Losing You Terrifies Me

by A. David

Gentle. That was the word the monster had used. Will would hold onto that word as if it were the only thing in the universe. Because it was gentle. Each skim of lips and trace of tongue, each brush of fingers and dip of hips were nothing but gently maddening, sending Will so far into himself that he thought he would never be found again.

34. Chapter 34

Another week had passed without much incident, though Will had over seasoned dinner once or twice. But how was he supposed to know the difference between a teaspoon and a tablespoon when they were labeled ts and tbs? In hindsight it should have been more clear, but when Will was attempting not to burn several different things at once he became muddled.

Hannibal was back to himself, though he was still sleeping most of the day and night. Will hardly saw him unless the killer got up and wandered into the kitchen hungry, which could be any hour of the day or night and it was starting to drive Will a little crazy to wake up at three in the morning to the smell of spices or baking or being asked to cook a five star dish as soon as he had returned from his run. Though Will couldn't be upset with the brownies Hannibal had woken him with at midnight the night before.

Will entered the house with a huff of air, knees shaking from the increase in his miles, but he was up to three now which was better than it had been in Louisiana. He inhaled deeply of the air and smelt an odd mixture that he couldn't exactly place, though it wasn't all bad. Instead he made his way into the kitchen, pushing sweaty locks of hair from his face and came to a stop.

"What the fuck are you doing?" Will asked taking in how every inch of the dining table and nearly every inch of the counters were covered in different baked goods. Hannibal glanced up from where he was whisking something at the stove and his face was the picture of innocence.

"I can't believe you ran in the rain. You'll make yourself sick," Hannibal shot back and Will rolled his eyes.

"You have no room to speak about being sick and it was just drizzling." Will licked at his lips and his hands rested on his hips as he tried to steady his still racing breath. "I was gone for an hour and you managed to run a whole bake sale on your own."

Will stepped closer to the table and looked over the mass amounts of cookies that were an assortment of all types. Beside that were those gooey brownies that would be full of melted chocolate chunks and Will wished he had picked a different time to start working out again. Beside that there looked to be a pie of some sort, Lemon Meringue maybe.

"We have two ovens, Hannibal. How the hell did you manage all of this?" Will grabbed a snickerdoodle from a stack on a cooling rack and took a bite of it, though he didn't give Hannibal the satisfaction of how wonderfully buttery the cookie was despite the way the man was watching and waiting for an expression. Will simply moved over to the counter where more cookies were cooling as were a pan of what could have been cinnamon rolls waiting for their turn in the ovens, both of which were on. "And what the fuck are you making now?"

"American toffee," Hannibal replied, though he didn't so much as abandon his post when Will purposefully let his cookie crumble across Hannibal's clean workspace. A disapproving frown was all that Will received.

"And you what? Stress bake?" Will teased, wandering over to the stove to look into the pot that Hannibal was diligently stirring to find a golden bubbling mess of stickiness.

"I am not stressed. I was bored and you weren't here to entertain me."

"That is not my job," Will reprimanded with a smile as he took another bite of his cookie before holding it out for Hannibal to share. Hannibal grinned and took a bite of Will's offering before Will shoved the rest into his mouth. "What's in that?" Will motioned to the pot and stepped out of the way when Hannibal reached over to the container of tools to pull out what must have been a thermometer of some kind that Hannibal plunged into the sticky sweetness and watched carefully while continuing to stir.

"Butter, sugar, water, salt and some vanilla," Hannibal replied, sighing when the thermometer didn't read the temperature that he wanted and he kept stirring. "Would you mind chopping up almonds for the top?"

"American toffee?" Will asked as he went to the sink to wash his hands. "Isn't it English toffee?"

"They are fairly similar," Hannibal explained easily. "English toffee is made with brown sugar instead of white and is not topped with nuts, but I personally enjoy the almonds." Hannibal's attention was pulled up at the oven as one of the timers went off and he gave a huff. "Will, I'm afraid that I always forget how long this needs to be stirred for. Would you please make sure that the cakes don't burn and get the cinnamon rolls into the oven once it's clear?"

Will rolled his eyes with a small smile and walked over to Hannibal, kissing at the back of the man's head before finding some hot pads and opening the oven. The air was warm and smelt strongly of honey. Will carefully pulled out the two cake pans and set them down on the stovetop that wasn't being used. He closed up the oven again and glanced over the golden cakes, a color he had never seen on a cake before.

"I still have several questions, Hannibal," Will stated with a small smile. Hannibal glanced up with a hum in answer. "How the hell did you make all of these things?" Will moved over to fetch the cinnamon rolls and added them to the oven, setting a time as Hannibal instructed.

