"Make units better with new technology. Make more of them. And make them cheaper."- Colonel James Ackerson
"What the Covenant called a Demon" The Commander replied calmly to his opponent.
The blue haired woman laughed for a moment "Hello Demon,..." she twirled her sword "...I am Tenryuu." she paused and assumed a fighting stance "and I have come to kill you all including that bitchy traitor!" She said pointing her finger that she meant Akagi and a very sadistic look on her face causing shivers to run down everyone's spine.
What the hell happened to you? Such a frightened thought went through Akagi's head.
The commander only calmly reloaded his rifle and said in a calming almost supernatural tone "Evacuate with Akagi, I'll take care of her."
The sailors quickly replied "Yes sir" and ran over to Akagi to take her to the ship's hospital.
"You're really stupid you know?" Said Tenryuu "Just armored up a meager sack of meat and already he can challenge me, Kanmunsu! Ha!" She said somewhat amused.
"Are you done Fucking?" Said the machine like Commander on then opened fire with his rifle without letting her answer. Tenryuu herself was surprised unpleasantly by the anti-tank missiles fired at her which penetrated and surprisingly wounded her.
"Now you've screwed me!" She said upset by this unexpected event and started running towards the Commander trying as she did after a while to hit him with her sword to no avail, completely forgetting about the cannons from her rigging.
Meanwhile the sailors were trying to lift Akagi without success, her crew seeing what they were trying to do jumped out and started shouting "(Disconnect her rigging from her! You won't lift her while she's carrying it!)"
The sailors looked at each other and raising their arms unhooked her quiver from her back and her floats from her sandals. Her bow was dropped when she was thrown into the air. The fairies, on the other hand, unhooked the rest of the superfluous items so that Akagi could be lifted onto her shoulder.
There was no other way, the stretcher was already occupied by wounded sailors and Akagi herself could not stand. When she was lifted up she suddenly coughed up blood. "Fuck, this is worse than I thought." Akagi said.
The sailor who picked her up asked her "How did she do this to you?"
Akagi coughed again "I don't know how, that shouldn't be possible with her!" She replied and then saw Tenryuu cut the Commander's rifle with a sword blow, who suddenly stood unnaturally fast again dodged and pulled out a large silver pistol to start firing fast again.
Each bullet was apparently quite powerful as the blue haired woman raised her empty hand to protect her eyes from the gun.
Akagi made a worried face, she doubted the man had a chance against Kanmunsu. Seeing the look on her face the sailor carrying her decided to comfort her
"Don't worry, Commander Pluta knows what he's doing! He has already defeated many such opponents. He once single-handedly took out an entire Siren base." Akagi looked at him in disbelief, which was quite a lot, but she didn't say anything. After which she grabbed her chest in pain and wailed slightly.
"Damn it, hold on!" Said a somewhat panicked sailor who rushed towards the hospital.
Meanwhile, the Commander dodged once again with incredible speed and reflexes from his opponent. "Stand still, you cursed sack!"
The Commander momentarily turned off the silver tinted visor of his helmet and made a very puzzled face as if he couldn't believe what he was hearing.
"Do as I tell you!" She shouted as well as swung her sword.
"You swing your sword like a flail, my lady." Said the Commander to her in Polish.
"What did you say?" Tenryuu asked.
And the last few sailors who heard what the Commander said snorted. She threw them an angry look making them run away quickly. As soon as she turned around suddenly something blue stuck to her forehead making a loud screeching sound.
"What the fuck is that!" She screamed angrily and forcefully unhooked the grenade from her forehead injuring herself.
The problem with that was that it was now glued to her hand. "Well it's falling..." The grenade exploded injuring her severely and causing her to scream in pain as her left arm and a good portion of her body was burned and melted at the same time.
Unfortunately her opponent did not let her rest even for a moment and definitely too fast and strong for a human he hit her in the head several times causing her to let go of her sword.
So more, the obvious confusion caused by the blow from the man in power armor caused her not to react as he grabbed her arm and broke it as if nothing had happened.
