Awakening

She was at peace, resting on the mossy ground under a falling-leaf-light-tree outside of Ice-Water-Pack's territory. Seeing the beauty of the wild ranges was a good way to use a waking-cycle, not to mention that being away meant she did not need to see anyone from Ice-Water-Pack. It was not as though they cared for her anyway.

Motion caught her attention out of the corner of her vision. She saw, far away in the distance, a lone light wing who could not be anyone other than the Second-Watcher for New-Strength-Pack. He was a warm-livered male who was pleasant to talk to. They always spoke when they saw each other, and that let her learn some of what happened in his pack without even needing to go there.

She roared to get his attention, and he swiftly flew to her.

"Welcome, Second-Watcher!" she greeted him.

"Welcome, Skadi," he groaned.

"Is something wrong?"

"Much has happened in my pack since we last spoke. How are you?" he asked.

She shrugged, "Not cold or warm. What happened in your pack?"

"We have a new Alpha, and we were visited by dark wings and other things."

She gasped in surprise and amazement. New-Strength-Pack had a new Alpha now? The male she knew once as Second-Fighter was not the Alpha anymore? Good! How had that happened and who was the new Alpha?

Less important but still interesting was his mention of dark wings and other things. What were those other things? Maybe a different type of kin.

"What happened? Who is now the Alpha?" she asked.

"He died in an accident. His former First-Mate, your friend I think, is now our Alpha."

Red had become the Alpha? Was that good or bad? Regardless, New-Strength-Pack had a female for its Alpha. There was good in that, whatever else Red was.

She had enough questions about this news that she had a good reason to go formally visit New-Strength-Pack. At the very least she could help secure pack-peace with the new Alpha on behalf of her own pack.

"I should meet her on behalf of Ice-Water-Pack."

She arrived in New-Strength-Pack, announced herself, and landed outside the caves where the pack rested. She asked to meet with Red and settled down to wait while wondering what had happened. Several present packmates of New-Strength-Pack greeted her warmly and shared news, though she did not ask about the most important details.

Finally, Red arrived with a couple Fighters by her. Red considered her, ordered her guards away, and approached.

"Skadi. You are welcome with us," Red said.

"Welcome Alpha, as I assume you want to be called."

Red purred deeply and gestured toward the thick forest, so she followed her until they were alone.

"How are you, friend?" Red asked.

Was Red trying to get under her scales and dig in the hurt? Probably. She would do something like that.

"As if you care. You should know why I am here."

"Why else? What do you want to know?"

"What happened to him?"

Red yawned, "He and I were alone on a flight on the edge of our pack's territory. We were attacked by a stinging-tail hunter-kin. He killed the attacker, but he was hurt so badly he would not survive. With his last life-breath, he asked me to lead the pack in his place. Everyone in our pack was very chilled that he died, but they all agreed to me being the Alpha because he wanted it."

The truth was obvious.

"You killed him. Why? No need to lie or be false with each other."

Red shrugged, "If I were to get rid of him, I would only do that if I learned he was planning to remove me. If I learned that he was too dangerous and would turn on me eventually, then I might act."

She smugly purred that she had been right all along, "I told you so, but I am glad you learned before it was too late for you. What did he do?"

Red growled, facing the nearest light-rock, "He offered to make another female, a dark wing, his First-Mate. He would have looked to her first instead of me! That was not part of our agreement! He was asking for it."

That was an entirely understandable reason for Red to be angry. The ranges were certainly better with him gone. But this also reminded her of the other strange thing that happened. New-Strength-Pack had been visited by dark wings. Had she heard somewhere before that dark wings were gone or very few? Yes, Reflection had most recently mentioned that kin-kind.

"What are dark wings like? I have never seen one."

Red hummed, far more relaxed but still visibly wary, "They are very like us in shape, but a little bigger and stronger. There were five dark wing Far-Fliers, three males and two females, flying in a small pack. I think they were all kin and nestmates to each other."

To have so many kin and nestmates must be good and liver-warming. She did not know what that felt like though. Maybe it was not so good to be from a large nest. It would probably be loud and frustrating to not be able to find freedom easily and to have duties to others. No, having many nestmates was not likely liver-warming.

"What were they doing?"

Red continued, "They were flying to find new ranges some of their pack could live in, find mates, or just see more ranges."

"When was this? Where are they now?" she asked, very curious to meet the dark wings if they were still around.

