Chapter 7 What Did You Say?

Roy shook his head and blinked, unsure if he had heard that right. What? Celia was Bowser's child? That...that was….AWESOME! Sure, he had never heard of her before. Sure, Bowser had never mentioned her to him, or really any of the other Koopalings. Sure, last time he checked, Bowser had never actually had a girlfriend. Like….ever.

But still. Woah. Bowser had a secret child that no one had ever heard of before. This was really cool! In fact, this was cooler than cool! This was like something that people in sitcoms or soap operas had to deal with. It really was quite interesting.

"You're Bowser's daughter?" Roy asked, doing his best to not bubble over with excitement.

"Yes," Celia said. Roy didn't know if it was his imagination, but he could have sworn he detected relief in Celia's voice.

He smiled. "That's amazing! That really is so cool!" His nose wrinkled up as something occurred to him. "But wait, why didn't you tell me last night?"

Celia let out a breath. "I didn't think it would be the right time, considering that you and I had just meant."

Roy laughed. "Not the right time? Please. Celia, if you are Bowser's daughter, then you have every right to see him. In fact, I would have taken you back to the Castle right then and there if you told me!"

There was a pause before Celia spoke up. When she did, she sounded disappointed, as if she had just missed out on the greatest opportunity one could possibly have. "Oh. Okay."

Roy giggled. "Well, don't you worry, your highness. As the Princess of the Koopa Kingdom and rightful heir to the throne, I will be your horse in shining armor and rescue you from prison!"

"Uh, I think you mean knight in shining armor." When she spoke, Roy could practically see her smiling face. "But thank you very much! I really appreciate it."

With that, the call was cut off. Roy put the phone down on the bench as a new feeling overtook him. He wondered what Bowser would say to this. Surely, Bowser would be extra proud of him if he managed to bring his long lost daughter to him. Surely, he would pat Roy on the back and give him the biggest of compliments and the most awesome of praises. Roy felt his sense of self well up just thinking about that. He needed to hear something that was that uplifting, especially after the fiasco that had occurred with Judy.

With a grin on his face, Roy marched his way into the castle. A grin stretched across his face like the longest of rubber bands. He practically strutted past the Koopa troopa servants, waving at them as he did so. He could already hear the gratitude that Bowser would express towards him echoing in his ears.

'You are the absolute best, Roy! Thank you so much for rescuing my baby girl!'

Okay, Roy didn't know if that would be entirely accurate. After all, Celia wasn't exactly a baby. What would be the point of calling her a baby girl when she wasn't? That would be more than a little incorrect and a whole heaping ton of rude.

Either way, Roy knew that he had to get to the throne room. He picked up the pace, his long stride working wonders now. When he got to the throne room door, he burst through it.

"Bowser! Where are you?" He practically screamed at the top of his lungs. There was no answer, as the throne sat empty at the front of the room. Roy looked from side to side. "Bowser?"

"He went to a meeting with King Bob-omb in Bob-omb Battlefield," came a voice. Roy turned and saw that Iggy was standing in the door that he had literally just entered. "He won't be back for a while."

Roy's heart sank. Oh come on! Why did life have to be so difficult? All that Roy wanted was a heaping amount of praise from his adopted Dad. Was that so much to ask?

"Darn it," he muttered under his breath. "Darn it, darn it, darn it."

Iggy gave Roy a raised eyebrow. "Why are you so anxious to find him?"

Roy perked up upon hearing that question. He realized that if Bowser wasn't present to help him, then Iggy would be the next best choice. Sure, he was annoying as hell, but...actually, no, he was just annoying as hell.

"I just discovered something incredible!"

Iggy perked up. "Incredible, you say? Well, I am all about incredible information. What is it that you discovered, Roy?"

Roy smiled. "Prepare to have your mind blown, Iggster. I discovered…" He paused for dramatic effect, which caused Iggy to lean toward him with his mouth open. "That Bowser, king of the Koopas…." Iggy leaned in even closer to Roy, causing his smile to grow even bigger…."has a daughter!" Roy swept his arms out wide. "Ta da!"

There was silence in the room. Iggy blinked once, then twice, then a third time. All previous excitement on his face had been replaced by a heaping amount of confusion.

"What did you say?"

"Bowser has a daughter! Can you believe it?"

Iggy stared at Roy for a minute or two, the same baffled expression on his face. He put his hand to his forehead as he closed his eyes. "What? Bowser has a daughter?"

"I know! Is that incredible or what?"

Iggy opened his eyes. "How is that even possible? He's never even been with a woman!"

"That we know of," Roy said.

"Ever!" Iggy objected. "The only child he has is Bowser Jr, and that was thanks to the cloning process performed on the royal bloodline. Now you're saying that he has another child? No! It is literally impossible, Roy!"

Roy chuckled. "Oh, Iggy. Oh sweet, precious Iggy." He placed his hand on Iggy's shoulder. "You really aren't willing to stretch your imagination for this, are you?"

