Hello! So I can only apologise for how long this has taken. For me, this is a filler chapter and I always find those the biggest struggle to write. There's so much building up and explanations I have to try fit in, I just lost my mojo - so to speak! This is I think, the longest chapter yet though so I hope that makes up for it. Thank you so much for all the support thus far. I'm so glad some of you are enjoying it, and hope that continues to be the case. I promise not to leave it as long until the next update. I pretty much know where this is going and have many chapters planned, but this one was hard work, and like I say, a filler. So I'm sorry if it's too rambley! I'm trying to get back into the swing of writing.

"Ready?" Peter stood in the doorway of Carla's cell as she rose to her feet at the sound of his voice, smoothing down her blazer. He took in the sight before him. Boy did she look good in a suit. This was the first time he was able to get a glimpse - well, in the flesh anyway, of just what she'd look like away from prison life. He felt it would be inappropriate to compliment her given the reasoning behind her outfit but suddenly became aware that him staring at her was probably speaking a thousand compliments in itself anyway.

"Ready" Carla confirmed before pulling a nervous face "I think?". It was Carla's bail hearing, her chance to escape her imprisonment whilst the investigation continued and she waited for the final court hearing and verdict

"You'll be fine. I'm sure of it"

"How can you be so sure though? You don't know Frank, how clever he is"

"No, but I know you. And I know that you didn't do it" Peter's voice was lowered now, careful that the conversation wouldn't be overheard. "You need to have confidence in yourself or you'll look guilty. You know the truth, own it"

Carla smiled at his words, he always knew the right thing to say. "Well in that case, I guess this is goodbye then Barlow?"

Something in the pit of Peter's stomach churned upon hearing Carla say them words. As happy as he was that she could get her life back, it was bittersweet as it meant he would no longer be seeing her. Of course, it wasn't his place to show his personal feelings on the matter though "Indeed it is. And if it wasn't against the rules, I'd come give you a hug goodbye"

"Them damn rules aye?" Carla's eyes met Peter's. They couldn't have the physical contact they both desired in this moment but the looks between them were enough to convey how much they'd miss each other, even if they couldn't admit it aloud

"Barlow? She ready?" An officer broke their gaze as he called from the corridor

"She is indeed"

Peter stepped to the side as Carla exited her cell for what she hoped would be the last time. "Thanks for everything Barlow" She glanced back over her shoulder as Peter smiled back at her

"My pleasure. And in the nicest possible way, I hope I never have to see you again"

"Charming" Carla raised an eyebrow before walking out of the cell block. "Bye" she called out for the final time, not even glancing back as she disappeared out of sight, leaving Peter stood with a mind full of mixed emotions. He'd built bonds with prisoners in the past, found it tough to say goodbye sometimes. But Carla, she was in a different league. As long as she was happy though. That's what truly mattered.

Carla stood in the box, glaring through the perspex screen as Michelle, Maria, Hayley and Roy all sat in the public stands, each looking just as nervous as she did.

The courtroom did their usual speakings, all of which felt like they took forever. The prosecution presented the case and the allegations Carla had against her..

"...The accused attacked Mr Foster with a knife, the intention of taking his life evident...".

.. Carla's solicitor plead her appeal for bail..

"..There's no sufficient reason or evidence that indicates that Mrs Connor would not obey the bail conditions should they be granted to her.."

..The part that mattered most to Carla finally came as the judge spoke her decision on whether Carla would remain in custody..

"Thank you for your submissions. I've considered them carefully.."

"Hey Ciaran" Peter jogged to catch up with his colleague and friend who was approaching the staff room "Have you heard anything back from the court hearing?"

"Court hearing?" Ciaran's confusion became evident

"Yeah, Carla's" he immediately noticed his slip up "..I mean, Connor's. I've been stuck over in medical all morning"

"No buddy, sorry. I didn't even know it was happening today" Ciaran shrugged, noticing his friends worry "Are you alright?"

"Yeah I'm fine" Peter brushed him off "Just really need this break that's all, been a hectic morning"

"Ahh Barlow, I was hoping to find you" Becky interrupted their conversation as she charged towards them in her coat, clearly about to set off for the day "Would you mind if I juggled today's rota round a little bit? I need you to take a session"

"What's the urgency?" Peter quizzed, not particularly eager to give up his break

"It's Connor. She's on her way back" Peter's heart sunk at the realisation that Carla evidently hadn't been granted bail. "Things didn't go well and apparently she's got herself into a bit of a state. Ideally I want her calm before she goes back into that lot out there, she's refusing to speak to the escorts and I've got back-to-back meetings off site all afternoon"

"Yeah that's fine, I'll try get through to her" Peter reassured her. He always respected Becky's treatment of the prisoners. He'd heard plenty of horror stories about previous Governors who were completely unsympathetic and tough on both prisoners and staff, Becky couldn't be further from that though.

