The sun almost stroked my face as I began to wake, feeling the heat emanating from the window. It felt so good, and it made me feel like today would be a good day. That was until I tried to sit up, a groan forcing its way through my vocal chords as I realised my head was pounding a little. I guess I drank more than I should have.

"Fucking hell," I sighed, swinging my legs so I could rest them onto the floor and getting up properly, stretching my upper body, eyes closed whilst still taking in the sun, attempting to focus on the heat and how that felt rather than the throbbing in my head.

"It gets easier, you know,"

I yelped, jumping to my feet and moving closer to the window all in one swoop, completely startled by the man in my bed, unable to stop myself staring over at him as he just grinned back at me. Merle was led on his side, his shirt completely gone again and the sheets covering over his lower half.

Oh god...

My heart hit my throat and I glanced down at myself, suddenly finding myself wanting to check what clothes I was wearing. Both relieved and surprised that I was wearing underwear and my shirt, exactly what I was wearing when he came in last night.

"We didn't do anything," Merle spoke, but that didn't stop him eying me up, his grin turning into a smirk, "I ain't like that, sugar-tits." A heat creeped up my neck and settled into my cheeks, as I realised his deep blues were glancing over my exposed legs.

"Hey perv," I snarked, clicking my fingers, but found myself chuckling at how creepy he was being. "My eyes are up here," I warned him, watching as he forced himself to tear his eyes away and look up at mine.

"What can I say? They're a good pair of legs you got," He sat up himself, rolling his neck, a familiar cracking sound and a sigh of relief following suit. "How often do you spread-" He caught himself, "Uh Shave them?" He wiggled his eyebrows, sticking his tongue out onto his lip as he thought about it.

"We had a good time last night," He told me, trying to turn the conversation to something else, before he got to his feet properly, and I had to force myself to stop staring at his chest, and look for my bag of stuff, wanting to find some kind of clothes I could change into.

I headed off into the living room, finding myself blushing more when he wolf-whistled at me as I walked by him putting on his shirt. I could tell the smirk was back on his face, his eyes roaming down to my legs again as he watched me. I tried to ignore him, telling myself that I would need to get used to this because I doubt he was going to change any time soon, but he really was good company.

"Everything okay?"

I almost hadn't realised I was just standing in the living room, hearing him coming into the room behind me, and I just froze, completely forgetting what I had come in to do. "Hey," I felt a cool hand touch my shoulder and I jumped a little bit, "You okay?"

"Oh, uh, yeah sorry..." I smiled softly and touched his hand, walking away over to the couch where my backpack resided, and began to search into it. "My heads all over the place, must be the hangover." I tried to brush it off, my head working in overdrive, remembering the things I wanted to do today.

"We can relax if you want?"

"No," I shook my head, not wanting to stop what I was doing, because that would give me more time to think. Whining, I realised that I hadn't gotten any more clothes in my bag, so I tossed it back onto the couch, my stuff spilling out of it, whilst some of it hit the floor. I had no spare clothes, and now I was stuck in these dirty smelling ones.

"Maddie,"

I closed my eyes, and took in a deep breath, trying to focus on my body, to ground myself so I could attempt to start the day fresh again. "Okay," I spoke eventually and turned to him, a smile on my face, "I'm okay, give me a sec." I rushed past him, seeing him in his wife beater vest and black combats again before I shut the door behind me, quickly rushing around, slinging on the clothes I could find and making myself look presentable, running my fingers through my hair.

I couldn't quite figure out what was wrong with me today. Maybe it was the nerves of being in the Community, making me feel a little trapped. I hadn't been around so many people in such a long time. Maybe it was the fact that I needed to talk to Philip today regarding the garden, or maybe it was Jackson.

Jackson. I felt a little angry at him, that I had woken up to Merle in my room last night and not him. I just had no idea. Slipping my knife holster around my waist and making sure it was secured with my knife inside, I headed for the door, opening it to see Merle still waiting for me.

"Can you take me to see The Governor?"