"I've been prepping them all for a while now. Some of them do take some planning."

"Right," Will said with a nod as he went over to the other counter where a cutting board and a rather large knife were waiting with a package of almonds beside them. Will dumped some of them out and went about chopping them which was proving far more difficult than he thought when several shot out from under the knife and raced across the kitchen floor. "And what are you going to do with all of this? We can't eat all of this."

"It's a thank you."

Will paused and glanced over his shoulder where Hannibal was fiddling with the thermometer again. "For who?"

"Dr. Starling."

Will stared at the man for a moment in utter shock and then around at all of the treats, mouth slack. "Eli?" Will finally asked. "Why?"

"I have glimpses of what happened, Will. As much as I would have preferred that no one else knew that we were here, he did help me and helped you, I'm sure. He also has yet to have law enforcement rain down on this place." Hannibal's hand paused for a moment in thought before he began stirring again. "I owe him and you my life."

Will felt a small smile tug at his lips and he quickly went back to chopping up the almonds into odd shapes, though Hannibal didn't correct him so he assumed it was alright.

"Two more questions, Hannibal."

"God forbid you seek out knowledge, dear Will."

Will chuckled and stepped away from the cutting board and over to the stove to once more look over the cakes. "I've never seen a cake that color before. What is it?"

"A traditional Lithuanian honey cake. We used to eat it with tea when I was younger. I suppose I might be feeling a bit nostalgic," Hannibal replied with a sad sort of tilt to his voice, though his lips stayed happy in their smile. "That is specifically for us. We don't have to share it."

"A wedding cake maybe?" Will asked hopefully watching as Hannibal's face twisted into several different emotions before it settled back into its normally blank expression. "That's my last question, Hannibal. You can stand now, you're not as tired anymore, you've stopped taking your medication, your wound is healed. Please, let's get married. I can't stand not being tied to you anymore."

"Impatient little boy," Hannibal scolded with no bite to his voice. "Good things come to those who wait. And I believe that we have some things to discuss before we go about with a ball and chain."

"What for?"

"I believe it is important for both of us to know what to do in case we need to go in different directions and where to reunite," Hannibal explained, once more messing with the thermometer.

"What?" Will stepped to the side as Hannibal finally gave a nod and reached for two hot pads to remove the pot with boiling sugar from off of the stove.

"I do not have the illusion that we are going to have a normal and boring routine life, especially if I am involved. And you need to know all my assets and what to use in what case, how and where," Hannibal explained as he poured the angry bubbling sugar out onto a sheet pan, carefully scooping at the pot with the spoon in his hand. "Once all of that is in order, then we will get married. We have to use all of our real information for this first step and I want to make sure all of it is perfect. I'm not risking you just so we can be legally bound."

"Hannibal..." Will whispered, a hurt feeling clogging up his chest. He folded his arms over his chest as if that could help conceal the emotion from his voice. "You said-"

"I know what I said, my love." Hannibal placed the pot back onto the stove top and Will was surprised to see all of the man's attention fully on him and not on what was being baked any longer. Hannibal's hands took Will's hips and pulled Will to him, nosing into Will's curls. "And I will marry you. I promise, my love. Losing you terrifies me and I want to make sure that that won't happen."

"And how are we going to have a judge that… Well?" Will asked, tipping his head back to let Hannibal's lips carefully trace the line of his neck.

"I still have a contact that owes me something."

"I believe that one day those contacts may be needed," Will muttered, letting himself be pushed into the counter and trapped there. "Is it wise to use them now?"

"There are many people who I keep happy until they are needed. That would be something you need to memorize, Will," Hannibal whispered as he kissed at Will's neck taking in the salty scent of Will's run from his skin.

"Normal couples talk about vows and mortgages," Will smiled with a small chuckle as Hannibal's trailed up Will's pulse.

"We will discuss countries, bank accounts, fake passports and identities. All of it, if this is still what you want."

"Of course this is what I want." Will gave a small sigh at the gentle kiss to the dip in the back of his jaw, melting into Hannibal's touch.

"For you and the boy?"

Will's smile fell and Hannibal leaned back at the stiffness that filled the air. "Oh," Will whispered. "I didn't... I..." Will shook his head and leaned forward to place his head to Hannibal's shoulder. "He won't like all of the traveling and the new schools and..." Will trailed off once more and placed a kiss to Hannibal's shoulder. "Why do you always have to be so logical? I hate you."

"I just want what's best for the both of you." Hannibal placed a kiss to Will's hair and ran his hands up Will's back soothingly. "There's a reason I want to wait a little longer. I want to make sure everything is set up so that we can live exactly how we want."