The sudden cry of pain was, as it turned out, heard throughout the ship.
Then, without further ado, he tore off her left horn and used it to cut off her port rigging turrets. Although the horns themselves were easily detachable, the force and carelessness of the Commander caused him to tear off part of her hair and severely injure her head. Then after cutting off the turrets he drove the horn deep into her turret on her back completely putting her rigging out of play.
He then put the gun to her head and before she had time to stop him pulled the trigger. The force of the bullet combined with the proximity of the barrel to her head and the damaged rigging that had stripped her of almost all her bullet resistance caused another wound to her head and an immediate stun.
After checking her with her armor systems. The commander radioed back "Target has been neutralized, what is the status bridge?"
After a moment Belfast spoke up "Commander, Sirens and Abyssals have just started their retreat, it's over we have won"
The commander smiled behind the viewfinder "Understood Sub-Lieutenant, enemy neutralized and have a medic and cell ready in the brig. We have a prisoner of war."
Belfast was silent for a moment "Understood Commander, I will relay orders."
The commander broke the comms and then looked at the knocked out woman "Well time, see what the fuckers have done to you Tern"
And the armor's medical system spoke clearly of very deep cybernetic modifications and a sizable implant in the brain. Not very cheery news in short.
Port 20 Fleet
Commander's Office
August 30, 1978
22:04
The irritated Commander tapped his pen on the top of his desk while listening to the damage report of Akagi and the captured Tenryuu. To say that they were in a catastrophic condition was like saying that Roon had a slight bloodlust or that a typical Porland had a slight fondness for her sister.
And don't forget the losses they suffered in the combined Polanian-American task force. Half of the ships are in such bad shape that they sailed to port on their word of honor.
And the Abyssal's strange aura on electronics causing them to be heavily damaged wherever they were didn't help in the search for survivors, only by some strange luck none of the KANSENs were killed in battle although health problems and not only of a physical nature were quite a surprise, except maybe for the Commander.
As for Kanmunsu, Akagi is in much worse condition than Tenryuu, which at first seems to defy logic, but the fracture of almost all his ribs and the shuffling of some of his internal organs and the puncturing of his lungs that Akagi has changes things. As the chief doctor on ORP Armageddon put it, it's probably only the Shipgirls' quirks that keep him alive.
Whatever, but it's obvious that a Kanmusu is more likely to hurt another Kanmusu than a human even if that human is a goddamn super soldier of the future.
"That's all Commander." Said Vestal calmly in conclusion.
After which she tilted her head seeing the look on her Commander's face "Are you pissed off Commander?"
The Commander stopped his tapping and looked at her. "Ves, how long have we known each other?" He asked her in a serious voice.
Seeing her friend's mood change she said "For about almost 15 years."
The commander raised his eyebrows "Well just about 15 years, so I guess you know me well enough to know when I'm screwed."
Then he held up a finger "And to complete the protocols, yes you have permission to speak freely. As if you ever need it" He added sarcastically.
Vestal snorted with laughter then pulled a chair over and sat in it. "I know Bartek, it's just that all this paperwork and other related silliness has consumed me too much lately"
The commander rolled his eyes at that. "Don't deny it! Not everyone can fill out these papers efficiently like you can without getting tired." Said Vestal accusingly and pointing a finger in his direction.
The commander giggled at the latter. Then he got serious "And you can't use the knowledge from the treatment..."
Vestal shook her head at that "Unfortunately she are different from these two."
The Commander sighed in disappointment "Fucking weird, how I hate that there isn't one fucking definition of Kanmunsu in the KANCOL worlds like there is with our dear KANSEN."
Vestal shrugged her shoulders "You yourself mentioned that this game of theirs was the first massive attempt to create Shipgirls in pop culture, no one predicted it would become so popular."
The Commander smiled "Well then they botched it by limiting themselves to Japan only that when Azur Lane came along it kicked them out of their position with ease. Oh, and I would forget a little ironic that this AL is darker than it looks at first glance."
