A/N
Happy weekend everyone, I just wanted to take a second to thank you all for sticking with this story, i know the first few chapters werent the easiest to read but i appreciate all the reviews and pm's about this fic.
Here is some Calzona time for everyone, Callie's in a bit of a state as you can imagine so its going to take some time for her to be open to another relationship but if anyone can convince her its Arizona right?
Enjoy the chapter and as always please take a second to drop a quick review at the end. it means the world to me reading peoples reviews :)
AL xxx
-oOo-
3am. Arizona wakes up thirsty so takes a drink from her bedside table. She hears sobs from Callie and moves to her side and places a hand on her shoulder in silent support. The brunette tenses then relaxes when she sees its Arizona beside her and not anybody else. They are alone and knowing that its just the two of them gives Callie a sense of security and safety.
"You must… must hate me!" Callie sobs into the almost darkness.
"I could never hate you Cal, you know that… you're my girl" Arizona soothes, moving her hand to take Callie's softly in her own.
"I shut you off" Callie states as if she did it by choice, Arizona instantly notices and smiles sadly at her best friend.
"And you had your reasons. I wish you hadn't done it but I do understand why you had to. I knew you would come back one day, I just had to keep faith that you hadn't disappeared because you wanted nothing to do with me anymore and there was a much bigger picture that I wasn't aware of yet"
"He made me Arizona. He took my phone and destroyed it after our last video call he overheard our argument... He took my laptop and disconnected the home line. I only had an incoming pager which only he had the number for, I tried so many times to get a 911 outgoing page from it, but nothing… I was just… there was no way for me to call for help… I couldn't call you Arizona" Callie clutched onto the pale hand tighter as she implored for the blonde to understand that she hadn't wanted any of this.
"It's ok Calliope, I understand… you know I didn't stop trying to find you though, right? I called every single person we knew. Every time I was in town I searched for you but no one knew where you were and the flyers I handed out were pointless – nobody had seen you, you just disappeared overnight. I lodged a missing person on you and hounded them until eventually they ignored my calls. You were just gone Cal" Arizona said as fat tears rolled down her porcelain skin.
"Because I knew you would never choose to abandon me like that. You're my best friend Callie. For you to disappear on me meant something was very wrong. There was just nothing I could do to help you because I couldn't find you. When Jo called and said she had found you and what it looked like had happened to you… I was at Uni on my way to a lecture... I just ran out of the halls... drove to the airport... abandoned my car at the front doors in the drop off zone, which has probably now been repossessed now, and I practically screamed at the woman at check in until she booked me on the first flight here, she literally held a plane back for me and I got to go in one of those golf buggy things with security to get me to the gate faster. I promise you that I got here as quick as I possibly could" Arizona scoffed. If it hadn't been for such a sinister reason her little adventure would have been quite hysterical.
"I'm so sorry. I have caused you so much trouble"
"It's never enough trouble when it's concerning you. Its money for some flights, it's a car that's replaceable, its possibly a speeding or red light ticket, knowing me probably both! and what I've missed out on the last few days at Uni I will catch up on easily while I sit by your bed and keep an eye on you… its mainly revision for the finals anyway… no biggie you can even help me revise if you wanted to. And I can sit the exams here in California, I already checked before I fell asleep earlier and a friends going to ship my Torres Method Card's over so I can revise properly." Arizona soothed knowing the brunette was feeling nothing but pity for herself and the situation, rightly so.
" You should go back to Baltimore and finish Uni"
" No... its not up for discussion, if you don't want me around then I will respect that and give you some space but I'm staying put right here in California… at home… where I belong" Arizona was adamant on this fact, she wasn't letting Callie out of her sight again, not for a long time.
Callie nods sadly before asking "What about your internship?"
"Already sorted! I've been offered a position providing I ace my exams, which I will… I have a secret weapon remember The Torres Method Cards… once they are back in my possession I will be unstoppable" Arizona smiled softly.
"Where will you go when your internship starts?" Callie asked sadly, knowing this visit was short lived was causing her heart to ache and her stomach to twist.
"Probably in hiding from Dr. Bailey after the headache I've given her over the last few days. The chief offered me a spot here conditional only on passing regardless of my passing grade… I guess between my detective skills, my medical skills and my obvious charm over the short time he has known me, I made a really good impression on him" Arizona offered a cheeky wink to the brunette.
