The following document was submitted to L.E.A.F archives in 2/18/2020 and will thereafter be referred to as Document 6606HC.
People had always wondered about me ever since they found me in that dark alleyway wearing a white T-shirt with crimson stains on it. People called me all sort of things- a zombie spy, an alien, a government experiment gone wrong. Everything. They coined derogatory worlds for me.
The government didn't know what to do with me either. Sure, I looked like a zombie... my body structure matched a zombies exactly, but without the rotting flesh and lifelessness in the eyes. So... maybe they could use me to develop some weapons and shit to get some advantages over the zombies?
[REDACTED] took samples of every fluid in my body, but didn't make any revolutionary breakthroughs. In fact, there was no breakthroughs. They already knew a zombie's internal structure from the experiments they did. The only thing that they found that I didn't previously knew were samples of the zombie virus lying dormant, flowing in my bloodstream. The moment I die, the virus takes over and turns me into another zombie. That's a good f******* s*** to know.
But yeah, nothing groundbreaking. Every three years, they make me come in and do all those retarded things to me again. Who knows, maybe they thought the particular effect of eating a slice of birthday cake with myself three times might, I don't know, make my dick grow bigger or something?
Anyways, I'm going to share to you what I shared to them. To hell with confidentiality, to the nondisclosure agreement that I signed, it doesn't matter, people need to know about the Area 22 bulls***. [REST OF PARAGRAPH REDACTED]
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-12/2/2023 Action item : this document, which was inferred to be handwritten by David Blazing, the "human" asset, is a serious breach of the nondisclosure agreement that was signed on 8/31/2083. He will not be tried normally due to his possession of sensitive information. It is advised that he is assassinated.
-12/6/2023 Assassination successful. David Blazing deceased, survived by two adopted daughters (Sunflowers, tier 6, name Sol & Corona, twins), who will be placed into the Zen Garden foster care system, effective immediately.
2/29/2024 This document has been reviewed and is now closed for further post of information.
I'M GOING TO REWRITE MY CRAPPY STORY MOTHER FUCKAS!
I didn't give up PvZ. I got a lot of negative reviews from my friends, so i'm deciding to rewrite this so hopefully it's better. Please like and review, hopefully this community does a bit better with the hype of pvz 3. Leave a review for theories, but not spoilers if you read my story from before. Dolt out