Vestal nodded "Correct, or at least as far as our world is concerned." She then pondered for a moment "But as you mentioned there are also many very nice and fanservice versions of AL"
The commander nodded "Right, I forgot about that." Then he shook his head "Never mind that interdimensional Multiverse bullshit, that's my and my comrades' lot."
Vestal nodded "Right, it gives me a headache as I start to think about how we are both a mobile game and a self expanding world."
The commander looked at her crookedly "And what makes you so sure? Or are we just medium Fanfic characters to someone?"
Vestal raised her hands in a gesture of ignorance "Well, it's fiction to them, reality to us."
The commander nodded then pulled out wine and glasses from under his desk. "Well said Ves, until we have to drink it."
Vestal gave a wry look "You Polanians and your ICO? rule" The Commander giggled as he poured.
Then they both raised "Well cheers to both of us and everyone in the Port."
Vestal after tasting "Good, I haven't drunk one like this before, guess it's from your house?"
The Commander smiled "Oh howdy, straight from a total war ravaged Earth by a war with vicious aliens!"
Vestal squinted her eyes. "You're spinning something here Bartek."
The Commander's eyes widened "What me?"
Vestal nodded "Oh yes, the label says it's from Alpha Centauria as a new strain of wine from humanity's first off-solar colony."
The commander looked at the bottle "You well, indeed." After which they both looked at each other and laughed heartily.
After which Vestal asked "When will you tell Akagi the truth? We both know that you were already on an important mission in her universe before the Sirens kidnapped her here."
The commander furrowed his eyebrows "I will only do that after I make sure this whole situation doesn't happen again. You know how those Sirens are yourself."
Vestal nodded "So you want to solve this behind her back huh Bartek? That's kind of boring."
The Commander looked at her and pointed a finger at her "Boring maybe, for that she won't be trundling around under my feet and causing a little interdimensional brothel, though I'll have to get her involved sooner rather than later. These Kidnappings are pretty damn disturbing."
Vestal nodded, then glanced at the clock. "I have to go now, and turn in the paperwork, and keep an eye on my geniuses." The commander looked at her and asked, "Which ones?"
Just as she was about to answer the commander's phone rang with its inherent My Mother Told Me ringtone. Not wanting to disturb his conversation Vestal showed him two fingers letting the commander know what she meant. The commander nodded "Hello, what is it Miho?" He said into the phone.
Let it remain a curiosity that the door was open for almost their entire conversation and neither of them noticed. And when the phone rang they were quietly closed.
The Dark Zone of the Atlantic
Unknown Location
The Observer looked with satisfaction at the data obtained from the action. Abyssale and the controlled Kanmusu had proven to be very effective in combat due to their instincts and knowledge through the echoes of their crews. Of course it hurt that Tenryuu was defeated but that could be blamed on the fact that she had no experience in fighting humans. Or more precisely, with some strange futuristic super soldier.
She knew perfectly well that the Commander was not a native, but he hid that fact from the others, including her! The only thing she knows so far is that his weapons and armor are the property of some UNSC, but what has the UNSC to do with the armor of the future she has no idea, especially since the timeline where the Sirens first encountered this name was not in the area of interest of the Sirens because they were not their creators.
Of course they encountered the name from time to time but it was rarely more than a slogan and a place for irrational human bickering and usually Azur Lane was quick to bail them out of their role, at least where they concentrated on their activities.
Never mind, the important thing was that her new cannon fodder could effectively change the terms of the war and allow her to win the war! When she thought of this she began to laugh ominously. But her laughter was quickly interrupted by a thought that hit her like a hammer. Wasn't her goal to make humanity strong enough to defeat the ALIENS?
If anyone saw her at that moment, they would think that she had hung up and the smoke pouring from her ears gives the impression that her systems are severely overheated. Which is partially true because due to errors in her programming she started fighting herself.
One part of her said "Our goal is to strengthen humanity to face our true enemy, every experiment is for this purpose only, we are to avoid a situation where we win the war because it ends up exterminating humanity like our first attempt to help humanity."