I smiled at him, walking beside him to the front door, knowing this was it and I had to be fine for the next while, so I put on a half real smile, and headed out into the day with him beside me. The sun felt even better now I was actually outside, and I could tell Merle was the same, even with both our heads pounding. Or at least I assumed he was the same.

"Hey!"

I heard Jackson, so I glanced around, seeing him jogging over from where he was talking to Martinez by a car. "You guys alright?" He had a smile for both me and Merle, and I felt the anger bubbling back up, but tried to shove it to the side. I couldn't be mad at him, I couldn't expect him to come to help me through my nightmares. He has done it for so long, he was probably in the deepest sleep he has ever had since the start of all of this. So I couldn't be mad.

"How did you sleep?" I asked him, Merle stood at arms length beside me, probably trying to give me space to talk to my best friend, who just seemed ecstatic today, which was great.

"Yeah I slept great, woke up maybe once but other than that, did you sleep better?" Jackson smiled and touched my shoulder, where I just looked down a little bit, not wanting to make him feel guilty over the nightmare I had. "Were you okay?"

"What do you mean, Jackson?" I frowned, glancing up at him, it was a weird way to phrase a question, especially one like this. I wanted to get going, so now I wanted to make this quick, especially if he was going to make it awkward.

"Last night?" He chuckled, a smile still on his face, "You know, the usual? You started to scream, but you went silent, did it sort it out?" My expression must have dropped, because Jackson's had faltered too, but before I could even say anything, Merle had piped up.

"Wait you heard her screaming?" He started, unfolding his arms and walking closer to Jackson. "You heard her and didn't come to check on her?" I had no idea why Merle was so pissed, but the more he spoke, the worse my anger from this morning began to get.

"Well, I didn't need to go, she stopped!" Jackson tried to defend himself, but Merle attempted to lunge forwards, so I quickly stood between them, both my hands resting on Merle's chest. That was when I realised that I was shaking.

"Merle.." I tried to keep my voice even, feeling tears pricking at the edges of my eyes. I felt so betrayed, almost wanting to let Merle rip into him, but if we were gonna try and make this our home, then I wanted to ensure we all got along. Yet I couldn't stop myself wondering.

If Jackson had been in a deep sleep and hadn't heard me, I would be much better about it, but the fact that he had heard it and chose to completely ignore it, after all we have been through. It just felt like a stab to the chest. "It's not worth it, Merle." I told him eventually, before I took his arm, trying to pull him along so we could continue on our way.

Merle tried to stay behind, his eyes boring into Jackson who had pulled away, choosing to go back to Martinez. "Merle..." I didn't even want to finish the sentence, but eventually Merle rested a hand on my middle back, leading me down the street and past everyone else, some who had stopped to stare because of the yelling that had occured.

I didn't need this today. It's a different day. A good day.

"If he pulls that again.." Merle trailed off, and we just continued walking in silence until Merle stopped outside a big building and this deep grey door. "Governors in there, I'm gonna go talk to some people about a few jobs for you," He explained, but I could tell he just wanted to walk off the anger. I couldn't begin to understand it, but it felt good, knowing I had someone on my side, even if it wasn't my best friend.

"I might not even need a job if my talk with The Governor goes well," I told him, finally feeling like I had calmed enough to speak without crying in anger or sadness. "I'm not sure how long I'll be so I'll come find you afterwards, yeah?"

Merle nodded and smiled at me, before he opened the door to the building and held it for me. "I'll see you soon," He smiled and I moved past him, heading inside and up the stairs as I went to find Philip, recognising some of the place before I stopped outside his office, taking in a deep breath before knocking.

"Governor, it's Maddie, can we talk?"

There was a silence from the other side, and I felt that maybe I wasn't loud enough, shifting my weight from one foot to the other as I tried to wait patiently, hearing a little movement from inside.

I reached up to knock again, but as I went to do that, the door opened up, and I came face to face with the man I wanted to see, Philip. "Ahh, Maddie, just the person I wanted to see," He smiled at me, and I pursed my lips.