"They flew from us several waking-cycles ago. They went toward the dangerous sand-range when they left. There was one other twisted part of their being here. They had their two-legs with them."

She tilted her head in confusion. Two-legs? Those had to be a type of kin that walked on only two-legs, but that did not feel correct. Were two-legs like spine-tails? Those kin walked on two legs.

"What kin-kind are two-legs?"

Red grumbled before answering, "They are not kin. They are... small creatures with no wings or tails. Their hides are pink under false-scales. We thought they were small dark wings at first. They only walk on two legs. The dark wings had to carry them around on their backs."

She gasped, taking deep breaths to slow her racing life-organ. The two-leg not-kin were different strange... other life, and she had never seen these not-kin before in any ranges. Sire-father and dam-mother had never told her anything about these creatures.

So why did the not-kin feel known? Why did it feel like a deep, hidden fear was creeping like a hunter in the shadows?

Deep breaths calmed her and let her thinking clear a little. She had surely never met or seen these two-leg not-kin before, but her sire-father might have. It was possible he had mentioned them, even if she remembered nothing of them.

"Skadi?" Red warbled.

"Sorry. Did you say the two-leg not-kin were using the dark wings?"

"It looked like they were. The dark wings thought the two-legs were a type of kin to them, but they had to carry the two-legs. Very twisted."

That the two-leg not-kin were using the dark wings for flight was chilling, but there was worse if she had heard correctly.

"And they had false-scales?" she asked.

"They did. Dark wing scales and other furs were like a hide they used to cover their natural hides."

Were the not-kin using dark wing scales and hides to trick all kin by pretending to be small dark wings? Were the two-leg not-kin being false?

Maybe Oldest-Knower or Alpha knew about the two-leg things. They might have heard news from Far-Fliers who met with other packs, if these two-legs had been to any other packs.

Regardless, they felt very important. Red did not know where they went, but others might know.

She stepped back from Red, "I should probably go and take this news to my pack. Shall I take word of pack-peace to Ice-Water-Pack for you?"

"Please do. I would not have anything change between the packs," Red said.

"My Alpha will be glad to hear it. I wish life had been different between you and me, but you made your choices."

Red yawned, "Life made me what I am. No one decides who or what they are."

"Think what you want. At least you can be a warm dam without needing to fear him."

"Not a problem anymore."

She blinked, wondering what Red meant by that, "What do you mean?"

"I smashed the egg he gave me."

Red had killed her own unhatched one?

"What! Why?"

Red growled, looking away from her, "Why would I keep his egg when he was false to me? What, should I have a hatchling that would always remind me of him and smell of him? No."

"Not the hatchling's fault!"

"That does not matter. My egg, my life, my choice."

"It was innocent!"

"It was guilty of being. I thought you would understand how bad that is," Red sneered.

She gasped, unable to bite back at those hurting words.

Red continued, "Yes! I know how your sire and dam left you and did not want you. The egg would have been no different. Better for it that it not be."

Was that true? Was it better to not be at all if the alternative was to live without being wanted or loved?

"You are a monster," she whispered.

Red began to say something else, but she had enough of being around her. Learning that Red had killed her own egg, probably just to spite her dead mate, was too much.

She spun away, took flight for Ice-Water-Pack, and flew as fast as her wings would carry her, never wanting to see her former friend again. The long flight back to her pack would give her plenty of time to think about all she had learned and how much still remained unknown, particularly involving the not-kin two-legs.

The kin were flying high under a very blue sky-water that filled the entire above while white floating rock-shapes flew above. Below flowed waters and many rocks growing up from the water. A great sky-rock burned high above and filled the whole world with warmth and light.

She spun freely with a roar and a glowing liver as the wind tickled her wings and pushed her higher.

Such a wide, big world compared to all she knew before! The kin were of different kinds: light wings, fire-scales, spine-tails, and others. All of them were flying her direction after having seen her flying. That was fine.

But as she got closer she saw something strange, twisted, and different: false-kin were on the backs of the kin. The true kin had furs and false-vines wrapped around them, all to hold carrying-things on their backs. There were strange vines and spikes held in the false-kin's paws.

The false-kin two-legged things pointed with their paws at her; the kin roared aloud in answer and started chasing her.

Closer and closer they flew as fear and surprise flared to life. She fled, easily able to keep her distance from them. But the cold in her liver was inescapable.

Why were they turning against her? How had she hurt them? What were the two-legged false-kin?

