Notes: An update, finally. This chapter took a lot of fussing and time to work out with how to start it and figuring out the middle before getting to the part that was written and has not quite changed from way back in the day when this story started. That part – a big moment that any readers might have been waiting for – needed some extra time and care to get in what I hope was just right for that face-to-face. Yes, Dean will be seeing Manda again, and learning some surprising news here.
So I hope that where this all went, what happens within it, all worked out.
Maybe it goes down exactly how you thought it would, and maybe not... please let me know if you liked/hated about any of it once you get to the end of the chapter.
As usual, please head on over to ao3 for the more adult version if you prefer to read it that way. A bunch of swearing has been replaced in here for this site. (Always feel weird about having Sam and Dean swear, but we all know they would have.)
All right, enough of my rambling for now... onwards to the chapter. It's a long one, so get comfortable. Hope you enjoy it and that it does not disappoint!
A couple miles down the road from Bobby's, Sam sipped on a coffee as Dean drove. Dean had made them hit the road early this morning after barely sleeping once they wrapped up a hard job. They'd been on the road for hours now, and his brother had been driving the whole time, not wanting to hand over the wheel. He yawned, wanting so badly to get out of the car, stretch his legs, and maybe get a few decent hours of sleeping in that wasn't done on the seats of the Impala and without the classic rock soundtrack he'd heard being cranked up whenever the older Winchester felt like it just as he had a few minutes earlier.
Dean looked over at Sam then flicked the radio down a notch. "Not enough beauty sleep this morning?"
"Ha," Sam scoffed. "Just tired. Bobby only wanted us to stop in after before the next gig, so we didn't exactly have to leave before dawn, dude. We're burning the candle at both ends with back-to-back cases, going non-stop lately… aren't you tired, Dean? When's the last time you slept for more than two hours at a time? Or four at most spread out over a few days?"
Making an odd expression, Dean took a moment to ponder it. It had been weeks, not that he cared much. He got what he could when he can and that had to do. "Whoa… I sleep." He made a face as he caught Sam's expression of disbelief. "Come on, I sleep here and there. So maybe I'm exhausted, too, Sam. But what else is new? And obviously I'm not the one who needs their beauty sleep. Ask anyone. I'm the handsome brother, brother." He smirked sidelong at Sam. "You're the geeky and freakishly tall, awkward-looking one in need of all the help you can get."
"That's just what you think…" Letting out a small sigh, Sam shook his head, feeling irritable. "So, Dean… how's that search for Manda going? Find anything that might tell you where she is yet?" he asked then, bringing up a topic one of them had been avoiding lately. He knew all about what had been occupying most of the hours his brother should have actually been sleeping more often than not over the last two months, but had chosen not to bring it up until now just to annoy Dean.
Eyes shifting back to the road, Dean clutched the steering wheel just a little tighter. He thought he'd been hiding everything well enough, but Sam had probably caught him at it once or twice and just not said anything. It was a sore spot at this point, one he wasn't mentioning, and his brother knew it. "No," he gritted a little too gruffly. Then he glanced back at Sam. "Someone probably taught her how to find a black hole. My money's on her grandpa. There's nothing, Sammy. Not a goddamn thing. She's better at disappearing than I wanted to give her credit for. It's like trying to find dad all over again. At least he kept his cell active so we could call him."
Sam heard the defeat in his brother's voice. That was new, and it was also as much as Dean would admit to the fact that maybe she was better at a few things than he was. "Lawyer's still heard nothing, so that's gotta mean she's still somewhere out there."
Dean's eyes widened before he looked at the younger Winchester with a raised brow and a careful eye. "How do you know the guy's heard nothing?"
"Asked Bobby. Did a little digging here and there myself, came up with zip. So, guess she's the better hunter in that regard," Sam said with a small grin. Then he saw Dean's irked yet scrutinizing look. "What? You didn't want to talk about it, haven't said one word about her in weeks either. But I know how you feel about Manda, remember? And she's still your soul mate... so that kinda makes her family, right?"
Making a face, Dean turned his attention back to the road. Sam had nailed it. "Kinda… yeah," he agreed. Then he fell silent for a few minutes. "But you could've just asked me, Sammy."
