A/N: This epilogue took me longer than it should have had. But when I did finish writing it, it turned out to be so long that I had to split it into two chapters. Also the rating has gone up from T to M, so beware and enjoy!*wink*
Thank you from the bottom of my heart to anyone who has read this story and a special mention of gratitude for Meredith for sticking with this story. You are the reason I could go on with the epilogue. Thank you so so much.
Look closely at the present you are constructing.
It should look like the future you are dreaming.
-Alice Walker
"Hey, wake up!"
"Go away.."
"You know that's not an option anymore," Casey whispers, nuzzling her nose on Derek's earlobe.
"Urghh five more minutes."
"Well, I'm literally going to drag up your sorry ass to give me the surprise present you've been talking about for weeks ."
Derek turns his neck lazily, facing Casey on his bed, their bed. She is lying on her belly, naked, propped up on her elbows, the bedcover sprawled loosely over her legs. She glows like the first rays of a rising sun, her aura gentle and calming.
He takes in her strayed brown locks, her eyes still heavy from sleep, her soothing smile, "How long have you been up?"
Derek raises his head and grazes his lips against hers.
Humming in appreciation, she momentarily forgets what it is that she's supposed to answer. As Derek lies his head back down, she runs her fingers slowly in his hair, "Long enough to stare at your bed head."
She kisses the corner of his mouth and puts her chin on his chest, basking in its rise and fall.
If she has to choose the favourite part of her days while living with Derek it would be the mornings. They are still in their bubble yet they know they'd have to face the world soon. Heading into work has become much easier when she can start her day with a kiss from him. Well, technically there are several kisses, slobbery, messy and never-ending ones.
Today, however, she does not need to worry about work. Derek has made her take a leave in the middle of the week. His reason was that he wanted to give her a surprise to make up for being an absolute dick to her in the past. Casey had argued that there was absolutely no need to do that but she would be lying if she said that her heart didn't flutter at that prospect. So she has been all hyped up for this present for several days now, badgering him to tell her what it is. But he would not budge. Not even when seduced with kisses or tempted with food or threatened with no sex for a week.
But Casey is not one to give up either. She moves her body on top of his, rubbing her midsection against his in a slow insistent rhythm, "So do you want to tell me now, why is it that I had to cancel my client meeting to take a midweek leave today?"
Derek grabs her hips with both his hands to keep her in place and raises his torso to match her rhythm. He meets her at her own game, suddenly wide awake.
"Mmm maybe so that I can take advantage of you? Or..." he rubs his hard on against her, "so that you can take advantage of me?"
As her head starts getting dizzy, she has to grip his shoulders to stay focused. Seducing a pro like Derek always comes back to bite her in the ass. But damn her if she would let him know that.
"Oh is that so? What would you say if I said that you aren't that... interesting, you know?"
"No, I don't know," he moves one of his arms to tangle it in her hair, pulling her head to him, "Tell me."
"Not interesting enough..." she tries to turn her mouth away from him to finish the sentence, "for me to take advantage of you."
"Oh," Derek loosens his grip on her all of a sudden. He knows Casey is playing around, but his ego gets heart by her jabs now and then nonetheless.
But he has good strategies in place for these situations. He lets her have her way. The tension and their banter are what Casey desires and as soon as he gives in, it frustrates her to no end. Derek, on the other hand, takes particular pleasure in watching her win and getting disappointed over it.
"Oh?" she queries, definitely not liking how he has succumbed to defeat so soon, "That's all?"
"Yeah, I get it. I mean I am old and have lost my touch over the years," he gives her a dry chuckle, not engaging in touching or rubbing against her anymore, "I understand you are not that attracted to me, anymore."
"I am actually quite attracted to you," Casey leans in to kiss, still lying on him.
Derek turns his face away from her, "No, no. You are right. I'm sorry Princess that you're trapped with such a boring old douche now."
"You are plenty attractive," she says attempting to catch his mouth, growing desperate very fast very soon.
Derek cannot stop the smile that unwittingly forms on his face.
Not a smirk, a smile.
The realisation hits him like a train that there is no way his old self would have let go of such a good chance of smirking at his partner. But with Casey, everything is just so transparent. He can't fake it for long even if he tries to. Thus he now reserves his smirks for very special occasions.
Casey peers at his smile with suspicion. It becomes clear that Derek has been playing lame tricks on her. That bastard. He has the audacity to evade her kisses while using reverse psychology on her. Derek is clearly meddling in dangerous water and Casey needs to make it clear who is in control.
She reaches out her palms on either side of his face to grab him and keep his head steady. The kiss that she proceeds to indulge him in is equal parts hungry and filled with frustration. The initial grazing of teeth on his lips gives way to a bite that causes Derek to hold her waist again and dig his fingers on her back.
That gives Casey extra fuel to deepen the kiss. Every vein in her body feels like they are on fire as her controlling persona takes over. It makes her almost dizzy to realise how good it feels to have a man to herself who can be smug and yet in the next moment can devote himself all to her mercy.
Derek does not know when their banter ended or to be honest what even they have been talking about. All he knows is the profuse joy he feels when Casey kisses him thoroughly, her loose hair framing his face, her body entangled with his. His morning lethargy having been replaced by sparks of endless zeal, he realises if he had the chance he could lay there kissing and teasing her, in an infinite loop. To hell with work and the world.
The trance Casey has cast by kissing him like she wants to consume all of him gets broken when she abruptly pulls her head away from him. Derek raises his head that very instant to kiss her again, holding on to her waist still. He would never understand why she likes to break a kiss just like that, probably to give him a lecture about a random insect again.
Derek rolls his eyes, just as Casey puts a hand on his chest to sit up. The still-burning flame in her eyes makes him stir with anticipation.
As Casey peers at his yearning eyes, she decides that they are now even. Well almost. Still straddling him, she slowly gathers all her hair on her left shoulder. As she does so, she makes sure to stretch every muscle on her upper body, giving him a show of her jawline, neck, breasts, belly. His eyes inevitably travel to every part on which her fingers graze her own body while bringing her hands down from her hair as if she leads him by his nose. His intense gaze on her causes Casey to shiver but she manages to keep up a straight face.
Leaning forward, Casey whispers in his ear, "Do you think your old bones can handle this?"
Well if Derek thought he could outsmart Casey, then he has been highly mistaken. He can now only stare at her open-mouthed, not in a state of mind to respond as she sits straight back up on him.