Her flight carried her over very tall rocks so much bigger than any in the world she knew. Far down below she saw a strange nest of the false-kin living among piles of trees shaped almost like caves. The nest was shaped in a clearing where there were no trees, almost as though the false-kin killed all the trees to make their nest.

The false-kin nest extended out as far as she could see toward the distance. They changed the whole range everywhere they went.

'You will know the Monsters and destroy them. That will be your purpose.'

She flew to her paws and shook her head of the twisted thinking. The sleep-vision ended as she woke up, but this sleep-vision did not fade at all. Rather, everything she had seen felt clearer, even though it was confusing. How could so much come from just hearing about strange life? How could she know anything of those two-legs when she had never seen them before?

She considered trying to go back to sleep, but eventually decided against it. Her liver and head were too disturbed to allow sleep, so instead she took flight and continued on with nervous strength and haste.

She arrived back in the familiar ranges where Ice-Water-Pack flew and lived. As usual, there were a few light wings flying here and there on their pack-duties. In the past she would go talk to them and learn if anything had happened in the pack, but this time she had no interest in doing that.

Instead, she flew straight on toward the central range and ledge. Oldest-Knower and Alpha were likely to be there, or she could find out where they were.

Alpha's First-Mate was speaking with Oldest-Knower when she got there. Both light wings called her down to land with them.

"Warm flights, Skadi," Oldest-Knower purred.

"And to you both. Do either of you know where Alpha is? There is something I must speak to him about."

Oldest-Knower grumbled, apparently noticing that she was bothered, "Is it a danger?"

"It might be. I flew to New-Strength-Pack and learned what happened there. They have a new Alpha and were visited by dark wings and other things."

Oldest-Knower looked very surprised and asked for Alpha's First-Mate to find him. First-Mate flew off, heeding the elder light wing's request for the Alpha.

"What is this about a new Alpha?"

"My former friend is the Alpha now. Her mate, our former Second-Fighter, died in an accident. My friend still wants pack-peace," she explained.

Oldest-Knower hummed, "Good to hear. Anything else?"

"Their pack was visited by five dark wings and… other things."

Oldest-Knower hummed, visibly curious, "What were the other things? What did they look like?"

"I did not see them, but they were smaller than kin, had wings but no tail, walked on two legs, and could take off their hides and scales! They were on the backs of the dark wings, like hatchlings being carried. Have you heard about those creatures?"

Oldest-Knower stared at her paws and grumbled softly, "I have not heard about those kin, or were they not kin?"

"They are not kin, whatever else they are."

Oldest-Knower stared into the distance for many wingbeats before finally shrugging, "Alpha has heard whispers of strange, new life in very far ranges. Maybe what you saw is what he heard about. We should ask him when he is here."

Alpha grumbled, his tail swaying at his side, "The dark wing flight was flying where?"

"They were at New-Strength-Pack before flying toward the hunter-filled sand-range. They probably need to fly through there to get to wherever they came from," she answered.

"Are you sure the two-leg life were not a new prey?"

"What the Alpha said was the two-legs were not prey to the dark wings. They were flightless flightmates that are not kin."

Alpha glanced at Oldest-Knower and then back to her, "Keep this between the three of us. I have heard from other pack Far-Fliers that there is a range very, very far from here. That range has some kin and many two-legs. What the two-legs are, I know very little. I only heard that they are not prey, they have no scales, they are not kin, and they come from the hidden world up above."

Oldest-Knower huffed, "That hidden world above is filled with danger, if the stories speak truth."

A hidden world above? Why did that feel familiar? Did it have anything to do with the twisted sleep-visions she occasionally had?

"What is that hidden world like?" she asked.

"None of us know much about that world. I only heard whispers," Alpha answered.

"What were the whispers?"

Alpha grumbled, "That the hidden world has one great light-rock and a water-ocean so high up that none can fly to them. There are patches of white cloud-mist in that sky. The ranges have no walls. Twisted, yes?"

Why did that sound very similar to her sleep-vision thought-pictures?

"Very twisted. Do we know what is so dangerous about the above?" she asked.

Alpha shrugged, "Again, I know very little. All I heard is that there is a danger or hunter which has spread through all the ranges of that world.

She started pacing, her tail swishing with her agitation as she thought. The two-legs came from the world she had never seen, but they were now in these ranges. And the two-legs were using kin to get around. Could the two-legs be the danger in the above? Yes? Yes! Maybe?