"I came to discuss a proposition with you," I stuttered them out, feeling a little off, not really wanting to ask him at all, but he was the chain of command. If I could go to someone else, I would, I wanted to avoid seeing him. Father my ass.

He was no father to me, and I don't even want to see him as my father. I had one, and I lost him, I didn't need a replacement. "Of course, please, come in," He grinned and opened the door further, allowing me to push past him and into the office, where I looked around, taking it in again.

"So you wanted to talk to me?"

I nodded my head, turning around and seeing him head for his desk, so I headed for the chair in front of it, going to sit opposite him, but I watched his every move.

"I want to discuss a new plan with you, something that we could have for the community," I started, fiddling with my hands, my eyes travelling to the windows where I could see everyone outside walking around. Yet, I could tell he was watching me, taking me in.

"I think I can turn the empty section into a garden, a place where we can grow our own vegetables, start up fruit trees." I started the explanation, making sure to look him in the face so that he could see that I was being serious.

I was expecting him to feel like I couldn't do it, the typical thing a lot of American men feel towards women. But it was okay, I was used to it, and with the way he was acting, I wouldn't expect anything less from him, especially with the two words he said to me after finding out that I was his daughter.

You're mine.

Shaking them off, I placed the smile on my face again and watched him mull it over. I didn't want to be here any longer than I needed to. "Do you think you can do this?"

"Of course I can," I smiled, sitting up straighter and readjusting myself in the chair as I watched him, taking him in as he watched me back. "I already have an idea of how I want it to look."

A smile crossed his face and he clapped his hands before he sat forwards, resting the now entwined hands onto his desk, before he spoke up, making me realise that I wasn't getting out of here yet.

"So, tell me about yourself, please, I would like to know my daughter,"

Running my tongue over my teeth, I just stared at him, startled by the fact that he was even attempting to do this. "Well..." Trying to figure how to begin, I debated how much I was going to tell him, he wasn't my father, and I didn't want him to even attempt to be. "I'm an only child, not much to say really. I grew up with my mum and dad and passed School, and was just starting to get more into work, when the outbreak hit."

That was it, that was the amount I wanted to tell him, the last thing I wanted to do now was just discuss it with him. I wanted to get to work and build up the garden. Be out in the sunshine.

Philip didn't seem happy when I mentioned my father, the look on his face said everything. "Well, I understand that must have been hard for you, losing them both." He was trying to hide it, so I just smiled weakly and pretended I couldn't see how much it hurt him.

"Am I able to go, sir?" Telling him I was going to leave was a bad idea, I didn't want to piss him off at all, especially with the fact that I had no idea what his temperament was, other than the fact he always started the arguments with my mother. "I just want to get the garden set up as soon as possible,"

"Of course, go ahead." He nodded and sat back, swivelling around in his chair and looking out the window instead, I just stared at him as I stood, getting ready to head for the door so I could go find Merle.

"Am I able to go searching for any seeds?" I pondered, wanting his permission to leave the confines of the Community. If I was going to stay I needed to know what I can and can't do, so I could get used to not being able to make decisions myself and needing 'upper management' to make the call.

"I can't say that, you still have an injury," Philip still hadn't turned around, keeping his back to me, "Go ask Dr. Stevens." Nodding, I made my way to the door, opening it up before I glanced back at him.

"Thank you, sir."

Deciding to find Merle afterwards, I made my way into the streets, looking for the Hospital wing and attempting to remember where I was when I was admitted here. I had no idea where Merle was, other than the fact he was going to talk to some others about a job for me, but I really didn't want to have to explain to him that I wasn't going to work here for anyone other than myself.

Having to go to Philip regarding what I could and couldn't do, fine. I was happy to do that, but I wanted to do a job that I have chosen, not something that has been picked for me, because If I joined a job that I didn't like, then I'd end up biting the heads off of the people around me and that Is the last thing I want to do here.

I headed off in a direction to the right of Philips building, feeling his eyes on me from the window as I walked away to find Dr. Stevens, occasionally asking one or two people if I was even heading in the right direction to find her.

