When he finally came to her that night, she had fallen asleep trying to wait up for him. Melinda woke to a gentle fluttering on her face. Bloody flies, she thought to herself. However, when she opened her eyes, she saw Jim's bright blue ones staring back at her. He was touching the tips of his fingers to her face so lightly that it almost tickled.
"I'm sorry." He said, looking at her with concern in his eyes.
It was then that she realized her face was still slightly damp from dried tears. She had cried herself to sleep and it was obvious that Jim could tell. He stroked her face, running his fingers along the tear-streaked lines that were faded but still present on her cheeks.
"Sorry for what?" She asked, her voice low and crackled with sleep.
He breathed in and then said, "I've been so busy with my pain, I didn't even think of yours." To emphasize his remorse, he stretched his fingers out and put his hand so that it cupped her face more fully. He continued to look at her with sorrow behind his eyes.
She reached up to place a hand on top of his that framed her face with care, "It's alright." He started to open his mouth to argue but she moved her hand and placed it half over his mouth and half on his cheek, "No. I understand. Rick said what he did to taunt you, not me. Even if it hurt. He was manipulating me from the beginning and I should've seen that."
He sighed and then spoke, her fingers still over his lips, "He was a fucking pirate and the only one here to blame, mo chridhe. I'm sorry for being so distant again. I was being selfish—"
"Shhhh." She pressed her fingers into his lips with more force and shook her head.
Despite the reassurance in her eyes, Jim shook his head as well. "No." He spoke with such vigor that she allowed her fingers to move from in front of his mouth and rest her hand on his cheek. Encouraging him to go on but also reminding him that she was there. "With everything that's followed Rick's brother dying... Robert's death and your kidnapping... now Francis, Henry, and George... nearly killing Rick…I feel like I've barely had a moment to think about it. Much less had time to speak with you about any of it."
She nodded in agreement, "I know. We've tried not talking about it and look where that's gotten us?" She stroked her thumb along his slightly overgrown stubble, evidence of how busy the last few days had been.
"I feel like… even after everything you've told me about what happened it had never really hit me but... what Rick said. Melinda... I-" His voice cracked on her name and his tone grew more intense as he spoke that by the time he was done, he was practically shaking. "It was different and I wish I killed him, but I couldn't."
Her eyes widened with worry as she watched him become more and more upset. She felt herself beginning to feel emotional as well. There were no proper words to comfort him so she went with the truth because that was what she had always promised to give him.
"Yes," she said, her voice cracking just the same as his, "There was a reason I didn't tell you everything. It hurt me to think about it, but I knew it would tear you up just like it is right now if you knew every detail."
"I should've killed him. He just listened like some perverted sack of shit. You deserved better," Jim began speaking with the same intensity as before but by the time he made it to the end of the sentence, his voice croaked out the words in a strained whisper, and then he was overtaken by a heart-wrenching sob.
He burst into tears and Melinda felt her heartbreaking for him. He curled his shoulders inward as tears fell freely down his face nonstop. His forehead was wrinkled in anguish and his eyes were shut tightly as if he could keep reality out of his head as long as he couldn't see it.
She grabbed ahold of the other side of his face and momentarily felt utterly helpless as she watched her husband's precious face be taken over with unmitigated pain. She let the moment linger for a second before pushing her face closer to his and began showering him with kisses. She placed a kiss on both cheeks and then his nose. One on each of his closed eyelids and one on each eyebrow. She couldn't quite reach his forehead from where she was so she pressed one as high up on his nose as possible, right in between his eyebrows.
Melinda made her way back down his face with more kisses to his cheeks as he continued to cry. "You are everything and more than I deserve, my love, and what Rick is not your fault. He would've done it either way. He was a fucking pirate and I let his charming words manipulate me into thinking he wasn't in that room to see just how bad the damage was."
As Jim's sobs calmed, she continued her caresses as they seemed to be working. She kissed his chin and then up to his jawbone until she was able to kiss him to the bottom of his ear. She repeated this line of kisses back down to his chin and then started to make her way up the other side. She felt him breathe in a long shaky breath trying to relax as more tears still made their way down his face.
"It's alright…it's okay…I know…I know." She spoke to him after each kiss, repeating different phrases of comfort. "Do you think telling me would help? You don't have to keep it bottled up. Nothing about that night could ever hurt me again. Both of them are dead."
