Many Relationships Often Go Through Silly Misunderstandings

The throne room of the Queen's Palace on Planet Yandaray was filled with the dreary sounds of its six princesses' heartbroken cries.

"Awoooooo!"

"Nee heeheeeeee!"

"Uwaaaaaa!"

"Hubba hooba heeba!"

"Bukuku―hic! Bukuku―hic!"

"Sniffsniffsniffsniffsniif-huuuuufffff―(I'm not crying, I'm just sweating through my eyes!)"

"Oh, put a sock in it!" Queen Lyra propped her cheekbone up by one hand using her throne's padded armrest. "I'm tired of listening to your awful cry onomatopoeias! You lot are supposed to be deadly warriors, not a bunch of wimpy babies! For crying out loud―literally!"

"I have an owie!" Cassie swiped her eyes, only to have the moisture on her cheeks be instantly replenished by more tears. "Right here!" She tapped on her chest cavity with a sniffle.

"We were supposed to be a pair of star-crossed lovers…"

"I already had the first million names picked out for our children…"

"What if it takes another twenty years before the next man shows up on Yandaray?"

"I don't want to be an old lady by the time I get married!"

"Me neither!"

The Queen rubbed her temples. "Huh? What's all this nonsense about getting married? What are you talking about? We haven't had a man visit this planet in decades!"

There was a brief moment of collective silence, then the wailing continued.

"Waaaaah!" x6

A castle maid whispered in the Queen's ear to give her memory a quick jostle. "Oh, so the human boy escaped right before being wedded to my daughters?" She bolted upright. "This is outrageous! Come, girls! We are proud Yandarians! For treating my daughters this way, I decree that I will be personally taking my warship and I will follow this Earthling to the end of the galaxy and back! I will hunt him all the way to his planet if I have to, laying waste to all that I see, until he apologizes and gives my daughters the marriages they deserve!"

The six sisters sniffled in unison. "Really?"

"Come, girls, follow me! To the ship!"

Five minutes later, they were all buckled in as the giant warship prepared to take off.

"Three… Two… One… Liftoff!"

Just when the countdown ended, the Alzheimer's-stricken Queen looked at her control panels in confusion, not sure where to direct the ship. "Where are we going again?"

"The Ursa Majoris formation," Phineas hummed, swiping at a holographic display. "We're almost home, Isabella." He gently caressed the back of her hand with his thumb as she lay resting. The ship's medical bay had been working on her for a few hours, and her injuries were almost fully healed.

At that moment, the bay's sliding doors opened, and Gulliver walked in. "Ah, there you two are," he said. "What is going on? SAM tells me we had a short rendezvous on Planet Yandaray and I fell into my hibernative state."

Phineas felt his spine shiver. "Y-Y-Yandaray? No, I don't want to go back, anything but that…"

"Hmm." Gulliver watched Phineas, who was staring blankly at the far wall, muttering to himself. "It looks like his encounter with the Yandarians left him a bit traumatized. There there, Phineas, it's going to be okay. There are no Yandarians here." He massaged Phineas' shoulders a bit, feeling the tension go away. "Here, have some chocolate, it'll help."

Phineas accepted the wrapper. "Ew, how long has this been in your pocket? It's all melted and gooey!"

"..."

There was some movement from the cot as Isabella stirred, scrunching her forehead.

"Isabella! Welcome back!" Phineas stood and leaned over her, already over his short panic attack.

"Ph-Phineas?" she whispered.

"Morning, sleepyhead! How do you feel?"

Isabella sat up and rubbed her eyes. "Pretty good, I think. Wait, are we back on the ship?"

Phineas nodded. "We managed to escape from Ya―from Ya―from that place. We're currently hurtling through the Ursa Majoris formation. We're almost home!"

"Really? I'm glad!" She looked up and saw Gulliver, who was quietly watching them from across the room. "Hey, you!" She swung her legs over the side of the bed and hopped to her feet.

"Whoa, take it slowly at first, Isabella!" warned Phineas.

She disregarded his words, marching straight to the alien. Putting her hands on her hips, she fumed, "Do you have any idea how much trouble I went through because you withdrew into your shell at the first sign of danger instead of activating the thrusters that would have prevented us from crashing on that―that―troublesome planet?"

"I am sorry," Gulliver apologized. "Yandaray is one of the most dangerous places in the entire galaxy if you're a man. Graturnians instinctively revert to a state of hibernation when they encounter life-threatening situations, it's one of the adaptations that grant us our longevity. Why, after that nap, I feel at least ten Standard Galactic Years younger!"

"Well let's see how much younger you feel when I knock you into next week!" Isabella was rolling up her sleeves threateningly.

"Wait, Isabella! You just got out of surgery! Let's all take a deep breath and calm down!"

"We will be arriving at Earth in about forty-five minutes," Phineas declared from the ship's wheel. Isabella was sitting at a monitor, watching the readings, while Gulliver was stationed at a control panel across the room. "Isabella, is there anything on the scanners?"

"My readings are clear!" Isabella smiled. "Soon, we'll be back at home, sweet home! Huh?" Just as she said that, her console beeped. "Check that, scanners are picking up something just ahead. I think it's another ship?"

"Adjusting course," Phineas said, moving aside so they wouldn't collide with the other ship. Everyone's eyes turned to the bridge's window.

They saw a small saucer-shaped spacecraft at their twelve o'clock, rapidly approaching. They were quickly overtaking the ship, and in a blur, they raced past, only getting a brief glimpse of it at close range.

The ship seemed to be drifting with no power. A single astronaut in a spacesuit was holding a wrench in hand and had the ship's front hood flipped up. The spacewalker noticed and watched them zoom past, a dark visor shielding them from seeing the person's face.

"Did you see that?" Phineas asked. "It looked like that ship was having engine problems. Maybe we should go see if they need any help?"

"But we're almost home," Isabella countered.

"I know, but what if they're in trouble?"

"What do you think, Gulliver? Is it safe to help stranded ships like that?"

"Well, this far out in the spiral arm, it may take a few hours for a towing ship to get here, assuming the ship's distress beacon was heard."

"I really think we should stop and ask if they need help," Phineas said, deciding to play the good Samaritan. "Hold on, I'm turning us around."

Two separate cables connected Phineas and Isabella to their ship as they drifted in their spacesuits toward the stranded ship.

"Phineas, I've got a bad feeling about this…"

"What's the matter, Isabella?"

