Annabelle's POV
When Carlisle and I stepped inside of the Cullens' house, it was immediately clear by the silence that there was no one in the house.
"Where is everyone?" I wondered.
"Most likely Alice told everyone to stay away," Carlisle replied.
"Why -? Oh." I bit my lower lip, and my gaze slid to the floor, embarrassed.
Feeling the strange tension that I was feeling, Carlisle cautiously looked at me. He took a deep breath. Then, calling my name softly, he attempted a smile. "Annabelle...?"
I looked up at him curiously. Carlisle was suddenly much more vulnerable, and no longer the calm and assured doctor that I had so gotten used to. Strangely enough, seeing his hesitance made me feel braver, because I realized that when it came to our being together, we were both equally new at this.
A small smile played at my lips as I said reminiscently, "A bath might help. Don't you think?"
Carlisle laughed lightly, instantly realizing that I was referring to the first time I'd stepped inside this house, and he'd asked me if a bath would help.
"Yes," he replied. "That sounds like exactly what we need."
We walked up to the large guest bathroom on the second floor.
"I'll bring you a towel," Carlisle offered, always the perfect gentleman. "One moment."
Since my clothes were already soaked through with the rain, I simply slipped into the bath tub still fully dressed. After turning the faucet on, I curled up in the bath, hugging my knees to my chest. Warm water ran, splashing slightly against the beautiful tile of the bathtub. I stared at the bright splashing water, feeling both hopeful and afraid of what might happen now. I felt slightly disorientated, almost dizzy with happiness, because I'd spent forever telling myself that I shouldn't expect anything with Carlisle. Unbelievably, he's accepted my feelings. Who would have ever thought that such a thing would happen? Such a perfect, lovely thing... But, well, where do we go from here?
"Annabelle?" Carlisle peeked into the bathroom. When he saw me clothed, he walked in and put the towel down on the counter. "You didn't answer when I knocked."
"Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't hear you," I replied honestly.
Carlisle gave me a funny smile, realizing that since there was physically no way I would have missed the sound, I must be very deep in thought. Crouching down beside the tub, Carlisle reached over to turn off the faucet. I'd forgotten the water was still running. The tub was nearly completely full.
"Are you all right, Annabelle?" Carlisle asked me, with light concern etched into his expression.
I nodded.
Oh, Carlisle, I thought in my head. I'm far, far better than all right. Don't you know that?
When he remained skeptical of my assurance, I smiled and told him, "Really, I'm all right. Just enjoying the warm water. That's all."
My hand dropped into the water and I slowly drew circles in the bath water.
Carlisle watched my fingers move gracefully through the water for a moment. Then, a bit abruptly, he remarked, "I should give you space."
He started to rise, but I reached out and grasped his wrist. "Wait, please," I murmured.
He slowly sat back down.
"You're still soaked from the rain," I noticed, gripping the wet fabric on his shoulder.
"Yes," he agreed softly.
"Well, then... Perhaps you should join me in the water," I suggested. I avoided his eyes as I felt quite embarrassed suggesting such a thing. But I knew that I had to learn to be comfortable with vulnerability, even if it did make me feel terribly awkward in the moment.
"That's all right," Carlisle refused quickly, reading the grimace on my face and mistaking it for discomfort with him. "I wouldn't want to make you feel uncomfortable."
"No, no," I countered quickly, erasing the grimace from my expression and looking up at Carlisle with bright and hopeful eyes. "What's uncomfortable is that I'm leaving you in soaking wet clothes and sitting on your own tile floor."
Carlisle hesitated. His eyes were clouded with restraint.
I paused. "Unless you'd rather we part for now?"
"Well," he replied quietly, "no..."
I suddenly moved to the very corner of the bath tub, hugging my legs tighter to myself. It could not be plainer that I wanted him here with me.
"All right," Carlisle gave in, amused at the way I was curling up to convince him to join me.
He slowly slipped into the water, careful not to make the water slosh too much. Then, I watched as he attempted to occupy the other corner of the bath tub as best as he could, even though the corner was clearly too small for his broad shoulders.