She had no way to know beyond doubting, but the two-legs she heard about were using the dark wings and were pretending to be kin. There was some danger in those actions.

"Do we know where the two-legs are in the very far ranges?"

"No, they are so far away that I never needed to know," Alpha answered.

Unsurprisingly, he was not concerned about something that would not directly impact Ice-Water-Pack. That was fair of him, even though it was not helpful now.

There was one way she might learn more about two-legs and find out what they were, but that was a very twisted idea. On the other paw, there appeared to be no other option.

She sat down before Alpha and Oldest-Knower, "The two-legs come from the above."

Oldest-Knower chuffed, "That is likely. What are you thinking?"

She took a deep breath and paused before answering. This choice was a very important one.

On one paw, she could stay here with Ice-Water-Pack and live her life in peace just as she had been since she found the pack. There was no true need to fly this possible flight into the above. She could close her eyes to the danger two-legs might be.

On the other paw, she was curious. The two-legs came from the above, and an inside-voice whispered that they might be a danger. The only way to know what two-legs were truly like was to see the above, to fly to the hidden world where two-legs came from.

She had no idea where the two-legs in the far ranges were, but they would be in the above for certain. Searching for them in the far ranges had no lift since she did not know those ranges herself. Further, following the dark wings through the sand-range was a very bad idea. There was danger that only a small pack of kin could defend against, and there was also another threat which could even be dangerous to her. Small-thinking kin and lesser life could be forced to leave her alone, but stronger-thinking kin could fight back and be a threat even to her.

She did not know the above either, but the two-legs came from that hidden world, so finding them there should not be a problem. Getting to the above was more difficult, but there was a way which only she among the entire pack could use. The one-tusked-kin, the very big one she met deep under the water, had been in the above. It swam deep into the waters of the above, found a water-path, and swam into the waters of these ranges.

She was a very good swimmer, the best in the pack, because she was not a pure light wing. Perhaps she could swim as the one-tusked-kin did, only she would swim into the above instead of from the above. There was danger in doing that, but she could ask the one-tusked-kin about the swimming-path if she could find that kin. It might even help her with getting to the above. It respected her, knowing that she was like her sire-father.

Learning whether the two-legs were a threat or not would help her keep the pack safe, and would keep all the ranges safe. Being a protector had always filled her liver with a warmth.

This was a purpose and a goal. Protection needed someone to do the protecting... as though the goal wanted someone to act. Could an idea want someone to act for it?

"Skadi?" Oldest-Knower warbled.

"Sorry, I was thinking. I know what I can... what I must do."

"What must do you?" Alpha asked.

She looked to each of them in turn before answering, "I must fly to the above and learn about the two-legs. I must learn what they are."

Neither of them reacted until Oldest-Knower leaned closer, "Why must you fly up there?"

"Because the two-legs might be a danger. I feel that in my liver. They come from the hidden world above, so I must go there to find them."

"But how will you get to the above?" Alpha asked.

"There is a way. I can find it."

"You are going to leave us?" he whispered, his ears fallen and tail stilled.

She got to her paws and sat down on the edge of the light-rock, "I must do this. This is a flight I must fly. No other in the pack can do what I can."

"But you will be out there in a strange world, all alone. Are you sure you must do that?" he asked.

She was not, but she was grown with all her powers. The pack had been like a second-nest in which she was safe, mostly, to grow. Now she was all grown and ready to leave, ready to...

"Yes, I am ready to fly on my own."

Alpha stepped alongside her and hummed with liver-chill, "Are you leaving us now?"

"No, I have stuff to do first. I will let you know before I leave. Can you not tell anyone else that I will fly? I want to not bother anyone."

"You are not a bother," he whispered.

Oldest-Knower sat at her shoulder and huffed, "We knew this waking-cycle would come when you would want to fly. Just remember us and think warmly about us."

That was probably the best flight-guiding she could get, but it was also not enough. Thinking about and remembering the good times with her sire-father and dam-mother filled the liver with a cold of distance and absence. The same was true of how she and the fledglings had lost their kinship. That the good needed to end and fade with no greater good coming after only left hurt. There was no peace from remembering the good in the past.

"That is all I can do. I will remember your pack while I am beyond."

She sat on the thick ice to wait for Blue to return from under the ice. He was on his fish-hunting duty this waking-cycle, and there was a small pile of fish as proof up on the ice.