"Thank you, you're a star. She's not back yet so go have a cuppa and I'll put you on a later lunch" She instructed as she rushed back off in the opposite direction "I'll see you guys tomorrow" she added as she wandered out of sight

Peter turned back round to see Ciaran looking at him with an eyebrow raised "Very accommodating of you Barlow, considering you were so desperate for your lunch break"

"What can I say, I'm a very accommodating guy.." Peter jokingly brushed off his comment "And for my troubles, you can make me a brew" He patted his friend on the arm before walking round him and entering the staff room

It wasn't long before Peter had been radioed to the session. After one of the escorts had finished explaining the morning's events to him, he thanked them before entering the room himself. Carla was sat in the corner, her head buried in her knees as she sobbed into them. He crouched down in front of her, speaking gently "Hey you" he poked her arm lightly as she continued to cry, aware of his presence but unable to acknowledge him "It's okay, just let it all out. I'm right here" He manoeuvred himself to the space beside her, sitting himself down with his back also against the wall as he stretched up to the cabinet next to him, pulling the box of tissues down. In all honesty, he didn't really know what to say. More than anything he just wanted to hug her and help ease the sound of the sobs that were tearing him apart inside. He glanced about the room, looking up at the security camera. They were only wired up to Becky's office and he knew she was out all afternoon. Surely he could get away with pushing the boundaries a bit? He leaned his arm across himself as he placed his hand onto the arm Carla had wrapped round her legs, gentry stroking the pad of his thumb across her suit jacket in a soothing motion. "Please talk to me Carla". Even though she didn't intend on ignoring him, she simply couldn't catch a breath to even begin talking. The more she cried, the more out of control her breaths got. Peter continued with his reassurances, making sure to keep her grounded in the hope her mind wouldn't take her elsewhere. The longer they sat there, the calmer she got.

"Have you got a tissue please?" she finally murmured, catching Peter by surprise as he fumbled for the box beside him, depositing a load into her hand as she wiped the mixture of tears and snot that had soaked her face. Finally raising her head slightly to pull herself out of her state. "Sorry about that" she turned her head to look at Peter, placing it so her cheek was now resting on the arm that was wrapped around her knees, a position that felt comforting to her right now

He offered her a lopsided smile as he took in her blotchy face, her eyes puffy and red but glistening the most greenest of shades. He raised his finger to her face, pulling away the hair that was clinging to the dampness of her cheek and tucking it behind her ear "Don't be sorry, most women always come crying back after they've left me"

Carla couldn't help but smile at his comment, appreciative of his ability to always make her laugh. She wasn't in the mood to joke back herself though, instinctively finding herself opening up instead "I'm never getting out am I? I'm really going to go down for this"

Peter's heart broke at her defeated words "Hey, just because today didn't go well, that's not to say it's over. You've lost one of the battles, not the whole war"

"I don't think I've got enough fight left in me for the war"

"Well then, it's a good job you've got me to help you then isn't it. Every solider needs some back up from time to time"

"Everything is stacked against me Barlow. No alibi, found at the scene of the crime, motive.. and most worryingly of all, a lying, conniving ex who says I did it"

Peter could tell Carla was comfortable opening up and he was intrigued "If you don't mind me asking.. what exactly is he saying you did?"

Carla hesitated for a moment, worrying that Peter might change his view on her if he heard the accusations. She looked at the way his eyes were softly boring into hers though, encouraging her.. she felt ready to tell him "He says I stabbed him. That I went round his house and attacked him for trying to take my business. I really didn't though, I mean yes, I went to his house intent on giving him a piece of my mind for screwing with me. But when I got there, the front door was wide open, I could see him on the floor in the kitchen already stabbed. I tried to help him, grabbed a tea towel to put pressure on the wound, stupidly moved the knife to the side, called the ambulance.."