But the other said "Our goal is to win the war against humanity and then lead it along the right path of development, the real enemy doesn't matter much, we have to save humanity from itself, and if it succumbs to extinction that's fine too because the prime directive of not letting humanity die out at the hands of ALIENS is fulfilled."
This argument, though in real time it lasted only a few minutes, in virtual space centuries passed before the system shut down with a loud screech to avoid melting the components.
Her eyes lost their luster and in addition her head suddenly drooped. After a brief moment her operating system turned back on, and the Observer herself as if noticing that she had just gone through a reset turned around and began to implement preparations for the next phase of the plan.
"Phase two was successful but it is recommended that standard human combat training be implemented for the captured Kanmunsu." She said to herself emotionlessly.
The panel she was operating on could be seen as the machines began to overlay the heads and limbs of the Kanmunsu who lay held unconscious by the closures on the beds. After a moment a message was displayed on the panel.
PLEASE SELECT A BATTLE SIMULATION
VERDUN
IWO JIMA
MIDWAY
TAMIZA
HAMBURG
Siren quickly began moving her hand searching for a certain simulation specifically created to fight the Commander. After a few minutes she managed to find what she was looking for.
LONE WOLF
Not knowing why, she felt that a simulation designed to train assassins for the Commander had to be called that and it would be the only thing that would fit. She shook her head at the sudden reminder and pressed the option with a small smile.
As she did so the trapped Kanmusu formed a simulation with a few dilapidated buildings of some scrap yard inland and all of it covered by a light fog. In the shipyard, thirteen bodies of a character modeled after the Commander could be found. The goal was simple, make the AI representing all the data collected about the Commander join the dead as the fourteenth person.
She didn't know why the Siren who designed this map created it this way but Observer didn't care. It is important that it is and works as intended.
Port 20 Fleet
Hospital
1 September 1978
10:00
"We come together on this tragic day to..." The voice of the Prime Minister of the Rzeczpospolita was interrupted when the TV channel was changed by Akagi.
"One the Pope, on Two was the Prime Minister, and on Three we have a history program about the start of the war or something else today? I know it's the anniversary of the outbreak of World War II in the Republic but it's a bit excessive for the first three channels to be exclusively about that." Said Akagi to herself in Japanese.
Flipping through the channels she finally gave up when the only alternatives were either boring movies or sports. Unfortunately, there weren't many channels, after all, the Hospital only has access to analog TV available for free to all citizens of the Rzeczpospolita. The hospital doesn't want to spend money on better TV, so the patients are trapped in these 10 channels for free.
Akagi, on the other hand, could at most go to the bathroom with the help of the staff if she wanted to kill boredom, every friend of hers had come to visit the day before and today they were very busy celebrating another anniversary of the outbreak of World War II. Unfortunately she had nothing to kill time with, no book or anything like that. And her access to the hold was taken from her when all the rigging was disconnected from her.
As a result, her fairies are cut off from her, though she knows the little ones will surely seek her out, though first they'll probably get the benefit of a lifetime when, for the first time in a long time, they have a trip ashore longer than a moment.
Not that she feels sorry for them, they need it, but still, it is a bit boring without them. Well, it's very boring that Akagi started counting sheep in her head hoping to go to sleep so that her day will go by faster. To make matters worse, she doesn't feel overly hungry, having only eaten a double breakfast this morning.
Further counting was interrupted by a knock on the door.
"Please come in!" Said Akagi curious to see what would happen.
After a moment the door opened and through it came a young adult female-Kitsune with a package in her hands.
"I am to deliver this to Akagi Amagi from the Commander." Said the vixen to cough lightly after a moment "Please don't worry, it's just the way I am, from childhood" She added quickly.
Akagi hearing this nodded her head and said "Good" Since childhood? After all I can see you are a KANSEN how the hell did you have a childhood?
She then took the package carefully, thankfully what she was wearing effectively held her body rigid so as not to endanger her organs or newly inserted ribs after surgery. Generally the medicine in this world surpassed her world by decades if not centuries.
