Chapter 1:

Chatting with old Mates

A woman with bright, red hair piled on top of her head sank down into a ratty couch with a sigh. This was the first time in a week she was able to sit down and breathe. Between the odd hour shifts in St. Mungos, the secret, random missions for the order, and the horrible nightmares which followed—sleep became a luxury Lily Evans rarely enjoyed. She had planned for tonight off months in advance. After all, it was her birthday, and all she wanted was a hot bubble bath, a slice of Victoria Sponge Cake, and a good book. She thumbed through her mother's old recipe book—well, a magical duplicate of it.

(Petunia insisted on having the original one after their mother died. But, thankfully, magic was magic and Lily Evans was very good at charms, and so duplicate or not, Lily's copy still had her mother's notes, dog-eared pages, and even the yeasty smell of their family's old kitchen, now gone. Gas leak, according to the Muggle police, but Lily knew better.)

She found the page on Victoria Sponge Cake and rubbed her mother's handwriting: Lily's Favorite which was scribbled above the title. Then, she started re-reading the directions. She was just getting to her mother's annotations arguing with the recipe writer's opinion on the filling when a loud crack resounded off the walls of her flat.

Acting on instinct, she grasped her wand and shot a nonverbal spell at the source of the sound. Heart pumping, she got off of her comfy seat and crept up to the man who she stunned. He had fallen face first, and so Lily ignored the smell of him (which was really quite horrid) and turned him over. A choked sound pushed its way out of her throat as she saw the face of her intruder.

He wore his hair much longer and a bit more ragged than when she last saw him. His skin was tanned and peeling, from many days of tracking or running outside. His cloak was rather dirty and ripped, and his clothes hung looser on his frame than she remembered. However, his eyes remained the same stormy grey color.

Hastily she muttered the counter spell. It was only then she noticed how badly her hands were shaking.

"Well hello to you too, Lil! I see your reflexes are as brilliant as ever. However, you didn't even make sure I was the real Sirius! What would Moody say? Constant vigilance, Evans!" He smoothly picked himself off the floor and flashed a grin. As he straightened his grimy shirt, Lily noticed that his posture was as flawless as always. Raised in a pureblood society that prided itself on its manners, its wealth, and of course, its disdain for all things muggle, Sirius's perfect posture, strangely, was his only giveaway of his past.

"Sirius, when did you get back? Sorry 'bout the stun, you startled me." Lily chose to ignore his jibe.

"I just did. I remembered it was your birthday and wanted to stop by to see how you were doing, and you know..." He shoved his hands in his pockets and smiled

"Maybe get some cake." Lily said.

"Maybe get some cake." He agreed. Lily laughed and then wrapped her arms around him. With everything going on, they hadn't seen each other for three months. Sirius hesitated for a second, and then squeezed her back much tighter. It was then she realized how much she missed this boy. She missed his dark and rather twisted humor, his teasing smile: his hugs that made her feel a little bit safer. After a while, they let go.

"It feels like forever since I last saw you, and all the boys! I think the last time we were all together was at Remus's birthday down at the pub? I can't remember much of that evening though. Come and put on an apron, tie up your hair, and fill me in on what's happening," She said, walking back into the kitchen.

"Yeah I think that's right. You got us going on that stupid drinking game—"

"You mean excellent drinking game—" Lily interrupted and threw a pink, frilly apron in Sirus's direction.

"And Remus and Peter got so smashed that they started singing Celestia Warbeck at the karaoke machine-" Sirius ignored her comment, slipped the apron over his head, and followed her into the kitchen.

"Oh is that why we got kicked out? I only vaguely remember holding a pair of maracas as we were escorted out."

"Yeah—the muggles thought we had drunk ourselves mad at that point."

"Well they weren't wrong!" They smiled at each other, a little sadly. Then Lily started pulling out the ingredients and the mixer. It had been Remus's birthday party and his going away party. Dumbledore was sending him on a long term mission to go undercover in a werewolf pack. All four of them—Peter, Sirius, Remus, and Lily—had drunk themselves sick that last weekend in muggle London trying to forget the danger for a while.

"Speaking of that, I brought along a birthday gift for you." Lily turned around and Sirius magically produced two bottles of Ogden's Finest Firewhiskey with bright pink bows on the caps. She lifted an eyebrow.

"I don't know how well that goes with the cake, but thank you. Here, start measuring out 200 grams of flour into this bowl." Lily traded the flour for the firewhisky and went to put it away.

"Maybe keep those out for a little while."

"Why?"

Sirius didn't answer. He had turned away from her, scooping flour into her sifter silently. Lily felt a cold chill go through her. Her stomach clenched.