"And you could've kept me in the loop, Dean. It's me. I could've helped you look for her," Sam looked across the seat at his brother.
"You're in it now," the older Winchester muttered. "And look for what? There's squat all to find. Andersen, the lawyer, tried warning me, and I wasn't listening. Manda won't be found until she wants to be, and right now it looks like she doesn't want to be. So maybe it's time to call it a day."
Sam looked twice at his brother, wondering if he'd heard him right. "If it was me missing right now instead of Manda, would you give up looking? Even if it looked like I didn't want to be found?"
"No," Dean spat out harshly, casting a sidelong glance at Sam that said he knew better. They both knew he'd never give up searching for Sam if he just vanished, and how there was nothing he wouldn't do to get him back either. "How many times have you taken off and I've tracked your ass down now? I've lost count."
"A few," Sam answered with a short chuckle. "So don't give me any bullcrap about calling it a day, Dean. You're not about to give up on her anymore than you would on me."
Turning into Bobby's then, Dean stared ahead. "Been more than a few times. And I found you every single time, Sammy. Always will."
Noting the deflection, Sam knew what it meant. They were done talking about it, so he was willing to let it slide for now. "I know you will."
Getting closer to Bobby's house then, Dean's eyes focused on the vehicle parked near it. They widened briefly and relief flooded through him as took in the back end of the black Chevelle that belonged to Manda. He'd been aching to see that car for weeks now because she was bound to be with it. About time, Chambers. About goddamn time you reappeared, he thought to himself. "Speak of the devil…" he uttered, pulling the Impala to a stop behind her car.
Sam's expression was surprised as he recognized the car they were now parked behind. "Looks like you don't have to find her or call it a day." He looked towards his brother then. Some weight had already slipped away from Dean's shoulders. "Think she just showed up today? Bobby didn't mention anything about her being back in action."
"Probably..." Dean muttered, getting out of the car. He was already wondering why she'd chosen to come to Bobby and not him first. Then he worried that maybe Bobby hadn't said anything because he'd only found her car and had towed it here because she wasn't with it. That maybe all that waited inside was older hunter with bad news, not the woman he was missing the hell out of.
Sam got out of the car, watching as Dean walked up to the Chevelle and walked around it once. Then he watched his brother just fling open the driver's door and lean inside. "Dude, what the hell are you doing?"
"Nothing." Poking around for a minute, Dean backed out and then closed the door. He'd seen what he hoped to. Things he knew for certain that belonged to Manda, like the duffel bag in the backseat were still inside the car, which was a good sign in his opinion.
Sam looked at him questioningly.
"What? Just making sure her stuff's still in the car."
"It's her car. Why wouldn't her stuff be in it?"
"Because, maybe Bobby only found her ride instead of her and had it brought here. If it's something bad, he wouldn't tell me over the phone, Sam. You wouldn't either. You'll both put on the kid gloves, trying to break it gently because of how you think I'm gonna take it instead of just ripping the freakin' band aid off. And you should just rip it off, because the sooner I know, the sooner I'll go after whatever son of a bitch on whichever side it was that did something to her."
Sam just took one long look at Dean then. That's exactly what would happen. His brother would take it hard, and there'd be more than hell to pay for whichever side had done the deed. "Okay."
"Okay?" Disbelief took over on Dean's face. "That's all you've got to say?"
"So what? Now you want to talk about your feelings?" Sam looked at Dean with an unbelievable look. "We can do that if you want."
"No. Right now I wanna see the chick I've spent over two months looking for, then do some catching up with her after I hear what better be one freakin' good explanation for why she's been hiding from all of us, not just me," Dean stated, his tone serious even though he smirked just a little at Sam before heading up to Bobby's door.
Sam let out a short guffaw, realizing his brother was just having a moment, and he was more than likely about to witness another one. Manda was definitely in for an earful for disappearing on Dean before he would somewhat let her know how much he'd worried about and missed her. The younger Winchester followed the older one inside then, feeling pretty sure that's how things were going to go having been through it himself a few times.