"I am pretty sure that he will hate it, but he will come around, for me, and you need to know that he..." Will didn´t know how to explain it so he went silent.

"He is interested in me, Will. He is smart and curious, he speaks Lithuanian," Hannibal offered gently as some sort of consolation and Will wasn't exactly sure what Hannibal meant by it.

"He… W-what?" Will asked, pushing back so he could meet Hannibal's amber gaze.

"I'm sure we can discuss the details later, but let's say he's very much like his dad and can't leave anything alone until he knows everything." Hannibal smiled and placed a kiss to Will's cheek. "I know he doesn't like me much, so he and I will just need to figure it out for you. But there's nothing that either of us wouldn't do for you. Your kid is loyal if nothing else."

"Hannibal, I honestly…" Will gave a deep sigh. "I have no idea how this is going to work but I won't lose you or him. That's not a compromise I will make. It's both of you."

"I am well aware," Hannibal muttered with a nod, kissing Will's lips chastely. "I won't give up on Walter."

A smile covered Will's lips and he kissed Hannibal again. "Thank you."

Hannibal pulled back as the timer on the oven went off and he went to it to fetch out the cinnamon rolls. "Now that that is a bit more settled, we should have Dr. Starling for dinner."

"Hannibal," Will said sternly.

"As a guest, dear Will," Hannibal assured with a chuckle. "There is no way that both you and I could consume this amount of sweets in a timely manner and I won't have any of them frozen."

"You are impossible," Will said, laughing with a shake of his head.

"Will, can you please fetch the chocolate from the pantry and put some over the toffee before it cools?"

"Of course."

Will went for the pantry, inhaling deeply of the spices that swirled through the air but stopped at an odd little chime from somewhere in the other room. The air went still and Will glanced over at Hannibal who had frozen stiff.

Will knew the song. He knew the tone and had heard it many times before. Brahms' lullaby for Molly's darling son. Will's heart sank and he moved from the pantry and then towards the sound. It was coming from the front closet where Will had tossed many things just to keep the house tidy and bad memories out of mind.

"Will, we need to turn off that phone and move. I didn't realize it was still on," Hannibal said quickly, chasing after Will as Will dug through the closet for the melody that had restarted.

"It's Walter."

"You don't know that," Hannibal argued as he watched Will throwing things out of the closet and across the front entry until his hands latched onto Hannibal's jacket and his hands rifled through the pockets, the phone's ringing louder now. "It could be Jack or anyone Will. Give me the phone and grab your things. We need to leave."

Will shook his head and held up Molly's phone for Hannibal to see. Walter's name was on the screen as the lullaby continued to play. Hannibal sighed and shook his head, but he knew nothing, not even the most sound of logic, would stop Will from answering that phone.

Hannibal ran a hand through his hair and stepped away to head back into the kitchen, thinking of which safe house they could get to without a car. They would need to steal one or rent one or maybe he would just need to owe Dr. Starling a million favors.

"Hello?" Will asked into the phone and Hannibal's stomach did a flip as his mind tried to reason over itself. His hand went for a knife in the knife block on instinct and he had to force himself to release it. That wasn't what he wanted. "Walter."

It was the kid.

Hannibal looked up as Will came into the kitchen, phone on speaker and the child's voice came through the line, muffled.

"Dad, Jack wants to talk to you."

Hannibal felt his blood run cold and he shook his head once more. "Will," he hissed sternly. "Turn off the phone. We need to go. Jack is not going to help us anymore."

"What does Jack want, Wally?" Will asked, ignoring Hannibal's warnings, though he could feel the glare that was being dug into his back. He glanced over Hannibal's stance and shuttered at the thought that he looked like how he did years ago in his kitchen in Baltimore. Shoulder hunched and arms flexed, ready to reach for a weapon if needed. Will glanced around and slowly pushed the knife block from Hannibal's reach.

"Alana and him are planning something to help you come get me," Walter explained on the other side of the line. "They don't know that I'm calling you though. I didn't tell them. They sent Morgan to talk to me. He had a phone in his pocket recording."

"All kids have phones, Walter," Will offered, watching as Hannibal paced, obviously antsy with how long Will was still on the line.

"Alana doesn't approve of electronics. She won't even let Morgan watch TV. He doesn't have a phone," Walter pointed out and Will could note the slight pause in Hannibal's steps at the curious observation.

"Did you find out for certain that she was recording your conversation?" Will asked, a hand reaching out to still Hannibal. Will tried to give Hannibal a reassuring look as he squeezed the killer's hand.

"No, Morgan told me."

