine sat beside him and leaned back into his chair and said very dryly. "The options you present are just as good as having him living in my parents' home and sending him to Carver."
Burt looked up, excited by that prospect and then remembered all that Blaine said about how he'd been treated there. "They don't know Kurt there, if he goes back to dressing how he did, then maybe he'll be able to survive the next couple of years untouched and then the two of you can go to New York together and -"
Kurt shook his head and took Burt's hand in both of his. "No, dad. Blaine would have a panic attack daily if I went there and I'm sure you're not going to be that comfortable with me there either." He let go of Burt's hand with one of his to reach out and cover Blaine's and squeezed both. "And staying at McKinley is going to give both of you a panic attack anyway. West Lima isn't really an option, neither is Dalton." He held up a hand, the one that was clenched in Blaine's when both of them were going to protest his words there. "It's really not. It's a private school and I'd be miserable wearing a uniform every day, all day with no possibility of tweaking it."
"But you'd be safe." Burt protested.
"And you'd be with me." Blaine said silkily. "Hence safe and I hope happy."
"Blaine, you always make me happy, but I wouldn't be happy there and you know it too, despite being friends with so many of the Warblers anyway already." Kurt put his hand back over Blaine's. "The only real option is homeschooling. I can do that for the next year or so." He was attempting to be brave with his words, he'd be miserable at alone home too. At least he'd be home and Finn would come home and he'd be able to hang out with him, see Blaine and the Dalton boys, even going up there to surprise them on the days they had half days or days off or weekends. He'd be able to see the girls in the evenings or weekends and still be friends with everyone. The only problem was, he'd lose PFLAG even though there were only 4.5 members any given week, with Finn and Rachel actually going on Wednesdays after all and Santana still appeared randomly. He'd still be able to work on his clothes and wear whatever he wanted, without fear. He'd also lose Glee Club and performing and other activities they did after school, like plays or whatever. He wouldn't attend assemblies any more or perform words from kids like him; he wouldn't be reaching all those who needed to be reached with his performances and demonstrations. Not that he'd gotten anywhere over the last year anyway.
"That's not true." Finn said, and he must have said that last part out loud. "You've reached me and the other ND kids, like Puck and Santana and Artie, Tina, Mike, Mercedes and Quinn. Without you in Glee and forming the local branch of PFLAG we would still all be blind and ignorant of your plight and those like you and Blaine. We wouldn't have met Blaine or the other gay boys in the Warblers."
"We're not all gay-" Blaine started to protest but Kurt squeezed his hand and shook his head to keep quiet, it's not what Finn meant.
"We wouldn't have known what a horrible person Karofsky is or what a terrible principal Figgins is or how there's so much apathy in the police force. We're all trying to figure out a way to create change. You may not have reached as many people at McKinley as you hoped, but you did reach all of us and Mr. Schue more or less. Man, that guy is really distracted by his own life, he has no idea what's really going on with all of us. You've reached Beiste too and Sue and Miss Pillsbury."
"Not Brittany or Rachel?" Blaine asked, counting up all of those he'd said.
"Well, Rachel has 2 gay dads-"
"I swear she makes everyone say that." Kurt groaned and yet they saw very little of them. How much influence did they have in her life other than paying her way?
"And Brittany is Brittany, she have loved Kurt no matter what and will always love him. Although she wouldn't have known him without Glee and we only signed up because it was a way for me to get to know you better as my brother. And Rachel only sees her parents as adults who have conquered most of their hills already and are mainly settled, so yes, maybe you've reached her too and taught her that things aren't worked out now even though they did for her parents. That there's still a lot of fights out there for equal rights."
"Cheerios..." Kurt thought about it for a moment, that was definitely a way in. He could have even tried out for the football team, maybe more football players would have like him had he been able to show them that he could be good at sports. Though... both of those could have backfired too and Blaine had suggested a sport and he'd laughed. He shouldn't live in the past, there were choices made all around and this was not his fault. He didn't choose to be molested.