[ - ]
Waking with a bit of a start on top of the bed in the spare bedroom instead of Bobby's like he had offered her the use of, Manda glanced at her watch realizing she'd been asleep for the last three hours. She hadn't intended to actually sleep for more than half an hour, but a deep, dreamless slumber had taken hold of her shortly after lying down.
That kind of sleep was getting harder to come by more often than not. Nights an angel wasn't poking around or threatening her in her dreams, she was dreaming about what the other side would do to her and her unborn child once they found out about it. She could no longer be sure the demons didn't know by now. The angels did.
Manda had tried everything possible to keep her pregnancy and her child's lineage hidden in her dreams, and she had succeeded until just a week ago when Zachariah had finally plucked it out of her subconscious. Now that he knew an unborn Winchester was on the way, it was clear all bets were off and that he intended to use it once he found her. And that bastard had promised her he would find her before she had woken from that nightmare, just letting her know she was far too valuable for them not to now.
No longer able to keep her pregnancy hidden anyway because she'd started showing right around the fourth month, with the angels now aware she was carrying Dean's child, there wasn't much choice at this point. She knew it was time to come clean, and that she'd kept it hidden from Dean long enough. It was time to let him know.
But that was only part of the reason why she had resurfaced at Bobby's that morning. Telling the older hunter wasn't just a test run for breaking the news to Dean, she needed his help with a few things once she did that. Having formed a plan over the last few days, one that was going to hurt like hell to go through with, it would almost completely ensure her baby's survival unless Sam and Dean couldn't stop the Apocalypse and the world ended anyway.
Seeking out guidance from a psychic her family had known for years, Manda now knew that damned warning the seemingly crazy woman outside that grocery store had given her hadn't been all that crazy. Castiel had been right when he'd told them all there'd be truth to it, and it was a truth she'd known from the moment she'd discovered she was pregnant.
Sitting up then, Manda was now thankful the older hunter had pushed her to get some rest in. It had done her some good, because she already felt better than she had for the first time in weeks even if she still dreaded so much of whatever was going to happen next. She'd needed the rest too, because there was a call to make now that the test run of telling Bobby was through. It was finally time to call Dean and let him know he was going to be a father. And then no matter how hard that was, or however he might take the news, she knew she was going to lose him after that.
Manda had made her choice not quite knowing the actual price at the time or that it wasn't going to be fair to anyone involved.
Softly rubbing her hand on her stomach, she sighed quietly and then got up to head to the washroom before going back downstairs to first grab a bite to eat and then she was finally going to call Dean.
[ - ]
Not bothering with knocking because he knew he really didn't have to anymore and Bobby was expecting them anyway, Dean flung open Bobby's front door and walked in feeling just a little hopeful and just a little pissed at the same time. Hopeful the female hunter was alive, okay, and had a good reason for worrying the hell out of him for over the last two months, and pissed because she'd left no trace for him to find her at all, that he'd spent over the last two months thinking she was probably dead, and that he hadn't been her first call or visit now. "Bobby?" he called out.
"What?" Bobby answered from his library, not giving away a hint of anything unusual. "You and Sam don't know how to knock these days?"
"We do," Sam called out.
"Why bother? You expected us today. I called you last night…" Looking around as he made his way through the kitchen first, Dean didn't see Manda. Only the older hunter was behind the desk in the library looking across at him. "So, um… is Manda here? Her car's outside."
"Hi, Bobby." Sam walked in behind Dean, giving an apologetic look to the older hunter as he come up beside his brother in the library then.
"No, ya idjit, that Chevelle of hers drove itself," Bobby sarcastically muttered. "Yeah, she's here."
Looking at the older hunter and then at each other, Sam and Dean both registered some suspicion. Bobby wasn't exactly acting like Manda had just shown up on his doorstep out of the blue after vanishing for months now.
"Well? Where she is?" Dean asked, making a look that said he demanded an answer.
"Upstairs. Sent her to get some rest. That girl needs it, Dean. So don't you dare run on up there just yet." Bobby's tone said he meant it as much as his face did. "You hear me?"
Sam looked carefully at Bobby then. Something was going on, because he wasn't saying much, and his face wasn't giving away a hint of anything either. "Is Manda alright, Bobby?"