"Why would he tell you?" Hannibal asked bitterly and Will did his best to ignore Hannibal's tone. Hannibal had every right to be upset. Will knew he was being stupid but it had been three weeks and he had to know what things looked like. He had to know that Walter was ok.

"He felt bad for tricking me," Walter explained with the tone of a shrug. "After I pointed out that he didn't have a phone."

"Do you believe him?" Hannibal asked once more, stepping a little nearer to Will who let his thumb trace soothing circles into the back of Hannibal's hand.

"I am not sure, so I called you to tell you that I am ok and that they want to talk. Jack's been here nearly every night. I only catch bits and parts of what they say. They're trying to reach out to you. They want to talk with you."

"Are you sure they are not listening?" Will questioned, pulling Hannibal just close enough that he could wrap his arm around the killer's waist. Will placed a kiss against Hannibal's shirt.

"Not here."

"They could be recording, Walter. They would be watching this line. Listen to me. I will find you, be patient, don't ever call this number again. Do you understand? I will reach out to you when it's safe to do so."

"You promise you're going to come get me right?" Walter asked hurriedly and Will frowned at the worry in the child's voice. "Promise, dad."

"I promise," Will assured before he hung up the call. He couldn't listen to his son's begging. He would want to leave now if Walter asked him to. He would go back to his son, everything else be damned. "We need to leave," Will announced after a moment of tense silence. He held out the phone to Hannibal who snatched it up and took it to the sink. He dropped it down the drain and flipped a nearby switch. Will winced at the loud and angry grinding sound that came from the garbage disposal as it smashed up the phone before it whirled into silence. "Grab your things."

Hannibal was silent, lips tight in a thin line, the anger radiating off of him hot. Will could see the vein in Hannibal's head tick and his hands opened and closed a few times, muscles tense.

"I needed to know, Hannibal. If it were you, I woul-" Will started but Hannibal interrupted him.

"Jack shouldn't have involved Walter, not after Molly."

Will gave a small sigh, following after Hannibal as Hannibal moved to their bedroom. He tossed the door open and went about the room grabbing a few odds and ends, but nothing much else.

"There will be things at the next house. Just grab what you need," Hannibal instructed, tone flat and bland.

"Hannibal," Will tried again, following Hannibal around the room from place to place nearly feeling like a lost puppy. "Hannibal, if it were you-"

"We will discuss this later," Hannibal interrupted once more. "Now be that cunning boy you are and shut up and pack." Will fell silent and still as Hannibal made his way to the door, the several items he had picked up in his hands. Will stared after Hannibal who eventually came to his own stop at the bedroom door. Hannibal's tense body slowly loosened and his head dropped forward on a weak neck, the items in his hands hitting the floor. "I'm so sorry Will." Hannibal turned around and his heart cracked at the absolutely hurt look over the empath's face. "I never meant to- I didn't mean..." Hannibal sighed, a hand going to his hair. "That was so utterly and incredibly rude of me. I never... I'm sorry."

"Shut up and pack. Got it," Will whispered with a nod, turning away from Hannibal and heading to the closest to grab his gun.

"Will I-" Hannibal fell silent at the sound of the gun being loaded and cocked.

"Follow your own advice, Hannibal. Shut up and pack."

---

Jack's phone rang and he glanced down at Zeller's name with a sigh before declining the call and returning to the conversation at hand with Alana. "We've been able to update their DNA in the files and all through CODIS. There are two bodies waiting on ice for them."

"And how long can those bodies sit on ice?" Alana asked with a small roll of her eyes. "We still haven't found them yet." There was another ring and Jack looked at his phone once more to find Zeller's name again on the screen. "I think that you are needed."

"So it would seem," Jack replied, answering the call and placing the phone to his ear. "What?"

"Molly's phone pinged. We have an address, but if you want to be there, we need to get someone over there now," Zeller said quickly.

"How did her phone ping? No one has been trying to reach out to it," Jack muttered, a hand going to his head. "I told you guys to wait until we had everything in order before we reached out to him."

"It wasn't us," Zeller assured.

"We wouldn't do that Jack!" Price's voice called in the distance, muffled.

"Who else knew that Molly's phone-" Jack broke off, eyes wide and looked up at Alana who sat up a little fuller in her chair. "Get there and stop them from leaving. They'll run. I'll catch the next flight out."

"You got it boss," Zeller replied, ending the call.

"Where is he?" Jack asked, getting to his feet.

"Wally!" Alana called, getting to her feet from the dining table, the files and files of information no longer mattering to her. "Walter! Please get in here immediately!"