"I don't know. It's just… What if they aren't really having engine troubles? What if it's a trap to mug us? Or if they're a hitchhiking serial killer?"

"And what if they really are just having engine troubles? Let's think rationally about this. The chances of those other things happening are basically nonexistent."

"I know," Isabella said with a sigh. "It's just that after everything that has happened to us in space, I'm getting paranoid."

Phineas paused. "Now you're starting to make me think that might actually happen," he groaned. "Okay, if you're that worried about it, let's turn back."

Just as he said that, the stranger in the spacesuit glanced their way, noticing them as they drifted towards the stranded spaceship. He or she acknowledged them with a quick nod and returned to the ship's hood.

"Aw, shoot, he just saw us," Isabella panicked. "Now it would be awkward if we turned around."

"It's okay, I'm sure everything will turn out just fine," Phineas said. "I'm gonna try broadcasting across more frequencies on my radio transceiver to talk to them. Ehem, hello, can you hear me? Did something happen to your ship?"

The other spacewalker turned from the hood of his ship to watch them float closer. "Huh? Oh, yeah, I don't know what happened, the engines just stopped."

"Here, let me take a look." Phineas used his spacesuit's thrusters to come close enough to lean over and inspect the innards. The stranger in the other spacesuit moved aside for him.

"Isabella, can you hold my flashlight for me? Perfect, just like that." Isabella held the flashlight like so, assisting Phineas while cautiously watching the stranger out of the corner of her eye.

"Aha! I think I see the problem! It looks like a fuse blew in your SV unit. I can have it fixed in a jiffy!" Phineas opened the clamps of a small toolbox he had brought with him and got to work.

"Thanks," the stranger said. Isabella still couldn't see through the tint in their visor, but he seemed to have a masculine voice and build.

"Don't mention it!" Phineas blurted back innocently.

"That's a nice ship you have over there," said the stranger, turning to the one they had commandeered from Captain Jabberwock. "Wait, is that a―pirate ship? Are you guys pirates?"

"No, we actually s―I mean, borrowed it from some pirates," Isabella quickly explained. "We're not pirates! We're just, uh―"

"Hey, it's-ssss cool, dawgs!" The spacewalker waved his hands airily, before she could decide how much of their situation to explain. "Whatever your backgrounds are, it don't matter! No ques-sssstions asked!"

The hissing sound he made reminded Isabella of a snake, sending shivers down her spine. She nudged Phineas to get him to hurry.

"Almost finished―there! That should do the trick!" Phineas turned to the stranger. "Try not to run both the gamma ionizer and the cup warmers at the same time, and that new fuse should at least get you another couple million lightyears."

"Ssss-sounds great!" The spacewalker boosted himself over to the circular door, which popped open, then pulled himself in. They watched through the windshield as he inserted a key and twisted, and with a sputter, the engines flared to life.

"Hey, all right!" The stranger gave them the thumbs up. Phineas and Isabella backed up to give the vehicle some space, and shortly thereafter, the small rocket on its rear lit up with a blue plasma. The stranger and spaceship took off into the dark vastness that surrounded them.

"Well whaddayaknow," Isabella hummed. "Nothing weird happened after all."

"C'mon," Phineas said while grabbing his toolbox. "Let's get back to our ship."

They hadn't gone far in their drift back before the stranger's spaceship zoomed back around, pulling up next to them. Apparently he had just driven around the block, or whatever the equivalent was in space.

"What's he doing back?" Phineas asked, turning and shielding his eyes from the brightness of the rocket jets.

"Works great! Alright you two, follow me!" called the stranger. "We ssss-still have a job to do!"

Phineas and Isabella shared confused looks. "Huh?"

We now return to the Adventures of Sabertoothed Catman and his sidekick, Swallow! When we last saw our heroes, they were travelling through the Ursa Majoris formation, tracking members of the space mafia, the Zyxuga!

"Golly gee, Catman," Swallow said, perched in the passenger seat of the small rocket ship. "We're coming up on the coordinates of the tracker we planted on that mafia thug's ship!"

Sabertoothed Catman, or Catman as the interstellar hero usually went, wore a colorful set of tights garnished by a cotton candy blue cape and an icon of a roaring saber-toothed tiger emblazoned on his chest. A cat-themed mask veiled most of his face. "Great work, Swallow!" purred Catman, steering the wheel to and fro. "With any luck, we'll soon be infiltrating the Zyxuga's hidden lair and putting a stop to their evil plans!"

A diode on the console began flashing, and the equally colorfully costumed sidekick Swallow squinted through his mask to investigate. "The scanner is picking up something in that direction," he pointed.

"I think it's time for another serving," Catman boldly declared. "A serving of justice!"

The Catship sped off into the teeth of danger!

"You mean you still need help with something?" Phineas asked the stranger hesitantly, looking around. "I―uh, we, well, you see…"

Isabella knew he was struggling to say no. Even though they still had space pirates chasing after them and were still lightyears away from home, Phineas always wanted to help people. "We really should be getting along," she explained for him, gently pulling his arm to steer him back in the direction of Captain Jabberwock's ship.

"Look, are you two in or out?" the stranger impatiently said. "Because if you're out, then I'm delivering this baby by mys-ssself."

After an involuntary gasp, Phineas turned to Isabella, looking as if he was the one doing the pleading. "Isabella, he must be a doctor or something! If he needs help delivering a baby, how can we say no?"

Isabella groaned and tried to rub her face with her hand through her spacesuit. Despite their apparent moral quandary, something weird was definitely going on.

"Make up your minds-ssss!" spurred the stranger. "Are you coming or not?"

Phineas was already pulling himself through the hatch of the stranger's small spaceship. "C'mon, Isabella!"

"But what about―" Isabella was going to say 'Gulliver,' but then remembered how he had taken to stalking them. Maybe going their separate ways wasn't such a bad idea.

Phineas reached out his hand, not giving her time to think. "What are you waiting for?" Knowing this was probably a bad idea, she clasped his hand and entered the hatch with a sigh.

Moments later, the ship jumped into hyperspace and vanished.

It was immediately replaced by another ship, one that was uniquely cat-themed.

"Jimminy Crickets, Catman!" Swallow twerped. "That ship looks like it belongs to some space pirates, wouldn't you say?"

Catman stared curiously at the ship they had just come upon. "It looks like we might have to be even more careful on this mission, Swallow. If the Zyxuga is working together with space pirates, we could be in for a whole heap of trouble!"