Dean rolled his eyes. "Yeah, I heard you. But what the hell's going on? Don't give me that crap about how she needs rest either. She's been out of the game for months."
Bobby bit his tongue then knowing he couldn't tell Dean everything. The most important bit had to come from the female hunter because she definitely owed that boy that much in his opinion. "Yeah, Sam. Manda's okay." He shot a look towards Dean then that said he should have been the one asking as wheeled out from behind his desk to the side of it. "Not my story to tell, Dean. She's gonna have to tell you that. But you remember how her lawyer said she racked up a hospital bill?"
Nodding, Dean's eyes met Bobby's. If there was still something wrong with her he just wanted it straight. "What about it?"
"Couple demons spotted her. They got a hold of her... she got hurt some." Bobby was only going to tell what he thought he should. Right then he didn't envy Manda at all, because even though he treated Dean like a son, he knew just by looking at him that telling him he was going to be a father would hurt him like only a few things could.
"Demons?" Dean pondered with a harsh tone. "I kept thinking upstairs, not down, but they're still after all of us. So how hurt are we talking?"
"Enough that she needed to hide out for awhile. But again, not my story to tell. You'll have to wait until she's up."
Sam could see Bobby holding back on saying something, and he wasn't sure what was going on now. It sounded a little like the older hunter was trying to soften the blow of something worse.
"Bobby…" Dean eyed the older hunter curiously. "You know I've been looking for her from the minute I knew she was gone. Now you're not telling me something. So just spit it out or I'm going upstairs to find out what the hell's going on. Screw her nap."
"Quit acting like you were the only one looking. I've been trying to find her just as much as you have, kid. You know it too, so don't give me that crap. And don't you friggin' well climb my stairs right now unless you want your ass kicked." Bobby stared hard at Dean for just a moment to let him know he wasn't messing around. Having the older Winchester just barge in on Manda in her state while she was asleep wasn't something anyone here needed.
Sam saw the tension between his brother and the older hunter. "He won't." Looking at Dean, he nodded. "Manda surfaced, she's alive, and all intact. Right, Bobby?"
Bobby nodded. "Girl's in one piece."
"It's already been over two months. So what's a little while longer, Dean? She's here, and she's not going anywhere without getting by us first either."
Dean looked at Sam, sneered with irritation just a little, and then he shrugged. "If she's all in one piece, then what's the problem?"
Wheeling himself back behind his desk, Bobby made a face. "Look, we both wanted her to reappear, she did. Don't get all pissy with me because she came here instead of running to her soul mate first."
Rolling his eyes, Dean felt the sting from that. So she had picked Bobby over him first for whatever reason, and he had a good feeling the older hunter knew exactly what that reason was but just wasn't saying it. But she trusted Bobby, had her own long history with him, so it made sense to him as he thought about it then. He'd come here himself after being brought back from Hell. "She call you first? Let you know she was coming?"
"No," Bobby uttered. "Just showed up a few hours ago, banging on the door."
Sam knew Dean was only asking because he was probably a little hurt by the fact that she'd reached out to Bobby instead of him. "Did you get anything out of her about what happened, like why she needed to hide or where she's been?"
"A bit… but like I said…"
"It's not your story to tell," Dean said, unimpressed with the answer. "So what can you tell us?"
Completely unaware Sam and Dean were there, Manda was coming down the stairs when she heard more than one voice that sounded like arguing coming from his library then.
Stopping where she was mid-step on the middle of the stairs, it occurred to her that maybe she wasn't as safe here as she had thought. She trusted the older hunter without a doubt, but he hadn't said anything about anyone else showing up. It wasn't like he was known for having much company either. Hearing more than one voice quietly talking again, the nap now seemed like a bad idea no matter how much it had been needed.
Her guard went up and all her senses were on alert as she crept down the stairs a little quieter then, trying to make out who was there and what was being said from the library as she got closer.
"Why now? Where's she been for months? The Bermuda Triangle?"
Manda froze at hearing Dean's voice just as she rounded the corner and saw the backs of him and Sam. A friggin' warning would've been nice, Bobby… screw me, should've known this would happen, she thought. It figured they had shown up, her and Dean had always had that weird sort of connection where they'd run into each other or be close by when one of them needed the other.