"Sirius, what's happened?" She paused, then said: "Who died?" Her voice was dull and hollow sounding. Was it someone they knew? Dorcas? She hadn't seen her flatmate in weeks, and they hadn't had a proper catch up in even longer. Maybe there was a reason she hadn't heard from her beyond Auror business. But Sirius came to see her personally, bringing firewhiskey, and had he looked a little broken? He wouldn't do all of that if it were Dorcas. Was it Remus then? Or Peter? Or maybe James?

More than ever, she wished she was back at Hogwarts, back safe in that old, stone castle, tucked into one of the chairs in the Gryffindor common room. Back when she thought her family was safe in their little house in Cokeworth. Back when the rumors and news in The Prophet seemed like a bad dream. Sirius's harsh, barking laugh interrupted her.

"No, it's nothing like that Lily," He said, and finally turned to face her, "It's bloody brilliant news." He spat out angrily. She frowned in confusion. Reaching in his pocket, he pulled out a torn, folded thin piece of paper.

"Read it." Lily took it and opened it gently. Her heart stopped.

James Potter Engaged To Prime Minister's Daughter

She read the title of the news article over and over, not comprehending the meaning. After hearing nothing about him for two years, imagining the worst, she was now seeing his name in a gossip column.

"I was passing through France last night, on my way back. Saw this in their newspaper."

She couldn't breathe. The black typed print swam in front of her eyes, and she couldn't seem to look at the picture of the happy couple.

"Lily? I am sorry. So bloody sorry." Warm arms went around her.

"No, no, it's fine. I'm fine. I don't even know why I'm acting like this. He's not dead. " She pushed him away, gently, and went to her pantry looking for something. "What's next on the recipe? Is it baking soda or baking powder?"

"Lily."

"Sirius." Lily said back, mocking his tone.

He said nothing, waiting.

"Really, I'm fine. I am absolutely fucking fine." She grabbed both the baking soda and the baking powder. She brought them to the sifter, tried to get her teaspoon into one—it wouldn't fit into the slot—and her hands were shaking, so she just started pouring a little baking soda into the sifter. She'd made this recipe so many times; she didn't need to measure it. She could make it with her eyes closed. She could make it even with the wrong type of rising agent. She was a fucking witch, for Merlin's sake! Still, Sirius said nothing. He just watched her.

"It's been two years, Sirius. Two! We broke up a long time ago, and it's not like we've kept in contact. It'd be weird if he hadn't moved on. I'm really okay." She grabbed the salt shaker next, and the stupid thing exploded in her hands—salt and glass falling all over her counters, in her sifter and bowl. She drew out her wand and cast Reparo—and the glass pulled itself back together in her hand. The salt, however, was still everywhere.

"Lily—"

"I said I'm fine, Sirius! How many times do I have to say it for you to believe me?"

"Lily, you're bleeding! You can't—"

"No, I'm not! I'm f—" Before she could protest again, Sirius Silencio-ed her, grabbed her hand—which was, actually, bleeding—wrapped it in a handkerchief, and led her back to the couch. He left her there, and with a few spells, cleaned up the salt, banished the flour monstrosity mixture, and returned with the firewhisky. He sat next to her.

Lily took a deep breath, and mindlessly cast the countercharm.

"Sorry. I guess I was a bit...surprised. It was a shock. But thank you. How long have you known?"

"Just yesterday. I literally just found out by the bleeding paper."

"Why didn't James tell you himself?" It was the first time in two years she said his name aloud. It left a bittersweet taste in her mouth. Sirius barked out another hard laugh.

"I haven't spoken to James in a year and a half. One day he got in contact with me and explained that letters were unsafe, apparition was impossible with all the wards around him, the floo network in France was being watched, and said to only use the mirror if there was a great emergency. If getting engaged isn't an emergency. I just, I don't know what's going on with him. I don't know if he's going to come back. I don't know what else he isn't telling me. I don't know."

They sat silently for a while, both of them thinking. Lily hadn't known that Sirius had been out of contact with James. That was possibly the strangest, and most concerning thing in all of this madness. So he got engaged. That she could understand. But, not to talk to Sirius in a year and a half! In all the years that Lily had known James Potter, friends and family always came first. He'd break any rule, face the threat of Azkaban, sacrifice sleep, food, anything for them. It was something she always admired about him. Even when she thought he was a miserable toerag. Could he be under the Imperius Curse?

She summoned the firewhisky bottles that Sirius had brought on the table, opened one, and passed it to Sirius. He smiled at her gratefully. Lily opened one for herself.

Sirius smiled grimly at her, popped the top off the other firewhiskey, and raised it in her direction. "Cheers Lil."