"What should we do, Catman?"

"Well, Swallow, it just so happens that I thought something like this would occur, so I prepared ourselves some secret identities," Catman explained, stroking his chin. "We'll be going undercover to infiltrate their ranks as new recruits. Now I have already contacted the mafia member we're supposed to meet, and he should be aboard that ship, waiting for us. Quickly, let's get changed from our superhero costumes and get into character as street thugs for hire! Our first job is to help him deliver some illegal drugs to a nearby planet. Now then, I'm going to hail him on the radio. Back when I arranged to meet him, we agreed to use some special code words. He is supposed to ask us to help him 'deliver a baby,' that's the code for delivering the drugs. When that happens, it will mean we have successfully gained his trust and joined the space mafia!"

"As you say, Catman! Let's get changed!"

Guller sat in the ship's bridge humming to himself, waiting for Phineas and Isabella to return. Without warning, the radio transmitter beacon beeped, alerting him to an incoming message. The Graturnian ponderously leaned forward in his chair and hit a switch, sending the feed to the screen in front of him. Were Phineas or Isabella calling him?

"Hello?"

Two individuals appeared on the screen, but they weren't Phineas and Isabella. One of them had messy, shoulder length, cotton candy blue hair, matching cat ears, and wore an eye patch over her left eye. The other's entire body was covered in a layer of matted brown fur, except on his face and the palms of his hands and opposable feet.

The young lady with the cat ears and eye patch cleared her throat. "Yes hello, hi there, meow! My-eow name is Madam East, and this is my partner, Chip Grayson!"

Gulliver's gaze intensified as he peered at the image. "Oh my, you are some interesting aliens! Tell me, are you by chance hybrids? The way your animal-like features have taken on humanoid shapes is fascinating!"

"Well, we're both orphans who grew up on the streets. You migh-owt say we're looking for a job." Madam East winked. "Is anyone on your ship hiring?"

Beep beep beep!"

"Hold that thought," Gulliver said, "there's someone else calling this number." He flipped a second switch. "Hello?"

A certain muscle-bound space pirate appeared on the split-screen, next to Madam East and Chip Grayson. "Well well well, if it isn't my old Graturnian friend," Captain Jabberwock droned. "Tell me, how is my bounty doing? I'm on my way now to pick them up, along with you and the rest of my ship!"

"Aha, it seems they are working together with space pirates!" Madam whispered to Chip, aghast.

"Who are these two?" Captain Jobberwock lifted an eyebrow in the direction of the characters opposite him on the screen.

"As I was just saying, my-eow name is Madam East, and this is my partner, Chip Grayson," Madam again introduced. "We look forward to working together with you all!" She winked again.

"Huh?" Captain Jabberwock wore a confused look.

Beep beep beep!

"We certainly are busy today aren't we?" Gulliver observed, adding in another call. This time, the image of a young, red-headed bombshell joined the screen.

"Phineas, Phineas, are you there? It's Cassie! We tracked your ship, we're here to take you back―eh?" The strawberry haired girl did a double take. "Wait, did I get the right ship? Stella, are you sure you didn't take a wrong turn somewhere? I don't see Phineas here…"

"I'm sure that's the same ship! It's warp drive matches what we scanned on Yandaray perfectly!" Stella's voice rang from the background.

"Oh hi, princess, fancy seeing you lot here!" Captain Jabberwock turned his false smile into a look of annoyance. "The boy and girl are my bounty, so butt out!"

Cassie visibly bristled on the screen. "Excuse me? Phineas is my fiancé, so you butt out!"

"OUR fiancé!" several voices reminded her from the back.

"Sorry, our fiancé!"

"Well then you are just going to have to lengthen your engagement for a while until after I deliver the boy and his girliefriend to the Shipper!"

"How about I lengthen your neck until it rips off from your shoulders?!"

"Pardon me-ow for interrupting, but may I ask which one of you is on your way to deliver the baby?"

Both Cassie and the Captain were taken by surprise at that. After a pregnant pause, Cassie asked the Captain, "Is she with you?"

"I thought she was with you?"

Gulliver stepped in. "I may not know anything about a baby, but Phineas is out for a spacewalk at the moment. However, he―" He double checked the control panel. Only then did Gulliver notice Phineas and Isabella had taken off without him.

"My research subjects!" he panicked, jumping up from his seat to fire up the engines.

"Don't tell me you split up again?" Captain Jabberwock groaned and massaged his forehead.

"I didn't know about this until just now! I have to follow them, to see what happens after human relationships progress beyond the kissing stage!"

"Hey wait, don't hang up―!"

The screen went dark as Gulliver reached for the steering wheel and blasted off into space.

"After him!" Captain Jabberwock ordered, and Andromeda obediently floored it on their rental ship's thrusters.

"Don't let that ship get away!" Cassie declared to her sisters on the Yandarian warship, not far away in another region of space.

"This 'Phineas' must be one of the Zyxuga bosses," Madam, the covertly disguised Catman, instructed Chip. "If we follow that ship, it looks like we'll be led right to him!" With that, the cat-themed ship shot itself into hyperspace as well.

Phineas and Isabella settled themselves down in the passenger seats of the small spaceship. At last, the driver reached up and twisted the tinted helmet of his spacesuit, releasing a small blast of air, and removed the bowl.

He had a triangular head (though nowhere near as triangular as Phineas') and green, scaly skin, with yellow slits for eyes and a pitted nose, reminiscent of a python's head. One of his stubby ears had a gold earring. Judging by the rest of the spacesuit he filled, his body was humanoid shaped, albeit somewhat slender. Raising a hand boasting long, sharp claws on each finger, he ran it through his slicked back hairdo and took a deep breath. "Ssss-so, new recruits, what are your names?" His forked tongue fluttered in and out everytime he hissed.

Phineas quickly removed his own helmet. "My name is Phineas, and this is my girlfriend, Isabella."

Isabella was still very unsure about all this, but she did the courtesy of removing her helmet as well. "So how long do you think this is going to take?" she said with narrowed eyes, getting straight to the point.

"Ssss-straight to the point, I like it! The deal is going down on Gleith, we're practically in the neighborhood already. You can call me Diamondback, by the way."

"And how long have you been a doctor for, Diamondback?" asked Phineas.

Diamondback roared with laughter. "Wahahahaha! A 'doctor?!' I haven't heard it called that before, but it's true that I have been in the bussss-iness a while."

