I'm so sorry this Author Note is so long ahhhhh. Skip to the age part if you want.

So, this was inspired by two things. One: a line that got stuck in my head that I couldn't stop repeating. Two: the headcanon that Percy turns evil / dies. I don't think Percy would ever become evil because his fatal flaw is loyalty being a villain requires someone to be the opposite of loyal. But if something horrific did happen to everything Percy held dear or someone he loved (Annabeth, Sally, Paul, etc.) that the gods could have easily prevented from happening… but didn't… well, in that case I can totally see him going off the rails. So that's what this is. A story built on what-ifs.

AGES

This story picks up 5 years after the last Trials of Apollo books. (I only read the first book, so I don't know a whole lot about them and everything I do know my friends told me.) Everyone is around 5 or 6 years older than they were in ToA, though Uncle Rick's timelines are very wacky to start with, so just bear with me on the age thing here.

Annabeth and Rachel: 22

Piper, Frank and Leo: 21

Calypso: 21/22 chronologically (it's mentioned she looks 15/16 in Battle of the Labyrinth and I doubt that changes?); 3000 biologically

Grover: 21 chronologically; 33 biologically

Will: 20

Nico: 20 chronologically; 93 biologically

Hazel: 19

Estelle: 7

My gods, I feel so old after adding all those ages up.

And one more thing you should know. I use lyrics from The Song of The Sea from the movie of the same title as Sally's lullaby to Percy. The original lyrics are: 'Hush now, Mo Stóirín.' However, for the sake of the story, I changed it to 'Hush now, my darling', which is what Mo Stóirín is when translated from Irish Gaelic to English. That was the only part I changed! But please go check Song of the Sea out, it is SUCH a beautiful song and film. I bawled my eyes out when watching!

Also I put like zero effort into writing this, so I am very sorry that it sucks lol.

What happens when you send children into war?

ANNABETH

"Happy birthday Wise Girl!"

"It's not my birthday yet," Annabeth sighed. She ran a hand through her curls as she shifted on her end. "I still have 10 minutes left."

"So?"

"'So?' Are you that eager to make me old?"

Percy grinned his troublemaker grin. Behind him she could see a window, a bed, and by the bed, a Finding Nemo nightlight. The memory of discovering that nightlight lived rent free in her mind. It involved some swearing, two pink cheeks, and a lot of teasing.

"Nahh. I'm just excited to finally celebrate the day you were born. The last time we did this feels like forever ago."

"Yes, well, that's the catch with birthdays. They're sort of annual things."

"9 more minutes!"

"The suspense is killing me," Annabeth drawled.

Percy beamed, green eyes flashing, and bounced in his seat like a little boy. "What're you most excited for?"

"Debt and death."

"C'mon Wise Girl, I'm serious," he whined.

Annabeth rolled her eyes but pondered the question.

Her face lit up. "I'm excited to start college. I can't even believe that's happening. For so long I didn't even let myself dream about surviving to see graduation day. It's kind of surreal."

"I can imagine," he agreed warmly.

"I also want to visit Bobby and Mathew and my father more... even Helen," she grimaced. They were, unfortunately, a packaged deal.

"And see our friends, of course. It'll be nice to visit with them without the fate of the world hanging in the balance."

"And spend lots of time with your dashingly handsome boyfriend, right?" Percy added.

"Of course. I wouldn't have it any other way."

"And you'll let him take you on dates that you don't schedule for once?"

"If I must."

"Yes, you must, because from now it's going to be a permanent requirement." He smirked, knowing she could never resist a good opportunity for a schedule.

Annabeth made a show of exhaling rather dramatically. "Fiiiine."

It didn't miss her attention that his focus flickered to her mouth as she wetted her lips and stayed there for a few moments before he caught himself.

Percy waggled an eyebrow. "I'll hold you to that, ma'am."

"Then it's a deal, sir."

His grin could light up the world. "I love you; you know."

Annabeth shivered with happiness. She didn't know how those three little words could still make her feel so warm and fuzzy inside after so many times of hearing them, but they did, and she hoped she would never tire of hearing or saying them.

"I love you too."

"I can't believe you're turning 18. We've known each other for what, 5 years now?"

"6, I think," Annabeth said, counting all the quests and tears and laughs and deaths and friends and foes they've faced throughout the years.

Percy let out a low whistle. "Holy cow. Who would've thought?"

Annabeth smiled wistfully. "I know. Do you remember what I told you when we first met?"

"How could I forget? 'You drool when you sleep!'" he said in a high-pitched voice.

"You do!" Annabeth laughed.

He shook his head fondly, lost in the past. "I think I knew even then, all those years ago, that I was in love with you — or come to be in love with you."

Annabeth's heart was thumping wilder than a stead of untamed pegasi. By the gods, she loved this boy.

"It's almost time!" he yelped. She sent a worried glance at the bunk bed where Tyson was sleeping. She had snuck into Cabin 3 for privacy and she didn't want to wake the cyclops if she didn't haven't to.

"Ten! Nine! Eight..."