She glanced at the familiar walls of ice and the rocks with their spikes of ice. It was twisted that this meeting should happen here at this very place. This was the same place she had come to find him and ask him if he was interested in her, and he had said no.

Maybe she had needed to meet him sooner, before he and Fifth-Far-Flying-Female noticed each other and started secretly bonding. No, even that would not have helped. He would never have accepted her, simply because she was not a pure light wing.

How stupid had she been back then to think she could be wanted?

It was not the first time that someone had not wanted her, even if sire-father leaving was very different. His leaving was just proof that there were more important flights than the duty to one's own little ones. If he truly had to leave for the good of all kin, then maybe it was the correct flight even if doing that hurt her. The needs of many kin were more important than the wants of only one kin.

The water was calm in the hole in the ice.

She could leave now without greeting Blue, but seeing him this time felt right. She and the other fledglings had been close in the liver, or she thought they had been. That goodness and warmth-sharing had ended. Maybe all such shared life-flights end because of necessary growing up and new flights. Growing up means that friends grow apart and do not need or want each other.

Talking with him before she flew was important as a way of ending something that had been dying for a long time.

Motion below the surface of the water caught her attention and broke her idle thoughts.

Blue splashed out of the large hole in the ice, pulled himself up onto the ice, and dropped a couple large fish in the pile on the ice. One of the new fish was dead, but the other needed to be hit a few times until it was dead.

"Warm hunting, Blue. You have a good catch."

"Yes, there are many fish here. You also taught me well!" he purred, dripping with water.

She forced a purr, remembering the many times they had practiced hunting and swimming together.

"Good, I will not foul your hunt or distract you. I wanted to let you know I will be leaving the pack for a long time. There is a flight I must fly on my own."

Blue stared in surprise and shook himself dry, "You are leaving?"

"Yes, I must."

"Where are you flying?"

She shrugged, "I do not know. Far from here. As good as this pack is, it is not where the winds of life are pushing me."

Blue looked rightly confused, probably because he never truly considered leaving the pack, so she continued.

"Please help the new pair who joined from Lone-Tree-Pack. He is still learning his role, and they want to make an egg. You should teach him what you know, so he can make the egg-making order."

Blue recovered himself, "Yes, Sixth-Fish-Hunter has asked all of us Fish-Hunters for help learning. I will help him as you helped me."

"Good. You have my thanks."

She stepped back from him and stretched her wings while she looked away from him. This probably should have been said long ago, but it only mattered now.

"I am sorry," she whispered without looking at him.

"What for?"

"For not being a good enough-"

Friend? Packmate? Possible mate? All of those together? It was hard to pin only one of those as being the most important.

"For not being good enough. Do you want me to take any of this catch back to the pack?"

He looked very confused and unsure what to say. Finally, he nudged the pile of fish with a paw.

"Please do. Warm flights, Skadi."

"I am sure they will be."

She grabbed a mouthful of fish and turned her flight for the pack. She flew swiftly without looking back at him.

Green and Yellow were resting together in the warm-range, as they usually preferred when they had time off any responsibilities. The pack was roughly split between those who liked resting in the warmth of the green range and those who preferred the cave above the always-frozen waters.

Green and Yellow looked like they were completely content, her resting under his wing and their tails entwined. They had grown so much in the time she knew them. Their initial twistedness at the thought of being mates had faded quickly after they announced themselves to the pack. There was no great need in their livers to get an egg soon, though they both said they wanted one eventually.

Were they truly as happy and warmed in their livers as they appeared? It appeared so on the outside. But it was possible that having a life-mate was not as liver-warming as it seemed. It was entirely normal for a female to take a life-mate so that she could gain pack-status, and for a male to take a life-mate so he could make an egg. Love was not truly needed for a pairing to work or make both in the pairing warmer. As long as both got what they wanted from the pairing, that was likely enough. Maybe it would be better for both to truly want the other, but that wanting was more likely to only lead to pain and disappointment.

She approached and barked softly to wake them from their nap. They both yawned widely and faced her.

"Green, Yellow, sorry to wake you."

"Do not be. We were going to wake soon anyway. Why did you wake us?" Yellow purred.

"To tell you both that I am flying away from the pack. I am leaving."

They barked in alarm and flew to their paws.

"Why?" Green asked.

"Because I must fly to very far ranges to learn something important. I must fly this flight soon."