I smiled at his predicament. The genius doctor couldn't figure out what to do with his own shoulders.
"You can occupy the middle," I suggested.
"I may have to," he said thoughtfully. "I'm sorry, Annabelle."
"Don't apologize. After all, I offered," I reminded him.
"Yes," he agreed. "Yes, you did. Then -" He moved from the corner of the tub to resting his back against the middle of the tub, just besides the faucet. He stretched out his legs and crossed them.
We were now sitting on either ends of the bathtub, except that I was angled diagonally and all curled up.
"You should take up more room, Annabelle," Carlisle said to me. "I feel rather bad that I've taken up so much of the bath. Why don't you stretch out your legs, at least?"
Extending my legs, I glanced over at Carlisle as I rested my legs on top of his. He didn't give any indication that he was bothered.
"This is better," Carlisle said. He sighed in relaxation and leaning back, he closed his eyes.
As I watched him, I realized, He really is just... a man. My heart softened at the realization, for I found that I appreciated Carlisle all the more in seeing him for who he was when he wasn't the upstanding doctor or father figure, when he was just himself, complete with his vulnerabilities and doubts, like the rest of us. The softness that I was finally seeing in him aligned so well with the gentleness I'd always sensed deep within him, and I'd seen glimpses of it before in his sadness. To see it now in his happiness brought me a deep sense of peace.
But it made me wonder if there were other times where Carlisle might have appeared collected before me, when actually he was wavering internally. Well, there is one event in particular that I would like to ask him about.
After a minute, I called out, "Carlisle?"
"Mm?"
I wonder if it's bad territory, though, I thought suddenly. Besides, it shouldn't matter anymore. We're together, aren't we? So, the answer is moot. It could be insulting to ask him this now, after everything.
Still, I pushed back against myself, I've always wondered this. I have to know. In fact, in a deeper sense, I've put this off for far too long… And besides, if it doesn't matter anymore, then I know that whatever the answer is, I can take it now. So, for curiosity's sake and to understand better what Carlisle was thinking all this time, I should ask.
Even with his eyes closed, he sensed my hesitation. "Annabelle," he reminded me gently, "you can ask me anything. You shouldn't have to hesitate. I'll always answer honestly."
That's what I'm afraid of: your honest answer.
Be brave, I told myself sternly. There's no room in your life for fear anymore. You have so much future, all bright and shivering with possibility - why be afraid of the past? Rather, you should seek to understand it, and then move on.
My lips parted, and the question that had haunted me for so long rose to my lips: "Have you ever regretted creating me?"
Carlisle's eyes flashed open. Before I could even blink, he was suddenly sitting up, tense. At his sudden movement, the water sloshed over the edge of the tub.
I held my breath. Have I hit upon some guilty truth?
"What?" Carlisle said, in a hushed voice, as though he could not believe his ears. His eyes seemed tortured, flashing bright gold.
"Oh..." I said, surprised at how intensely he was reacting. "It doesn't matter anymore, Carlisle. You've more than proven to me that you don't feel that way anymore. It was only a matter of curiosity. I'm sorry. I didn't mean to offend -"
"No, Annabelle. What... What did you say?" he asked me again, speaking as fiercely as I'd ever heard him speak.
"I asked... if you regretted creating me..." My voice slipped into a mumble and I looked away before I finished speaking.
After hearing my question for a second time, Carlisle leaned forward and reached for me. His hands gripped my wrists and he pulled me towards him. He uncrossed his legs to make room for me. Keeping one leg flat and extended out, and the other leg bent so that his knee jutted out of the water, he shifted slightly so that he pull me in tight against him. Inexplicably and all at once, I found myself in very close proximity to him. Sitting between his legs with his chest directly in front of me and his shoulders, which were wider than my own body, I looked up at him, blinking in surprise as I suddenly felt surrounded by his physicality.
"Carlisle?" I murmured. Our eyes met. I felt my wavering gaze betray the nervousness in my heart.