"This is only temporary, ok, until we figure out a better solution, ok?" Burt squeezed Kurt's hand and Kurt sighed and nodded, knowing that the solution was not going to come about, not in a way that he'd be satisfied with.
"Think about the network too." Blaine whispered in his ear. "You've reached so many people all over the place. You're not even remotely a failure, there's ripple effects with what you've done, you'll never be able to fully understand all that you've managed to do this year so far and where it will end, because it will likely never end. Everyone you've touched will have touched two or three more and it will continue to spread out. You've done good, very good."
"Hmm..." Kurt thought about the fact that this would give him more time to research attacks against gay kids and find ways to reach them. He might even be able to go out and visit them himself, talk with them, reassure them that they weren't alone and that he'd been through his own stuff too. "You're right, there's still a lot of good to do."
"There's an online program I looked into briefly while in the hospital after my attack, waiting to find out what my parents were going to do in response. I took a few cursory courses just to keep my education up. It was actually really nice, I'll get you the information."
So, Kurt became one of those home-schooled kids. He didn't think it was the worst thing on the planet and while it was an added expense, it wasn't that much more expensive. He even went around the state and got to meet other victims and chatted with them and exchanged numbers and really felt like he was helping people. He met up with both girls and boys who were the victims of attacks, both by bullies or otherwise; because they were gay or lesbians or just straight up victims. He told them his own stories and they talked and listened and talked some more.
He kept up with his studies.
His network of kids grew.
His radius out from home grew, going further and further out to meet kids who were out or were coming out. Word got out around the state about him and he started meeting up with kids who were questioning their sexuality, ones who knew they were but afraid to tell anyone. He listened and told them he didn't feel qualified to give advice for everyone's unique situation, but talked to them about his own. Schools asked him to come and talk to individuals who were having problems, talk at their assemblies and talk about himself or present those papers from others like them at their schools too. He even went to the all girl's private school and talked and the one with all the juvies.
More straight people joined the network too, vowing to answer the call or be cut out and have their names black-listed. Kurt had answered the call a few times himself and had met up with others in the area, practicing what he preached. He said it didn't matter if you could fight or not, the importance was numbers and each person brought another layer of protection, another thing they could do to contribute. His role some of those times were to call an ambulance or to hold something against the person while another person made the call.
He may have now been home-schooled but he spent even less time at home now than he ever had. He told his dad about what he was doing, finally, when the school that asked for him to visit was so far away that he knew he wouldn't be able to get there and back between breakfast and dinner. His dad was shocked, surprised and very supportive. Especially when Kurt showed him some videos that were taken at a few of the other assemblies.
"Why didn't you tell me before?" Burt asked.
"I thought you would try and stop me. This is something I need to be doing."
"This, this is amazing. I never thought there'd be so many people receptive to this kind of thing. You're amazing. Of course you can go." He was happy for Kurt to get out of this city and the further away the better. "You're doing so much good for the community. Can I be part of this group?"
Kurt frowned. "You can but I rather you weren't. You'd get called out to help people in the area and the people in the area are me and Chandler."
"I'd want to help you two, he helped you, and you're my son."
"It could be at any time or any day." Kurt hedged. "Are you sure your heart can take it?"
"Considering you'll be out of town most of the time, the only person I'll have to worry about is Chandler and he's pretty darn good at taking care of himself. I think I'll be fine."
Santana had been put on that list too, but she wasn't out and he didn't tell his dad that she could be another one he might have to help, it wasn't his place. Santana would meet up with him too if Chandler was in any trouble.
"There are people who come through town too and I guess they're always at risk too." Kurt took a deep breath, at least he'd be with his dad too if anyone got hurt, so he could be there for all of them. "Ok, if you want to be."
"You do have to call me though, if you're the one who's hurt." Burt hoped to god he was done getting hurt, but there was always the possibility.
"I will, it's the right thing to do." And he was getting better about telling his dad what happened when it happened. The cops may not do anything but the hospitals did and they could help protect one of their own.