Yellow stepped over to her and gently nuzzled her forehead, "Can you tell us why you must fly? Is this something for the pack?"

"Not for the pack. This is more important than only your pack. I learned about dark wings and... other not-kin things. I must learn what those not-kin are, so I must fly far away."

Green hummed, "That sounds like a fun flight. Do you want us to fly with you?"

"No, my flight is to very far places, and you should not follow. You probably cannot follow me anyway. Stay here in the pack where you are safest. Yellow, you have my thanks for teaching me about plants I had not seen before. Green, you have my thanks for the fighting-moves you showed me."

Green chuckled, "You are getting better. Being bigger than a pure light wing helps you."

She looked away from him. While he meant only well by what he said, he implied that she was not pure. Even he, after over three life-making cycles of knowing her, thought that she was lesser or fouled because of what she was?

Probably. He was no different from the other males of the pack: thinking less of her because she was a mixed-kin.

"True, that does help. Warm flights to you both."

"And to you. Do come back to us after you have learned what you must," Yellow purred.

She planned to do just that, even if the thought of coming back to this pack was less appealing in some ways. She could not be truly wanted here.

"Maybe you will have a hatchling by then!"

They both snorted and laughed.

"And you may play with it and entertain it if we do! We will want him or her to know that you are the kin who changed the pack and made it better," Yellow said.

Well, that was warming to hear that she was appreciated at least a little. She had done many things for Ice-Water-Pack, even things which most knew nothing about.

"I look forward to it."

The fledglings were receiving their waking-cycle learning from several of the Firsts of the various pack-roles. At their age, half-grown to being adults, they were ready to start learning about the various pack-roles they could eventually fill. While too young to know for certain what they would want, the three males showed more interest in the Far-Fliers while the lone female was more interested by the plants in the warm range.

There was only one of the fledglings she was truly interested to see. The largest of the males was calmly sitting on his haunches while listening to First-Fighter.

Ice, though no other thought of him with that name, had grown very well since his hatching. He was close to her liver, for obvious reasons. Maybe she had thought of him as her own, in a very distant and twisted way.

But he did not know that. She was nothing special to him, other than a different kin who lived in his pack. It would have been wrong of her to be pushy and try to take his true dam-mother's place in his life, so she had not done that.

Warm flights to you, Ice.

She spun away from him and slowly walked off while taking in everything she could see of the warm-range. The hot-misting pools of water, the long rows of mushrooms, the burning light-rocks, the flowers of all colors, and the warm nests where the eggs were sat.

While Ice-Water-Pack naturally lived in cold ranges, the warm range was where so much of their normal life happened. She had no idea when she would see it again. If she ever saw it again.

"Come back!" someone roared.

She had no time to react before a pair of growling shapes dashed out from between the mushrooms. They were the stinging-tail hunter-kin young, now grown to the size of a one life-making-cycle light wing.

Were they causing problems? Hopefully not.

"Stop!" she shouted.

The hunter-kin stopped at her shout and stared at her. As usual, they obeyed her whenever she ordered them, but there was something different about their awareness. They never spoke or seemed as aware as did light wing young of the same age. They understood enough to know basic commands though, so there was something good to say about them.

Third-Young-Watcher ran up behind them and growled softly at them.

"Bad hunters! What are you doing?"

They crouched down low, as if ready to leap at each other. They also waved their heads and small tusks, now the size of a paw.

"Third-Young-Watcher, are they causing problems?"

The hunter-kin lost their patience and started playing with each other. That was entirely normal for kin of their age, but with them it was possibly more worrying. No one feared that fellow light wings might turn on each other as hunters.

"Problems? I tell them to stay and sleep, but they run away and always want to play-hunt!" Third-Young-Watcher grumbled.

She faced the hunter-kin and barked at them. They paused in their rolling play and looked to her.

'You have been good so far. Stay good!'

"Remember, little ones," she whispered.

On a whim, she reached out and touched their life-fires. Inside their thoughts flew confusion, need for play and hunting, and uncertainty about the other-kin around them.

"Go sleep."

'You want sleep.'

The two young hunter-kin yawned widely and turned away as they waddled back the path they came from.

She faced Third-Young-Watcher, "Now they should sleep."

Third-Young-Watcher snorted, "I still wonder why we have them. They are so much work to watch."

Third-Young-Watcher trotted away to follow after the two hunter-kin. She watched Third-Young-Watcher go while wondering about the future.