Annabeth rested her chin on her hand as she watched her boyfriend count off the seconds to midnight. She longed to reach out and sweep Percy's hair off his brow but restrained from doing so for fear of ending the Iris Message.

Despite them both growing older and wearier and hardened and guarded, they never gave up on each other. They never broke apart or frayed or shattered. When the world rained blows upon them, they held each other up. They were one another's tethers. Without one, the other would be lost.

"...three! Two! One! Happy birthday!" Percy sang. He sent her a smile that made her feel like the prettiest girl in the world.

But then his face fell. And his eyes hardened. And he seemed to age before her very eyes.

"I'm sorry I couldn't be there."

Annabeth cocked her head.

"I miss you. So much. You have to know that. I'm sorry I broke my promise."

Huh?

"You're taking me out to dinner this weekend, remember?" They knew his family's vacation happened to land on her birthday this year — that's why they were Iris Messaging in the first place.

Percy shook his head. Funny... now there was a second streak of gray in his hair. Where had that come from? "If I could change it all I would, I would, I swear."

"Change what?" Annabeth squinted at him, thoughts tumbling and crashing in her head. Was this a birthday prank? Had Travis and Conner conducted something again? Was this a residual episode from Tartarus? They still suffered but they were healing, little by little… weren't they?

"I love you. So much." His voice had lost all its warmth. Now it was desperate and distant and had no business belonging to him. "I never wanted to hurt you. But this was the only way."

"Percy, it's just a birthday. I'll have more!"

Percy choked on a strangled laugh. "Yes, but not with me."

What?

"You have to go now. You were so beautiful tonight. You're always beautiful. I'll see you later, okay? You promised! Remember? Of course you do. Now get up."

What?

"I don't understand—"

"Get up," he snapped. "Get up."

"Get up."

"Get up!"

"Anniebeth, time to get up!"

Annabeth jerks upright, clawing at her throat. She can't help the gasps that escape her as she gathers her bearings. Where is she?

She's in a bedroom. Light filters in through a window shade. Sunlight, most likely. It must be noon. Honking cars and shouting voices can be heard faintly. A mural is painted on the wall in front of her: Atlantis residing splendidly in its watery painted depths.

Ahh.

She knows this mural. She was the one who painted it.

Annabeth knows where she is now.

Estelle toddles into Percy's old room and offers a gummy smile. There are several gaps where baby teeth are still missing.

"You up Anniebeth?"

Annabeth swings her legs over the side of the bed — Percy's bed — so that the child can't see her tears. "Yes, I'm up. Thank you for waking me. Do you mind giving me some privacy? I just need to change, and I'll be right out."

She holds her breath as Estelle's footsteps retreat. When the door clicks shut, a dam breaks within her.

Silent sobs wrack her body as the weight of reality crash over her.

Percy.

Her.

Dead.

It feels like just yesterday he was smiling at her over blue pancakes, passing her his keys for an errand, canoeing with her at camp, kissing her when he thought she was asleep... when actually, it has been five years since he died.

Five years of forgetting every morning, and that earth shattering moment of revelation.

Five years of being reminded of him by almost everything she sees or hears or does or thinks.

Five years of dreams of him that are so lifelike, they could be memories.

Five years of weeping so hard on his birthday that she usually can't eat or drink or breathe.

Five long, excruciating years.

"Are we going to the park today?" Estelle asks when Annabeth finally emerges. She is wearing an aquamarine dress that matches her eyes and bounces in her chair like she has a sugar rush.

Five years of putting dreams on hold to parent Estelle.

Annabeth moves in a dazed-like state as she opens the fridge.

"You promised! Remember?"

Annabeth drops the carton of milk that she's holding.

I'll see you later, okay?

You promised! Remember?

She waves off Estelle and quickly picks the carton up. "I'm sorry, what were you saying?" she asks as she puts the milk safely on the counter.

"The park!" Estelle turns on her puppy dog eyes. She always looks like Percy when she does that. Even Sally said so when she first tried.

"Please? It's gonna rain soon and I've been waiting forever!"

The park.

Her and Estelle.

Right.

"Yes, of course. Just let me have breakfast and then we can go."

Estelle beams and starts chattering away about the newest creature she learned about on Animal Planet. Annabeth's heart clenches. Percy loved Animal Planet — mostly the ocean specials though. He said it was like watching reality tv.

Annabeth bustles around the kitchen and is soon sitting with Estelle and slurping cereal.

"Ready to leave?" Annabeth asks when they're both done eating.

"Yah, but..."

Annabeth raises an eyebrow. "But what?"

Estelle scrunches up face. "Are you really gonna go outside like that?"

Annabeth does a double take at her appearance. Not bothering to brush it, she threw her hair into a ponytail and she's wearing gray sweats and his blue high school sweatshirt. There are also dark bags under her red rimmed eyes that she hasn't bothered to conceal.

"I think I look like a million bucks."

"Oh my gods," the 7 year old groans, rolling her eyes — another thing that is painstakingly familiar.

"Oh my gods is right." Annabeth stands with a screech of her chair. She slides her phone and the apartment keys into her pocket. "Oh my gods, you're lucky enough to be blessed by all this beauty. C'mon, let's go. I'll race you there."