"Wait, you… your moving back home?" Callie instantly felt the weight on her lift a little.
"Hell yeah I am! You sound surprised... We made a deal remember? If med school didn't work out we would try again with our internship, we pinky promised on it and you know I take my pinky promises seriously!"
" I dropped out" Callie confided sadly.
"I know" The blonde smiled sadly but reassuringly
"How?" Callie asked confused completely.
"Jo told me... you shared some classes with her at Drew's remember? She called me when it was announced that you had dropped out due to personal reasons, then you didn't answer your mobile when she called you so she called me to ask me what the fuck was going on with you, it was only like two days after our argument so I had no idea what she was talking about, I had no idea what was going on for you..." Callie nodded silently at Arizona's explanation. "Did you drop out or did he make you drop out?"
" I didn't want to… I begged him not to make me but he locked me in the house. He had a friend that was watching me from across the street and all the doors and windows were barred or alarmed so he would be alerted if I even tried to get out. He made me call enrolment and tell them I wasn't coming back… he had a knife to my throat so I couldn't ask for help but I umm… I told them that I was really sick and they said I had a decade to pick up where I left off if I ever wanted to… he never heard that bit… I never told him"
" Oh Calliope! you are safe now and we will get you through this" Arizona promised, not daring to blink as she stared into dark brown orbs that were a ghost of what they used to be.
"its not your problem Arizona" Callie scoffed.
" it is. It is my problem because you are my best friend and your problems are my problems and we pinky swore on it when we were like ten, remember?… we will always help to fix each others problems no matter how big or small" Arizona swore and all Callie could do was nod her understanding. "If you want to talk about it with me, we can... or we can talk about something else if that's what you want... or we can even just sit here in silence…. Whatever you want Cal, your calling all the shots here sweetie"
" I can't talk. Not yet… just… just can you tell me everything. I want to know about your adventures, I want to know everything I have missed about your life all the good that you have seen and done, please"
"Are you sure?" Arizona asked nervously, unsure if its a good idea or if it will be like rubbing it in Callie's face what she missed out on.
"Yeah… please, I just need to hear some goodness! Please, just tell me everything and don't miss anything out, I want to know it all, I want to know everything that you got up too, all the girls you met, all the parties and fun and friends… everything, just… every little detail that you should have told me about anyway if you could" Callie begged.
"Ok then, what the pretty lady wants the pretty lady gets! So a little over three years ago I arrived at Hopkins. Lectures kicked my ass big style, a few times I almost thought about dropping out it was so hard, but I worked really hard and with the Torres Method, I aced every exam and test. Thank god for you and your ingenious study method and because of you I am currently head of the class in every course and sub course and am the record holder for Hopkins Med for the amount of tests, exams, assignments and practicals that I have the highest score for… and providing I pass my final boards I will be the best intern this hospital has ever seen no worries!"
"You will pass… don't forget, your awesome" Callie teased softly. Arizona was infamous for using the word awesome and she and Tim had spend endless amounts of time ribbing her about her over use of the word.
"I met a few girls over the years but nothing too serious, I didn't have time for serious only studying. Then last year I met Naomi… shit! I still haven't called Naomi! damn it!... " Arizona dashes for her phone and sent a message off before returning her attention to Callie. "Sorry about that sweetie, I'm going to be in the dog house big style for going MIA for almost four days! She will not be happy with me, anyway... umm what else? Oh parties! Lots and lots of parties, and drinking and you'll be proud to know I've finally succumbed to tequila, in fact its my go to drink now, reminds me of my crazy drunk-on-tequila Mexican friend so I tend to drink it more than anything else"
Callie laughs slightly " I haven't had a tequila for a very long time… since my wedding day actually! Fuck, this is so messed up! I'm not even twenty five and I'm a uni drop out who's married to a man who has just been arrested for domestic violence whilst I'm laid in a hospital bed after almost dying in the room he just almost strangled my best friend in, the best friend who I haven't spoken to in three years because I wrote her off because he told me I had to..."
" Hey... it is going to be ok! Its not too late to pick your life up and start again, your still young and smart and pretty and strong, you have so much going for you and you can do anything you want to do and if you want to go back to med school you will, when you are ready to! And if not then that's also ok and we will work it out together… just be patient and please be kind to yourself, you have a lot of healing to do first before you make all these life changing decisions and there is absolutely no rush to do anything, I'm here for you, your parents and Aria… my parents, even Timmo will be back eventually to support you… we can do this Cal, please trust and believe me when I say that." Arizona offered a supportive smile.