"Well," Phineas said, "Isabella and I have never done this before, so we'll follow your lead and help out any way we can."

"Don't worry, there's nothin' to it," Diamondback exclaimed. "It's a piece of cake. This part of the spiral arm is far enough away from the Galactic Hub authorities that we won't have any 'interruptions-ssss.'"

"I see, I think," Phineas said, pondering. "So what you're saying is that the location is very remote, so you were sent out to make the delivery instead of having them come in?"

"Ssss-sure, that's one way of putting it. And hey, if this goes well, there'll be a spot on the crew for the both of you, if you want."

"Really? That sounds awesome!" Initially exuberant, Phineas' tone tempered when he glanced at Isabella to share a knowing look. "But as cool as it sounds to help you with your job, we need to get back home. We have been gone a long time."

"Are you sure? You know how to fix things, that alone could get you far. We could use people with ssss-skills like yours in our crew."

Phineas nodded. "We're sure. Maybe some other time."

ARRIVAL: PLANET GLEITH

Through the ship's window, Isabella took in the mountainous terrain of the planet whose airspace they had just entered. Sharp peaks and deadly scarps dominated the landscape. The foothills and saddles were blanketed in a vast forest of green conifers that seemingly went on and on forever. It looked like they were flying over the Yukon on Earth.

The spell broke, and suddenly they were hurtling over a dingy cityscape choking in smog. Dirty, dilapidated brick buildings and smokestacks lined the landscape for as far as the eye could see. Isabella reeled at the sudden inversion.

"What's-ssss the matter, ain't you ever seen a photonic barrier before?" Diamondback, having noticed her reaction, pointed back the way they had come. Sure enough, a green-tinted barrier of apparently solid light stretched from the ground up high into the sky, from horizon to horizon, completely separating the two contrasting biomes. "It keeps the pollution from contaminating the forests."

The vehicle slowed as Diamondback angled it toward a large parking lot up ahead. For a spaceship parking lot, it wasn't exactly crowded with lifeforms, but there were plenty of colorful aliens of all shapes and sizes moving along this way and that. Rows of spaceships, ranging from small to large, spanned in all directions, making it tough to find a spot. Luckily, this ship was small, so it didn't need much room, and Diamondback found a slot to squeeze into.

Once they were settled, the door opened automatically, and Isabella stepped out alongside Phineas and Diamondback. The smoky air was heavy with thick, sooty particulates small enough to remain suspended indefinitely, masking a slight rotting scent which lingered everywhere. Isabella instantly disliked it.

"Pee-yoo! Whose idea was it to use those photonic barriers to concentrate all this pollution in the city?" she asked, raising her shirt collar to filter her breath. "You said this won't take long, right?"

Diamondback nodded. "The client should be here soon, if she isn't here already. Li-ssssten, I need to return some books to the library real quick. I'll be right back." The reptilian alien snatched a plastic bag from the trunk and casually slung it over his shoulder. "If the client gets here before I get back, the drugs are right here." He pointed at a small white container before turning on his heels and walking off.

Isabella's eyes met Phineas'. "So what do we do now?"

"No idea," Phineas responded. "Ferb and I have never delivered a baby before. I don't know the first thing about it. And I don't say that about many things."

"I guess he meant these are painkillers for the mother," Isabella said thoughtfully, feeling the box's weight. It was fairly light. She glanced around. "Although, if she's in labor, she wouldn't be able to walk all the way out here, would she?"

In answer to her own question, a winged alien with crimson colored feathers appeared from overhead to alight right next to them. She had powerful legs sporting dangerous looking talons, a white and ruby down-feathered torso, and a head of long, windblown hair. Yet for all her avian qualities, her face was remarkably humanlike, having eyes, a nose, and a mouth, albeit with sharp, pointy teeth. If Isabella didn't know better, she would have called this alien she was looking at a harpy.

The space harpy pulled out a notecard, looking uncertain. "Um, excuse me, I'm looking for someone named Diamondback?"

Phineas snapped to attention. "Yes, we're his assistants for the day! I'm Phineas, and this is Isabella."

The harpy wrapped her arms―or rather, her wings around her stomach. "Ungh," she groaned, making a long face, "it's coming."

The alien slouching before them had as toned and flat a stomach as any Isabella had seen. Was this really their patient? She didn't seem pregnant―but maybe that was how her alien physiology worked? It was possible. Suddenly Isabella started to get nervous.

Likewise, Phineas' eyes expanded to twice their size as he broke into a sweat. "Oh no, it's happening here? What do we do? What do we do?" He looked around frantically. "Isabella, I-I'm drawing a blank on this one! Can you help?"

"Okay, okay," Isabella replied, taking deep breaths. "Let's just calm down for a second. Um, okay, Diamondback probably has everything we need here in his trunk."

"A-ha, good thinking!" agreed Phineas.

She ruffled through the junk strewn about and found a couple of blankets. "Alright, here, let's set you down here, ma'am, to get you comfortable," she said, spreading one out on the ground. Their patient took a seat, still clutching her stomach.

"What else do we need?" Phineas asked, eager to help.

"Um," Isabella thought frantically. "How about a clean rag and a bucket of water?"

"A clean rag and a bucket of water," echoed Phineas, searching the trunk. "A clean rag and a bucket of water…" He slammed his fist on the bumper. "I don't see any here!"

"Gaaaahhh!" cried out the patient, clearly in pain.

"Don't worry, ma'am!" Phineas declared, turning around. "I'll keep looking! Just, whew! Take deep breaths! Whew! Whew!" He blew in and out. "Focus on your breathing! Huh-whew! Huh-whew!" The harpy tried to breathe in sync with him. "Good! Keep breathing! Isabella, I'll be right back!" He dashed off in search of the sought after items.

Isabella quickly draped a second blanket over the lower half of the expecting mother. "Okay, we're gonna make it through this, Diamondback will return soon, and then you'll be in good care, okay ma'am?"

The patient nodded through scrunched up eyelids. "Sorry, these cramps are getting―really bad..."

Isabella grabbed her by her clawed hand, doing her best not to stare at the exquisite plumage of the wings her hand was connected to. "It'll pass, just hold on for a little longer."

Finally, after a few moments, the pain in the harpy's face began to diminish.

"Feeling better?"

"Yeah," said the patient.

Just then, Phineas returned with a white towel. "I borrowed this from some aliens a few ships down, but haven't found a bucket of water yet." He set the towel down nearby and dashed back off.