"Did you ever, for even a second, believe that I regretted creating you?" Carlisle asked me. To my surprise, his whisper sounded so pained.
"All this time," I answered honestly.
"No..." he whispered emphatically. Sliding his arms around me, he hugged me tightly, tucking me into his chest. As he squeezed me in his embrace, I felt his cheek press against my hair. "I never regretted creating you. Never."
"Rather, from the very beginning, I was afraid that I would stand in your way," Carlisle confessed to me. "Annabelle, I know you've made your feelings clear to me, and so long as that holds true, so long as you allow me into your life, I'll gladly be with you through all our days. But, you must realize that you are young and bright, overflowing with dreams. I am no longer young as a vampire, and lately, as you saw in Volterra, I've been repenting for many of my mistakes."
"I was afraid that you would have to feel the burden of guilt and responsibility that I struggle to shoulder, merely because of your connection to me." Carlisle raised his hand to touch my cheek gently. "You are, after all, the woman who grandly announced that she would live her next life as a complete heathen," he said affectionately, if not a little sorrowfully. "Your brilliant spirit, your incredible dreams... I only wished not to get in your way."
I stared up at him in wonder. He felt all this from the very beginning? Not just recently? Did he... Did he fall in love with me when I fell in love with him? Could it be?
"After all," Carlisle continued softly, "why would you attach yourself to me when there are others out there, more kindred to your spirit, who would gladly spend all their days with you? Why would you ever give your heart to me? That's what I've been thinking this entire time, Annabelle. You were in my heart from the very beginning, but I felt I had no right to ask for yours."
My heart was going to burst with happiness. All of the doubts that I had held in my heart for so long were finally beginning to disintegrate, like winter's frost making way for a newfound spring. Except-
"But you left," I said, and though I sounded puzzled, there was not even the barest hint of accusation in my voice, because the point was not to accuse him, but to reveal my thoughts and to ask for deeper understanding of his. "At the beginning, when we were together in the cave, you left to return to your family and you asked me not to come with you."
Carlisle's eyes saddened. "Yes, I left. I left because I couldn't think of any other way to protect you. I knew it was still a risk, but I chose the uncertainty of peace over a definite battlefield. At least, I thought that's what I was doing. And if the Volturi found you, I hoped your lack of knowledge would shield you."
He smiled a bit wryly as he remarked, "The shield didn't last very long, though, did it?"
"No," I agreed. "We have Alistair to thank for that. And my own foolhardiness in going after you."
Carlisle laughed, his eyes crinkling ever so slightly.
Figuratively, my heart thumped loudly in my chest. For this was the expression I wanted Carlisle to have, always. I wanted to tell him that, but the words rising to my lips got caught up with my feelings, and before I realized what I was doing, I found myself leaning closer to him.
I paused. So did he. Both of us were suddenly holding our breaths. I bit my lower lip, unsure if what I was doing was all right. Carlisle didn't move, letting me control the moment.
I could embrace him and pass over this, I thought. We've held each other plenty of times.
But when my eyes fell on his lips, the strange, yet beautiful, feeling rose in me again, like a phoenix trying to rise from the ashes of my dead heart.
No, I don't want to pass over this moment, I decided. I want to make it count. I want to make every moment count with Carlisle, if he'll have me.
I had to lift myself slightly for my lips to reach Carlisle's, so I gripped the front of his shirt to balance myself as I shifted forward, my face drawing closer to his. I saw his eyes fall to my lips then, and he knew what my intention was. There was no going back now. I could feel Carlisle's sweet, cool breath on my lips. I closed my eyes. Gently and slowly, but fervently nonetheless, I pressed my lips against his. I felt and heard Carlisle breathe in, quickly. Then, his hands found and gripped the back of my shirt tightly. He leaned forward into the kiss, inadvertently pushing me back slightly. My hands naturally opened and flattened against him, and through my palms, I could feel his warm and muscular chest through his wet clothing.