"I missed you" Callie whispered.
" I missed you too loco"
"That's a name I haven't heard for a very long time" Callie admits sadly and watches as Arizona glances at her mobile and smiles sadly before turning her attention back to her.
"Too long. But now I'm back and I will get to annoy you all the time again with my nicknames and my jokes and even my flirting when you are feeling up to being hit on by your hot best friend " Arizona offers a teasing smile and a playful wink.
" What about Naomi?" Callie asked seriously.
Arizona turns her phone to show Callie the txt she received which was – Az, I'm so glad u found her but I'm so sorry to hear that things r really bad for her! Look, I know this isn't a good time but we both know that ur not coming back, not now. Callie needs u, and u need to be there with her and that's ok too, we both knew this day was gonna come eventually, I'm just sorry that day is finally here and we didn't get to say goodbye properly. Just look after urself and look after ur girl. I will sort everything on this end and get some movers to ship ur things to ur parents house. Stay safe and find ur happiness Az, ur amazing and u deserve to be happy. U know where I am if you need anything Nxxx " Isn't in the picture anymore. I don't do long distance relationships remember and she's great, and I have no doubt we will stay in touch and our paths will cross again… but it never really felt like it was gonna last forever, y'know, she was wonderful, she's just not the one" Arizona admitted sadly.
" Yeah, I understand" Callie said instantly thinking to the situation she found herself in.
"Hey… its over. The worst part is done and now we focus on what's next ok? Baby steps sweetie"
"Do you think… would you mind… doesn't matter! No, never mind!" Callie stuttered around her nerves.
"What is it loco, tell me please?" Arizona asked in a strong voice wanting the brunette to know it was ok to ask for whatever it was she needed.
"Don't worry about it, its nothing battleship" Callie said hoping the use of their childhood nickname would pacify the blonde.
"I will always worry about it, when the it is you" Arizona reiterated her words carefully.
Callie sighs deeply, centring herself before asking "I was going to ask if you think you'd be able to squeeze in the bed with me I really need a hug and although the thought of anyone touching me anywhere and in anyway completely petrifies me… I just…"
"Need a hug from your bestie? Come on shuffle over and make some room for the little spoon " Arizona smiled referring to the many sleep overs where they had woken up spooning, Callie always being the big spoon.
" You are never going to let me forget that are you?" Callie asks almost playfully.
"what waking up with you playing with my boobs? Absolutely not! Its the single best wake up I've ever had and trust me I've had some pretty great wake ups over the last few years, wake ups that would bring out the infamous Torres blush" Arizona winks playfully.
after both are settled and Arizona is on her side snuggled into Callie's body, holding her hand softly so Callie can break the contact whenever she wants
"I'm pregnant" Callie stated out of the blue, her voice barely above a whisper and full of anxiety and sadness.
"I know. I was um… I was hidden behind the curtain in the room the whole time while you were having your g-y-n appointment. Addie…. Dr. Montgomery, chewed my ass about stinking the place up because I hadn't bathed for days and I tore her a new one about how my only concern was you and you alone, and not my hygiene. She made me take a shower so that she would let me sit in so I could 'see' you and hear you for myself to know you were ok and safe. I think because of my little melt down she realized I was teetering on the edge of a full psychotic break down and wanted to just help" Arizona admitted with a half laugh at the situation.
"You were there… like in the room with me?" Callie asked in amazement.
"Yeah... I'm sorry for invading your privacy like that, I just didn't know what else to do and I was so worried and scared for you and I just… I just needed to know for myself that you were ok, not because someone had told me yet again that they had seen you and you were fine, I needed to know for myself… I needed to see you, to hear you, to smell that unique smell that is you only… "
"There was a vase of fresh daisy's on her desk" Callie said with questioning in her voice after a few moments.
"I couldn't bring you get well flowers so I got an intern to bring some to me and I put them on her desk hoping you would see them and know I was somewhere near, or to just notice them and feel some comfort or safety or whatever… I just wanted to help in someway even if it was an insignificant way, I needed to do something to help" Arizona admitted shyly.