"Wait, you called the ambulance?" Peter was shocked, despite all this man had done to her, she had still tried to save him

"Yeah, more fool me aye. All I'd done is walk straight into his trap. I waited with him whilst the police came. He kept apologising to me and saying that me saving him was a sign I still loved him, could forgive him. I told him that would never happen and then by the time the police got there, he started screaming telling me to get away from him as I'd tried to kill him. Even I would think I was guilty if I was on the outside looking in"

Peter shook his head in disbelief, saddened that even he couldn't deny how difficult this would be for her to plead her innocence to "So the true culprit is still out there?"

Carla nodded slightly "That or he did it to himself, I truly wouldn't put anything past him. And I just conveniently helped his story along by turning up at the perfect time"

"The fact you even have to question if he'd do it to himself shows what a nasty piece of work he is"

"I don't half pick them huh?"

"One bad guy isn't a reflection on you Carla"

"Oh really? I guess I haven't had chance to mention that my recent ex husband was a psychotic murderer who tried to frazzle me in my own factory and the husband before that was a prostitute frequenter.. it's like I'm a magnet for vile, deranged men"

"I'll try not to take too much offence from that" Peter quipped

"You're an exception Barlow, anyway it's not quite the same is it. You're my.." Carla's expression turned quizzical as she tried to label what exactly Peter was to her

"I'm your?…" Peter probed in a teasing manner, intrigued to see what she would finish her sentence with

"Mentor.. slash emotional punchbag.. slash personal tea maker?" Carla replied, quite impressed with her summary

"I mean, that's a very impressive round up. I could settle for that"

"So go on then, what would your position with me be exactly?"

"Hmmm…. Let me think… doggy?.. cowgirl?… you into those?" Peter joked as Carla lifted her head from her hands, her jaw falling open in shock

"In your dreams Barlow"

"Mmm, indeed it has been" he offered her a wink as Carla became very aware of the sudden giddy rush this caused in the pit of her stomach. She was sure he was just bantering, but she couldn't help noticing this was definitely on the more flirtatious side of things. "I daren't tell my girlfriend that though" He added as the giddy feeling in Carla's stomach very quickly turned to a sunken disappointment

"You have a girlfriend?" She tried to mask the disappointment and shock in her voice and expression as well as she could, annoyed at herself that she'd definitely failed in both

Peter observed her expression for a moment, deciding that from the look on her face he couldn't keep it up "No" he finally broke the tension, seeing the relief wash over her face despite the fact she was trying to conceal it. "I just wanted to see how disappointed you'd be"

"You're weird, you" Carla shook her head in amusement before resting her head back onto the arms she still had keeping her legs in place with her chest. "It's not actually any of my business what you get up to anyway, is it?"

Peter felt a twinge of sadness within himself, that line bringing him back to reality, reminding him of the place in which they were actually sat having this conversation. Something that was always so easy to forget when he was with Carla. "I guess not" his eyes met hers, a mutual look of sadness shared between them. "In reference to your earlier question though, just know that whatever this is" he gestured between them both "my position with you is different to any position I've held with any of the other women in here. I just need you to know that"

"Well, that's nice to know Barlow. I'm honoured" Carla replied truthfully, genuinely touched by the time and attention Peter gave her

"And for that reason, whenever it's just the two of us, I might even actually let ya call me by my real name, rather than this surname malarkey that forces a position of power"

Carla's eyes widened slightly "You mean.. you actually have a name? Ohhhh let me guess what it is!" Peter laughed at Carla's sudden playful manner, a huge contrast to the state he'd found her in to begin with

"Go on then" he rolled his eyes, knowing the chances of her getting it were slim but humouring her anyway

She finally dropped her legs from her chest, reshuffling herself so she was facing him better, a clear sign to Peter that her state of panic had now eased. It appeared she was taking this very seriously as she scanned his face, taking in all his features "Hmmm.. I reckon you look like a George, like a mini Geroge Clooney"

Peter grinned at her compliment "Nope"

"Michael?"

"No"

"James?"

"Way off.."

"Please don't tell me it's something ridiculous like, I don't know, Hunter?"

"Hunter?" Peter chuckled "I'd give you full permission to disown me if that was the case. You're never going to get it so you may as well just let me tell you"

"Ugh fine go on then" Carla reluctantly admitted defeat

He proudly held out his hand, deciding to add some humour to it "Nice to meet you Carla, I'm Peter" Carla smiled, relieved he didn't have a bad name

She smirked as she grabbed his hand in return and shook it "The pleasure is all mine Peter" Even the way in which she pronounced his name, completely dismissing the 'T' in the middle, made his stomach flip. That and the grasp she had maintained on his hand, neither of them letting go despite the hand shake being over. Using this to his advantage he raised himself up, pulling her with him.