He had a look of disgust on his face. "I don't wish to talk about you like that."
"They aren't your words. They are his," she tried to reassure him, sighing. "You're too honorable, but I love that about you." Placing a kiss to the corner of his mouth, she tasted the salt from a tear that had been caught in his lips there. She opened her mouth the tiniest bit and placed another kiss in the same spot.
Jim's lips responded to hers automatically, pursing up just a bit when he felt her lips on his mouth. She placed another kiss on the opposite corner of his mouth and he wet his lips. Wetting his lips was an instinctual response for him but she took it as a green light for more so her next kiss she aligned her lips directly with his and pressed into him hard. He met her with the same intensity, pushing their lips together as tightly as he could.
Immediately, Melinda felt herself being rolled onto her back and she felt the familiar weight of his body leaning into hers from above. He was pressing into her with such urgency that she wrapped her arms around his shoulders and kissed him back with the same passion.
Everything became more intense as they realized how much they both needed this. They needed to drown their sadness in each other's mouths. So that was exactly what they did.
His tongue pushed against her lips, desperately seeking entrance to her warm and comforting mouth. She eagerly granted his request and soon they were using their tongues to try and get impossibly closer to one another. They both moaned into each other as their kiss grew deeper and deeper. While their tongues continued to explore, their hands were doing the same to the outside of their bodies.
Jim's hands had begun on her waist and were soon running up and down her sides and squeezing her every few seconds. As for her, while she pulled his face closer to hers, her other hand was planted firmly in the hair above the back of his neck His broke their kiss to take a much-needed breath but kept his mouth close to hers. She let out a breath that could also have been described as a whimper at the loss of his lips.
They locked eyes and while she could see that no tears were falling anymore, his eyes still glistened with moisture as if there could be another flow of emotions any moment. "Talk to me," she whispered.
"When I went to find Rick, Daniel was giving him a beating so waited for him to finish before going for my turn. We talked, or rather, he talked while I beat the crap out of him." He ran his hand across her cheek as he spoke. "And when he spoke about you... it was like something changed in me. I don't know if it's because I love you or he was a monster. It came to the point where I felt like I'd be putting down a rabid dog if I killed him but I still couldn't do it."
Melinda grabbed his head and pulled him into her arms to hold him. "He was not worth your soul. You did what you had to do and he's gone, and now we can go home to our girl, right?" She whispered, running her fingers through her hair. "We could even have another one.. now that it's safe."
He smiled as he picked up his head to look at her. "Yes, maybe even right here where we made our wee girl." He said to her before he leaned in to kiss her.
She did her best to pour all of her strength into the kiss in the hopes that it would fill him and make him feel whole again. He met her with equal ferocity and practically gulped the breath from her body into his lungs. He recognized what she was trying to do and he accepted her offering with great willingness.
With a high level of desperation, he pulled her towards him even though their faces couldn't possibly get any closer than they already were. Melinda shifted her hips underneath his, one of the many things she did when she wanted to give him the message that she was ready for the next step.
Jim, however, seemed to ignore her wiggling hips and simply continued to kiss her with passion before pushing his face further down her body. He seemed to forget she was wearing a shift because instead of his mouth meeting her flesh as he wanted, his mouth settled onto fabric. Upset at this discovery, he quickly reached both hands to the neckline and pulled it down so harshly that it ripped open.
At the sound of the fabric ripping and the feeling of his aggressive desperation for her, she felt a sharp impulse to pull away at the reminder of that fucking night, but then she opened her eyes to see her husband had stopped and was looking down worried at her. That was everything.
"I'm so sorry," he whispered. "I should've known. I'll go slower."
Pleased with how this strategy made his destination have so many lovely stops, he immediately set his mouth to hover above one of her nipples. He watched as it rose and pebbled beneath his breath and he traced a circle around it with his tongue to watch it harden to a perfectly pointed peak. She let out a sigh as he finally closed his lips onto the nipple in question and began to suck and nibble on it, just as he did with her lip only moments ago.
Melinda quickly removed her arms from what was left of the shift and placed a hand on the top of his head to hold him there. Then she used her other hand to trace the muscles on his bicep as it bulged while it held his body above hers. Jim's hands began different paths as well. One hand squeezed underneath her back to push her torso up until her breast was pressed into his face even more. His other hand untangled itself from her curls and found a new home squeezing her other breast.