" I looked at those daisy's almost the entire time… like I barely took my eyes off them, I couldn't stop thinking about how bizarre it was that all I wanted and needed was for you to be stood next to me and holding my hand, and that was never going to be possible!... but yet there in front of me were my favourite flower, which only you, Aria, Mami and Papi, Barb and Dan or Timmo ever give to me, it felt as if they were put there purely to comfort me and only me and that was the sole purpose for their existence, does that make sense?" Callie offered with a sad smile.
" They were there only for you Cal. I'm glad they helped even if it was just a little. You know… that waiver you signed right before your tests started… I got Addie to record the entire session through her desktop and webcam in case anything you or he said could be used for evidence, just in case he slipped up I wanted to be able to have it there for you to use against him to protect yourself" Arizona admitted shyly.
"You did that for me?" Callie asked not at all mad.
"Yeah, I've had the Chief, Bailey, and practically the heads of pretty much every department apart from peds and derm running around like my own personal interns for the whole time I've been here. I reckon Chief Robbins will suit me quite well one day in the future"
"Definitely… the scrubs certainly suit you anyway!"
"Calliope, are you flirting with me less than half an hour after my girlfriend broke my heart?" Arizona teased.
"What no! of course not... I'm sorry! I didn't mean... I'm sorry! Please! I'm sorry!" Callie began freaking out.
"Hey... Stop! Just breath, come on I need you to calm down, I'm sorry that was probably the most tasteless joke considering the situation, I didn't think! You know you can always flirt with me, no one flirts like loco anyway… your kind of the best flirter there is, don't tell Tim I said that though, it will hurt his feelings to find out we lied to him about how awesome his lines are"
"I'm sorry I just… I… I panicked"
"What made you panic?"
"Cause I… its just… he… I…"
" Well as informative as that sentence was let me stop your ramble there before you use up all the words in the dictionary in one breath without actually forming a single sentence!" Arizona smiled cheekily" Cal I'm not going to hurt you. I'm not going to lay a finger on you in an aggressive, abusive, demeaning or bullying way. I can't promise I will never get mad with you at some point down the track. I cant promise I will never raise my voice in frustration or shout at you or even lose my temper with you but I will never, ever lay a finger on you… no matter how angry or upset you make me, no matter how much you may try and push me to get angrier, no matter how much you think you may deserve it… it will never happen, not from me! do you hear me Cal? Do you understand me?"
Callie nods but wont look at Arizona.
"Not a good enough response loco, I want you to look into my eyes and see the truth in my words for yourself, and even if you can't tell me that you believe me and my words, I want you to still see it with your own eyes that I'm being honest with you, I'm not lying to you and I'm not trying to deceive you… I will never hurt you and I will never lay a finger on you"
Callie looks into Arizona's eyes and bursts into tears.
"I'm gonna get a little closer to you so I can hug you properly, tell me if you want me to stop or want me to move further away, I promise I wont be upset... I'm just going to comfort you, I promise... comfort only" Arizona hugs Callie tighter and sighs as she feels the tension in Callie's body and the trembles from her anxiety at being hurt. "Your ok loco, I've got you now and your safe and I swear no one will touch you again in anyway you don't want them too, I promise sweetie. I've got you and I'm not letting go again"
"Morning ladies, what are you both doing awake so late?" Mark enters the room and offers Arizona a sad smile when he sees Callie breaking apart in her arms
"Just catching up on the old times. Thanks for earlier by the way Sloan" Arizona offers as she strokes Callie's hair soothingly.
"Trust me, it was my pleasure! I've wanted to wipe the smirk off that dickheads face for days! Now, how's my favourite patient… reckon you can take a few deep breaths and try and calm down a little so your stats are showing true figures for me. Bailey will have my ass if I give her anything but the readings she wants" Mark smiles softly at the brunette who nods and hides in Arizona's embrace from the male doctor. "That's really good Callie, they are coming down perfectly so just keep taking those deep breaths and doing what your doing... That's it great job, your doing fantastic!"
"All I'm doing is breathing " Callie whimpers into Arizona's shoulder pathetically.
"Sometimes just breathing is all you need to do, and that's ok Callie, in those moments its best to just breath" Mark soothes as he keeps half an eye on the stats and the other on the brunette.