Returning her attention to the patient, Isabella asked, "What is your name?"

"Roxanne," she breathed.

"Roxanne," Isabella repeated, committing it to memory. "You have really pretty feathers."

Roxanne blushed, glancing down at her wings. "You think so?"

Isabella nodded. "Can I feel them?"

Looking aside pointedly, Roxanne held up her wing. Isabella gently stroked it with one hand. "They're so soft!"

"Eep!" Roxanne trembled and shook visibly at the touch. "Be gentle! They're sensitive!"

Isabella retracted her hand. "Sorry," she offered.

Footsteps were approaching. Isabella looked up, hoping it was Diamondback, but it was once again Phineas―and he was bringing some strange creature with him.

"I told some aliens over there we needed water, and they let me borrow this," he said, indicating toward the alien. "They said it was a―blasting tortoise, or something―it stores water in its shell and can blast the water out of cannons on its back!"

Indeed, the creature looked rather turtle-like with its scaly blue skin and tail. Standing on its hind legs, it was about as tall as an adult. The alien yawned and lazily cast its shell-covered body on the ground to lounge about on its side, propping up its head up on an elbow.

"That's great, Phineas," Isabella chided, "but it doesn't do us any good without a bucket!"

"I know! I'll keep looking."

Roxanne suddenly doubled over in pain again, clutching her stomach and grimacing.

"Hang in there, Roxanne!" Isabella said, unable to do much else.

"What's her condition?" Phineas asked, freezing in place rather than heading off to search once more. "Is she going into labor? Has her water broken? Is she having contractions?" He sounded more frantic with each and every sentence.

"I don't know, Phineas!"

"Well, what do we do, Isabella? This is outside of my field of expertise! Haven't you, you know, like, earned a midwifery patch as a Fireside Girl, or something?"

"No! There's no such thing! You can't just make up Fireside Girl patch names and expect me to have earned them!"

"Oh man, this is bad, this is real bad!" Phineas was tugging at his locks of red hair while pacing out a small circle.

"Just calm down, Phineas!" Isabella had to shout to get him to listen. "It's not the end of the world, it's just a baby!"

"It's just a baby, it's just a baby," he echoed, continuing to pace and looking more on the edge than ever.

"Bucket, remember?"

"Oh, right!" He took off at a sprint.

Isabella didn't have time to worry about Phineas' onsetting panic as she turned to Roxanne. "Here, let me get you into the birthing position, that might make you more comfortable," she said, helping her readjust the angle of her hips. "There. And if anything starts moving, let me know right away, okay?"

Roxanne's face merely twisted in pain. "I―" was all she uttered.

"Don't force yourself," Isabella cautioned. "Just keep focusing on your breathing. In and out. In and out."

They breathed together, and Isabella was starting to feel a modicum of control.

Footsteps again. Phineas had bolted back, pausing only a moment to catch his breath.

"It's not quite a bucket," he said, "but we're in a pinch, and time is of the essence, so…" He held up his hand to reveal the object he was carrying.

Isabella deadpanned.

It was a coffee mug with the words "Galaxy's Best Dad" written across it in large, friendly letters.

Doing her best to keep her voice steady, Isabella quietly said, "Phineas, that's―"

"I know, I know, but technically, it is a bucket of sorts, right? It's just a really small one! It was the best I could find!"

She sighed audibly.

Roxanne cried out in the background.

"Hold on!" Phineas told the patient, jumping to action. "I'll draw some water from the blasting tortoise! Here big guy," he said, turning to approach the water monster, "can you fill this up with some water for us?"

The alien yawned and looked pointedly away, pretending to ignore him.

"Please? Pretty please, with a cherry on top?"

It opened one eye to look sidelong at him, as if asking nicely worked slightly better. Apparently deciding to give in, the turtle rolled over onto all fours to stretch first.

"Good boy!" Phineas said, talking to it like it was a pet. He held out the mug to present a clear target for the cannons on the creature's shoulders.

However, the mounted turret suddenly sucked itself back in under the shell. Before anyone could react, the blasting tortoise lifted its leg, and the cannon reappeared, pointing menacingly at the group from between its legs.

Just now realizing what was about to happen, all life drained from Phineas' and Isabella's eyes. The water spewed forth in a huge torrent, drenching them and the expecting harpy until they were all soaked to the bone.

Having done its job, the blasting tortoise retracted its turret, stood with a yawn, and lumbered off to go find its owner, leaving Phineas and Isabella watching with empty stares.

Phineas finally broke the silence with a sniff. "It smells like it was just water. Th-th-th-that wasn't pee." The look on his face said he was still traumatized all the same.

Incapable of emotionally processing what just happened, Isabella merely uttered a monotone, "Can you hand me that towel, please?" Phineas blankly did so, and Isabella expressionlessly dabbed to dry her face with it.

Behind them, Roxanne groaned. "Great, now I won't be able to fly until my wings dry out."

"Should you be flying at all while you're, you know," Isabella asked, wringing out her curtains of hair.

"Buzzed?" Roxanne stood and stretched, allowing the blanket that was draped across her abdomen to fall to the ground. "Probably not. So, can I get my drugs now? My cramps finally went away."

Isabella thought she had misheard. "Oh, are you talking about the painkillers?"

Roxanne stifled a laugh as she extracted a small purse from her person. "Haha, what? We both know this stuff is a lot stronger than that. Here, two thousand marks, tell Diamondback I'll pay the rest next week." She produced thick wads of foreign paper bills.

Both totally confused, Isabella and Phineas shared a "Huh?"

When they didn't immediately take it, Roxanne continued, "Look, I know it's a few hundred short, but he can add it to my tab. I'm a regular, he knows me and that I'll get him the money, I just need a few more days is all."

"Oy oy, what's-ssss this-ssss?" A hissing noise from behind them marked the return of Diamondback, who approached from around his small spaceship. "Are you trying to short-change me, ya feathery flake?"

Roxanne flinched visibly at the sight of him. "Eh? No, it's not what it looks like!" She flapped her wings in denial. "I wasn't trying to take advantage of your new recruits, I would never do that!"

"You kids ssss-still have the drugs?" Diamondback asked Isabella, before checking that the container was still in the trunk. "Excellent work! In this job, clients will frequently try to rip you off, like she just did. But you held firm and stuck to the price! You two really do seem to have a knack for this! If you want in, you've got it! You've earned your spots in the mafia!"