"I'm not her keeper. Your guess is as good as mine. But, uh… why don't you ask her for yourself," Bobby said, nodding towards the doorway behind the brothers. Though you might wish she stayed gone, son. Not sure there'd ever be a time for this, but now's certainly not it.
Turning around, Dean tried not to smile as he looked at her face, but once his eyes swept down to give her a complete head-to-toe to make sure she really was okay, the relief he'd felt outside at seeing her car vanished as quickly as the grin forming on the corner of his lips did. His mouth dropped open a bit, and his eyes went wide with shock.
There was no way to hide it when her body showed the signs of it, and Dean knew every inch of her body well – but mainly it was her stomach's obvious baby bump that gave it away. So he blinked hard, hoping for one second that he'd seen it all wrong, but his eyes weren't playing tricks on him. Manda was pregnant, and in that moment he just knew that child was his because she wouldn't have disappeared the way she had if it wasn't. And even through his disbelief right then, she looked far enough along to him for it to make sense too. What he wanted most, what he dreamed about was really happening, and all he felt was dread about it right then. No! Not this… son of a bitch! No way… nuh-uh, no way she's… that I'm gonna be a… I'm dreaming, right? Gotta be, this can't be happening now.
Sam almost couldn't believe his eyes when he turned around, but quickly shifted his own surprised gaze from Manda to his brother. He read Dean's mortified look of shock that now twitched with outrage. Okay, Dean, it's not how you thought you'd find her. But… oh crap, he's going to lose it on her.
Manda took one look at Dean's expression and just spun on her heels. It was cowardly, but it was the only thing she could do after seeing him face-to-face and the way his eyes seemed to stab her with fury and pain. Believe me, Dean, this isn't how I wanted to do this either, but here we are…
Cocking his head as he just looked at the back of her now, it took Dean a second to regain himself. He never imagined this reason was why she was hiding, or how maybe she was just hiding it from him, because he saw the guilt that had washed over her when their eyes had met. But the way she'd just turned around on him hurt even more. The shock left him then as it was replaced with anger and a heartbreak that hit so deep he knew he couldn't shove it down. He heavily stepped towards her to close the distance. "Turn around, Chambers," his loud voice filled the silent room with its harsh tone and firm order.
Trying to take a step forward, Manda found it hard to move, feeling like she was frozen in place now, but there wasn't a chance in hell she was turning around to face him yet. He's about to blow a goddamn gasket, not that I can blame him... one, two…
"I'm not asking, Manda. Turn the hell around. Now!" he basically shouted right behind her then.
Flinching a little at the weight of his voice, Manda didn't want to be there any longer. Dean was not only hurt but fuming, and all of it was directed at her. She'd been dreading this moment just for that reason. She wanted to run, give him time to absorb it, and that was what she was planning to do now that she'd found her will to move.
Grabbing Manda by the elbow just as he figured she was about to take off, Dean tried guiding her into a turn but found she wouldn't budge an inch. She was standing her ground against him, and he sure as hell was going to stand his until she faced him because she owed him that much. "Tell me that's not what it looks like," he roughly growled.
"It's not. I just had a very big lunch," she sarcastically snapped, trying to pull her elbow out of his grip, but it only made him clutch tighter.
"Dean!" Sam called his brother with a hard, warning tone upon seeing the way he held on to the female hunter. Dean's grip was strong, his knuckles were beginning to whiten now, and if he was hurting Manda, she wasn't letting it show. But backing her into a corner now wouldn't help, and the younger Winchester knew it as much as the older one should have then even if this was too much for him to process.
Shooting Sam a cold look that told him to stay out of it, Dean continued to hold on to her. "Like what? An entire table at an all-you-can-eat buffet or did you order one of everything off a menu?" he retorted, sneering slightly.
Forcefully pulling her arm free of his grip, Manda finally turned and met his serious gaze. "No, but it was just enough for two." Her smirk was sharp and hard.