"How's your hand?" Arizona asks to break the silence but also concerned about the guy who has helped so much since Callie was admitted as a patient.
"It'll heal. The Chief's a little pissed that I wrecked my surgical hand and put myself out of commission for a few days but hey, the nurses are hailing me a hero… I've been given six phone numbers already and its only been a few hours, wait until the shift change and the other nurses find out how much of a hero I am, I wont be hurting for a date for a while" Mark winks at Arizona cheekily.
"I see! And there was me thinking you were trying to save my ass but instead you were just trying to impress the ladies and hook up" Arizona teases.
"You didn't need me saving your ass. You weren't even trying to break free from him" Mark says pointedly
"What?" Callie asks in confusion.
"She wasn't even trying to defend herself… not in the slightest!" Mark accuses.
"Dr Sloan… not a good time" Arizona frowns.
"What does he mean Arizona?" Callie asks, leaning back slightly so she can see Arizona's face so that the blonde has nowhere to hide.
Arizona sighs deeply at the expressive brown eyes glancing at her questioningly "I was trying to trick a confession out of him, hence the recorder in my pocket. There's a security camera just outside your room and the plan was to get his confession on tape and the CCTV separately that's date and time stamped to verify it. But he wouldn't speak where people had a chance of seeing him, so I let him bring me in here thinking the camera would still catch him through the blinds but he closed them… we exchanged some words… then you guys came in just when he had decided that words weren't enough anymore. I'm sorry Cal"
"Sorry, wait why are you sorry?" Callie asks in a voice laced with confusion.
"All I could think about was… well… don't be mad ok? if I let him finish me off, then the cops that were going to be there any second and they would catch him literally red handed over my dead body. There's no way he could have talked himself out of that and he would have been arrested for my murder and would never step a foot out of prison, and therefore would never be allowed anywhere near you again even if he tried to. I had already left the stack of evidence with the Chief so I knew if anything went wrong he would pass it onto the cops for me and Earl would be exposed either way, it was just a case of trying to make it a solid case that he wouldn't get anywhere near you again" Arizona admitted sadly.
" Why would you do that Arizona? Why!… it was irresponsible and, and idiotic and… I'm sorry, I'm so so sorry" having realized she was speaking down to someone she freaked out.
"It was, you are absolutely right. I was stupid and irresponsible and anything could have happened to me… and it almost did. But I was thinking about keeping you safe not keeping me safe. I'm sorry that I upset you loco" Arizona apologised, not glancing away from the panicking Latina.
"Well that's your chart all updated Callie and everything seems to be fine, just keep working on keeping the stress and excitement to a bare minimum for now, I know its easier said than done but just try ok? I'm off now for the next day or so, but would you mind if I popped in tomorrow at some point just to say 'hi' though? Its ok if your not comfortable with it… I'd just like to check up on you for myself? Or I will do nothing but spend my downtime worrying about you" Callie nods nervously without making eye contact, Obviously scared of the male who was inserting himself into her life "Let me be clear here, and I know its just words to you and words wont build your trust, but actions do! I don't know you, either of you actually, but I feel a connection to you both and I don't really do connections with women, so its absolutely not that I'm trying to get in either of your pants… I just, for some reason I care, I don't know why... but I do and I would really like it if I could visit you as a friend, as well as one of the residents on your case, but I understand if your not ok with that just yet and you need more time, I will be patient and keep my distance and give you some space… but all I'm looking for is friendship… my only agenda is to help in some way... and to be around if you were to need me… my only aim here is to just simply be a friend and make sure your both ok and out of harms way… so would it be ok, for me to visit I mean?"
Callie looks at Arizona for reassurance and the blonde offers her a shrug before motioning towards Mark. Callie nods slightly to show Arizona that she's ok with it but doesn't want to verbalize it.
"Bring a box of fresh glazed donuts from krispy kreme and you have yourself a deal Dr Sloan" Arizona offered a dimpled smile.
"I can do that, anything else you ladies would like?" Mark smiled in return.
"Chocolate, always bring pretty ladies chocolate!" Arizona smirked.
"Ha! what am I, your personal shopper?" Mark grinned.
"Yep, if you wanna hang with the cool kids then you've got to bring gifts to make it worth our while too" Arizona winks at him playfully.
"Fine fresh glazed donuts and the best chocolates a man can find, it is then! You push a hard deal Ms. Robbins" Mark teased.
