Sitting in the cafeteria picking at her lasagne Callie was feeling all kinds of nervousness about the sheer amount of people surrounding her, if it wasn't for the blondes calming presence she likely would have bolted by now. But every time the urge to run became strong she would focus on Arizona and take some calming breaths like Dr Warner had taught her and so far it was working. At that moment someone sat down beside her making her flinch, she glanced to the offending person and found Mark Sloan, biting an apple before he smiled widely at her.

"Mark you really should announce yourself" Arizona admonished softly to her boss after seeing Callie's reaction to his presence.

"Sorry Callie, I didn't mean to make you jump" He offered sheepishly but relaxed when the Latina smiled his way. "How's all the appointments going?"

"Good, good. Look at what Addie gave me" Callie pulled a stack of pictures from her bag and passed them over to Mark who flicked through them with interest.

"Good looking kid. It's got your nose" Mark smiled as he handed back the photos before taking another bite of his apple.

"Do you really think?" Callie asked with a smile as she looked at the photos now in her own hands and scrunched her eyes as she focused on the grainy little nose.

"Sure I do, any kid that you make is going to be beautiful, your genes are really strong" Mark nodded his approval at his own words before turning his attention to the blonde who was sitting quietly letting Callie have a moment with their friend. "Robbins, what do you think, it's got Callie's nose right?"

"Absolutely. I bet it has your eyes too. Those beautiful eyes on a little baby are going to be killer" Arizona smiled warmly at her friend who was still squinting at the photo.

"So I heard you got signed off by every speciality and got referred to the physio... that must feel good" Mark asked.

"Yeah, I have an appointment with Dr Warner after we have had lunch and then I can finally leave this place. I don't know how you guys can spend so much time here" Callie sighed as she placed the photos back in her bag and began to tuck back into her lasagne.

"You get used to it, plus when you're not here as a patient its actually quite a fun place to be" Mark informed her.

"Especially when you get to sit in on cool surgeries" Arizona added, winking at her boss playfully who smirked at her in return.

"I've got a cleft palate repair on a five year old this afternoon, it's a shame you're not on duty Robbin's you would love this kid. She was brought in this morning because she had been throwing up and has half her top lip missing, I consulted with the chief about doing a transplant from that little boy that died two days ago in the car crash, you remember the case right?" Mark asked Arizona and she nodded sadly. She had been the one to announce his time of death, her first one. She doubted she would ever forget little Billy Maddison. "Anyway the chief gave the go ahead so today I am reconstructing a little girls face, and with the way I've been smashing my stitches lately there will be minimal scarring on her face."

"You're like a god" Arizona teased him lovingly.

"Did you know Arizona used to want to be in plastics?" Callie interrupted before Mark could make a reply.

"You... in plastics, well with your face and your body you would do well, but what made you change to Peds?" Mark asked with interest.

"When I volunteered at the children's hospital it stole my heart. Peds is hardcore, it's not doing little medicine on people it's doing big surgeries on little humans. One day you could be doing an appendectomy the next day an amputation, then the next day you could be working on a preemie and the day after that you could be working on a sixteen year old. In peds they believe in miracles and magic, they put fairy dust in the IV drips... it's just so..." Arizona trailed off thoughtfully but before she could resume her monologue Mark interrupted.

"Ok we get it, you're into Peds" Mark rolled his eyes playfully before his pager interrupted their conversation. "Well kids, I have to go scrub in... Arizona if you get bored while you're waiting for Callie to finish her appointment come by the gallery. I'm in OR four" Mark stood from the table and with one final smile he was gone.

"Hey we've gotta go or you'll be late for your appointment" Arizona said after glancing at her watch and seeing that it was five to one. They emptied their rubbish into the bin and began making their way towards the Psych ward where Callie's appointment was being held. Arizona opened the door for Callie to walk through and Callie couldn't help but smile at the chivalrous act, Earl would never have done something like hold a door open for her, no instead he would have slammed it in her face... it wouldn't have been the first time either.

Once the two women checked in at reception and found a seat Callie said softly "You don't have to wait here for me, go watch some of Mark's surgery and I will text you when I'm finished."