Her words confirmed it and hung in the air between them. And then his gaze dropped to her stomach before he met her eyes again. "Mine?" Stupid question, because I know that answer already. I need you to say it, but please, just please don't…
Her eyes just looked into his and all she saw was heartache. He knew without asking, didn't he? "Wasn't some guy a month and a half before you, and it sure as hell wasn't the guy three days before morning sickness hit. So do you really need the envelope, Maury?"
Dean's heart sank upon hearing her confirm it even though he'd known it with every fibre of his being. A small part of him would have given anything to be either one of those guys right now, but he wasn't, and he struggled to wrap his head around the news. "Hell are you thinking, Manda?" he yelled, but the pain leaked through his gruff voice. Whatever possessed her to do this now was beyond him, so was the reason why she'd kept it from him.
"That I shouldn't have slept with you over four months ago, Dean. But it's a little late for that now, isn't it?" she replied with a harsh tone.
Sam tried to stifle it, but the chuckle escaped. He knew she'd never really taken this kind of crap from Dean and obviously wasn't about to start to now either.
Bobby's lips twitched with a smirk at the way Manda handled her own against Dean. Knew it, no better woman out there for the job of being his baby mama. But that boy better smarten up or he'll get hit soon.
"Shut up," Manda and Dean ordered in unison.
"Okay, kids, break it up," Bobby finally spoke up then. "You didn't want this to happen then you should have kept your pants on, Dean. But she's right – too late for that. And Manda knows what kind of trouble she's in."
Looking at Bobby, Manda felt relieved to know he was somewhat supportive of her now.
"Trouble?" Dean scoffed severely. "That's not trouble, it's a death sentence." To him it was, and that was just the truth. When it got out that Manda was carrying his child, she would end up dead because of it. They'll kill you, Manda. Don't you get that? They'll kill you without a second thought and I won't be able to even protect you never mind stop them from doing it.
Sighing first, and then inhaling deeply to try to keep calm, Manda glared at Dean. As bad as this was for him, he was working on her last nerve of patience and maybe her last hormone right now. Maybe coming to Bobby's had been a mistake, but showing up at some later date with a baby in her arms wouldn't have made any of this go any easier either.
Sam approached, figuring it was time to play referee between them. The female hunter looked ready to snap, but she was holding herself together. "Manda, who knows about you being…" he trailed off, looking down to her stomach, unable to say the word. Pregnant, guess none of us want to say it out loud. "About Dean being…"
"You're looking at 'em," Manda answered, meeting Sam's eyes now. She didn't yet dare to mention Zachariah knew. "You know I kind of dropped off the grid. That way no one would find out so easily."
Dean just stared at her with disbelief. "Kind of?" His voice took on a cold, hard tone. "I thought you were dead, Chambers. You friggin' disappeared like you jumped into an alternate universe. Least now I know why. Were you even gonna tell me?" You weren't… oh goddamn it, you so weren't gonna tell me at all, he yelled inside his own head, feeling utterly broken by that thought.
"Eventually… you think I wanted this?" She met his pained look with one of despair as her eyes welled just a little more for how he was digging into her. Don't even, please don't say it…
Scoffing, Dean didn't and couldn't believe her. He knew how she'd felt before this… how he'd felt too. "Sure looks like it. You could have…" Not done this… stayed missing… called me… told me… The thoughts of how to finish that sentence never made it past his lips because he wasn't sure how to say any of them, or which one he had wanted her to have done the most.
There it was, what she known he'd say, and the anger was hard to keep in as she cut him off and shouted, "Don't you dare tell me what I could have done. I know exactly what I could have done. Like not have bothered to fight back and just stayed down to die when three demons tried to take me out the day after I peed on at least three friggin' different sticks to confirm it. That would've just solved the whole problem, right?"
"Dean, Manda…" Sam started, seeing Bobby just shaking his head at him to stay out of it for now. Whatever fight was happening between them had to happen, he knew that. But neither was going easy on the other here. He knew Dean was more than a little hurt and lashing out at her for it, and Manda was just not having it. But the things they were saying to each other were obviously hitting so hard and so deep he wasn't sure his brother and the female hunter would be able to get past it later.