One of his bites on her nipple was a little harsher than the others and she gasped at the surprising force and felt the breath rush from her. His mouth left her nipple with one more flick of the tongue and started to make its way across her chest and she prepared to feel his lips close around her other breast.
Instead, he lifted his head quite suddenly and stared down at her. He watched her chest, flushed with pink heat, rise and fall rapidly as she tried to normalize her breathing. He looked up and saw that her eyes were locked with his, dark and full of desire. Her lips were full and plumped from his aggressive attention earlier. They looked wet and delicious and begging to be kissed again, so he did.
Jim leaned down and this time he gave her a gentle kiss. Locking their lips together softly, he pressed into her mouth and kissed her with as much feeling as he could. She grabbed him by both of his cheeks and pulled him into her, savoring the taste of him. He used gentle hands to run down her body and pushed the rest of her shift off of her hips where it had settled. He moved to bring the fabric down her legs and then threw it behind him. She pulled her knees up to help him remove the shift and after it was gone, she spread her legs.
"Come here," she whispered as she reached a hand out to him to welcome him into her open legs. He responded by grabbing her hand and locking their fingers together and shuffling up to line himself up between her thighs. Pressing their combined hands to his chest, he remained on his knees as he used his free hand to pull up on her hip and he slowly pushed into her.
They both closed their eyes and sighed simultaneously as he filled her. She squeezed his hand tightly as he continued pushing in until he was completely inside of her. Once he was, she sighed again at how the feeling of taking him all in made her entire being feel full. Her heart and soul never felt as complete as they did when he was inside her. Thinking about this made a tear fall from the corner of her eye. He started with slow thrusts, wanting to feel every inch of his cock leave her body and then feel every inch as her heat pulled him in again.
They both moaned deeply. "Mmmmm." Melinda let out a groan combined with a whimper and felt the noise she made go straight to his cock. He looked down and saw her smile in pleasure and he almost came right then. He released her hand so he could brace himself on both sides of her head but leaned down to kiss her in replacement. When they made love, Jim liked to connect with her in as many ways as possible. It wasn't just enough to be inside of her, he wanted to be completely overtaken by her. And to have her completely overtaken with him.
They kissed for a brief time but both of them needed air too much as he continued to push in and out of her at a more steady pace. Both of his hands were still on the ground on either side of her face and so he used that leverage to grind his hips into hers in between every thrust.
"Christ…" He grunted as he tried to keep his pace. As much as his lower half was begging to just start rapidly pounding into her, he wanted to take his time. The noises she began making did not help him in accomplishing this goal. "Do you recall…" He pushed into her with slightly more force and he chuckled when she moaned. "When ye tried to tell me..." Another thrust, followed by more groans. "…that you didn't make all these noises?"
He insisted on teasing her about her and as much as she wanted to prove him wrong, he chose that exact moment to place his thrust right fucking there, and instead of coming up with a witty retort, she cried out with a ridiculously loud sound that was somewhere between a growl and a moan.
He gave a devilish grin of victory and Melinda should have been embarrassed at how quickly he was able to prove his point, but she honestly could barely breathe at that point, let alone think. Feeling high on the success of his conquest, Jim continued to grin largely, "Och. That noise goes straight to my cock, you know just what you're doing." He reared back and used his hips to push back into her in the same way, hoping to replicate the sound she had just made.
She didn't make the same noise but she did give a high-pitched moan and dug her nails into his shoulder blades. "Oh god…" She practically whimpered and opened her eyes to look up at him. He met her eyes and they immediately reached for each other's lips and kissed sloppily while maintaining their eye contact. She released his lips and pulled him toward her so that she could suck on his neck. "Please.. love, I need more."
If it were possible, he would press closer and closer into her body until he simply dissolved into her skin. He would gladly become a part of her if it meant that her body would surround him completely and absolutely. She would cover him like a blanket and he would, finally, feel completely safe and completely alive. As their bodies relaxed into each other more and more, their breaths also worked to calm themselves down. Melinda ran her hands through his hair soothingly even as she felt short of breath after climaxing, and from his tight grip around her torso. But she would lay there forever if it meant her husband felt better.