"Come on trouble. As much as I'd love to sit playing 'Guess who' with you in here for longer, sadly I can't. We need to go get you changed"

"We hmmm?" Carla raised an eyebrow at his instruction

"YOU need to get yourself changed" he corrected himself as Carla just smirked, pleased with the affect she had on him

"You alright in there?" Peter called out from his position by the door in the shower room as he waited for Carla to change out of her court clothes

"All good" She chirped as she yanked back the shower curtain

"That was quick"

"What can I say? I must have a talent for undressing quickly" she teased as he went to take the folded pile of clothes from her, grasping thin air as she averted them from his grip, placing them onto the bench beside them. She began fiddling with her hands, unable to look at him, evidently nervous for whatever it was she was about to say "On a scale of one to ten, how inappropriate would it be for me to hug you right now.. you know, just a small display of affection as a thank you?" Peter was inwardly shocked by her question, though secretly very relieved he wasn't the only one keen for some physical contact between them

"I mean, definitely a ten" he responded as Carla nodded, about to apologise for even suggesting it "but then again, we've seen how willing I am to bend the rules for you.. and there's no cctv allowed in here so.." with that confirmation, he allowed her to slowly edge herself forward and make the move. She wrapped her arms up around his neck and pushed her body up against his as he followed her lead, snaking his arms around her waist, pulling her as close to him as she possibly could be. They stood in a blissful silence, both relaxing into the hug and just enjoying the physical contact with the other. Finally Peter dared to speak, unable to hold it in any longer "And whilst we're in the midst of total inappropriateness, my god do you look good in a suit" he spoke quietly into her ear, aware it was only them in the room but still cautious of being over heard.

Carla felt the instant blush rise to her cheeks as she pulled her face away from his shoulder. Their grip on one another remaining but their faces now inches apart "You didn't really have to say that you know.. your face this morning kind of did all the talking" Peter's cheeks had now also turned a crimson shade, a bashful grin spread across his face as he found himself looking away in an attempt to mask his embarrassment "But thank you. And thank you for this afternoon. You helped me a lot. I can't even begin to imagine what this place would be like without you" Peter's averted eye contact had returned to meet Carla's now. Strangely enough, despite the fact she'd only been here for a short period of time, he felt the same about her when it came to this place. Something he'd come to realise today whilst waiting to find out if she'd be returning. He couldn't yet bring himself to respond, the electricity between them now more evident than ever as he found his hands absentmindedly finding their way to the bare skin of her back that had become exposed between her risen vest top and her leggings, gently tracing his fingers up and down the lower part of her spine

"You're more than welcome" he finally managed to speak, swallowing the lump that had formed in his throat at their newfound closeness "I'll always do anything I can to be there for you and to comfort you, I promise" Carla nodded slowly as her eyes continued to look deep into his, she was so lost in their eye contact she couldn't tell if their faces were actually inching closer together or if it was just a figment of her imagination. But the hotness of his breath hitting hers quickly confirmed to her that they were in fact slowly getting drawn closer and closer together, both of them aware of it but neither rushing to change it. It was as if they was in complete unison, as their eyes both began to slowly shut, their lips edging closer together as the both of them felt their hearts almost thudding out their chests, their breaths hitching in their throats as they prepared for their lips to meet..

But suddenly they were brought back to reality with a thud and both jumped apart at the sudden interruption of Peter's radio blasting out "Barlow, can you confirm your location? Over" Peter growled with frustration as he reluctantly let Carla free from his grip, fumbling with his radio

"Erm.. yes, just es.. escorting an inmate in the shower rooms…….., over" he replied in a fluster, forgetting the correct manner in which he should respond. His heart rate was going ten to a dozen, both a mixture of excitement from the moment with Carla seconds before and also from the fear of being caught in the middle of doing something he most definitely should not have been doing. "We erm, we best get you back" Peter suddenly found himself feeling more awkward with Carla than he ever had done. Unsure how to place himself, feeling annoyed but grateful at the interruption of their moment

"Mhm" Carla quietly agreed, folding her arms caress herself after handing him back her clothes. There was a massive shift in atmosphere as the pair of them made their way to Carla's cell, both reflecting on what had almost just happened and trying to gather if they were more disappointed or relieved. One thing's for sure, they were on dangerous territory..