"Sam, stay the hell out of it. This is between me and her," Dean warned harshly. Then he looked back at Manda. "World's going to straight to hell in a hand basket and you just want to tie the bow for it, add mom to your list of things to do right now? Get yourself beyond vulnerable in the middle of the Apocalypse?" His tone was as hard as his stare, and he knew it was cutting into her.
Throwing the nearest book on his desk at Dean, Bobby held in a smile when it hit him. "Boy, are you just plain dumb or what?" he roughly asked.
Dean barely had a moment to glare at Bobby before he got the older hunter's look of warning reinforced from his brother – both of them silently telling him to watch his next step. He was already on a thin line with the female hunter who was highly emotional right now.
Manda closed her eyes for a split second, willing herself not to completely lose it then. "I didn't do it on my own, Dean. And it wasn't an Immaculate Conception either, so this," she paused, using her index finger to trace a circle around her stomach, "being a mom wasn't on my list of things to do. Do you really think I wanted it to happen now out of all times? That I wanted to do this with you now when I know exactly what you're up against?" Her voice had gotten louder and harder, her stare was cold and piercing, because if Dean thought for a second she was backing down now he had another thing coming.
"Enough! Manda, sit down and take it easy for a minute," Bobby ordered her firmly. She was getting so upset and worked up that it made him tense. His fatherly side was kicking in wanting to make sure she wasn't going to cause herself more stress when she was already swimming in it. Or maybe she was drowning in it at this point. Either way, it was over her head and it couldn't be any good for her or her baby.
"Bobby's right, maybe you should sit down for a little, cool off." Sam agreed as his eyes wandered to Dean again, his look pleading with his brother to cut it out now.
"Why? I'm only pregnant, not completely freaking fragile," she sharply groaned.
Finally hearing her say it out loud was a slap in the face for Dean. Why couldn't she see it was basically the same thing? It was now too easy for her to get hurt or worse – like end up dead. "Could've fooled me. That's one and the same in our line of work, sweetheart. You can't hunt like this, and you can't exactly protect yourself with it," he paused, gesturing to her stomach, "slowing you down and being in the way soon."
It? The word stung as it screamed in her mind. That "it" is our… my child. "Really?" Manda asked, her eyes holding the challenge in the question. "So being in this condition might slow me down a little, I still know how to fight and protect myself. Being pregnant doesn't change that. If anything, it's made me a little more cautious."
Scoffing, Dean met her challenging stare. Manda just didn't seem to understand that protecting herself would be next to impossible now. If and when word got to Zachariah or whoever else wanted him destroyed – she was dead, just dead, no ifs or buts allowed. She was now a target they would not miss. "How can you do this?" And just how the hell am I supposed to let you be out there alone like this? You won't make it much longer on your own this way. What the hell did I do to you, Chambers…
"How can I not?" Manda's voice broke as she tried to yell back. Didn't Dean understand that regardless of how much she hadn't wanted to do this now a part of the life that was never supposed to be theirs had worked itself into this one? Sure the timing sucked, and the situation wasn't ideal, but this baby was part of both of them, and part of what she'd always wanted one day. Because this kid is half you, and I love you, Winchester. You know that even if you hate me right now.
"It's a mistake." Dean hadn't thought about what he was saying, but as soon as it left his mouth he knew he regret it.
Manda didn't hesitate to think, she just acted. Her fist made contact with Dean's face at full force. "Take note now, baby, sometimes your daddy is a total ass."
Sam's eyes widened as Dean's head snapped to one side and then as he landed on the floor. Manda had just sucker punched his brother and taken him down with one shot proving how wrong Dean was. Dude… you asked for it. You just called it a mistake, and she's hormonal. Nice going, Dean.
Bobby rubbed a hand over his face to hide his grin. He wasn't surprised, because saying what Dean had to her, he'd had it coming, and the older hunter wasn't feeling sorry for him.
Dean stared up at her from the floor, not quite believing she'd just decked him good and hard. Or that he'd ended up on his ass on the floor from it. Sh-she's not possessed this time, and she actually punched me… Okay, maybe you can look after yourself still. Feels like you broke my face. Damn, that hurts.