Our lips moved together - first softly, then passionately, as all of the pent-up want we'd had for each other was finally translating into physical touch, as we experienced one another's taste and warmth, at long last. Carlisle's hands gradually relaxed against my back and slowly and sensually travelled the flat of my back before gently grasping onto my hips. He lifted me easily to sit me on his lap. A fair amount of water sloshed out, but both of our minds categorized it as a "deal with later" rather than a "deal with now" thing.
Wanting him even closer, my hands slid into Carlisle's hair and my fingers tangled with his soft blonde locks. Carlisle, sensing my desire to be closer to him, wrapped his arms around my waist, pressing me to him, as we continued to kiss each other deeply.
When our lips finally parted, I kept my eyes tightly shut as I tried very hard to fully capture the sensation of his lips whispering love to mine and his hands on my body. I wanted to remember it forever. But I didn't have any time to focus, because Carlisle was now kissing his way down my neck, pressing his mouth sweetly against each and every scar, which he had created to save me. My breathing hitched, and my mind spun gently, in the most pleasant way...
"Annabelle."
My eyes fluttered open when I heard Carlisle murmur my name. I felt his fingertips graze my cheek lightly before brushing back a strand of my hair. He was looking at me lovingly, his golden eyes full of warmth and glowing with happiness.
"Yes? Carlisle?" I asked him, still a little breathless.
For some reason, my response made him smile. I didn't know it, but Carlisle was thinking, The way she says my name is so endearing. It always has been. But he kept that secret to himself, to savor and cherish within his own heart.
Instead, he said, "Back when I first met you in London, when you were still human, you told me that you thought the soul was a medium for connecting with other people. You confessed that since you were born without connections, you believed that you could never be a good doctor because you were inherently incapable of caring for someone enough to heal them."
"You remember all that?" I asked, awed and a little embarrassed.
"Of course," he replied. "But I hope that memory changes for you now."
"Changes for me?" I repeated, confused.
"Yes," Carlisle murmured. "I hope that every time my hands touch you, you remember that you healed me when nobody else could."
I smiled at his words, feeling a beautiful warmth blossoming deep inside of me. Reaching down, I lifted both of Carlisle's hands to my lips and I kissed all of his fingers before pressing my lips against his palm.
Watching me kiss his fingers, Carlisle confessed, "I've never believed that vampires have souls. But if I believe your theory, which I do, then… Perhaps it's time for me to consider a new possibility…"
He paused, thinking of what Edward had told him about what Annabelle was to him: "It's about... opening yourself up to possibility again."
He was right, Carlisle thought. That is what Annabelle inspires in me: possibility. If Annabelle believes I have, in any way, given her a new life, I hope she realizes that she did the same for me.
My face was still pressed lightly against his hand as I nuzzled my cheek against his palm.
Then, at that moment, we heard the front door open.
"Oh God," I blurted out as I drew away, suddenly mortified.
Carlisle laughed lightly. "It's just our family."
Our family…? I looked at him with the question in my eyes, though I didn't say the words out loud.
But Carlisle knew, somehow, what I was asking. He reassured me, "Don't be nervous, Annabelle. They all think the world of you, I can promise you that. They misunderstood you before, and I'm sorry for that. So are they. But, if you can find the grace to forgive our overreacting to the Volturi, then I know that everyone would love to meet you - truly meet you. Would you be open to that?"
Carlisle waited for me to answer, with nothing but patience and grace in his eyes.
"Of course, Carlisle," I answered honestly. "I want to get to know them better, too."
Smiling, Carlisle leaned forward and gave me another quick kiss before we finally disengaged to actually shower and dress.
I never thought I would be a shy person, especially given all that I had already gone through with the Cullens. The Cullens had nearly seen me die, and they were all well aware of my feelings for Carlisle. So, I shouldn't have been embarrassed at my finally appearing before them with Carlisle. But I was. Part of it was the embarrassment of openly being together with Carlisle, for he was holding my hand in his as we made our way down the stairs. The other part of it was simply my apprehension at this idea of "family," for I'd never had one before.
Give yourself time, I reminded myself. Miraculously, you have time now. Don't be so nervous. Just let life come to you, Annabelle.