After many long moments of silence, Jim spoke. "I could feel my heartbreaking when he spoke about you…" he said quietly, his lips against her warm skin. "And then whenever I saw you, I felt so guilty for having ever put you in danger in the first place."
Her chest filled with warmth at her husband's honest words and she felt two stray tears fall. She grabbed his head to make him look up at her. His eyes were red and puffy but full of genuine love and she used her thumbs to wipe the tears from his cheeks and under his eyes. "You fix my broken heart, every day. You and Ella are the only people other than my sister that ever have."
"Thank you for being so patient with me." He sighed in relief and placed a kiss on her shoulder.
A few weeks later, they had arrived back in Scotland and only had a few days of traveling on the road left. Their entire group was ready to be back home, but Jim and Melinda both personally were chomping at the bit to see their daughter again. It had been nearly six months since they'd left and Ella would have grown so much, which was sad and exciting at the same time. It made the journey from the port to Avalon feel like it was taking too long even when they spotted the manor after two days.
Melinda watched the horizon bob up and down with the stride of her horse. Purple heather speckled the landscape and the smell of the grass comforted her: it reminded her of the fields back home. Drawing her eyes back to the road ahead, she watched Jim in front of her and smiled when he turned back to find her staring at him.
"Enjoying the view?" He teased her, slowing his horse's pace to allow her to come up flush with him. Her husband's sunny countenance proved to her the fresh air of his homeland had already done a number on their moods. She'd noticed the change in both of their gaits as soon as they'd stepped off the boat and onto solid ground back at the port—the ground being an especially welcome sight for her husband.
"Not as much as I will, later on, my love," she said over the heavy thudding of their mounts' hooves.
With the summer air particularly warm today, their horses' coats were damp with sweat; she could tell the weary animals would welcome a rest soon and that was likely the only reason they would want to stop before dusk. Despite their teasing.
"Oh I'm counting on it," he said, smirking at her.
"I see," she remarked, chuckling.
Once dusk neared, they pulled off under the cover of a cluster of trees to make camp for the night. Dismounting rather quickly, Jim crossed to her and helped her down before she had the chance to do it herself, and he gently kissed her forehead. That was when a sudden movement from the corner of their eyes interrupted their moment.
"Willie! Not like that!" He yelled and rushed off to stop the lad before he unlatched the entire saddle and blankets into the dirty grass.
Wiliam was still just a boy, she thought, chuckling a bit as she began grooming her horse soon after, she watched over the curve of the animal's back as Jim showed his nephew the proper technique to brush down the mare, following the pattern of her coat. The boy picked it up very quickly and was enthusiastically running the brush in confident strokes.
"Very good," he said. "But slow down."
William nodded and adjusted accordingly, with Jim's hand guiding him for another moment. "Like this?" The boy asked.
"Yes, like that," he said, pulling back with a proud nod.
She couldn't wait to see him be like that with their daughter as she continued to grow and their children to come. With that thought heavily on her mind, she quickly finished cooling down her mount and moved on to help set up their camp for the night as Jim and Daniel gathered their weapons and left in search of dinner.
Jim and his brother returned from their short-lived hunt just as William finished pitching all of the tents and Melinda gathered firewood. She prepared the fire, as they skinned the unsuspecting rabbits they'd managed to catch.
Soon, a stew of the meat and some vegetables they'd acquired was done and divvied out. A meager meal, but it would do until they reached Avalon tomorrow and could enjoy a better-cooked meal.
With the warm glow from the setting sun enveloping them, they all settled down to dinner. When the meal was finished, Jim had moved on to clearing the tin bowls and utensils and storing them back into a pack so Melinda went to their tent to rest when her own eyes began to droop drowsily.
Lying down on their blankets, she stretched her sore limbs. Days of horseback riding after months at sea were doing a number on her muscles. Once Jim had confirmed the horse's leads were securely fastened to a nearby tree, he returned to their tent as well, laying down beside her.
Wordlessly, she shifted to make room for him; his body once again next to her, warmed and lulled her heart further into a pleasant hum. His grunt of contentment as he settled down made her breath catch a bit. Simply relishing the feeling of him, she scooted closer to him, holding onto his solid chest and closing her eyes.
She felt him place a kiss on her head as his arm wrapped around her shoulder and they soon drifted off, knowing the joy of seeing their sweet girl was what lay ahead for them. And they couldn't wait any longer.