Yet, just as I approached the medical building, low and behold, the woman I was looking for, took a step out into the sun, hand raised to shield her eyes from the rays. "Dr. Stevens!" I called to her and jogged closer, smiling as I stopped at arms length before walking alongside her. "Could I have a moment?"

"Of course, what's wrong?" She was happy to walk beside me, both of us taking in the heat, and if it was anything like me, she was hating it too, how humid it made everything. I tried to quickly think of the way that I could say this, something in a way that might make her accept me going out into the world, even with my injured wrist.

"I just spoke to The Governor regarding starting up a garden here within the walls of the community," Well, the beginning seemed good so far, and I could tell she was interested from the way she glanced over at me. "I just need to be able to go out and find seeds, and was wondering if maybe I could go out, take one of the scavengers with me and go find some."

"Absolutely not."

The two words I had dreaded hearing, came out of her mouth almost instantly, ringing around my ears. "What? Why?!" I could've cried right here, it wasn't like I had been out in the world before on my own, or with one other person for months on end, surviving in the new world whilst she was inside these walls.

"You're injured and it will take a good two months before you will be at full strength and I don't want to risk anything happening to you," She explained and I just slowed my pace, feeling defeated. "Send Merle or your friend Jackson, they're both good to go."

"Right," I nodded my head and put on a fake smile, pretending to her that this was okay. "Very well, I shall go ask them to do that, have a good day!" The false positivity and smile was completely bogus and I didn't want to show it. I wanted to scream and shout and get angry, but I didn't have the energy to do so.

So I rushed off, not jogging, just speed walking towards where the new Garden will be, so I could at least begin the whole thing myself, show to everyone that no matter what, I was capable of doing things. I would not be seen as a weaker person because of my damn wrist. It wasn't even my fault in the first place.

I spent hours cleaning away the debris and making sure I had a good enough space to work from, ignoring the commotion through the small alleyway as people made their way by, some glancing in whilst others ignored whatever I was doing.

"Why are you here alone?"

The voice belonged to Merle, who must have been walking by. "I'm making a garden," I scowled, just wanting to calm down before I had to speak to anyone. "So just leave me be."

"No can do, sugar," I glanced over to him, watching as he leaned against the wall he was standing beside and just stared at me. There was no smile on his face, he was just stoically watching me, arms folded against his chest. "I want to help."

"Well I don't want your damn help!" I snarled, starting to feel my anger bubbling back again, so I turned back to the debris and chucked it to the side, the space was now flatter than before and ready to be swept so I could properly make up the beds for the soil.

"Well tough, I ain't leaving."

"Fucking go!" My voice got louder as I announced this to him, and was sure that those on the streets could hear me too, but I didn't care. "Just go!" Yet he was still there when I looked over at him, still standing against the wall with his arms folded. "GO!"

I just lost it, sliding the knife out it's holster and beelining for him, sticking the knife to his throat. "If it wasn't for you, I wouldn't be in this mess." My tone had dropped and almost like an animal, I growled at him, anger almost getting the better of me. "If it wasn't for you, I could do anything I wanted, but no, I'm stuck inside because someone tried to run me over."

I gave up on everything and pulled away from him, heading off down the alley and into the streets, away from Merle, so I could head back for my apartment, no longer wanting to be around anyone at all.

"Doll, come on."

Ignoring him trying to call after me, I just stormed off to my apartment before I slammed the door behind me and locked it, my emotions just getting the better of me, everything that had happened so recently just flowing through me.

I burst into tears, feeling like everything was crumbling around me. My father dying as I watched, Merle trying to run me over, the nightmares, the fact that Jackson no longer seemed to care, and now I had to deal with Philip trying to get into my life. I was losing my grip on the walls that I had built up.

Running to the bathroom, I tried to breathe, staring at myself in the mirror, yet I couldn't get control of myself at all, feeling like a lost cause. I didn't want to do this anymore. Feeling like my head was going to explode, I headed for the bed, tossing the empty bottles away from it and putting the bag on the floor before I led down, basically collapsing onto it before I cried myself stupid, feeling this huge pressure on my chest as I tried to breathe between.

I just wanted the pain to end.