It was tough to swallow down every instinct I had, for I had always been frantically chasing in my life, even as human - trying to beat the system to go to college, and then trying to beat the clock to become a doctor, and finally, trying to beat my own fragile sense of mortality before dying... Truth be told, I felt very impatient with myself. You have everything you can want. Stop rushing. Stop being so conscious of needing to be wanted and liked. Just let it all go. You have to be strong and independent. That's the only way to be truly happy. I knew all this, and yet, my heart was just so full of hope that it did often bleed into anxiety. I knew that I would have to find that balance between discipline and grace to slowly change my habits and to control my own emotions to become a more mature person.
I took a deep breath. All right. Slowly.
Carlisle, not quite knowing what was going on in my head, but feeling the tension in my fingers, squeezed my hand gently in his. I gave him a shy smile.
Reaching the dining table where everyone had gathered (since Renesmee ate regular human food, "dinnertime" had become a bit of a ritual for the Cullens where everyone sat together and simply talked), Carlisle and I greeted everyone. Seeing Alice's, Edward's, and Jasper's knowing smiles, I quickly became embarrassed. The feeling heightened considerably when we all realized that there was one chair short at the table. I started to get up to go find and bring back a chair from another room, but Carlisle simply pulled me into his lap as though it was the most natural thing to do. I attempted to pretend like I was fine with it, but when Emmett waggled his eyebrow at me, I ended up trying to hide my face behind my hair for most of the evening. Of course, Carlisle instantly knew something was off, even without being able to see my face, but he didn't press me at all until everyone else had left.
Eventually, everyone else left together to hunt, except for Edward, who had gone up with Renesmee to say good night. Now, Carlisle and I were the last ones at the table. I was still sitting on Carlisle's lap.
"Annabelle?" Carlisle called lightly.
"Hm?" I replied. I turned around to face him, but when I saw his puzzled expression, I knew he was going to ask me for an explanation. Not wanting to respond just yet, I quickly leaned forward and hid my face in his neck.
"What?" Carlisle asked me. "What is it?" He gently tried to push my shoulders back to look at my face. But I hooked my arms under his shoulders and stayed there, stubbornly staying close to him but hiding my face against his neck.
"Annabelle?" he said, confused.
My reply was to press soft kisses against his neck.
"I appreciate your kisses, but I can't kiss you this way," Carlisle told me, sounding both puzzled and a little frustrated.
I smiled and finally pulled back a little.
Carlisle was quick to cup my face in his hands and kiss me all over my face. His kisses were so light, it felt like butterfly wings fluttering gently against my cheeks and lips. I knew that Carlisle was humoring me, trying to make me feel relaxed and to avoid pressuring me into talking about why I had been so quiet that evening.
I'll get there, I knew, trusting myself. It'll just take a little bit of time. Carlisle has so many people that love him. It's lovely to see, but strange for me to realize. I'm not familiar with family dynamics at all, but I'll learn. I just need a bit of time.
After a moment, I requested, "Carlisle, would it be all right if I slept here tonight? My living quarters are a bit far away at the moment."
I felt exhausted, even though I hadn't really done anything except listen to others talk all evening. But the emotional waves of today made me feel drained, even though only wonderful things had happened to me today.
"Of course," he replied immediately. "Take the bed in my room again."
I hesitated. "Are you sure you're all right with me using that room?"
"Yes," he replied, without a bit of doubt in his voice.
"All right," I said. "Thank you."
"Are you not comfortable there?" Carlisle asked me, frowning.
"No, I am," I promised. I stood up, getting up from his lap. But before I left him for the night, I stopped and said to him, "Thank you, Carlisle. I could never have imagined that this is how today would turn out."
"Neither did I. It was too much to hope for," Carlisle said, looking up at me with wistful, glimmering eyes. "All I knew was that I couldn't let you leave again, not without saying good-bye. It never occurred to me that I could have the happiness of asking you to stay."
I gazed down at him, and my heart felt so full. I replied softly, "You know, I'm starting to be afraid that this is all a dream."