She traces a slow finger on his entire hard length and observes his face as he closes his eyes shut in the pleasure of her touch and in pain of having to wait. With every stroke of her hand, he feels like he would erupt. The banter, the teases, the sensuality suddenly proving to be too much for him. Or maybe it is just Casey and the fact that she could invoke so many intense sensations in his body just by taking a single look at him.
She grabs the tip of his length, now glinting in pre-cum, and rubs her thumb around it. Her confidence depends in a big part on Derek's reactions. As she sees him gulp and his breathing gets heavier, she feels invigorated. She starts massaging him faster, gripping him hard but Derek catches her wrist soon after.
"Casey… please," his voice trembles.
"If you say it like that ," she gives him a coy smile before lifting herself on her knees for a brief moment and sinking on his erection, "Sure."
Derek takes a shaky breath in and adjusts to the new sensations. Casey is warm around him, wet and just so delightful. He holds her tighter, waiting for her to set the pace. She is leading the game now after all. Derek would honour that.
Casey leans back and places a hand on his thigh for support. Then she rocks her body on him, slowly, deriliously. With every new move, her body resonates with the urge to take him deeper, move faster. But she takes her time. In part because after the rough kiss moments ago she wants to savour him now at a languid pace, but also in part to let him know who is in control.
Derek takes her cue and messages her hips, her thighs, her waist, as far as he can reach, without letting her raise an eyebrow. Her majestic posture on him already makes him so heady that it becomes too much for him not to buck his hips up to take her fully. But good things happen to those who wait, right? He searches her eyes for any signal and all he gets is a smirk on her mouth.
She is truly reversing the roles, teasing him way more than it is in his capacity to take.
Derek takes an off chance at it and raises his hips just a little way up, filling her up further. It however backfires.
"I thought you said 'please'?" Casey says, pretending to slide off of him.
"No, don't, Case… not now… please… I won't do it again," Derek pleads, grabbing her ass to keep her in place.
"Good," she replies and sets herself back on him almost immediately.
Enough with the play. She starts gliding off and on him now, "You like it?"
She increases her speed gradually, the rough sound of skin against skin electrifying her senses. All of a sudden she sinks back in and moves back and forth right there in place.
Her change of patterns is so unexpected that Derek forgets to answer, concentrating on the task at hand. He tries not to lose control just yet. Through his hooded eyes, he sees her biting her own lip as she rocks on him, her body glistening with mild sweat. It is a sight that he is forever thankful to be a witness for. She changes the pattern yet again to squeeze her hips together to put more pressure on his length.
Derek moans before he even makes out what is happening. She does not reduce her pace. Her deep groans match the brilliant sparks of colour that burst behind his closed eyes. Amidst the sound of their joint cries, she somehow summons the power to ask him again, "Do you like it?"
"Yes… yes," Derek does not know why she would even ask it. There is nothing more obvious than that at this moment. Right on time, he realises it's now his turn to make things more pleasurable for her. He places his right thumb on her clit.
Before he can start doing anything Casey takes control yet again by holding his thumb and showing him the exact circular motion and pressure in which she wanted him to do it. So Derek does. His pressure on her clit along with her own renewed motion on his length soon makes way for a tingle in her abdomen.
Oh.
"Yes, yes... like that... yes," her words become incoherent as he keeps mounting the pressure on her and meets her rocking with equal enthusiasm, his other hand still grabbing her ass for momentum. The tingle intensifies in her core. She is there. Almost.
"Just a bit more," Casey instructs him knowing his thumb might start to cramp any moment now. She closes her eyes in the middle of all that action to imagine him fresh out of the shower and going down on his knees, her hands in his hair and his incessant licks on her folds.
Derek keeps rubbing her clit, "Come on, Princess, what a vision it'd be to see you finish… cum for me… right on me…"
That does the trick. The prickling sensation builds to a dangerous level in her core only to break in a delicious way and spread through every vein in her body, making her shudder. The loud cry that escapes her mouth fills up the room. Derek slows down his motions and holds her steady as she struggles to sit up straight.
Casey lets herself lose. To hell with having an upper hand. She bends forwards and drops down on his bare chest to seek comfort, her body exhausted.
Derek runs his finger through her hair, feeling exhausted himself. Their bodies heave in a synchronized rhythm, their heartbeats slowly returning to normal. The intensity of these moments of tranquillity right after such a powerful release on her part always catches him off guard.
He plants a kiss on the top of her head and whispers, "How is that for old bones?"
"Not bad."
"Not bad, huh?"
"Not bad at all."
He cocks his head to take a peek at her face, to gauge her proper reaction. Even after all these years she still remains a mystery to him. Derek traces his index finger on her arm resting on his chest. Every morning he discovers a new piece of Casey and yet every morning he realises there is no other human being whom he knows so thoroughly, understands so dearly.
Love is just the tip of the iceberg of what he feels for her.
He turns in his place causing Casey to subtly drop on the bed beside him, both of them now facing each other.
Casey gives him a slow smile, playing with his chest hair, "So was this the present you were supposed to give me?"
She won't mind if that is the case but truth be told she'd be disappointed just a little bit. She had not expected a grand romantic gesture. However, she had hoped it would be something more thoughtful. Not that there is anything wrong with sex, she quickly corrects her thought process. On the contrary, there is everything right with it. She finally supposes that she had hoped Derek would put more effort into this apparent present than just wooing her with his charm since that is something he has already been doing all these years.
"Oh no," Derek promptly dismisses her assumptions, "No, no. How could it be my present? You were seducing me ."
She had not expected that. "I seduced you? Really?"
"Hundo per cent."
"I beg to differ, Mister…"
The words get choked in her throat as a sneaky hand comes under her left breast to trace a finger on the rib there. She shudders in pleasure.
Derek cannot put into words how much he devours those reactions from her when he surprises her every so often and she melts under his smallest of touches. It fills his heart with a warm glow to know the effect he has on her.
He brings his finger up and draws a slow circle around her nipple, savouring each of her expressions of contentment, "And… this is me seducing you."
"Well it's…" she stammers, "it's working. Clearly."
"Clearly."
"Don't smirk, you asshole," she tries to counter but it sounds soft even to her ears.
"If you say so," his smirk only intensifies.
"You didn't finish, did you?"
It occurs to both of them that he is still inside her as his length throbs again.
"No, I didn't..."
"Well, go on then."