It had been a few days since Carla and Peter's interaction. Carla sat huddled round playing cards with the women from wing C. Since the day she'd saved her, Matthews had warmed to Carla a lot more and was now much more inclusive, something Carla was really enjoying as it made her time in there a hell of a lot easier.

"Here did you hear about the mouthful Marquez gave to Barlow this morning? Apparently she's lost all her telephone privileges for a week" Jackson sniggered, always amused by gossip and other people getting in trouble

"I was there, it was proper class, she gave him a right piece of her mind" Matthews spoke, noticing Carla remaining extremely quiet on the matter, not even laughing along with the others "Was he alright though Gucci? Didn't cry too much did he?"

"Hmm? how would I know?"

"Well he's your bit on the side ain't he? You two are always together, whispering in corners. You'll have to give us tips on how to crack the guards" Carla suddenly found herself in the spotlight as the game came to a halt and all the women turned to face her, intrigued by Matthews statement

Panic rose in Carla but she knew she had to respond quick "Don't be ridiculous. As if a guard is going to go for an inmate." She tried to play it casual and combat the allegations in the best way she could, mainly just worried about jeopardising Peter's position in any way

"Oh come on, the only reason male guard's work in female prisons is so they can perve over us all" Matthews goaded as Carla just rolled her eyes, prompting Matthews to continue her probing "Notice how you're not denying something from your side though. Bet you've been having dirty dreams and everything about him haven't ya you randy mare" the other women erupted into fits of giggles like a bunch of hormonal school girls as Carla grew more and more annoyed, trying to hide the panic that was continuing to rise inside her

"Careful now, sounds to me like you're trying to deflect your own feelings there Matthews" Carla responded in the best way she knew how, to shift the focus and avoid protesting too much.

"Aye up. Talk of the devil.. wonder who he's here for. Come to get his girlfriend out of hot water I bet.." All the girls turned to face Peter as he unlocked the gate to the wing. Carla just remained with her back to him, internally praying he wasn't here for her

"Ladies" he nodded towards the group of oggling women all sat with daft grins on their faces "Connor?" Carla's heart sunk at the sound of her name, as she mirrored the other girls positions and turned to face him "There's a spot free in kitchen duty, do you mind helping?" he asked, she had always requested that he call upon her when a space became available, eager to keep herself busy and distracted, so he knew she wouldn't mind

Carla chucked her cards down onto the table as she stood, just grateful for the opportunity to escape the situation she was caught up in "Sure" she went to manoeuvre her way out of the group before she heard Matthews mutter utter something under her breath, loud enough so only the girls could hear

"aka 'let's go shag'" the women all tried to stifle their laughs as Carla stopped in her tracks, glaring back at them before looking back towards Peter who stood oblivious to the comment. Knowing what she had to do to fix this, Carla abruptly changed her mind "Nah actually, I'm good ta" She could see her comment had understandably caught Peter by surprise

"Oh. I just thought that you.." He went on to explain before she interrupted

"That I what? was your little lapdog? You say jump and I say how high? I'm good thanks. Go pick on someone else, anyone would think you were obsessed with me" She barked back, hoping he would sense that she wasn't meaning anything she said, she just had to do everything she could to throw the other women off the scent

Peter had no idea though. The panic was setting in that perhaps he'd made Carla feel uncomfortable the other day, and that was the last thing he would've wanted. "I'm sorry, I didn't realise it would bother you. I didn't mean any offence" he apologised, hoping that would calm her down.

Carla felt herself softening as Peter's kindness, finding herself more and more worried that he definitely couldn't sense the scene she was deliberately trying to cause. Matthews comments rang through her head though, and she knew she had to do this for Peter. "That's the problem with you guards. Just a sexist bunch of power hungry pervs. You're probably still at home, reliant on your Mummy, used to her pandering to your every need. Well not today Barlow, go find another skivvy" Amongst the panic of it all, the words slipped out of Carla's mouth before she even had chance to process them. Regret instantly filling her at the realisation she'd brought up his Mum, him having only recently told her in a session that he'd tragically lost her as a child. She saw the hurt hit Peter like a ton of bricks as he looked over at the bunch of sniggling women, unsure of Carla's motives but angry that she'd gone there

"Right well a simple no would've done" He held his hands up in defeat, unsure of how to handle this situation so instead just turning to leave, oblivious to Carla trying to mouth 'sorry' to him. As he reached the gate he heard one of the girls mutter a derogatory comment, the final straw for him. "Actually do you know what?" he whipped himself around "You don't get to speak to me like that. I'm no longer asking you, I'm telling you. Kitchen duty.. now" his tone was stern, something Carla had never experienced from him before. It was evident to her now that she'd really pushed him too far

"Don't listen to him Gucci, come back and join us" One of the women uttered. Carla was glad she'd clearly had the desired affect on the women, but her heart was shattering at the knowledge she'd clearly hurt and angered Peter. She stood on the spot, like piggy in the middle, unsure of her next move.