"If we lose them-"

"Will will come back for Walter," Alana assured with a wave of her hand, the other on her waist as she shifted her weight from foot to foot. "Walter!" There were rushing footsteps down the hall and Alana let out a deep breath of air when the dining room door opened and the young boy's head poked in. "Come here, please." Walter stepped into the room, but stopped when his eyes fell on Jack and Alana took a step forward, only causing Walter to jump back. "Come here, please," Alana repeated and Walter shook his head.

"No. Not with him here," Walter replied softly, backing up into the door. Walter reached for the door handle but jumped at Jack's voice.

"Sit down!"

Walter's eyes went wide and Alana's face fell slightly. "Jack," Alana scolded harshly before her gaze softened and she looked towards Walter. "Wally, we just need to talk to you for a moment. Can you please sit down?" Walter shook his head slowly, eyes tight on Jack whose face was in a deep scowl. "Very well." Alana sighed, a hand going to her head. "Walter, please be honest with me. Did you call your mom's phone?"

"What?" Walter asked softly, pressing himself back against the door as if to make himself smaller.

"Did you call Molly's phone?" Jack repeated, his voice strained as he tried to keep it down and Walter had to guess that he had never been very good with children.

"Why would I try to call my mom's phone?" Walter asked, eyes flickering between Alana and Jack, unable to settle on either one of them. "She's dead, remember?"

"Were you trying to reach out to your dad?" Alana questioned, taking a step towards Walter who someone only sunk back further against the door. Walter shook his head. "Please tell me the truth, Walter."

"He won't answer my texts. Why would he answer a phone call?" Walter licked at his lips and Alana tipped her head to the side as the boy's eyes went to the floor, not daring to look up. "You said he was hiding. Can't they track phone calls? They do it in the movies all of the time, you are the experts. I don't want to be here and if you don't want me here, then just call the government, unless..." Walter paused, finally looking up to meet Alana's gaze head on. "Unless you want to piss off a man like Hannibal Lecter."

"Walter, that's enough," Alana said, waving at the boy to dismiss him.

"For once I agree, Doctor. I never, never, want to be in the same room this hypocrite is," Walter said, running away from Alana and Jack and from the room, the door slamming behind him.

"Mom, why are you treating him like this?" Morgan asked, stepping into the room from where he had been hidden from behind the door, closing the door softly behind him.

"Morgan, it is rude to listen in on other people's conversation, an-" Alana started.

"It is much worse to mistreat a boy who has lost his family, that you said you would take care of and you make him be with the only person he can stand less than the rest of us," Morgan said, facing Jack, voice strong as he spoke. "He doesn't like him, mom. What would Hanni say? Would you let anyone who took me be in the same room as me?" Morgan asked, running out of the room as well, though the door didn't slam like it had behind Walter.

"Jack, I am going to ask you to leave"

"Alana, if Walter-"

"I doubt any of us is going to be capable of speaking with him again to find out anything about Will," Alana said breathlessly, her nails tapping on the table. "And he is right Jack. You're the expert. Find someone else other than Walter to do your job. You're not turning him into another Abigail Hobbs." There was a deep inhale as Alana calmed and straightened herself up. "Now if you excuse me I have a domestic crisis with a pre-teen and a little boy. If you want to catch Will and Hannibal before they disappear for good then I suggest you hurry and catch your flight. Jimmy and Brian won't be able to hold those two," Alana said as she made her way to the dining room door to follow after her son.

"This isn't over, Alana," Jack said as he got to his feet.

"Of course it's not. It's far from that, Jack. I had made peace with Hannibal and now, by trying to help you, I put my position in the same place that it was before Walter came in, if not worse." Alana's hand clutched at the door handle tightly, anger making her breath run hot. "I told you before that I do not like to owe Hannibal Lecter any favors and you are not going to be the reason he comes to collect."

"I can show myself out then?" Jack asked as he gathered up all of his paperwork.

"I think that would be suitable," Alana answered, opening the door and leaving the room in search of the two children.

Morgan's room was empty, as was Margot's. Margot had some business to attend to and was out for the night, the house feeling a little empty without her. She was much better with children and Alana couldn't help but wish that Margot could help her with the situation.

She stopped outside of Walter's room and was about to knock when voices made her stop.

"Don't go, Wally," Morgan begged. "You don't know where they are."

"I'll find them." Walter was always so determined. "There are enough first edition books in here that I'm sure I can find a shop that I can sell them at. I'll get money, find my way to Vermont and start there. That's where you said Jack said they were, right?"

"Yes, Vermont," Morgan agreed. "But Wally-"

"I'm going and there's nothing you can do to stop me."

Alana pushed open the door and looked over the scene that had been playing out. Morgan stood beside the window that had been pushed open. Walter stood outside, a backpack slung over his shoulders that was budging with, most likely, books and the clothes that Alana had bought him. He looked flushed and angry, winter coat on and ready to brace the still rather frigid nights.