Isabella had been stunned beyond words for the entire proceedings, as had Phineas. Finally, he found his voice. "Hold up, I'm feeling a little lost here. What mafia? I thought we were here to help you deliver a baby?"

"That's-ssss the baby, right there," Diamondback pointed at the box. "The drugs we're delivering."

"I thought you said you were a doctor?"

"I mean, I'm jus-sssst the dealer. If anything, it's the growers who're the 'doctors.'"

Phineas went slack-jawed as he processed that new information. Isabella cleared her throat. "I―think there has been a slight misunderstanding here."

Just then, a cat-themed spaceship zoomed in close overhead, rocking them all with a stiff breeze. "Halt, evildoers!" a voice commanded over megaphone loudspeakers. "Your wicked deeds shall henceforth come to an end! In the name of justice, surrender, for I am CATMAN!"

The loudspeakers began playing some theme song or other.

Nya-nya-nya-nya-nya-nya-nya-nya,
Nya-nya-nya-nya-nya-nya-nya-nya,
Catman!

The crime fighting superhero Catman and his sidekick Swallow repelled down two leads of rope in their colorful costumes, swooping to the ground so they were within range to attack.

"Curses, it's Catman!" Diamondback bared his fangs. "How'd you find us-ssss?"

"I tagged your ship using my Cat-tracker!" Catman held up a small device which showed their icons clustered together on its screen. "Which, now that I say it out loud, I realize is a misnomer. That name makes it sound like it tracks the location of cats. That's misleading. It actually tracks anything I tag it with. Not cats, necessarily―although I suppose it could track them."

"Yeah, I get the concept," Diamondback retorted flatly.

Catman reached for his utility belt, extracting a pair of handcuffs and twirling them around his finger. "You're all under arrest for distribution of illegal drugs. I recommend you come quietly."

Diamondback took up a defensive stance. "Phineas, Isabella, take the drugs and get out of here! I'll hold Catman off!"

"Um…" Phineas balked, unsure what to do.

"Oh, you're approaching me?" purred Catman as Diamondback stepped forward, raising his fists.

"I'll get a fat bonus from the boss if I take down the Catman!" Diamondback shadowboxed a few punches, warming up.

"Then by all means, come at me!" Catman licked his chops. "And let justice take its course!"

They charged each other, meeting in the middle where the combatants grappled for dominance.

"Wait, there's been a mistake, this isn't worth getting violent over!" Phineas tried to say, but was cut off by a woman cackling.

"Ahahaha! Later, Dimey!" Roxanne shouted over her shoulder, scuttling off by foot with the white carton tucked beneath her wing.

"You're not getting away that easily!" cried Swallow, who quickly extracted a corded birdarang and expertly tossed it her way, wrapping her up by the ankles before she had gotten very far. Her momentum caused her to fall flat on her face, and the white box tumbled out of her grasp. She reached for it, but Swallow was already reeling her in, dragging her further away.

"No!" she shrieked. Her sharp talons dug trails into the ground as she tried to resist being pulled back.

Diamondback and Catman grunted in their exertion to each gain the upper hand. "Hhhhrrrrgggg! I didn't expect you to be this strong!" Catman huffed.

"Then let's see how you like this!" Diamondback broke free and spun around to follow up with a flying kick. Catman tried to sidestep to avoid the attack, but dodged in the wrong direction. The kick landed with a thud.

"OOF!"

Wasting no time, Diamondback lunged forward with a jab. Catman raised his arms to block, but brought them up too high, and took the full force of the blow to the chest.

"GAH!"

Did I see that right? thought Isabella to herself. She had some martial arts training, and something felt off. It almost looked like Catman let himself get hit!

"Hang in there, Catman!" chirped Swallow, too preoccupied with Roxanne to be of any other help.

Diamondback drew back and sneered at having won the first round. Catman slowly lowered his fists, dramatically revealing his face. "Don't worry about me, Swallow!" he said, slightly wincing, yet smiling conspicuously widely all the same. "This is going all according to plan! No, this is going even better! This ruffian is much stronger than I anticipated!"

A voracious look filled the crime fighter's eyes, making him look unexpectedly depraved as he broke into a fit of giggles. Diamondback took an uncertain step back, seeming to have noticed it too.

"You―you ready for ssss-some more of that?" the reptilian hissed to hide his surprise.

"Yes…" Catman threw his arms out as if to embrace the moment, his face starting to flush red. "Yes! Please, punish me some more! Hah! That felt wonderful! Ooh, I will endure all the pain you inflict on me! I must, for I am a hero, and no matter how much you batter my body, I will never submit to your villainy! Hah!" He broke into a heavy pant mid diatribe. "I will use my body if I must to protect the innocent from your evil ways!"

"...Huh?" Diamondback was clearly taken aback. Isabella felt more than a little creeped out as well.

"Anyway," Diamondback said to recover his composure, "I think it's time I used my ultimate technique!" He flashed a toothy grin, showing off his fangs. "My venom contains a paralyzing toxin. One bite is all it will take to―oof!"

He was cut off by a sucker punch to the mouth.

"Ow! You mabe me bithe my thongue!" Diamondback whimpered angrily, hanging his tongue out of his mouth to soothe it.

"I think you bit my hand when I punched you!" retorted Catman, inspecting his fist.

"Whoth faulth ith that?"

"Ah, I think I can feel your venom already coursing through my veins!" Catman cried, reactively clutching his arm. "Yes, I am certain I feel a strange tingling sensation! What will I do if I become paralyzed?"

"Ah, my thongue is going numb thoo!" Diamondback rubbed his jaw vigorously.

"Catman, are you alright?" tweeted Swallow. "Why did you punch him in the mouth when you knew his fangs were venomous?"

"Swallow, don't worry about it. If things take a turn for the worse, I want you to leave me behind! It'll be up to you to protect the galaxy!"

"It's going to be okay, Catman! You're wearing your thick leather combat gloves, his bite probably didn't break the skin!"

Catman suddenly wore a flat look. "O-oh, right."

"Why do you sound so disappointed?"

With the others preoccupied by the scuffle, Isabella curiously walked over and picked up the white drug box. Unbuckling the latches, she lifted the lid, and the already strange situation she was in became even more perplexing.

The box contained three yellow fruits, each having small knobs on both ends.

Lemons.

She scooped them out with one hand. "These are the drugs?" she asked nobody in particular, furrowing her brow.