"Are you sure you can take it so soon?"
It is Casey's turn to smirk, "Yes, I'm sure. I'm not the one with old bones in my body, remember?"
Derek pushes up hard inside her at that very instant causing a gasp to escape from her throat. Her eyes pinch shut as she takes a firm grip on his arm. Pulling her leg around him, he pushes further, harder. He knows he will need only a few more thrusts to finish, but he'll be damned if he doesn't make those count.
Goosebumps form on her body as the familiar tingle returns to her veins. The pace is rough this time, yet it is enticing. She gulps hard when he pairs his pounding with gentle kisses on her shoulder blade. The combination makes her hover just at the edge of sanity. He mumbles something amidst the action that she tries hard to catch, a faint smell of fresh paint enters her nostrils but his escalating moves make it impossible for her to make sense of either of those. She clings to him for dear life.
Derek feels her tugging at his hair to make him look at her. She mouths some words at him but his mind is too foggy at the moment to discern her. The next thing he knows is her lips on his. He kisses her back and it's needy, it's desperate. She presses her body more firmly against him, her hands messaging his neck, keeping him grounded and that does it for him.
Derek pushes himself one last time inside her and goes still before all his senses come rushing down.
The jolt of emotions that release invokes in him is so powerful that he has to bury his face in her hair to seek comfort, to stabilise himself. Casey holds his shivering body in place whispering sweet words in his ear, telling him how much these wonderful mornings mean to her. Derek can only hope she is telling the truth.
It is not unknown to Casey that Derek feels extremely vulnerable after these intense moments, his own senses overpower him. She knows it and so she lays there with him in her arms, letting him know that she is there, that what she feels for him is beyond anything than he could ever measure. She lays there all messy and tired, yet content, fulfilled and loved.
Later when they finally get off the bed to freshen up, of course, there is a race to the adjoining bathroom. Casey pushes Derek's shoulder in the doorway to get there first.
"Move away. I want to go first," she shrieks.
"Well, hello, Missy, I am going first."
"Der-ek! Why didn't you get up two seconds earlier then?"
Truth be told Derek doesn't even need to go first, but there is an undeniable lure in wrestling with a naked Casey at the bathroom door that he just could not give up. After a few good minutes of pushing each other, he lets her get her way.
However, a couple of minutes later the same scene repeats when they start brushing their teeth.
Casey looks at her reflection, amused, thinking how terrible bedhead looks on her. She wonders how Derek could look at her with adoring eyes in bed just a while ago while she was looking like that.
She proceeds to spit in the sink when Derek pushes her again .
"Move, Spacey. Not all of us have the entire day to brush."
That moron! Not only is he childish but also so gross. Casey has no idea why he blabbers with a mouth full of toothpaste, every damn time. Frowning, she pushes him back, willing him to get out of the way.
But that is, of course, not how Derek Venturi works.
He sneaks a hand around her waist to draw a simple infinity pattern with his finger. Goosebumps appear on her skin at once and Casey involuntarily takes a step back from the sink, her senses concentrated on that minute touch, exhilarated.
An insufferable smirk is plastered on his face when she takes the brush out of her mouth to glower at him properly for distracting her.
Derek shrugs and plants a kiss on her lips, both their mouths full of toothpaste.
Before Casey can even register what just happened, he bends over to spit in the sink, as if he had done nothing treacherous. She is sure that one of these days she is going to arrange a full-blown seminar to show him how civilised people actually live, without cheating and seducing no less.
Standing back up, he says, "You look particularly irresistible in the mornings, you know that?"
And just like that, he is forgiven.
The fact that he has no idea Casey's been insecure about her bedhead moments ago and still manages to flirt with his own girlfriend and restore her faith in herself calls for immediate mercy. She gives him a foamy smile despite herself. This is exactly what she has signed up for. The love, the snuggles and especially the bickering.
The bed making duty is bestowed upon Casey while Derek makes them breakfast. She wonders if breakfast is what the infamous present is all about or if that is going to come later in the day. Wearing his crumpled shirt, she joins him at the kitchen island.
She indulges in checking out his body in boxers. He has gotten back a lot of his muscles lately. An alcohol ban, a good diet, routine exercise and regular sex has done wonders on him. Her cheeks heat up at that thought and she has to avert her eyes to the food to hide it from him.
However, it doesn't go unnoticed by Derek. He debates whether he should pull her leg on it or not. Trying so hard to stop himself from teasing her, he ends up saying, "Liking the view?"
"How original, Derek!" she rolls her eyes before loading her plate with pancakes, "Well, if you must know, I do like it."
"Yeah?" he did not expect her to freely admit it. It only fuels his urge to touch her again, make her flustered again.
Derek moves closer to her side to graze his hand over her nipple through the shirt, but she gets up from the chair just in time.
"Yeah. Where did you keep today's newspaper?" Casey smirks as she turns away from him to pretend to look for the paper.
Derek runs his hand through his hair, the one he had stretched out to touch her, blushing at the missed opportunity and also at how stupid he acts around her. Oh the days when he used to be smug around her, pretend to be cool and unaffected by her, all while being completely rattled inside with just one smile of hers. Now he is drooling over her and it is so apparent. Not that he is embarrassed, rather he is amused at the hold she has on him and how she is not even aware of that hold.
Finding the paper at the centre table, she flops down on the couch and says, "Bring the breakfast over here."
"As you wish, Princess," he obeys her, smirking. This day, this life means so much to him and he hopes it does to her too.
When Derek joins her on the couch with the food, she hands him over the sports section of the paper, keeping eye on the current affairs herself. Her legs find their way onto his lap eventually, as she leans back against the side of the couch, paper in one hand, pancake in another.
He traces patterns on her bare legs, his eyes trailed on the news, still munching his food. Casey feels a bit light-headed with all the little yet astounding sensations of intimacy, of serenity, of love and most of all of peace. In what world did she allow a person to caress her legs right after they had taken a syrupy pancake? The answer buzzes in her head: In a world where his life with Derek is a reality, where it is no more a far-fetched fantasy, where they no longer have to pretend to be unaffected by each other.
She pokes his thigh with her toe.
"What?" he looks up from his paper, his fingers still grazing on her ankle.
Casey looks at him through her lashes and mouths 'I love you'.