"Thanks for having me, but I don't want to be here anymore." Walter's voice was strong and steady, mind made up.

"Walter, please, I need you to understand," Alana said, stepping into the room. Walter didn't run so that had to be a good sign.

"No, I do not need to understand. You're the adults, you're the Doctor. You must understand that I am not here because I want and if I am such an inconvenience I have my grandparents, even a second rate aunt that I can stay with. You don't have to have me and I don't want to see you ever again. You have no right to hold me here!"

"Please Walter," Alana tried once more, pushing inside of the room a little further. Walter still didn't move as Alana came to stand by the window, a hand on Morgan's shoulder.

"I know you don't want me here. I didn't have the choice, but now you need to listen to me," Walter hissed, pointing at Alana with a shaking hand. "You call someone who is willing to help me be with the closest thing I can have to a family or I call 911."

"Please stay the night an in the morning we will discuss what to do and-"

"We will discuss what is going to happen tonight!" Walter shouted, finally stepping further away from the open window. "I am not going to stay here where that fucking murderer is welcome. I want my dad!"

"Wally, please stay," Morgan said in a small voice. "Don't go." His hand reached out towards Walter but the older boy only pulled further away into the night.

Walter's eyes dropped back towards Alana. "What do I have to stay for?"

"Here's what we're going to do," Alana said as calmly as she could, looking between both of the boys. "I will work tonight to reach Hannibal and Will. If I cannot reach them then I will get in touch with your family and find someone who will take you."

"Liar."

Alana's eyes narrowed at Walter's accusation and her jaw ticked. "You are welcome to stay up with me all night while I work if you do not believe me. You stay until tomorrow and I promise I will never ask you about your dad again and I promise that Jack will never be near you again."

"Forgive me if I don't trust you," Walter shot back.

"Alright," a mild tone said from somewhere outside. Walter spun around and felt himself go silent as Margot stepped through the darkened yard lightly with hands behind her back. "How about we get a cup of cocoa and talk about this, Wally? It's pretty cold tonight, isn't it?"

"I guess," he whispered, eyes wandering over Margot carefully. If there was anyone he was going to have to spend the night with it would be Margot. She just let things be. She didn't push, didn't argue, didn't try to force her way in. Margot's hand took his shoulder and he found his body betraying him and relaxing into the calm hold.

"Ok, then everyone to the kitchen. Can someone please explain to me what happened in my absence?" Margot asked as she led Walter from the window and through the night.

"Mother, Wally is upset," Morgan explained desperately when Margot and Walter were out of hearing range.

"How very unfortunate that our guest is in such a bad mood," she said kindly, though Morgan could clearly see the frown across his mom's face. Alana moved over to the open window and pulled it shut. "Maybe this peace offering will help. Come on. Do as your mother said. To the kitchen."

"What do you mean?" Morgan asked curiously as he was guided from the bedroom and down the hall. Morgan glanced around the kitchen curiously and Alana noted the hesitation in her son's stance before he went to join Walter at the counter bar stools.

"How about I make the cocoa?" Margot offered sweetly, her smile small as she leaned against the counter with folded arms. She was always better with children. "And we will let Wally decide what we have for dinner. Then Wally, and only Wally," -Margot's eyes met her wife's in warning- "will tell me exactly what happened while I was away. Does that sound appropriate to everyone?"

There were small nods from everyone and Margot went about pulling out a pan from one of the hooks over the island and put it on the stove. She grabbed the milk from the fridge and gave a smile at the hushed voice that belonged to Morgan.

"I only get to pick what's for dinner on my birthday."

There was an exasperated sigh from Walter as he let the backpack that was still on his person drop to the floor. There was a loud thud from the bag from all of the books he had stolen, but no one made any comment about it. Instead Alana simply joined her wife in the kitchen and got down the hot chocolate packets and passed them to Margot.

"What would you like for dinner, Wally?" Alana questioned.

"Anything?" Walter asked softly, head leaning across his folded arms on the counter.

"Anything," Margot assured with a nod, stirring at the pot on the stove.

"Can we have those dinosaur chicken nuggets and tater tots?"

Margot looked over with a small laugh and nodded. She glanced over at Alana who rolled her eyes.

"I will get my purse," Alana announced. "Morgan. Come with me. Let's let Walter have some time alone."

"But mom-"

"Come now Morgan. Be quick about it," Alana ordered a little more intensely and Morgan jumped from his stool immediately. "Be back soon."