"Looks like I'm not entirely useless with it in the way… oh, and in case you care to know at all, that mistake is doing just fine. So am I." Manda's voice was bittersweet, but tears were already silently spilling down her cheeks as she didn't even bother to look down at Dean before she turned around and ran out of the room.
Crap! I didn't mean… it's not… damn it! Talk about completely catching me off guard here, Manda. What did you want me to do? Jump for freakin' joy? I kept thinking you were dead or hurt, not knocked up with my… with my-my kid. Dean scrambled to his feet as she took off, but couldn't bring himself to tell her to wait. And then it was too late. She was gone, and a door slammed shut somewhere in Bobby's house with a crashing bang a few seconds later.
Bobby closed his eyes, cursing in his mind, before he reopened them. He quickly went about pouring a round of three shots then. This wasn't exactly a call for any celebration, but they could all use something to help swallow the shock.
"Well that definitely answered a few questions…" Sam looked stunned for a moment, and then he looked at his brother. "Hmm, wondered when this day would finally come, just never thought it'd be now."
Yeah, neither did I… "Don't, Sammy. Just don't," Dean growled. He gently rubbed the spot on his cheek where he'd been punched. It still stung, because that punch had been almost as hard as the blow of learning about her pregnancy. "She…"
"Decked you good and hard," Bobby spoke up then. "What did you expect? Manda's barely able to swim in this crap storm now and she needs no reminding, Dean. But you couldn't help yourself just like you couldn't the last time you were both here. Took two to tango, and you're the one she tangoed with, genius."
Brow furrowing, Dean shook his head. The older hunter was just giving him a hard truth to rub it in. "Knock it off, Bobby." His tone was a warning that he just didn't want to hear it now. He'd had enough.
"Bobby's right." Sam's look was unsympathetic, even if he felt sorry for his brother for having yet another thing added to his already beyond full plate. "Manda had every right to punch you. Mistake, Dean? Really? It didn't occur to you that she might take it the way you made it sound?"
The regret of the word stung Dean, but he'd said it and now couldn't take it back. This was all just too much, and now he had no idea what more he could handle as both Bobby and Sam laid into him over it.
Defeated but unable to show it, he shoved down the mess he was becoming over it now. Then he shot Sam a look of warning. "Leave me alone, Sam. She's pregnant with my kid, and I just-I can't do this…" Dean stopped himself from saying anything else, ignored the looks both Bobby and Sam were giving him as went to get the bottle off Bobby's desk before walking out of the room and then the house before he broke down in front of them. Even if I wanted to…
Notes: There was a lot to cover in this one, and I hope I managed to get it all in and just right.
Having Sam and Dean have a bit of a brother moment to start off with was what I settled on after a lot of thought. And as always, I hope I kept them in line and not too far out of character here.
There needed to be a little more insight into why Manda surfaced at this time... so a hint of what is going on was dropped.
Now the dialogue between Bobby and the boys was a bit difficult in this one. So again, hope I got it right. Having Dean press for more information and Bobby not give too much away seemed like the right call here. Even with Bobby getting a little harsh with him.
And then there was the face-to-face, which was tricky. My beta readers back in the day loved where I had taken it in this one, including the punch, so I kept all that. Dean said some awful stuff because of how hurt he was here, and he totally deserved that punch. We all know he can be harsh and cruel at times... look at his fights with Sam. Now, Manda said some awful things back, because that's how they've always been with each other from the first story. Now those two obviously have some things to work through... if they can find a way to talk to each other.
So Dean did not take the baby news well. That really felt like the way to go with him because of everything else going on at the time – hello, apocalypse happening and trying to save the world – and despite him always wanting it or dreaming about it, I couldn't see him even feeling remotely happy about it. Also felt like he'd be an extra bit of a jerk because she was keeping it from him.
Everyone got to have quite a bit of thoughts in this one because I felt that made it just a little more intense but also helped show how they were all feeling during the moment.
Lots more to write for the next one... but hopefully this one was up to par and you enjoyed it.
Thank you as always for taking the time to read it. Please let me know what you think – feedback is always good and always welcomed.
Will try to get the next chapter up as quickly as possible.