His face heats up instantly. He bites his lip to hide his smile, trying to contain the onslaught of emotions those three words always brought on. Picking her right foot up, Derek places a kiss on the inside of it. At the sound of her soft sigh, he plants another featherlight kiss on her ankle and another just above it. He traces an invisible way up her leg with his lips, ever so slowly, his breath tickling her skin.
The newspapers left forgotten, she gulps at the contrasting sensation of his mouth on her leg and his intoxicating smell all around her. Her skin starts prickling as Derek reaches her thigh and he adds just a bit of his tongue there. Casey is only about to relax when he grabs her legs and pulls her body down the couch.
She gasps, "Hey!" trying to protest in vain. The words die down in her throat as he presses his mouth more insistently against her inner thigh, the hint of a stubble that's been growing on his face tickling her, sending a shiver down her spine.
He grips her thighs tighter and keeps up his actions of alternating between kisses and licks on her thigh. Turning his face to her left leg, he repeats his acts, feather-light kisses, licks, followed by more insistent kisses, making sure his stubble grazes her skin. As he inches closer to her core, her breathing becomes ragged. Derek withdraws then for a moment to raise his head and peer at her face, her eyes closed, mouth parted, the anticipation clear in her frame. Oh, the heavenly sight!
Lowering his head again, this time he advances with a nibble on her thigh, causing a surprised moan to leave her mouth. He smirks while hovering in front of her beautiful folds, the smirk slowly giving way to a grateful smile. Grateful for the privilege to know her so intimately, for the privilege of seeing her so vulnerable and for the opportunity to make her satisfied. He places his tongue flat on her core and licks her entire length and back again and again.
His mouth starts working on her so fast so rapidly that Casey has to draw up her knees to get a semblance of balance. Her already dizzy head falls back against the couch, jolts of beautiful hues fill up her mind. It is a moment of pure bliss and one of utter insanity. He is now putting pressure on her clit with his tongue, making slow insistent circles. She is falling… falling in a mesmerising oasis…
"Derek.." she mumbles, barely recognising her voice.
With his name coming out of her mouth in a dreamy whisper, he enters his index finger inside her. It is a connection that transcends their earthly existence, binding them in a bond of belonging to each other, of knowing and loving each other. He enters another finger inside her, concentrating and failing and trying again to focus on her pleasure. But with every moan escaping her mouth, every quiver of her leg that he is gripping with his left arm, every murmur of his name only increases his own ecstasy to an entirely new high, driving him insane.
She feels him curling his fingers inside her, searching for her pleasure point and she tries to guide him but her voice hardly cooperates. Her ears pound with every new lick, her heartbeats accelerating. She attempts but fails to recognise these sensations from any prior intimate moment of her life with any other partner. An involuntary sigh of bliss leaves her lips as realisation dawns on her that it is Derek, all Derek who could ever make her feel this way, so fragile yet so determined. Having lost all track of time and any sane thought, she is sharply brought back to the present with his fingers pressing just the right spot inside her.
If any speck of doubt Derek had as to whether he has found the spot or not, they all evaporate with her fingers gripping his hair at that instant, accompanied by a soft cry. He relishes the slight pain that tug causes on his scalp, continuing to swirl his tongue around her clit while picking up a steady rhythm with his fingers inside her, rubbing back and forth, not letting the intensity decrease even for a second. His penis grows harder in his boxer, his entire body feels as if it's been ignited. Her heady smell, her luscious taste, her low growls overflow his senses.
Casey grips his hair harder as his mouth and fingers do fine work on her, a steady vibration starts forming in her lower belly. She knows the telltale signs. Just a few more rubs, a few more strokes, she bites her lip. The world is starting to spin rapidly around her, with Derek increasing the pace of his fingers. She holds on to those quivers in her body as long as she possibly can, not wanting the sensations to cease, ever. She tries to take in a few long breaths but they are all futile, the vibrations keep growing with every new rub. She still holds on, resisting the fall but he is coaxing her, tempting her to let go, to let her experience a glorious release that awaits her and so she does.
She lets go.
The waves peak up right before breaking and disperse through every last muscle in her body, making her tremble all over, her legs wobbly, her chest heaving. It is a kind of intimacy that she has never known before. The release engulfs all her senses yet makes her acutely aware of everything around her. Even with her eyes closed, panting, she can feel each pore come to light, she hears the rustles on the couch as Derek moves up along her body to lie beside her in the narrow space. She senses him kissing her earlobe, the side of her neck, attempting to ground her shaking body and she can feel each of those kisses like they were droplets of ice-cold water soothing her sweaty tired body on a beautiful summer day.
When she finally turns in his arms to face him, her face has a misty glow, sweat beads glistening on her forehead. Eyes still closed, she leans in for a kiss which Derek returns with a grin, a smile that would not cease even if he tried. After tasting her orgasm moments before, he discovers her taste anew in her mouth, pulling her closer to him. Her mighty taste consumes him, leaving him unable to form any coherent thoughts.
As she pulls her lips away from his mouth, her hand comes to rest on his bare chest. They open their eyes rather slowly, neither wanting to break the spell. She smirks but it only comes out as a crooked grin and murmurs, "That's one way of saying 'I love you too'."
"I concur," Derek responds giddily before pulling her in for several new kisses on her mouth, dropping down to suck on her neck and coming back up to kiss her into oblivion.
After finally getting up and Casey wearing underwear to stop further distractions, when they proceed to clean the dishes, Casey rolls her eyes at him in frustration, "Der-ek! You are making a mess more than you're cleaning."
"Well you can clean up everything yourself if you want," Derek shrugs as he puts some unwashed plates on top of clean ones, "And later I can clean you up."
"Der-ek!"
"Alright, alright," he holds up his arms, smirking, "Just tell me alright? What I should be doing here."
It is Casey's turn to be confused. After all, Derek has just asked her to show him how he should be doing his chores. That's a proposal she had not even expected in her wildest dreams. She realises how dramatic that thought is and gets down to work rather than dwelling on the warm thought in her heart that he is probably subconsciously making efforts to be a better partner for her. Casey knows that their relationship is still rather new, that they are just starting to bloom. Though there is no doubt in her heart that they belong together, she still doesn't want to get ahead of herself.
"First things first," she says, rolling up his shirt sleeves that she is wearing, "You keep unclean dishes separate from clean dishes. Even a kid in kindergarten knows that."
"Case.." he warns, reminding her that she has agreed to guide him.
"Yeah, fine, you man-child," she rolls her eyes.
"Case!"