"Good night, Carlisle," I said tenderly. I started to turn away.
But Carlisle stood up and gently grasped my wrist. "Just a moment," he said softly. He stepped in front of me, and softly pushing me up against the wall, he kissed me one more time. He whispered to me, "So you know it's not a dream..."
"Silly," I told him, smiling, "the more kisses, the more dream-like it all becomes..."
"Oh," he said, surprised.
I laughed lightly. "Good night, Carlisle," I murmured again.
Then, I slipped away down the hallway and towards the bedroom.
Carlisle Cullen's POV
I gazed down the hallway that Annabelle had just disappeared into.
I was utterly ecstatic, floating on cloud nine. And I was sure that Annabelle was happy, too, for her eyes were shining so brightly. Yet... I felt a twinge of uncertainty nonetheless.
Am I doing something wrong? I wondered. Have I made Annabelle feel uncomfortable or unwelcome in any way? Why was she trying to hide her expression from me during and after dinner?
"No, you didn't do anything wrong."
I turned to see Edward standing behind me, having just come down from Renesmee's room.
"Edward," I greeted him.
"She's shy because you're her first love," Edward explained, walking towards him. "Besides that, you have a lot of family members, Carlisle. And we're all very protective of you."
I smiled in relief. "That's true," I admitted. "I'll have to keep that in mind."
"I wouldn't worry about her," Edward told me. "She's finding her balance just fine, it seems."
Edward paused. Then, he smiled.
"What is it?" I asked.
Edward conveyed, "She just fell asleep. And her dream... It's quite something. You should ask her about it when she wakes up."
Annabelle's POV
I woke up to find Carlisle lying on the bed with me. He'd pulled me into his arms, so that I was resting on top of his chest, but with his arms around me, Carlisle was also reading a book. He felt me move and looked down at me.
"Did you sleep well?" he asked me.
"Yes," I mumbled.
Carlisle laughed lightly. "Waking up from a dream?" he asked me knowingly.
I nodded, blinking awake.
"What was the dream?" Carlisle wondered. "If you don't mind sharing it with me, that is..."
"I was in a field of star flowers," I murmured. "Each flower grew with a slightly different shade of iridescent light. And there was a gorgeous moon overhead, but it was meshed with the sun. The ocean waves glimmered gold instead of silver, but the dawn was a pale grey-blue, all soft and like, opening as though it was a flower itself..."
"That sounds truly lovely."
"It was." My mind lingered on the vibrant image of the moon and the sun together. It was such a haunting image.
"Shall we hunt together?" Carlisle asked me, his voice breaking sweetly into my thoughts and pulling me out of my dreaming state. "Once you feel ready, that is."
"Yes," I replied. I sat up in bed, stretching a little out of habit, as my vampire body was always ready to go and never really needed to warm up or stretch. I found that I actually missed the little fluctuations of the human body - the sense of relief from little things like stretching had always brought me comfort. I was increasingly grateful that my "superpower," as Carlisle put it, was simply to sleep, even if it wasn't as incredible an ability as Alice's or as powerful an ability as Jane's... I shuddered at the thought of Jane.
Carlisle, feeling my light quiver, started to get up, intending to fetch me a robe to wear around my nightgown. However, before he could lift himself off the bed, I gently pushed him back down. He let me kiss him softly, then he looked down at me, knowing that I wanted to say something and patiently waiting for me to speak.
Finally, I said, "I started a job as a nurse when we were apart. After what happened with the Volturi" – I shuddered again, and Carlisle reached up and hugged me, his strong arms crossing my back to hold me safely against him – "and thinking that I'd never be with you, I realized I needed to start my life, on my own terms. I've left a message for my supervisor saying that there was an emergency, so there's no need for me to go racing back in a frenzy, but I do need to go back, and I rather think sooner would be better than later."
Carlisle's eyes were empathetic and understanding as I told him this.
"Is that who you called, before?" Carlisle asked me. "Your supervisor?"
I nodded.
