CHAPTER 1

It was five o'clock in the morning and Matt and I sat on the edge of our bed, holding hands and nervously waiting and counting down the five minutes it would take for the pregnancy test to process. I had gotten up to pee and Matt bounded out of bed with me. I already knew that the outcome would be positive. I clung to the hope that by some miracle a condom had broken and this was Matt's baby and not Jace Walker's. Either way, I would live my life as if it were. It was the only way forward if Matt and I were going to make it. I had no one to blame but myself for this mess. Using protection with Jace never entered my mind, believing all along that he was sterile. I know in my heart that Jace wouldn't lie to me about that. He seemed resigned to the idea that he would never have children, saying that it was part of the reason he wouldn't get married again. He was an honest man. I was the liar.

"Thirty more seconds!" said Matt, looking at the stopwatch on his phone. He squeezed my hand tightly and flashed a big smile. He was over the moon at the prospect of having another baby. He kept saying how this would help us to put everything that had happened in the past and start new. He was convinced that the next baby would help heal all that we had gone through. Over the past month, he had been even more thoughtful, attentive and romantic than he usually was. I was happy that he was being so upbeat and optimistic, but the tremendous bouts of guilt I felt hammered away at me. Morning sickness had started a couple of weeks ago, but I had managed to hide it from Matt until this morning. He was anxious for me to take a pregnancy test ever since I had told him I had skipped a period. Once he heard me vomiting, he was convinced that I had to be pregnant.

"Time!" he said. He sprang up from the bed, taking me with him. We walked into the bathroom and peered down at the purple and white plastic that encased the test. Matt picked it up and studied it closely. He looked at the back of the box, then looked at me. His beautiful lips curled into a soft smile and his blue-green eyes began to tear up.

"It's positive, baby. We're pregnant!" His mouth covered mine in a deep, soft, wet kiss before I could say anything. I clung to him, returning the kiss with equal passion. He suddenly lifted me up off the floor. I wrapped my legs around him as he walked back into the bedroom. He laid me down on the bed, hovering over me. He looked happier than I had ever seen him, except for the time I told him I was pregnant with Finn.

"I love you so much," he said.

"I love you too," I said. I ran my thumb across the small scar under his left eye. It was the scar he got on our senior camping trip. He was walking backwards and showing off for me on a hike through the woods. When one of the chaperones told him to turn around, he did and promptly walked into a tree. He ended up falling on his ass. The cut on his face was small compared to the bruise his ego took that day.

"What are you thinking about? It made you smile," he asked.

"I was remembering how you got this scar," I said.

"Senior trip. I got in a fight with a tree. The tree won."

"Right," I said, lifting my head up and kissing the scar. He turned his face slightly and pressed his lips to mine. I could tell by the urgency in his mouth that he wanted something more.

"Now I'm gonna ask you what you're thinking about. Hmmmm, Captain Casey?

"I'm thinking about fucking my beautiful, pregnant wife." A devilish grin crossed his face as he stared down at me.

"You kiss your beautiful, pregnant wife with that filthy mouth?" I asked in mock consternation.

"Oh, I do a lot more to her with this mouth than just kiss her. Let me show you," he replied. He gathered up the hem of my nightie in his hands and pulled it up over my head. He immediately sought my breasts, sucking each of my nipples into his mouth, making me arch my back off the bed. I held his head in my hands, raking my fingers through his hair until he moved down my body out of my reach. He placed kisses on my skin between my breasts, down my stomach, on my belly button and stopping at my hip bone. He hooked his fingers into my panties and pulled them off of my hips and down my legs, letting them drop onto the floor. He lifted my legs up over his shoulders and lowered his head between my thighs until his warm, wet tongue connected with my clitoris. I arched my back up off the bed as he made slippery circles around my sensitive flesh over and over again until I was ready to explode. He pulled his head away and stood up to remove his boxer briefs. His erection bounced as he moved, inviting me to take a taste of him. I sat up and took him in my hands.

"Your turn, Captain," I said, before sliding his length into my mouth. He let out a long, muffled groan as I cupped his balls and pushed him deeper into my throat.

"Fuck," he growled as I slid my mouth up and down his shaft. He grew harder with each pass of my mouth. I could feel him throbbing against my tongue. "Lay back, baby." I scooted myself back against the pile of pillows at the head of the bed. Matt quickly settled between my legs. The look on his face turned from one of passion to one of concern.

"You think it's okay to do this? I wouldn't want to do something that would…" I placed my finger on his lips to silence him, then leaned up to kiss him.

"It's perfectly fine, Matt. It won't hurt anything. Promise." He leaned in for another kiss, then slowly guided himself inside me. I let out a soft moan as he entered me.

"Okay?" he asked. I grabbed him hard around the back of his neck and pulled him down to me until our lips met.

"Your beautiful, pregnant wife wants you to fuck her like you said you were going to do, Captain. Now, get to it," I whispered into his mouth. He gave me a sly grin and began to thrust, moving in and out of me smoothly. My body responded to his immediately, my sex becoming wetter with each drive of his hips. His chest hair brushed against my nipples, making them stand erect and bringing me closer to orgasm every time he moved. I dug my nails into his shoulders as a powerful orgasm took over my body. He arched his back and grimaced as I ripped at his skin, completely lost in the spasms that were gripping me.

"Christ, Maddy...oh fuck," he grunted as he emptied himself deep inside me. He collapsed on top of me. Both of us could barely catch our breath as we laid there holding each other. I felt the warm wetness of his release between my legs as he slowly withdrew from me. I could see beads of sweat had formed on his forehead as he leaned in for a slow, deep kiss.

"You sure you're alright, baby?" His aquamarine eyes looked soulfully into mine. There was so much love in the way he was looking at me that I began to cry.

"I'm more than alright, Matt. I love you so much," I said as the tears spilled over onto my cheeks.

"I love you too, Maddy...more than anything in the world. Our life together is all I ever wanted or needed. You, me, Finn and baby Casey. The way it was meant to be," he said, wrapping his arms around me.

"Exactly...the way it was meant to be," I said. From this moment forward and for the rest of my life. It had to be.

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