That actually was intentional. She suppresses a snort, "Okay, come over here," Derek does as told and she continues, "You wash the dishes first, pat them dry next and then put them on the counter. Honestly! Why does your dishwasher look like it has never been used?"
"Because I was hardly cooking or eating anything here except the nights you came over," he shrugs.
That isn't news to Casey and she berates herself for unintentionally asking a question that reminds him of his dark times. She shoots him an apologetic look, to which he responds by smiling softly and shaking his head telling her that it's alright to talk about that time as long as she is there to navigate him now.
After finishing up the dishes and cleaning the table, he points out how unorganised his cabinets are and how they could apparently use a touch from Casey as well.
"You sneaky bastard," she retorts.
"That's me," he says with his wide grin.
They start putting plates and bowls and cutleries in specific cabinets, all in accordance with Casey's directions. She shows him how he can stock the refrigerator without congesting it. An argument ensues on whether the spices should go on top drawers or the lower ones but Derek gives up soon enough because no one talks over Casey when she is in charge of tidying up a place. Her place no less.
The amount of junk food in his drawers horrifies her but he wins that argument as he puts up the reasoning that he needs his comfort food when Casey is away for work or for when they might have a bad fight and he'll need the courage to fess up to her.
"You know, I actually had a similar agenda in place for today," he says eventually while putting away the last jars to their designated places, "But seeing that we have already done enough chores, it might be an overkill."
Casey perks up at those words, wondering once again if his agenda involves his legendary present, "Oh no chore is too much for me. Come on, spill it. What is it? What's the agenda?"
"Chill out, Spacey. No need to get a seizure over your excitement for chores," he snorts.
She pouts which leads her to receive an immediate kiss from a rather opportunist Derek.
"Come with me," he says and leads the way to their bedroom holding her hand.
There is such a suspicious look on her face that Derek laughs despite himself. She must be thinking that he wants to jump her bones again. Well, she can't be farther from the truth. The bedroom is not a testament only to their sex life, but in his single bedroom apartment, that place is also their sanctuary, one where they are supposed to build a freaking life together. Even the thought of it is enough to overwhelm him. When they can afford to do so, they might move on to a bigger place, but this apartment will always be the place where they truly began. Right from his recovery with her help, to him breaking her heart and eventually finding their way back to each other. It is a place that would forever stand witness to their great story, of not just love, but also of commitment and devotion.
"The bastard won't get sneaky again, I promise," bending a bit, he says close to her ear, "well not soon."
"I believe you," she turns to him and grabs his head to place a firm kiss on his lips. After breaking apart, she utters, "Not that I would mind. What are we here for then?"
Still reeling from the short yet dizzying kiss from her, he points at the far corner of the room.
An assortment of paint cans, brushes, charts, sharpies lay there in abundance, in most part hidden by some packing boxes. She saw those in passing but did not think much of it until now. She only recognises the packing boxes that she brought from her old place and hasn't gotten the chance to unpack yet. Derek comes to her rescue before she can conjecture any wild theories.
"I put all those there yesterday. You were too tired to notice last night and this morning you... Well, we were just distracted."
"I did notice them this morning, you smart-ass. You aren't that charming."
"Don't start that tactic again, Princess," he slides a finger beneath the shirt to graze on her hip.
She releases a shaky breath, her words faltering, "I… umm…"
"Yeah, so, I was thinking..." Derek withdraws his finger from her body abruptly and walks over to the boxes, leaving behind a rather frustrated Casey. Well, she's the one to blame, she realises sadly. She considers jumping his bones this time but decides against it. There is no rush anymore between them to show who is the more desperate one since they know they are both equally hopeless about one another.
She saunters over to him, circling his right arm with both of hers, "What exactly is the plan here, Mister?"
Looking down at her, he smiles, one of those rare soft smiles that have the potential to knock Casey off-balance, "The ' plan' is to make you so fucking happy," he says as if that doesn't rock her entire world, "But the plan, for now, is to make this apartment your home… our home… starting with these paints and boxes."
Without waiting to observe her elated face, telling himself that he cannot handle so much cheese, he crouches down to go through the boxes. Only to find tons and tons of law books and files and office supplies.
"Damn keener! Have you brought the entire Supreme Court library with you?"
"No, you idiot," she kneels down beside him, pushing him with her shoulder, "These are the bare minimum."
"I'm having a brain freeze just by looking at it!"
"Good thing you are not the one who has to read them. The world is relieved."
Derek moves on to the paint cans to steer the conversation away, "Actually we need to paint that wall first."
Casey turns her head to look in the direction he is pointing. It's the wall that is by the bedroom door. All the walls in this apartment have always been dull white. She had assumed that Derek never really gave any second thought to them considering what he was going through when he first moved in here.
"I have already been working on them, sanding them down and putting primer etc. I thought we could paint this one wall, you know it could be symbolic or something," he rubs his hand over his neck, "And leave the rest of the walls for the professionals."
Ah, so that's what the smell was this morning, Casey realises. She can only look at Derek, being nervous and giddy, being this confident yet jumpy person. Casey can keep looking at him for so long.
"What do you think, Case? Was that a stupid idea?"
Her being silent for minutes makes him uncharacteristically nervous. Whatever happened to the smug Derek Venturi. He used to be so good at feigning nonchalance and now here he is tiptoeing around his own self to make sure he does not do anything to screw this relationship again.
"Of course not! Let's get to work. What colours do you have?"
"Well, I chose lilac. I mean I assumed we'd both like it. We can get a darker shade for the rest of the walls. But I have a few other options for you to go over too."
The catalogue and the cans that Derek hands over to her has a list of various impressive colours but for some reason, her mind keeps straying back to the lilac Derek has chosen. Her subconscious might be the one to be blamed. However, she can't deny that it'd be a beautiful fit for the place.
"Lilac it is," she exclaims finally.
Derek cheers for it as well. They open up the window and the fresh air neutralizes the strong smell of paint and varnish in the room. He promptly arranges scarves for their hairs and a ladder that actually belongs to his architecture firm but has been lying around in his corridor for a while. After pushing a few small pieces of furniture aside and spreading a sheet over the floor, not without arguing who got it crumpled, they finally dip their brushes in the can and put one stroke each on the wall. In the big wall, those two strokes seem rather negligible but in both their hearts, it gets imprinted as a sweet indicator of how far they have come. From fighting over a bedroom in their parent's house to decorating one that is theirs, all theirs.