Iggy cast Roy a glare so heated that it could cause third degree sunburn. He batted Roy's hand away and crossed his arms. "Alright. You claim that Bowser has a daughter. Who in the Mushroom World is claiming this?"

Roy grinned. "A young lady who goes by the name of Celia Patch."

Iggy raised an eyebrow. "Celia Patch?"

"Yep! Celia Patch."

Iggy sniffed. "Well, then. Why don't we go look up her birth certificate information on my computer? I'm sure that will prove which one of us is right."

Roy chuckled. "Yes, it will. And it isn't going to be you."

…

Roy waited with bated breath as Iggy leaned in front of his computer. He clacked away on the keyboard, doing his best to find Celia's birth certificate. So far, he had checked every database in the Koopa Kingdom and had turned up empty handed.

"Huh," Iggy said after he checked one more database. "That's quite peculiar." He turned toward Roy. "It appears that this girl wasn't born in the Koopa Kingdom."

"Well, that makes sense," said Roy. "Given that she isn't a koopa."

Iggy blinked and stared at Roy. The expression on his face was one that one would only give the most stupid of morons.

"Wait. She isn't a koopa?"

"Nope! She's human!"

Iggy gawked at Roy, disbelief claiming his expression. The right hand side of his face began to twitch.

"Then...then...HOW IN THE WORLD COULD SHE BE BOWSER'S DAUGHTER?"

Roy opened his mouth to say something. His mind raced to form a counterargument, but none would come. In fact, the more he tried to, the more he realized how stupid he had been.

"I...I guess she can't be."

"Exactly!" Iggy shouted. "Really, Roy, try to use some common sense next time, alright?"

Roy's heart sank and his shoulders slumped. He really was stupid. Judy had been right after all. He shook his head and gripped his hand into a fist. Why? Why couldn't he do something smart just once?

Anyway, Iggy got up from his chair, muttering something under his breath. As he made his way toward the lab exit, Roy looked around the lab. His eyes fell on a paper on one of the lab tables. Immediately, an idea befell him. Perhaps, if he were to read it, that would prove to Iggy that he actually was smart, that he wasn't the stupidest koopa to ever walk the face of the planet.

"Wait, Iggy."

Iggy turned around in a huff. "What?"

Roy pointed to the paper. "What's that?"

"That? Oh, that's just my research on Koopa human procreation."

Roy took a step forward. He grabbed the paper off the table and started reading it to himself. He had to squint though, as Iggy's handwriting was pretty small.

The koopa human hybrid that our history recounts has a very interesting history of their own. Given how their mother was a Koopa, they hatched from an egg. I personally find this to be absolutely fascinating. Humans themselves, being of the Mammalian class, don't hatch from eggs, which means that this hybrid was born in a very distinct way.

The appearance of the hybrid was interesting as well. They lacked a shell, a tail, and for the most part, they appeared to be warm blooded, similar to a human. However, they did have some koopa traits they inherited from their Koopa mother. One of the biggest being their fiery red eyes.

Fiery red eyes, huh? Roy's mind immediately jumped to Bowser, as he had fiery red eyes. They were the kind of eyes that made his anger all the more terrifying.

Wait a minute. Didn't...didn't Celia have red eyes too?

"Iggy," Roy said. "Is it normal for humans to have red eyes?"

Iggy made his way down into the lab."Not in the slightest. Typically, humans have eye colors such as blue, brown, green, amber, or hazel."

Roy turned toward Iggy. "Then why is it that Celia Patch has red eyes?"

Iggy blinked. "Red eyes?"

"Yeah. She has red eyes."

Iggy took a step forward. "Are you certain about this?"

"Yes. I saw them myself last night." He pointed down toward the page. "I bring it up because this koopa human hybrid in your research had red eyes."

Iggy froze. He looked at Roy in interest. "Roy, say that one more time."

Roy turned toward Iggy in confusion. "The koopa human hybrid in your research had red eyes?"

Iggy's eyes grew as wide as saucers. "Roy! If Celia has red eyes, do you realize what that could mean?"

Roy racked his brain. He looked down at the paper in his hand. He thought back to the time he had encountered Celia the night before. He also remembered how Celia had said that Bowser was her father, despite appearing human for the most part.

Then, like two puzzle pieces, it fell into place. Roy's eyes grew wide.

"Iggy. You don't think that Celia is a hybrid, do you?"

Iggy began to shake, excitement claiming his expression. "Oh my goodness! That has to be it!" All of a sudden, he stopped shaking. "But wait, no no, it isn't possible. The last koopa human hybrid didn't survive past infancy!" He started shaking again. "Oh, but that would explain why she has red eyes. And if she really is a hybrid…" he leaned toward Roy. "Roy, we've gotta find her."

Roy smiled. "Well, that'll be easy. She did call me from jail just a few minutes ago." He placed his hand to his chin. "But how are we gonna bust her out?"

Iggy also took the time to think about this. Just as Roy was wondering if it was possible to get Bob-ombs involved with the plan, Iggy snapped his fingers.

"I've got it."