It was not certain that the hunter-kin would learn how to live peacefully with Ice-Water-Pack once they were grown. If they could choose to live differently and have care toward light wings as kin to them, that would show that change was possible. Very different kinds of life could live in peace.

Oldest-Knower was perched on the edge of her cliff, as though the elder light wing had been expecting her to return. She probably had been waiting for her.

Oldest-Knower got to her paws as she landed, "Are you ready to fly?"

"Yes, I spoke with those I wanted to meet. You have not told any others, have you?"

"No, I and Alpha told none, as you asked."

"Good. Where is he?"

Oldest-Knower sighed and closed her eyes, "He went into the deep caves where the bones are."

"What? Why?"

She knew of no good reason why he would want to go down there.

"Ask him. I do not know."

With that, she leaned off Oldest-Knower's ledge and turned her flight toward the caves a short flight away.

She landed at the empty cave and strolled inside. This was the place where she had first slept among the pack in peace, not yet accepted as a packmate but being tested in various ways. The dark path at the rear of the cave and the faint wind flowing from within had captured her curiosity and led her to explore.

She continued along the dark path until the red light-rock came into view around the corner.

There he was. Alpha was calmly sitting on his rear beside the red light-rock. He surely heard her approaching but had not moved yet.

"Alpha?"

"Skadi, what are you doing here?" he calmly asked.

"I came to ask you the same question."

He briefly glanced back at her before looking away as his ears fell. He was silent for many wingbeats.

"This is twisted. Now I am the one who feels trapped. Remember the other time we met here?" he whispered.

She sat down beside him, "How could I forget? Why did you come here?"

"I come here to think and to remember. It is wrong of me, but I feel like this is my place. That is why I was angry when I found you here last time."

"What do you remember?"

He nodded toward a set of bones which had a snapped wing and broken neck, "Her. My... first little one."

She knew he would answer with that, so she asked just to hear him say it. She glanced at the bones, and, with a hide-itching feeling all over, looked away.

"This might sound cold or twisted of me, but that was many life-making-cycles in the past. Why do you still need to come here and see her bones?"

"You have not lost a little one. I do not know what else to do for her. I come here to talk to her, tell her about the pack, and remember the good times. Teaching her to fly. Showing her the tiny-wing flower-drinkers she liked to chase. Her asleep under my wing when she was small. I..."

He fell silent, his eyes closed. He said nothing else and did not move for a long time.

She rolled her eyes, "You should stop coming here. What if you used this time to be with your fledgling instead? Be an even better sire-father to him. What would she want you to do?"

"Be there for him. But it is not that simple," he groaned.

"Why not?"

"It is my fault she is dead."

"Your fault? Did you kill her?"

"By being blind... yes, I did."

"What do you mean?" she asked.

He faced her, but his gaze never left his paws.

"I was one of the Alpha's Fighters, and I had a power-place in the pack because of him. I knew he could be... cruel and twisted, but I did not believe he would ever hurt his own supporters. His wrongness would not hurt me or my kin as long as I obeyed. I even did things I now wish I had never done. He flew back to the pack after his thinking was rotted by what he ate. He attacked anyone who stood before him. I was afraid and could not move. She jumped between him and fledglings... and he attacked her... then I remember clawing open his belly, ripping off his wings, and biting out his throat. Then he was dead, I was the new Alpha, and she... was..."

"It was not your fault."

He growled, though there was no strength at all in it, "Yes, it is my fault. The sire-father must protect his own, but I failed her, and I must live with that. I do not know how."

"Maybe start by not being here with her bones. Do not be with the dead. Be with the living instead."

"Oldest-Knower has told me the same in different words. She suffered from him too, but she does not understand. You do not either, but I do not blame you for that. You do not know what a sire-father feels. The past is never dead."

There was nothing more she knew to say to help him. He blamed himself for not knowing about a danger to his little one. It was twisted of him to give her advice that he himself did not follow. He had told her to not think too much about the past, but he still lived in the past, wanting to keep his dead daughter in his life in a small and twisted way. Maybe he was not aware of that wrongness, or maybe he knew that his advice was correct but he did not know if it would work. Maybe his telling her that advice was also his own attempt to convince himself.

She sighed, "Why are you here?"

He paused before answering, "Because you leaving reminds me some of losing her. It is very different, yes, but part of me wants to think of you like her. As if you flying into my life-flight was another chance to help someone. Yes, that is twisted of me."