Derek turns on country music on his speakers and they get to work. More often than not their strokes are haphazard, messy and have clamps of paints in several places. Casey points out how Derek is not holding the brush right and how his strokes are all wrong, to which he replies that she should mind her own business and preach to him only when her paint is perfect which of course it isn't.
At some point, she slouches down on the floor, muttering, "It's all a waste and we should never have thought that we can do this. We suck at this."
Derek kneels down on the floor beside her, his hands aching a bit, "We definitely don't suck at it. Case, listen, I have deconstructed and built up several houses to know how to do all of these, alright? Just trust me. I might not have done these practical works myself but I do have a general idea. Let's smoothen out the clamps and try again."
Without giving her a chance to whine again, he gets up and hurls her up on her feet. The next hour they spend polishing down the clamps and putting the first coat of paint on the wall. Sitting on the ladder, putting some last strokes of the first layer, Derek paints a few symbols on the wall with white paint.
"Case! See," Derek calls out to Casey who is hunched over the cans, mixing the colours.
She looks up and follows his eyes to a particular spot on the wall. There are too big letters painted asymmetrically: C and D with a heart a symbol between them.
A broad smile breaks out on her face.
Amidst the sweat on her face, the mess around them, the chipped paints all over their bodies, these are the moments that make it all so worth it. Casey realises in that instant how well their current activity represents their relationship. They are getting rid of the clamps on the wall while figuring out their standing in this relationship as well, overcoming each of their past bruises one by one, giving each other space yet growing and expanding together. Despite having spent so much time on one another's radar, they still have so much to learn the other, to unlearn the things they had assumed from afar, to break down the barriers they've built for the cruel world and discover each other anew.
Standing on tiptoe, she gestures to him to bend his neck and their mouths meet halfway. They kiss while hanging on to the other in that strange position. He tangles his fingers in her hair to draw her closer. The catchy melody of the country songs keeps playing in the background while they kiss for moments on end. In a way, it feels that every time they kiss, a halo is created around them to cut them off from the outside world, to let them know life would be alright so long as they remain connected, so long as they trust the other with their vulnerabilities and their raw selves.
Her palms still grabbing his face, Casey looks at the C and D on the wall again and a feeling of sweet reverie runs through her. She rubs her nose against his, "You are so corny, Der!"
It isn't meant as a tease but Derek gets offended for no reason. Pouting and huffing, he pulls away from her, "I definitely am not!"
"You are too."
"Hell no. I would scrub the paint off if you call me corny again," he scowls.
Casey grips the ladder and shakes it slightly, "And I will shake this so hard until you admit that you are ."
He might pretend to be laid-back and macho but Casey suddenly shaking the ladder, howsoever slightly, catches him off guard and his face pales in panic, assuming he will probably fall off. He utters in a hurry, "Yeah, yeah, I'm very corny and cheesy and…"
Giggling at his reaction, she stops shaking the ladder, not feeling guilty in the slightest. That is as good a confession as it can get, "Good boy," she says, ruffling his hair and placing another kiss on his mouth before standing back on her feet.
"I'll get back at you for this," he smiles back.
"I look forward to it," she pokes her tongue out at him and then says, "But aren't you hungry? I'm starving!"
The doorbell rings at that very instant.
"I already took care of it, Princess," Derek jumps off the ladder and heads towards the door, calling over his shoulder, "And you aren't allowed to get mad over what I ordered."
He had ordered pizza when she wasn't looking. He sure is not gonna cook again after painting for hours. After tipping the delivery girl, he takes the pizza and the cokes to the bedroom, preparing himself for one of Casey's prolonged speeches about how they should not eat junk for lunch, how it would affect their metabolism and so on.
He finds Casey is sitting on the floor, resting her back against the bed, having cleared a little space for their lunch. Derek plops down beside her and opens the pizza boxes, expecting her to start lecturing him any moment now.
Instead, her face lights up at the sight of the pizza. "Perfecto!" she exclaims.
Derek cannot help his grin, witnessing her excitement. She must have been really hungry to let him get away with this. Thrilled, he picks up a slice right after she does and chugs down his coke, the food helping him with his tired body.
Munching her food, Casey realises this was the kind of day she used to long for once upon a time, thinking she could never be this happy, this content with her life. To wake up and be able to live and relish every moment of each day was a dream she never even dared to entertain before. Having now experienced several days of that often imagined perfect life with its distinctive ebbs and flows, she can now finally appreciate how truly 'perfecto' it is.
Stretching out her legs, she turns to him, knowing this is as good a moment as any to broach a serious topic, "Der…"
"Yeah?" he looks up from his food, sauce smeared on the corner of his mouth.
Picking up a napkin, she scoots closer to him to slowly wipe the sauce off his face, all while her instincts tell her to just lick the sauce off with her tongue.
As she keeps wiping the side of his mouth, Derek can only gaze at her lips, sprinkles of spices sticking on it, his heart screaming to close the gap. He wonders if there would ever come a time when he wouldn't feel this desperate urge to kiss her senseless all the time, all the fucking time.
She murmurs, still too close to his face, "We didn't use protection this morning."
"I know," he responds softly, though truth be told he hadn't thought of it until then. "Does that bother you?"
After finishing her task, she sits by his side, intertwining their fingers, "Not really. I… I am not sure how I feel…"
"Well I am clean and so are you. We've already talked about that."
"Yeah. That's not a concern I know. It's just that…" she keeps her eyes fixed on their fingers, unable to put her thoughts into words.
"Case, I know sex comes with consequences." He rubs his thumb over her palm, "Financially we are well off. Emotionally, on the other hand, we need to be on the same page."
That makes her look up at him, not comprehending whether he is saying it for the sake of it or if he thinks that one of them needs to adjust to the other's wishes. She concurs, however, that there is no harm in at least getting to know what he wants before jumping to conclusions. His wishes matter just as much as hers.
"Where do you stand emotionally?" she inquires, a tinge of apprehension in her voice.
"Hey… I didn't mean that we need to fill out official forms or anything. What I meant is that we need to know that we're on the same page and if we're not, we can figure out a way to get there."
Crossing her legs beneath her, she sits facing him and puts her hands on his knees, "I'm not upset, Derek. Not in the least. I'm just trying to understand your point of view."
"Oh good," says Derek, relieved, "I'm really glad you brought up this topic."