"Unless the whole lot of you want to lose your telephone privileges, I suggest you shut it and let Connor do what I've told her to do"

"It's fine girls, I'll be back soon. Don't sacrifice yourselves for me. Deal me a new hand yeah?" She continued her pally facade with them until her and Peter were completely away from the wing. He was marching ahead of her as she found herself jogging to catch up

"Can you talk to me please?" she begged as he continue to ignore her, with a hushed voice she called out to him, knowing this would get his attention "Peter?!"

"Don't call me that" he hissed back at her as he continued marching in front. "It's Barlow. Or Perv, if that's your preference"

"I didn't mean that, obviously! The girls.. they were saying things about me and you, winding me up.. and I panicked, I had to throw them off the scent"

"There's no scent to be thrown off?! there is no me and you" He demanded, as they continued to make their way down the corridor

"I know and I didn't think there was? I'm telling you what they were saying" Carla was growing frustrated now "You know me, surely you have to know I didn't mean any of that back there?"

"I thought I did" Peter stopped in his tracks, finally turning to face her as they reached the corridor that cornered off into the kitchen. "But regardless of what you were trying to do, bringing my Mum into it after I'd opened up to you.. that was low"

Tears pooled in Carla's eyes now as she could see through his facial expression just how much she'd hurt him, when all she was actually trying to do was protect him. "I know and I'm so, so sorry. I was just trying to protect you"

"The inmates always spread stupid rumours Carla. You're not the first inmate I've been linked to and you won't be the last. But carry on doing what you have to do to survive. I'm just a guard after all" Carla completely lost sight of their surroundings and went to grab onto his arm as he turned away, something he deflected as he quickly shrugged her off, noticing a fellow officer approaching

"Oh erm, Bennett.. I've brought Connor down for kitchen duty. Do you mind covering for me? I've got a thumping headache I need to try go sort" Carla's heart sunk at Peter's clear efforts to get away from her before they'd properly had chance to resolve anything

"Course. Just let the Gov know we've switched" Bennett responded as Peter nodded, taking himself away, knowing he needed to go calm himself down and process what had just happened

Monday:

Carla paced her cell up and down as she waited to be fetched for her session with Peter, eager to properly talk things through and apologise for what had gone on. She'd been lucky that the other women hadn't said anything else to her since, all just impressed by her mouthing off to a guard. But her priority was sorting it with Peter, it had just been his weekend off so she hadn't had chance to see him at all. She was hopeful this session would completely resolve it though. But as The Governor entered her cell, it quickly became clear that didn't look likely to happen. She would never usually be on the floor escorting inmates so Carla instantly knew something was up

"Connor, I just wanted to come speak to you personally to let you know that Officer Barlow won't be taking your session this week. I'm sorry it's short notice, something's come up and he no longer feels fit to carry on the sessions with any cell mates for the foreseeable"

Carla tried really hard to hide her disappointment, unsure of how good a job she was doing "Oh.. Is he okay? How come he's not able to tell me?" Carla couldn't help the questions that were spilling out, knowing this was her only opportunity to get answers

"He's fine, nothing for you to worry about. It wasn't an easy decision for him to make though as his sessions are helpful to a fair few of you, so he asked me to inform you. But in the meantime he's suggested I offer you the counsellor again. He was insistent that he didn't want you left without any support so please know that option is there if you require. This isn't us cutting you off from extra support, and hopefully Officer Barlow will feel able to continue the sessions again soon"

Carla just nodded, plastering on a smile "It's fine, I understand. I think I'll be able to manage for the time being thank you" Carla assured Becky as she smiled and exited the cell, causing Carla to let down her barriers as she slumped down onto her bed and broke down into tears. Tears of disappointment that she'd no longer have these moments with Peter, tears of sadness over knowing she'd clearly hurt him, and most overpowering of all, tears of anger that she had messed up a good thing. AGAIN. That always seemed to be her default. Fucking things up.