"A sudoku…" Callie whispered, unsure, scared.
"Sure thing Cal" Mark said surely as if it was the most natural request he had ever been given and wasn't a problem at all, something he knows she needs to hear a lot of at the moment "Fresh glazed donuts, The best chocolate a man can find and a sudoku book worthy of a queen! It will be early afternoon when I visit though, I need my beauty sleep before I start calling all of these numbers and setting up some hot dates. Good night ladies, stay safe and try and get some sleep and rest ok?"
"He seems like a nice guy" Arizona offered once they were alone again.
"So did Earl" Callie said darkly.
"True… but not everyone is Earl. Its ok to be cautious and wary of people Cal, but not every guy is an Earl… not every person is an Earl. I know its going to take time and everyone you meet is going to send alarm bells to you, but please don't let him take away ever meeting new people because your amazing and the world deserves to get to know this amazing person that I know" Arizona implores as she squeezes the hand still held encased within her own.
"Maybe, I'm just scared… God when did I get so fucking pathetic" Callie spat out.
" Your not pathetic Cal, your healing extremely fresh wounds so you need to give yourself some time" The blonde soothes.
"What do I do about the… the baby?" the word baby is strangled as if it physically pains her to say it
"What do you want to do about your baby?" Arizona is very careful to emphasize the word your and not use the word the baby like Callie had, she could understand why the brunette would want to distance herself from the fetus and all the possibilities that come along with it, but Arizona needed to be the voice of reason here.
"its his! " Callie hisses almost angrily
"No, its yours. He may be the sperm donor, but that is all he is, all he will ever be! this baby isn't his whether you keep it or not. Whether your referring to this baby in the past tense or referring to it in the present tense… no matter what happens this baby is yours! yours, not his and whatever you decide to do I will be right by your side for everything, whether that looks like an abortion or a surrogacy or a lot of dirty diapers and me being the best aunt a kid could get, ok? We will work this out!" Arizona soothes the Latina.
"What if I do keep it and every time I look at it I see him staring back at me?" Callie asks in fear.
"No way will that happen! For starters, if you were to keep your baby, I truly believe every time you look at him or her you would feel nothing but an overpowering sense of love and a need to protect this tiny little human that needs you and only you. Maybe the first few days it will be a little bit of a struggle, but we will make it through that and eventually you wont even remember who the sperm donor was, just that you had a happy and healthy tiny human to love. And secondly… with these Latina genes and this pretty face, there is no way it would look anything other than a hundred percent like you, that is one lucky kid!"
"You really think?"
"Yeah I really do think! But its your choice Callie and I will support you whatever you choose. You still have some time to decide though, I may be in possession of the hospitals wifi password on my phone so how about tomorrow we do a bit of research for you and you can read over it and let it help you make an informed decision. Maybe we could get Addie in too for a chat, she's actually pretty cool"
"Oh god you totally have a crush on my gyno, don't you!"
" What? I do not! I mean sure, she's an attractive woman but her hairs all red… you know I'm strictly a brunette girl, sorry to disappoint but there will be no match making with hot gyno doctors there Calliope"
Callie scoffs at Arizona's confidence with playful smirk and Arizona cant help but smile at the split second of the old Cal she could see behind the brunettes eyes even if her face was stoic and her mask was firmly in place, Callie couldn't hide anything in those eyes and Arizona knew that, she knew exactly where to look to find the truth of the brunettes feelings "Thank you for being here, I cant tell you how much it means to me that you are, even despite everything… even though the last time we spoke we argued… even though I shut you out for like three years…. Your still here" Callie said simply.
"Always sweetie. I'll always be here for you, no matter what!"
" I love you, y'know" Callie whispered, unsure, scared of someone hearing her and her being punished for the words she has said
"I do, cause I'm awesome, so how could you not love me? " Arizona whispers back playfully, knowing the exact reason that Callie whispered and wanting to sooth her
" This beds getting a little tight for space with your big head in it " Callie whispers and giggles softly.
"There's the loco I know and love! Welcome back chica and I love you too" Arizona grins.
The two women fall into silence and before long Callie is fast asleep in Arizona's arms. Checking her watch and seeing that its almost four thirty in the morning Arizona closes her eyes and allows Callie's soft breathing to lull her into a deep sleep.