"And I'm so fucking glad that you're taking it so seriously, even more than I am."
He offers her a small smile, "Honest talk? I'm ready to build my family. Ugh. Strike that. Our family. Yeah, yeah, call me corny. I'm ready for it. I want to have a house full of noise and chatter like we used to have back in London. I want a dog or a tortoise probably or a goldfish, if that's what you want" Derek shrugs, knowing that if they don't have this talk now, no matter how hard it currently is, they'd regret it later, "And... I… I want kids, Casey. I don't want to scare you away with all that but I want it all with you . Everything else is negotiable, except you. Better get that drilled in your skull."
In a way, all of that is overwhelming and Casey has to take in a deep breath to steady her nerves. She starts, stumbling upon her words at first, "I… uhm… you… that's great. Der… see… this is my first time getting into a relationship as serious as this, unlike you," noticing the frown forming on his face, she adds hastily, "That came out wrong…"
"You are not my rebound," Derek mutters, hurt with her choice of words. Casey can and should always express her opinions freely but it still pains him that she'd point out his past with regard to their present and future.
"Oh shit. I know Der, I know. I was just saying that it's new territory for me. This…" she waves her arms around her, "sharing my life with you… being vulnerable in front of you… You need to understand that I haven't been weak and vulnerable in front of anyone in so so long. It's taking me time to unlearn what I've repeated to myself for years.. that I will walk through this life all alone... That..."
"Oh, Case…" he puts his arms around her to pull her closer, onto his lap, as her voice gets choked with emotions that she has been suppressing for years. Curse words after curse words he hurls at himself in his mind for getting offended when she was just trying to be genuine and open with him.
"I'm so sorry.. so sorry.." he mumbles in her hair.
"No. Don't apologise. Remember I'm glad that we're having this conversation?" she places her left arm around his shoulder and smiles, her eyes moist, "This is what I was talking about. Now I can feel overwhelmed and timid and even sad around you and I don't need to bottle them up anymore. That means more to me than I can say. So really.." she lightly punches on his chest, "I'm thanking you."
Catching her fist on his bare chest, on top of his heart, he says, "You have nothing to thank me for. I am so dumb when it comes to appreciating you. But I promise you I will do better."
Teardrops wet her cheeks as she beams at him for being a version of himself that she knew existed but has never witnessed before this day. He is charming and heartachingly handsome, but he is also sweet and nurturing, he's someone who puts his loved ones before himself no matter what. He has been hurt and broken in the past, yet it doesn't stop him from loving her with his whole being, from cherishing her and looking at her like she means the world to him. He would do absolutely anything to protect her emotions yet would not overlook the little things in life walking by her side.
Picking up another slice of the pizza, she takes one bite, then offers it to him and says, "This relationship means everything to me."
"I know," he mumbles, his mouth full of the pizza.
"So I don't have an alternate plan if this one doesn't work because my guts tell me it would. But that's also the reason why I'm not in a hurry to either buy a new house or to settle down with a label on it," she pauses to gauge his reaction and seeing that his eyes are shining with nothing other than bliss, she continues, "We'd eventually do everything that you mentioned because of course everything that's important to you is important to me. But I feel like I'm not in that space yet to put my anchor down. I want to just take it slow, enjoy the hell out of every new experience with you, work my ass off and also have house parties every damn day!"
As exhilarating as it is to hear Casey spell out her wishes, it's also a bit terrifying to get to know them. Derek fears he'd not be able to give her everything that she deserves and he will fail her again. But that doesn't mean he would ever stop trying. Damn him if he'd let go of the immense privilege that he has been showered with to have this woman in his lap, in his heart and his home. Damn him if he would let her settle until she has had a taste of every beautiful thing that this world has to offer.
"House parties every day. Noted." He kisses her cheek to seal the deal.
There are still so many things that they need to work through and Casey doesn't really want to rush through all of those at one go. Even so there's this one thing that she needs to put out there. He cannot be kept hanging about something as important as this. She murmurs, snuggling against his chest, "I want kids too, Der. There's no doubt about it, but it just scares me. The idea of my own family, my kids, all that responsibility…"
"You've been taking care of me for so long. I think that's enough practice," he cackles.
"Der-ek!"
"Sorry, sorry," he tries to suppress his laughter, "Jokes apart, I hear what you're saying but trust me it scares me too. I just think if we work as a team, we'd be able to rock the whole parenting thing so well. But… that doesn't at all mean we need to make babies tonight, Case or in the next year or until the day you are ready."
"Thanks."
Derek rolls his eyes at her.
That makes Casey giggle, "That was just figurative. But…" her voice is grave when she speaks again, "Aren't we just glossing over something critical while talking about family?"
"What?" Derek asks, feigning innocence while knowing full well what she means but feeling reluctant to get into it just yet.
"Our already existing family, step -brother."
Derek rolls his eyes again at her naivety with joke making. She might be a bright and coming lawyer but she still needs lessons on how not to tease her lover. "What about them?"
"Don't act dumb, Derek. We need to think about the best way to tackle them."
"I think Dad already knows," he shrugs, "Or at least he assumed when I called him before rushing to the airport."
Their blended family is the foundation of their existence and Derek cherishes each member, though more often than not he keeps that adoration a secret. But it never made sense to him before, nor does it make sense now how is it any of their business what Casey and Derek decide to do with their lives or who they decide to love. He knows his aversion towards this particular topic is because his family does have a somewhat arguable right to offer opinions on his love life, especially if it involves Casey, that it is their business. Their probable reaction to the whole thing makes him so paranoid, that if he could he would let them stay out of the loop forever.
On the other hand, it is a relief now to know that he can count on his father to at least be on his side and give Derek a fair chance to explain himself before he goes spiralling. It's also not right to keep what he shares with Casey a secret from the people who mean so much to her. She deserves better than that and he can definitely face whatever judgment or turbulence that might be thrown their way for her, with her.
"George knows? That makes sense," Casey breaks him out of his thoughts.
"It does?" he asks, baffled.
"Yeah, I talked with mom to let her know that I was moving in with you and her response was… strange. Almost like she was teasing me? It was odd but I didn't think too much into it until you said that probably even George has some idea about us."
"Oh, so they're having a 'finally' moment?"
"A what moment?"
He shrugs, holding her tighter, "You know, they might be having a big moment of revelation that 'finally' Derek and Casey are together after years of pent up, heavy, deep, underlying, electrifying sexual tension."