"Gimme, gimme! Must have!" Roxanne cried out with her wings outstretched, her face on the verge of tears as she pleaded for the lemons. Swallow pulled her in another length.

"Thake them and go!" Diamondback shouted over his shoulder. "Juth go! The boss'll be furiouth if thothe drugs get confithcated!"

"But―these are just lemons!" Isabella's brain had reached its limit of absurdity. "Just! Lemons!" Her temper momentarily got the better of her, and she hurled them straight at the ground.

Splat!

She didn't realize her mouth was open, a result of the way she was angrily baring her teeth. A couple tiny drops of lemon juice splashed up and passed between her lips, entering her mouth.

Suddenly, the world around her warped and twisted, like the very fabrics of her dimension were being rolled up and shaken out. She was light as a feather. No, lighter. All the colors dazzled and dizzled in a frizzle about her.

She was taken away, somewhere far away, into a place she was very familiar with: Phineasland.

They were alone in Isabella's bedroom with no context. It was like a lucid dream, with Isabella feeling totally aware and in control of herself. Phineas was sitting on her bed opposite her, and without warning, he pushed her on her back to kiss her without restraint. When their lips parted, Phineas leaned in close to whisper in her ear. "I love you, Isabella. I love you. I love you." Her skin got goosebumps as his lips brushed her neck ever so softly.

Isabella's body was hot. Phineas straddled her hips and pulled off his shirt in the sexiest way possible before locking eyes with her. "Shall we?"

She clenched her eyes shut and turned away. This was wrong! They shouldn't be doing this! And yet…

And yet…

She did want to know what it was like.

No! They weren't ready to take that step in their relationship yet!

Well, maybe that wasn't entirely true. Isabella knew she loved Phineas with everything she had from the time they were kids. Maybe it was okay if they tried it. Her knees squirmed.

A soft moan escaped her as the mounting curiosity built up in her chest. They could just stop at any time if she decided she didn't want to.

Finally she opened her eyes and pulled Phineas in closer, parting her lips, extending her tongue...

With a snap, she opened her eyes back to reality and had to catch her breath. What the heck was that? The high of the lemon hadn't lasted long, her dose was too small. Yet those few seconds had been the most vivid, sensual vision of Phineasland she had ever experienced. It was so much more than just a fantasy in her mind's eye that time. It was real. It was realer than real. And it felt so good. Now, as the tingly feeling began leaving her body like water dripping out of her cupped hands, she just felt empty, vacant, unfulfilled. Wait, we were just getting to the good part! I want more!

She needed to see what would happen next. Life was never going to be the same now, it could never be the same, not without another lemon!

"Isabella, are you okay?" Phineas asked with a look of concern, standing there at her side yet seeming so far away.

Ignoring him, she crouched down on her hands and knees, desperate for more juice. So desperate she would lick it off the ground if she had to.

"Whoa, Isabella, stop! You're acting really strange!" Something wrapped itself around her body before she could reach the lemons. She snarled viciously back at―Phineas? He was pulling her back by the elbows to constrain her, but had recoiled when she hissed at him.

He looked stunned at her reaction. Hurt, even. Only then did Isabella realize what she was doing. How she must seem.

She felt sick.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to do that," she said hoarsely, turning to face away from him to hide her shame.

So that was why those lemons were considered dangerous, illegal drugs. The dopamine hit her brain just experienced was beyond exquisite. Just a few tiny drops and some brief hallucinations and she was already addicted. Embarrassed and humiliated by what she had done, she took off in a sprint, needing to put some distance between herself and Phineas.

"Hey, you!" Swallow, who had just finished tying up Roxanne, shouted after her. "You're gonna have to answer for this too, you know!" He jumped up to chase after her―

And slipped in the wet spot left by the smashed lemons, crashing to the ground.

It looked comical to each of the stunned observers at first, until Swallow didn't get up. Then they noticed the pool of blood that was growing around his head.

"Swallow, no!" Catman suddenly dropped the masochist act to rush to his sidekick's side. "Swallow!"

Roxanne, realizing this was her chance, untangled herself from the cords she had been bound with, and ran off in another direction.

Diamondback was likewise being ignored by the caped crusader now. He silently approached from behind and brought down a heavy fist, knocking Catman out.

"Hehe," he grinned, "for a thuperhero, you aren't tho tough!" Turning to his ship, he glanced at Phineas. "Well, thith deal wath a bust. Whath are you gonna do, boy?"

Phineas didn't answer. He wanted to chase down Isabella―if they got separated on an alien planet, they might never find each other again―but he couldn't leave these two injured crime fighters without help.

"I'm gonna call an ambulance," he said.

"In that case, I'm gone." With that, Diamondback climbed into his spaceship and lifted off, disappearing in the distant sky.

Paramedics arrived on the scene quite quickly as there were bystanders and witnesses who had already called for emergency services, and it didn't take long for them to stabilize Catman's and Swallow's injuries.

The boy was also safe. He didn't know about the girl.

Not that any of those things concerned Diamondback as he returned to his apartment, located in a more expensive part of the population district on Gleith. It was high-class only because of his mafia connections and the profits he had gleaned along the way. He locked the door behind him as he entered and plopped down on the couch, consumed by only one worry.

His boss was gonna kill him.

Returning with no money and no drugs was basically a death sentence. Diamondback had hoped this day would never come, but right on time―

Ring, ring.

He answered the communicator, expecting the worst.

"Hey boss-ssss. Listen, I didn't get the money. Catman showed up, and the rookies didn't pan out either. And the drugs―they got destroyed in the skirmish."

An intimidating silence emitted from his boss' image. "I am sending two of my associates down there. Do whatever they say, and you might live to see another day."

Diamondback gulped as the feed died out.

He stood up and began pacing nervously. He could make a break for it, but he knew as well as anyone the mafia didn't take kindly to deserters. He'd even run down a few himself, so he knew his chances weren't good. Plus, the boss lived just a few floors up, so his associates would be arriving any second. He was just going to have to hope that the boss would be in a merciful mood today.

There was a knock at the door, and Diamondback broke out into a cold sweat. Bracing himself, he reached for the doorknob and swung the door open.

Two fierce looking bug-type aliens with massive bodies were standing there. Their bulbous eyes glowed in a spectrum of colors, and they had surgeon's masks over their mouths, held in place by huge pincers that could rip his flesh off. Diamondback's knees went weak at their terrifying visage.