Friday:

As Peter sat sipping on his tea in the staff room, he reflected on his week. On Carla mainly, the person he'd not been able to stop thinking about on a daily basis. He was feeling a strong sense of guilt over pulling out of their sessions, as well as a large dose of worry. He'd briefly seen her around the prison throughout the week. She'd stopped making any efforts to speak to him, whether that was through her own sense of guilt or annoyance at him, he wasn't sure. But she didn't look good; she looked sad. Deflated. She was always surrounded by the girls from her wing, so even if he'd been brave enough to check on her, he wasn't able to. And of course she always held a front around them, but he knew her well enough to see past that now. To know when she was pretending to be okay. As time went on, he knew he'd overreacted in the moment last Friday. But he was shocked, he hadn't expected Carla to turn like that. Upon reflection though and despite only knowing the minor details she'd been able to get across to him in their discussion afterwards, he knew that she'd done it with pure intentions. And he knew that she'd probably just got caught up in the moment and got lost within what she was saying for affect. He should be grateful that she cared so much to protect him. Especially when she easily could've thrown him under the bus, let people know about some of the private moments they'd shared. He was annoyed at how selfish he'd been, how ignorantly he'd treated her. He couldn't begin to imagine how difficult this journey must be for her, and now she was finally fitting in, he had to understand she had to do everything in her power to maintain those relationships with the other women, regardless of if she wanted to or not, it was beneficial to her time in here. And that should've been his priority too. Not worrying about his stupid male pride. He had to remember that as easy as it was to forget, Carla was an inmate. Their connection was formed in abnormal circumstances, this wasn't the real world. And if it was, there would've never been an issue. As he downed the remainder of his tea, he knew he had to go find her. Apologising was his priority, but also, he missed his contact with her. After ending their sessions, he'd already asked Becky if he could just check in with her today, so he eagerly made his way to her cell, keen to get things back on track.

As he reached the wing though, he was surprised to see her door shut. Prisoners weren't often allowed them shut during the day and the rest of the wing was empty, clearly all out in the courtyard or something. As he went to push it, he found the door was locked. Another surprise to him. Giving the door a knock and sliding the small rectangular slot across, he peeked in just to check if she was even in there, his body instantly tensing up and filling with absolute dread at the sight he was met with. She was completely unresponsive, lying face down in a pool of blood. He panicked and fumbled with his keys, rushing to get the door open. After what felt like a lifetime and realising she'd locked it from the inside, he finally flung it open and rushed to her side. What the hell had she done? He flipped her over, noticing that the pool of blood she was lying in was actually coming from her mouth. Her body was cold, her face extremely pale and her eyes were rolled back. As he held her in his arms, repeatedly saying her name in the hope it would bring her round, her whole body began to violently convulse. More thick red liquid began to spill out of her mouth as Peter acted quickly, scared she may be choking on her own vomit or have bitten her tongue whilst fitting. Placing her in the recovery position he called for a medical emergency to her cell down his radio. In the meantime, he stroked her hair to the side as she lay fitting, he felt completely helpless, scared of what was happening to her. He grabbed her hand in his, reassuring her he was there as he placed a fleeting kiss to her temple. "Please stay with me Carla. Please. It's going to be okay" he whispered to her as the medical team and a swarm of officers came flying in, as Peter reluctantly stood up and backed away, watching on in horror as they attended to her. Now that he was able to take in the whole scene in front of him, he spotted the empty bottle that lay inches away from her body. Placing some plastic gloves on, he picked it up, bringing it to his nose and heaving at the smell alone. It had clearly previously had some concoction of alcohol in there, but it certainly wasn't something that should've been consumed. The smell of it alone felt like it could burn your insides. As the realisation that she'd been drinking hit him, the guilt over cancelling their sessions hit him even harder. He unknowingly mirrored Carla's exact position five days prior, slumping down onto her bed and placing his head into his hands to hide the tears that were brimming in his eyes. Tears of disappointment that Carla had resorted to this, tears of sadness over the fact he was probably a large part of the reason she did, and tears of anger at himself for not being there for her when he'd always promised he would be. This was all his fault, he'd fucked up and now Carla was paying the price. He could only sit and pray that she would be okay. And that if she was, she could find it within herself to forgive him. Because like her with him, he truly couldn't imagine this place without her. And he'd never forgive himself if she came to long term harm.