"Make sure there are pterodactyls," Walter called and Morgan gave an enthusiastic nod as he rushed after Alana. There was a clank as a steaming mug that was set down in front of Walter on the counter. Walter glanced up to see that thin lined smile across Margot's lips. "Do you have any whipped cream?"

"'I'm sure there might be some around here," Margot said with a breath of air, moving over to the fridge. She came back with a can and sprayed some over the top of Walter's mug and the fluffy cream immediately began to melt into the drink. "Morgan really likes you, you know. He hasn't been this excited about dinner, even for his birthday."

Walter picked up the mug and took a small trial sip and put the mug back down with a pained expression, licking his tongue over his lips at the drink being too hot. "It's because he doesn't know many other kids," Walter muttered, finger dipping into the whipped cream to swirl it.

"He's met plenty of children. We have to make sure he grows up with the right families to continue the family business. He prefers you above all of them though."

"I don't think he should." Walter licked the cream from his finger before he laid his head back on the counter.

"How about you go put your coat back and then hopefully your cocoa will be cool and then we can talk without the others here. Does that sound good?" Margot gave Walter a smile and the boy sighed heavily, but did as instructed, climbing down from the barstool and picking up the rather heavy backpack.

"I'm sorry for taking the books. My dad would have paid for them and-"

"Don't worry about it Wally." Margot came around the counter and lowered herself to the boy's height with kind blue eyes. "Go put your things away and then we'll talk. I have some things that I need to tell you as well." Her hand gently caressed over Walter's cheek and Walter froze at the feeling of his own mother's warmth in Margot's hand. His chest clenched painfully.

"Thanks," he whispered as he pulled from her grip and left the kitchen.

He stopped outside of the door and glanced around at the hallways before him. He didn't have to stay. He could leave now. Margot wouldn't stop him. He honestly wasn't sure where he would go. He had no idea which direction Vermont was, but he could figure it out. He was sure of it. He should leave. He wanted to leave. He wanted to find his dad and who else could find Will than his own son? He was sure he could do it and he desperately wanted to try. To prove that he was worth being with Will and Hannibal.

It wasn't right. It was so very wrong and that's why he had lied to Morgan about not being worthy enough to be part of Hannibal Lecter's life. He wasn't sure where the notion or want had come from and maybe it had come from all of the research to understand the man that Walter had done in the last three years, but he desperately wanted to be worthy of Hannibal Lecter.

It was twisted and maybe that was what Hannibal Lecter could do. Walter wanted to be perfect. He wanted to be as smart and as sharp as his dad was. He needed to be a part of them, he needed them. And it was a them, a packaged deal. There was no getting out of it. Everyone had their own place and their own kind and Walter only had Will Graham who had the Chesapeake Ripper.

Walter just needed to know where he fit in that. Would he fit in that? Or would he just be a burden? How could he be better? How could he prove to them that he was ready for this life, whatever this life might be? How did he show Hannibal Lecter that he was worth more than Abigail Hobbs?

There were so many other questions swirling in his mind and he wasn't sure how to hold them all back. They were blinding and loud, but he needed to stay focused and calm. He needed to stop thinking like himself and think more like his dad or maybe even Hannibal.

What would they do in this situation?

The smart thing would be to stay put and stay silent. Will and Hannibal had left him here for a reason, even if Walter didn't necessarily understand the reasoning behind it. It was most likely because he was safe here. There was money to hide him behind and both Alana and Margot didn't seem to have an issue with bending the rules and fudging the lines.

Walter's hand tightened on the strap of the backpack at the thought of the woman. Alana and Jack. They were so similar that they clashed heads. They were cold and unfeeling and only cared about the end goal, but Walter wasn't sure if he cared what had made them that way. Because Alana's exterior and interior was as cold as an icebox, but Margot was different.

There was pain in Margot's eyes. Walter could read it in her face. It was sketched into every inch of her skin. She lived through horrors that Walter was sure would match or exceed his, but she was still so kind. So sweet to him. Let him just be... him. Even if he didn't want anything to do with anyone, that was alright. She would have been a better doctor than Alana.

Walter sighed. He had to stay. As much as Walter wanted to leave, and did his body itch to be off of this blood stained property, he only knew the state that Will and Hannibal were in. He would be knocking on doors to try to find them if he could even hitch a ride up the coast.

Not to mention that Will had promised to come back. Will had promised and Walter wanted to believe that promise with all of his heart. He wanted to hold onto it because it was all that he had to hold onto. Any semblance of someone who loved him and wanted him, because Alana and Margot surely didn't want him. And what if Walter left and Will did come for him? What would Will do then? Would Will try to find him or just let him go?

Walter closed his eyes and rubbed at them tiredly with a small groan. He would stay. He had to stay right here. Even if Alana did make good on her word and got him back to his grandparents or even his aunt, Walter wouldn't stay put. He would go after Will.