"A thousand greetings," one of them spoke. "I am Brother Abaddon, and this is my companion, Brother Syntyche. We're representatives from―"

"Yeah, I know who you are," Diamondback interjected, stepping back so they could enter. "Let's-ssss just get this over with."

Pleasantly surprised, the two monstrosities strode into his apartment on their dozens of sets of legs. "Ah, I see you keep your home neat and tidy, that's good," the talkative alien said, looking around. Diamondback hoped his living room wasn't all about to be covered in his blood.

The boss' men took their places on Diamondback's only sofa, leaving him to stand across the room to face them. "So we have a message for you," the bigger one began.

"Look," Diamondback said, raising his hands, "jus-sssst give it to me straight. What do you want me to do?"

"Somebody's eager, aren't you?" The boss's agent said, reaching into his pocket.

Diamondback anticipated the movement and cowered back, whimpering in the corner of the room.

"Whoa there buddy, you alright?"

Diamondback looked up. "Eh?"

The boss's men seemed shocked by his reaction.

"You seem upset by something."

"Well of cours-sssse I'm upset," Diamondback hesitantly responded. "I mes-ssssed up, so I know he's sent you to do something terrible to me!" He pointed in the direction of the boss's joint upstairs.

The two agents looked at each other, almost knowingly. "Oh! He did send us!" The talkative one rose to his feet and also pointed a finger heavenward, nodding. "But all we're here for is to teach you a lesson."

"Oh yeah?" started Diamondback, starting to hope his life might be spared after all. "Fine, then. I'm ready."

"Well, before we begin, we'd like to hear you pray."

"Ah!" A slight scream escaped from his lips as he recoiled yet again.

"Whoa whoa, what's the matter?" the boss' henchman said, reaching out to him.

"I knew it!" Diamondback whimpered. "I knew it, I'm dead! I'm dead I'm dead!" It was unfortunate he had a natural resistance to his own venom, preventing him from just ending it all the quick and easy way.

"No, you're not! You see, it doesn't matter what you've done! He can be very forgiving!"

Diamondback looked up. That was reassuring. "Really?" he asked, on the verge of tears. "Well then here, just take this! It's all I've got!" He jumped up at the prospect of his salvation and began forking over all the bills he was carrying, insufficient though he knew they were.

"Uh," the aliens said, queasily looking at the money.

"We don't want your money," the second one finally said, speaking for the first time. "That isn't what He asks of us."

"Then what does he want?" Diamondback asked.

"He wants your heart," said the alien gently, tapping his chest.

"AGGGGHHHH!" Diamondback collapsed in a heap again, inconsolable.

After both giving him pitying looks, the two aliens said, "Look, this doesn't seem like a good time for you, maybe we should come back later? You know, to, uh, let you get your affairs in order?"

A heaving, sniveling mess, Diamondback nodded from his corner.

Just then, there was a banging of heavy footsteps from the hallway outside the front door. It suddenly slammed open.

"Okay, Diamondback, are you ready for the beating of a lifeti―whoa!"

Two muscular thug types halted mid knuckle-crack when they saw Diamondback cowering in the corner, two Euryptigan missionaries in facemasks towering over him.

"A thousand greetings," Brother Abaddon greeted, "care for a pamphlet on the basics of Kandake?" He reached into his pocket.

"Er, um," the first thug stuttered, holding up his hands, "s-s-uh, w-whatever's going on here, we don't want no part a' it, do we?" They backpedalled out of the apartment. "Diamondback, you're square with the boss, it's all good, okay? We saw nothing here!" They shut the door.

The room went quiet. Diamondback stared at the back of his door, flabbergasted.

Brother Abaddon broke the silence. "Oh, by the way, we're looking for something called the Analog, it looks like this." He held up a holographic image. "Know anything about it?"

Diamondback fainted on the spot.

In Praise of Romance II―Chapter 9: Many Relationships Often Go Through Silly Misunderstandings

Preview

"Mr. Chip Grayson, you've finally awoken? Do not be alarmed. I am your nurse for this evening."

"Where am I?"

"You are in the hospital after taking a spill and receiving a nasty head injury. Now I am just going to do a few short tests to see how extensive your brain damage is. First off, how many fingers am I holding up?"

"Four."

"Very good. Now, the next test will check your depth perception. Please raise your right hand and touch this clipboard. Mr. Grayson, I said touch the clipboard. Those are my breasts."

"You have a real nice rack, lady! So big and soft and―ow! That slap hurt!"

"That is what you get for sexually harassing me."

"Hey, I might have brain damage you said, so don't go around hitting me like that! Now let me squeeze that cute little a** to compensate―ouch! Hey, you're writing something, what're you writing down?"

"Patient―either―has―extensive―brain―damage,―or―is―simply―a―jerk."

Next time on Lovetopia: When Life Gives You Lemons, Don't Write A Fanfiction With Them!

Fan's Notes: Character Bios

Diamondback
Homeworld: Cretaceon
Species: Pitted Orvlorian (Male)
Ht: 5'10"/1.77 m. Wt: 138 lbs./62.6 kg. Age: 81 Centrohelios/26 Earth years. Eye color: Purple.
A lemon-dealer for the Zyxuga, aka the space mafia. The venom in his fangs contains a paralyzing toxin that can be lethal in large doses. Likes comic books and martial arts.

Sabertoothed Catman/Madam East (alias)
Homeworld: Desralaur
Species: Felis Sapiens (Female)
Ht: 5'9"/1.75 m. Wt: 158 lbs./71.7 kg. Age: 21 Desralaurian years/29 Earth years. Eye color: Blue. Archnemesis: The Jester
Wealthy Desralaurian aristocrat who secretly performs vigilante work in the crime-ridden spiral arms of the Milky Way as a costumed male superhero. Likes justice (and whips and handcuffs).

Swallow/Chip Grayson (alias)
Homeworld: Kiya (Desralaur's moon) (place of birth, currently resides on Desralaur)
Species: Pannoapsid (Male)
Ht: 5'3"/1.6 m. Wt: 96 lbs./43.5 kg. Age: 8.6 Desralaurian years/12 Earth years. Eye color: Olive. Catchphrase: "You're gonna swallow your crimes!"
An orphan adopted by Catman after helping Catman solve his parents' murders, becoming her sidekick. Is very well mannered, considering his dark past? Likes piloting aircraft and caramel sundaes.