"I see."
I sighed softly as I gazed at Carlisle. "I know it may seem selfish of me to part with you immediately after telling you my feelings, and asking you to be with me and all, but I am determined to become a doctor, no matter what it takes. I hope that it won't make me miss you too badly, but I still intend to give it my all."
"As you should," Carlisle said gently. "I'm very proud of you, Annabelle. I immediately guessed that you had started your medical career somehow when you helped me to diagnose and care for Shauna. You were very impressive."
I smiled at him, happy to see that my hard work was already paying off. However, there was a glint of sadness in my gaze as I thought of already having to leave Carlisle.
"Annabelle, do you want me to come with you?" Carlisle asked me. Quickly, he added, "I understand if you say no. I understand if this is a path you want to claim for yourself, without me. I won't be upset if that's the case."
I paused. "Wait…" I said, surprised. "You would come with me? You would do that for me?"
He smiled. "Yes, if you would like that."
"Very much," I whispered. "But what about your family?"
"We're not always all together like this," Carlisle told me. "We like to be near each other, but sometimes, we all need our space."
"We might be far away," I told him. "The job is in South America."
To my surprise, Carlisle said, "Perfect. Bella, Edward, and Renesmee will be headed there anyways. They need to go back to Chile."
"Chile?"
"Yes," Carlisle replied. "They met another human-vampire hybrid named Nahuel, who is the only living person alike to Renesmee that we know of. Renesmee learns a lot by being with him, you see, and I think they have a rather strong form of friendship."
"I see. And the others?"
Carlisle shook his head. "I'm not sure. But we all have our favorite places. Emmett and Rosalie are often in Alaska. Emmett likes sporting with the bears there. Alice and Jasper rely on Alice's visions to determine where to go next, so it's a bit harder to pin them down, but they stay in touch with us."
"I think Jasper might be happy to be away from me," I remarked. "When I think of the fact that he had to suffer through all of my emotions with me, I suddenly feel horribly guilty."
Carlisle gazed at me for a moment before he murmured, "Jasper told me that he felt your heart breaking when you left us in Italy…"
I dropped my eyes to Carlisle's chest. "Yes," I admitted. "It was difficult - painful, even - to leave you…"
"But," I continued softly, "in some ways, I'm glad I did. Because now, it's a choice to be with you. I know that my feelings for you aren't simply because you're my creator or because I also want to be a doctor… See, even if I had all those things on my own, even if I was fully independent and successful on my own, I still want to be with you. I know for certain now, with no doubt in my heart, that my feelings for you are for you and not for some conjured-up image of love or home in my head that I transposed onto you. But I think that I could only have known that by stepping away from you for a while."
I looked at him a little nervously, wondering if he might be offended by what I'd said, but his eyes were alight with admiration for me.
I blinked. I'd never seen him look at me that way before or at least, not so openly.
Carlisle raised himself up onto his elbows to kiss me. As we broke apart, though our lips were still grazing each other's cheeks, he murmured, "Thank God you chose to come back to me…"
In a more teasing voice that nonetheless had a tinge of seriousness, he sat up and held my face in his hands as he whispered, "Do you think you were the only one who was heartbroken when you left?" He kissed my cheek before saying, "We were living parallel lives of emotions, Annabelle. I suffered when you did, and I wanted you the way you wanted me. It took me some time to admit that, I acknowledge that. I didn't make it easy for you. But the feelings were there, and I can tell you that now."
Butterflies took off in my stomach when I heard his words. I wrapped my arms around him a little too excitedly and we fell back against the bed with a soft fwump sound. One of the pillows fell over our heads. Carlisle laughed lightly and batted it away. We lay like that for a little while, blissfully, with my arms around his neck and his arms around my waist, talking about this and that, and what we might do once we returned to South America. Sometimes, our sentences drifted off, incomplete, and dissolved into gentle kisses and touches, and that was absolutely fine by us... We could ask each other later what we'd meant to say. For now... Well, for now, it was enough to simply lay here together, and find happiness in the honesty of our feelings.