"Calliope I'm here with you today, I really don't mind just sitting and waiting here for you" Arizona smiled tenderly at the thoughtful suggestion.

"But why bother, you could be sat here waiting for me bored or you could be sitting watching a really cool surgery that might help you in your future as a doctor, I appreciate that you want to be here for me but really I can do this by myself, please go and watch Mark's surgery" Callie stated with more confidence than she felt.

"Ok... fine, you win. But I'm not leaving till Dr Warner comes to get you and I want you to message or call me the second your done with your session" Arizona compromised.

"Fine, deal" Callie smiled triumphantly.

"Don't forget to ask her about tonight too, it will be good for you to get out of the house for a little bit"

"Arizona, I have been out of the house all day" Callie scoffed softly.

"Yes, and stuck in this hospital instead... you know exactly what I mean" Arizona raised her eyebrows pointedly.

Their conversation was interrupted by Dr Warner's door opening and the woman in question smiling at the two women sat chatting comfortably in her waiting room.

"Callie, are you ready?" Dr Warner asked.

"Sure. Go enjoy your surgery and I will message you when I am done" Callie stood and made her way towards the office she had been in a few times since her release from hospital three weeks ago.

"You know where I am if you need me, I'll be just five minutes away, less if I run" Arizona called to her retreating back which caused the brunette to laugh softly.

"I will be fine, now go" Callie called over her shoulder before shutting the door in Arizona's face. The blonde walked quickly towards the operating room viewing galleries and entered number four and found a seat in the packed viewing dock, she had arrived just in time to see Mark making his first cut on the little girl's face.

-oOo-

"So Callie, how has the last week been?" Dr Warner asked the nervous looking brunette. This was the routine they had in place, although Callie was becoming more and more comfortable around the psychologist the first few minutes were always quite tense as the Latina worked through her anxiety about what was coming in each session.

"You know, same old. Nothing much has changed. I have been signed off all services apart from OBGYN and referred to a physiotherapist today though" Callie offered with a shrug as if it was no big deal.

"I read that in your notes. Congratulations. Now I saw that Dr Chang has specifically requested a female physio" Dr Warner trailed off to gauge Callie's reaction.

"That's good... I mean I would have coped if I had been placed with a male physio but I can't lie that I wouldn't be more comfortable with a female one" Callie admitted shyly.

"How are you going with the men in your life?" Dr Warner asked carefully.

"Well, I just had lunch with Mark Sloan so that's an improvement, right?"

"And how did it go?" Dr Warner asked with interest.

"It went ok. He sat down beside me and gave me a bit of a fright but I focussed on my breathing and the positive thoughts like you said and it calmed me down"

"And what positive thoughts were they, if you don't mind me asking"

"Just that Mark has never given me a reason to doubt his intentions. You know, I've heard the rumours about him being a man whore around the hospital... Arizona all but confirmed it with some of the stories she has told me... but to me, he has never been anything but a gentleman. He came to visit me while I was in hospital... even on his days off. He brought me little gifts to brighten my day and sudoku's and things to occupy my time. Since I left the hospital, he checks in with me every few days just to see how I'm doing. He's a good guy... at least I think he's a good guy, my judgement is pretty off when it comes to men though"

"I can't say I have much to do with Dr Sloan but like you I have heard about his reputation. Does it concern you that he might try something on with you?"

"No. He has made it perfectly clear that he is only interested in friendship and he has never once flirted with me or made me feel uncomfortable in that way... I think he's one of the good ones. He umm... well he invited me to go to Joe's bar with him and a few of the other doctors tonight. Arizona will be there too; I'm considering going but I wanted to see what you thought about it?"

"Do you feel ready to be in a social situation like that?"

"I don't think I will ever be ready but maybe I need to push the boundaries and do it anyway"

"What concerns you about going?"