"Der-ek!" she punches on his chest again, "Though you could be right… they aren't that naive to not know at all. We still should come clean to them ourselves, don't you think?"
"And we will," she does not look convinced, so Derek adds, "I promise you we will. I won't brush it off later. Promise. Now then what would you say about taking a long shower?"
"I would say you are a very sneaky bastard," she chortles before pressing her lips against his, smiling and kissing him repeatedly until he gets up with her in his arms, "Hey!"
"If I let you get your way, we'd never actually make it to the shower."
As Derek carries her to the bathroom, she nuzzles her nose against his neck, a grin stuck on her face. "You smell of paint and pepperoni. It'd be all gone if we take a shower," she whispers to him, pouting.
The fact that she likes to have different smells on him so much that it makes her not want to take a shower is both amusing and hot. "But you would smell of that waterlily bodywash and I can't wait for it. So compromises, baby." He winks at her.
When he puts her down under the shower, they stare at each other's bodies and realize how much they do need a shower after hours of painting and working on the wall.
Derek starts unbuttoning her shirt buttons one by one, his eyes never leaving hers. Gazing into his eyes alone stirs vibrations in her body and she tries to concentrate on anything else besides him: the bathroom tiles, the towels on the rack, the sink, something, anything. Instead, her eyes land on his growing erection beneath his boxers and embarrassingly enough she finds herself unable to look away.
With a few buttons left to be unbuttoned, Derek bends his head to place soft kisses along her collarbone and she sighs at the very first contact. That he can elicit such reactions out of her always amazes him. So he continues with both his kisses and unbuttoning, until he pushes the shirt off her shoulder to gaze at her body in all its glory, with chipped paints sticking on it here and there.
"You are… so beautiful," he breathes.
Taking one breast in his hand, he fondles her nipple until it becomes hard. He is just about to bend again to suck on it when she comes nearer and hooks both her thumbs on the waistband of his boxers and raises an eyebrow at him. Before he can give her any kind of response she pulls it down with determination and he gets his legs out of it quickly. Next comes off her panties and the scarves from their hairs, not as slowly as the clothes prior to those.
Not losing eye contact, Casey reaches behind herself and turns the shower on, the water drenching them instantly. She looks at his erection again with so much desire that she's sure that her entire body must be ablaze, despite standing under the running water. In a bid to distract herself again, she reaches out to the shelves and takes some bodywash from the bottle, all while feeling Derek's eyes boring into her skin. She rubs her palms together to make a good lather and then starts messaging it on his chest in a circular motion, moving on to his arms and then coming back to his torso, but refusing to go beyond that.
Derek tries to keep a nonchalant front but is hardly able to maintain his posture when her hands are all over him, bringing every last pore on his body alive. To distract himself from staring and wanting to lick her entire soaked body right that moment, he takes some soap in his palms too and starts rubbing it on her, her neck, chest, all over her breasts and abdomen. It feels like tinkering with an already raging flame in his groin.
"God! These paint chips are so stubborn," he pretends all this is just to clean her off those paints and he has no ulterior motive at all.
"I know, right?" She puts up a charade as well. When their eyes meet, she sees him gulp and drawls, "Turn around."
Casey continues her clockwise motions on his back and this time she goes lower, she massages all around his hips and ends it with a pinch on his ass. Although she follows it with an innocent giggle, when he turns back around his eyes are darker than usual, his jaws set. He picks her up by grabbing her ass and pushes her against the wall. After the initial shock settles down, she quickly hooks her legs and arms around him, ready to welcome the bewildering sensation of him being inside her.
Taking a couple of moments to gaze at her flustered face first, Derek guides himself in and holds himself there to get a good foothold on the slippery bathroom surface. He then bends his neck to do what he was interrupted from doing before and takes a nipple in his mouth.
His warm mouth on her nipple amidst the cold shower makes her moan despite herself.
"Oh.. oh fuck," she grips his hair with one hand, her other hand are on the tiles for balance. Derek sucking and nibbling her areola, makes her toes curl. She exhales a long breath and has to immediately suck in a sharp one. As he continues to flick his tongue there for several moments, Casey's vision gets blurry by the minute.
When he raises his head to look her in the eye to gauge her wish, she utters, more resolutely than Derek ever could under the circumstances, "Hard!"
So he does. He hammers inside her without further prompt, going faster and deeper with each thrust. The water showers around them, building an insane contrast to their back and forth with its downward spiral. She bucks her hips to match his pace, holding on to him as tightly she can, digging her nails in his skin. For moments after moments, they keep going, grabbing each other, not letting the other slip, the desire and urgency clouding their brains.
He starts feeling the fire building in his belly as he continues to pound inside her, biting her earlobe, sucking on her neck, feeling her getting sweaty in his arms, even under the shower. Their pace only increases as the tingling feeling converges in his core, ready to break at any moment. Amidst the rush he pauses for a fraction of a second to kiss the spot below her ear, inhaling her natural scent, the one that always reminds him that he now has Casey freaking McDonald all to himself.
He cannot stop himself from saying again, "You are so so beautiful." Every time he is joined with her flesh to flesh, he feels this raw need to speak his heart over and over again, to tell her how spectacular she is, how she takes his breath away every moment of every day.
Resuming his ministrations, he grabs her ass tighter and pushes into her with even more resolve than before and feels her muscles tighten immediately.
The last few thrusts are so strong that Casey barely hangs on to her sanity in his arms, her body stiffening around him. Derek grabs her tighter and she tries to reciprocate. Taking a handful of his hair in her fist, she makes him look at her and crashes her mouth onto his, kissing him, biting his lips, not caring about the slobbery noises. Derek Venturi's insufferable ass making her feel all these unspeakably sensational feelings are all too overwhelming for her to wrap her head around. So she does what she can, kiss him until they are both out of breath. Soon, however, her legs start to tremble, almost losing their grip, her brain refusing to cooperate. The raging fire in her belly engulfs her before she can even try to hold it in and it breaks all over her body, sending cold shivers across her veins.
"Derek... Derek!"
The scream is low yet so potent that Derek comes without any notice, losing his grip on reality in a moment of madness, her contracting around him, him emptying himself inside her, both moaning in unison. They hold onto each other for dear life. His body starts trembling so badly that he has to put his head on her shoulder to calm his nerves, panting, heaving.
''Oh, Case…" she hears him mumble eventually.
tbc