This chapter... I usually have a plan for what happens in each of them but this one I did not stick with at all, like nothing mentioned in this chapter was meant to be written but I am keeping it because of the direction it takes the story. This is probably the darkest chapter of the book so far (imo) and honestly, I have no-idea how it got this dark. So, here is a chapter dedicated warning. Please, Please, Please read this with caution. Please.
I am also so sorry for how long this has taken to update. I haven't had the time now that I am officially Year 12 and starting my A-Levels (if you're british you'll understand) so my updating schedule has gone out the window. I will try to update more if I can :).
Well done to everyone out there struggling with things they don't talk about. Well done to everyone who wakes up everyday even if they don't want to. You can do this :)
Rating: M; 18+ (I can't exactly moderate whether you all read it or not but I hope you read with caution and understand the weight of these topics and the severity following them all)
Warnings: talk of past emotional and physical abuse, self-harm, graphic depictions of self-harm, substance abuse, foul language, talk of depression, anxiety attacks, talk of anxiety, mild suicidal thoughts. (for the whole book not for separate chapters)
Disclaimer: A) All these characters are OOC, I also own nothing. RIB own Glee and the characters.
Please read this with caution especially if you get easily triggered from topics like this.
Xavier Smythe was a man with many accomplishments. He was the State Attorney, he had a loving wife and family with 3 kids (those of which he still talks to) and he had all the money in the world. He really had it all. But he still wanted more. He was ambitious, driven but most of all, hard-headed. The moment he set his mind on something he would not be steered away from his goal. That was probably why he didn't even attempt to humour that scummy music teacher and he and his friends left half-way through their performances.
He remembered what had happened back when that old lady, who smelled like piss and this weirdly expensive Dior perfume he was certain contained some form of cat faeces to make the colour of it brown, approached him with a proposition, one he simply couldn't turn down. He had seen her on TV prior to her visit so he was fully aware of who she was. Sue Sylvester was very easily recognisable after her first 'Sue's corner' was released.
'I have connections', She had started off with, walking into his multi-million dollar mansion, waltzing around as if she had bought the place herself and he was the one trespassing, 'I can get you what you want if you get me what I want'
He remembered looking at her in amusement. How could she of all people give him total power and control?
'I know what you did to that son of yours,' She had added, smirking as he flinched, 'Sebastian's a good kid. Rude, sometimes a bit snarky but a good kid'
'What do you want, Sylvester?' He had asked her, his patience wearing thin. He crossed his arms over his chest and looked at her expectantly, an eyebrow raised.
'If you support and fund my campaign to abolish all of the performing arts programmes in every school curriculum in the Ohio state, I won't tell him why you walked out'
Xavier had rolled his eyes at her idea. The reason he walked out was nothing in comparison to what she wanted. Besides, it wasn't exactly a secret why he left. He made sure his ex-wife was abundantly clear with why he had took off a couple months afterwards.
'I'm going to need something more,' He had explained, a slight smirk on his face, 'He knows why I left. There ain't no hiding that I don't agree with his sexuality at all'
Sue had cackled, assuring him she knew something of greater value.
'Oh, so you're denying that you allowed for your disgustingly handsome and very well-connected friends to be inappropriate with your son because of his sexuality?'
That's what made his blood boil.
How she had discovered that kind of information when his own son didn't even know that it had happened to him. He knew that information like that would be eaten up in all forms of media. His reputation would be ruined, plus no amount of favours he could call in would be able to save him from the inevitable jail cell he'd see if it every surfaced.
Grumbling softly, Xavier admired his office. It was similar to the Commons at Dalton, he realised. It was entirely made of wood. The walls were a mahogany with a light brown tint and the floor was made with black oak wood. The lone, red carpet in the middle looked so out of place yet it brought the whole room together. Without that damn rug, the room would be suffocating.
He slowly climbed out of his black office chair, a gentle smile on his face as he noticed someone at the door, standing patiently.
"Daddy? Mommy says Dinner's ready," They said, smiling innocently.
Xavier approached his youngest daughter, crouching down to give her a peck on the forehead.
"Well, let's not keep your mother waiting, shall we Bella?" He said, gently hoisting her up to his hip and they headed towards the kitchen.
The Auditorium was empty. The New Directions and The Warblers had just held their final group meeting before splitting back into their respectful show choir groups. It's not like that mattered anymore, though. The arts programmes in the entire state were being removed, effective immediately.. at least, that was what Principal Figgins and explained to both Sue and Will in his office earlier.
Everyone else had left, sitting in the Choir room for one last time.
Sebastian was stood on the stage, completely numb. His eyes hadn't left the seat where his father was sat. His mind had completely shut down. This was all his fault. Why was he always the reason everything fell apart?
The Warbler Captain slowly sat down on the stage, his legs feeling like they were going to give out at any second.
Why did he even agree to help them? It's his father, the man they were trying to convince, and yet they used the person he hates the most to try and complete their mission. They were fucking idiots. The teen didn't have it in him to blame them, though. I mean, how are they supposed to know about his and his father's severely estrained relationship? He should've told them. It's always his fault.
Sebastian's mind began to wonder away from the scene.
Everyone would suffer because of him. They would all lose their favourite things to do, all because of him.
He's the reason.
Maybe none of this would've happened if he wasn't here.
Maybe they'd all be happy.
If he just vanished from the face of the earth then none could blame him anymore.
He'd finally be rid of this heavy burden.
He'd finally be free...
His dad would finally be freed from the wrath of his faggot son who was tearing his reputation down.
He was an arrogant jackass.
No-one would miss him.
He'd be reliving them from collateral damage that always stems from the drama that follows him.
Sebastian's head hurt. It ached. But, he was always aching. Aching from Lacrosse; Aching from the discipline his dad used to give him; but this time, he was aching for something.. More like he was aching for someone to save him. To save him from the hell he was living in.
Then it dawned on him.
His only escape was to die.