"Well, I was concerned that I would be the only one not drinking but Arizona said if I went, she would drive and not drink. I'm also worried about being surrounded by so many people, especially men... and people I don't know"

"I think you will be surprised by how many people you do know there, by all means a lot of the doctors and nursing staff treat Joe's as a home away from home. I'm sure there will be a lot of faces there that you recognise"

"But what if all these people who I recognise, recognise me... they will be looking at me with pity in their eyes for poor little Callie"

"Or they will be looking at you with respect in their eyes for the strong survivor that is moving on with her life"

"Maybe"

"I think it would be good for you to try, but ultimately the choice is yours. I'm assuming Arizona won't mind leaving earlier if you're feeling too uncomfortable"

"She said it wouldn't be a problem"

"Well then, what have you got to lose?"

"My dignity, what if I have a panic attack in front of everyone"

"Most of the people there will be medical professionals. They won't think any less of you. And if anyone does have an opinion... so what, the only opinion that matters is your own"

"I guess"

"How are things with your mother and father... have you broached the topic of what you went through with them yet?" Dr Warner asked changing topic as time was moving on and they hadn't achieved much other than talking about going the bar.

"No" Callie offered and blushed with embarrassment. "It just never feels like the right time"

"Have you thought about writing it down in a letter, even if you don't give it to them it might help process some of the thoughts and feelings you have about Earl"

"I hate it when you say his name, I could quite happily never hear that name ever again in my life"

"And while I sympathise with that, like I have told you before it's not healthy. You will need to face him in the divorce hearing if there is one and you will most likely need to face him in the trial, you cannot hide from him, you need to face him head on... that's part of the reason we have these sessions, to prepare you to deal with him"

"I wish I could just hide and never see him again; he's going to be so angry with me"

"Let him be angry, he will be under guard and won't be able to get anywhere near you, but you have to face the possibility that you may have to face him in court"

"You're right. I just don't know how I'm going to do that when the mere sound of his name makes me want to cower and hide and never come back"

"What do you mean by never come back?"

"Just run and hide... I don't mean like, you know, kill myself or anything, just to disappear and start a fresh with people who don't know what I've been through, don't know what he did to me"

"You know that is always a possibility. You could always decide to go back to college and transfer out of Drew's. Go somewhere new with new people and new possibilities... it's not out of the question if that is something that you want?"

"It's not. I want to be near my parents and Arizona, it's just this fleeting feeling that I sometimes have but it always passes"

"Its fight or flight, your mind is trying to convince you that flight is the best option whereas what you're telling me is that you want to stay and fight these feelings and build a life for yourself here"

"I do want to build a life for myself. I think I'm going to go back to Drew's... make up the time with my medical studies and become a doctor like I always planned. I think that would be the ultimate way to get back at Earl" Callie grimaced as the name passed her lips. " He always told me that it was a pipe dream and I couldn't do it, maybe I need to do it not just to prove to myself that I can but to do it to prove him wrong.

"It would be a perfect way to reap revenge on him, by making something of your life but that doesn't need to be by being a doctor you could do it by becoming anything you want"

"Are you saying I shouldn't train to be a doctor?" Callie asked perplexed.

"Not at all, if that is what you want to do then I will of course support you with it but what I'm saying is that it doesn't have to be your only goal, there is no harm in having different goals now that your life has progressed, goals change as people grow and there is nothing wrong with changing your goals"

"I understand that but being a doctor was always the dream you know, growing up it was all I ever focussed on, being a doctor, a surgeon... helping people. How do I just give up that dream because it's not going to be easy, it was never going to be easy... now it's harder because I have all this baggage and I have a baby on the way, the timing is wrong and it feels like it's an impossible task... but still I want to be a doctor, I want to help people... I want to be what I always dreamed I'd be before all of this. I want to prove to myself that despite all the odds being against me I can still achieve my dreams"

"I think you have made your decision about Drew's" Dr Warner smiled softly.

"Yeah... I think I have" Callie smiled broadly for the first time in a long time.

"Well, that's us about done for the day... I will see you next week at the same time, I want you to seriously consider going tonight even if you just stay for fifteen minutes and as always, I want you to think about talking or writing a letter to your parents, it's an important part of the healing process"

"Ok... I will think about it?"

"Why do our sessions always end with you saying that?"

"I promise... I will think about it"