With a steadying inhale, Walter made his way to his room and threw all of his things onto the floor before heading back to the kitchen. He pushed open the door to see Margot patiently sipping on her own mug of hot chocolate. She placed it on the counter and gave him a gentle grin as he took his seat back at the bar.

"I thought maybe you had gotten lost there for a moment," she teased and Walter shrugged in answer, reaching for his cooled mug and drinking from it.

He closed his eyes with a sigh as warmth filled him from the inside out, fighting away the frost that he hadn't noticed was on his limbs. When he finally opened his eyes and set the mug aside, Margot was staring at him, waiting for him to speak. When Walter didn't, Margot prompted him as delicately as she could.

"What happened today Wally? What made you so upset?"

"They keep trying to find my dad," Walter whispered in answer, eyes down on the counter and not meeting Margot's. He couldn't look into those eyes that reminded him of that spoiled little kid that annoyed him so much. It would only piss Walter off more. "If my dad wants to be found, he'll come out of hiding. They're just going to make him dig deeper if they keep trying to drag him back here."

"I see," Margot replied thoughtfully with a nod. "Did either Alana of Jack tell you exactly what the plan was?" Walter's eyes flickered up for a moment before they fell back to the counter and the young boy shook his head. "Wally, they are working very hard to try to fake your dad's death so that you all might be able to escape with no one coming after you. They're trying to give you a fresh start. Somewhere far away from police and the FBI and-"

"Murders," Walter offered with a shrug. "I know enough about Hannibal, Margot. You don't have to be sensitive. I'm not a baby."

Margot sighed and moved to the empty chair beside Walter's sitting in it and reaching out to caress the back of Walter's head. When Walter didn't move, she slowly ran her fingers through the boy's dark hair, doing her best to take the tense line out of the kid's shoulders.

"Yes," she answered softly. "Murders too." Walter glanced over and she gave him a half smile, fingers still gently playing with his hair. "They are trying to give you the best shot that they can. But first they need to speak to your dad and Hannibal so that they can figure out how to conduct with this plan. There's a lot of moving pieces and parts that need to be perfected and they can't do that without your dad and Hannibal. That is why they are trying so hard to find them."

"And I ruined it," Walter whispered in realization, head snapping up. "I'm such a fucking idiot."

"No, you're not," Margot argued back sweetly. "What happened, Wally?"

"Before we get into that, you should know that I know Morgan was recording several of our conversations."

Margot's brow rose, but she didn't look at all surprised much to Walter's shock. Instead she looked a little amused. "Did Morgan tell you?"

"After I confronted him," Walter explained with a small nod. "I know he doesn't own a phone and his pockets look ridiculous with Alana's phone in them. Not to mention that I never go anywhere near Jack while he's here and Alana keeps trying to get me to." Walter's mouth twisted unhappily at the thought. "And I'm never going to speak to that man. Nothing in this world would ever get me to speak to him."

Margot gave a thoughtful nod. "You're a smart boy, Wally. Your dad must be very proud of you."

"I wouldn't know about that." Walter snorted and shook his head. He reached out and took another drink before he sighed. "Look, I'm sure you listened to all of those records conversations too, right?"

"I've heard a fair amount of them," Margot admitted, her fingers leaving Walter's hair to caress at his cheek. "Why?"

"Then you know that Morgan told me to call my mom's phone because Hannibal had taken it."

"Oh." Margot nodded in understanding and lowered her hand to take a firm grip of Walter's shoulder. "Did you call your dad?"

Walter's mouth pulled into a frown and his chin wobbled as if he were going to cry. "I-I just wanted to know that he was coming back for me. I didn't know-I didn't know that it would hurt them until I heard Hannibal's voice."

"What did he say, Wally? Was there anything helpful?"

Walter groaned and turned away from Margot, though he didn't pull from her grip. "No. Nothing helpful. Just that they would come back for me. That's all. That's all he ever says. I'll come back. But he's not going to come back, is he?"

"He'll come back," Margot assured, squeezing into Walter's shoulder in sympathy. "Will is a very determined person. When he has a goal there is nothing that will stop him from reaching it. I should know."

Walter gave a nod and licked at his lips. "You're so sure."

"Your dad has helped me through a great many troubles in my past, Wally. He's a good man and he will come back for you."

"Even if I ruined everything?"

"You didn't ruin anything. It's just a small set back. Everything will be figured out soon. You'll see."

"Wally!" an excited voice said from the doorway to the kitchen, Morgan racing in with a large box of chicken nuggets in his hands. "Look! I found pterodactyls!"