She agreed entirely that he was being twisted. She was not like a second-daughter to him, especially given the offers he had made in the past.

"You should be there for your fledgling from now on. That is what she would want you to do. I spoke to those I wanted to speak to, and I am ready to fly. Will you join me and Oldest-Knower?" she asked.

He glanced to the bones once more, got to his paws, and slowly departed. She followed behind him without looking to the bones. Neither of them spoke on the way out of the cave. There was nothing more that needed to be said.

They emerged in the resting-cave, took to the sky, and flew toward his light-rock. Oldest-Knower was perched on it, having flown down from her ledge, and got to her paws as they landed beside her.

Oldest-Knower faced her and purred, "So, you are flying now?"

She looked out over all that she could see of the ice-range from Alpha's light-rock: the spikes of ice, the distant waters, the smaller light-rocks, the other caves, and the passages which led into the other ranges of the pack's territory... and beyond.

The life she had lived since flying to this pack flowed over her like wind and the waters. Flying to the pack for the first time, meeting the fledglings who became... like friends, flying with packmates to Lone-Tree-Pack, sitting with eggs and hatchlings, watching the pack-order ceremonies, and so much more. New peace has been made with the other pack, life was saved from the teeth of hunters, and pack-ceremonies were changed to be better and more power-giving for the pack's females.

It was good and warming and better than the pack had been before. She had made a difference here. This pack was like a nest or den in which she had to live until the time came to leave.

All kin leave the nest once they are grown. They must once their time comes. This pack was not her place anymore. She was not accepted here.

"Yes, it is time to fly on my own."

Oldest-Knower hummed, "So you must. I hope you return to us once after you fly your flight."

She stepped over to the elder light wing, and rested her chin on her shoulder, "You have my thanks for all your good words and life-advice."

Oldest-Knower had endured a lot in her life-flight, but she always kept thinking about the good of the pack. That was very admirable of her, and was proof that she was strong-thinking and good to listen to for life advice.

She stepped back and faced Alpha, "Alpha, you have my thanks for letting me be one of this pack, and for trusting me. Please think about what I told you."

"I... will. I... we will miss you."

Maybe he was still confused about what she was to him. Regardless, what he thought did not matter anymore.

She chuckled, "There is a problem. What should I name you now?"

"What?" he grumbled, confused.

"You are not my Alpha anymore, so naming you Alpha is... twisted. Maybe the no-names pack-ceremony is another which you should think about ending."

Alpha shrugged, "We can consider it. I have never thought of myself as an Alpha over you. We have talked about that."

"I told my friends that I am leaving. Will you tell the rest of the pack that I have flown? The rest of the pack should know that I left for my own reasons."

He bent his head, "I will. May your flight be warm and may you catch the prey you seek."

With that, she stretched her wings wide and jumped from the light-rock, her flight set for the distant path which led out of the pack's territory. The deepest waters where she had seen the great-tusk were far out into the wild where no one went without reason.

As she passed by the familiar spires of ice, caves, and the occasional known light wing below, the truth that she was flying into the unknown struck her in the liver. This pack had been a place of safety, more than not, in which she had learned about herself, grown, and felt much.

While the pack was accepting of her and saw the usefulness of having her liver with them, they did not truly see her as one of them, which was not truly wrong of them. She was different.

Finally in the passageway which she had flown though on that first waking-cycle when she found the pack for the first time, she looked back at all she could see.

It was a good range for the light wings, but for her... it was too small. She had the last High-Alpha's life-water, and her settling down there always would have been a wasted opportunity... a smaller life.

Curiosity and a purpose hiding just out of pounce now filled her liver with fire and excitement! There was something very important about those two-leg things which came from the hidden world of the above.

The above was certain to be amazing, liver-warming, and very different from all she knew in her life-flight. Maybe there would even be some danger. Danger also meant opportunity. The truth was a very flighty prey which only the best and bravest hunters could catch. She also had her special powers to help keep her safe, so she was not worried about the danger.

Being alone was not a great problem either. She was very used to being alone. There was even a peace which came from not needing to give time to others or hear about their small, liftless problems. Being on her own brought fewer distractions.

Her life-flight was meant for something more than the normal, simple life the other females were happy to live. Taking a mate, being a dam-mother, and having a pack-role for the pack was too small of a life. She was not normal.

Normal lives did not change the world or matter anyway.