When she first entered Mała Ameryka/Little America, as the small town on the US Navy base where only American sailors and their families live, she felt like she was on the set of a movie adaptation of that famous American post-apo RPG series the Enterprise once showed her.
A 50/60s style mixed with retrotechnology of the future with some contemporary elements like smart phones and retrofuturistic flat screen TVs. She was really surprised that this is what the local equivalent of America usually looks like. Later, out of curiosity, she looked through typical photos from each country and oh mother and daughter how different it looks!
No country looks alike, she could tell at a glance what country it was and she didn't even have to read the captions.
Germany looks like the fulfilled vision of the Nazis only without swastikas in every space. And without the genocidal tendencies. It's just that the locations were cut out alive just waiting for some American of Polish-Jewish descent to murder evil Germans called Nazis left and right. And that the capital is not in Berlin but in Dresden!
The United Kingdom is like someone threw steampunk, Victorian era, post-war England into a bowl and poured on the sauce of a futuristic metropolis like in the final mission of the Trilogy with Commander Shepard. And the fact that the original Kansen HMS Queen Elizabeth is a member of the royal family and the official face of the kingdom and monarchy.
And France is France? Doesn't know how to describe this strange mix of diesielpunk, gothic and modern all elegant as befits the French culture. And of course we should not forget about the ubiquitous churches. The Sirens' meddling in this world led, unbeknownst to them, to the fall of the Republic and the establishment of the Theocracy. As if the French were saying, You know what? Screw Democracy and Monarchy, We are ruled by a Primate!
Italy, on the other hand, is a pure Novus Romana, but of the XXI century, or maybe even XXII century! Only Fascist, but no longer as radical as when it was born in pain after the turmoil caused by the Sirens' involvement in World War I and the end of the Great Siren War. And the monarchy holds well, while something like a republic rather evokes a smile of pity from the typical local Italian.
China is an oddity that is hard to describe, on the one hand we have the Emperor and therefore quite traditional looking cities. But in this there is some strange and miraculous mixture of the appearance of modern China with the future in the style of Orwell's 1984. It just doesn't make sense, traditional houses would be next to them a futuristic looking shopping mall and in front of it a huge concrete building ala classic totalitarian state look.
And Japan. Come back Nihon! It's Japan from Red Alert 3 but in Cyberpunk of all styles literally everywhere. Each city has a slightly different Cyberpunk look to it, and where you go you'll immediately notice what style the city is. It's as if each city has agreed on such and such a work of art from this genre.
The last country was Rusviet. In short, cosmo soviets with a style from their best 70s of the 20th century before the terrible oil crisis. And to forget, Rusviet is not a combination of the words Russia and Soviet, but Ruthenia and Soviets!
But the most important is their western border which, because of the existence of the Rzeczpospolita of Nations, is based on the Polish-Russian border that was more or less slightly shifted to the east when Poland had almost a Million Square Kilometers.
That's right, Poland. Sorry Polania as the country is often colloquially abbreviated. Because the official name is the Rzeczpospolita of the United Nations: the Crown Kingdom of Poland the Grand Duchy of Lithuania, the Cossack Hetmanate, the Duchy of Prussia, the Silesian Duchies, the Crimean Khanate, the Duchy of Curon and its colonies, the Iflant and the Crown Colonies. Awfully long that name right?
The country miraculously survived in this world which turned out to be the biggest difference to her world. A pain in the ass for Germany and Rusviet. Country which can be called USA in Europe but monarchistic although free election still exists today but for over two centuries the Czartoryski family has been sitting on the throne.
The homeland of the Mechs built by Mikołaj Tesla, in this world Tesla emigrated to the Rzeczpospolita and not to the USA and generally went down in history much better and his name is among those scientists who helped the ordinary Navy have a fighting chance against the Sirens. And his Son followed in his father's footsteps and proved to be no less a genius.
Simply put, this world gave her the answer to the question never asked, what if Poland never disappeared from the maps? The answer Russia would be a shithole, Germany would be unified in a peace process by Saxony. And World War I and World War II would be fought mostly in Central Europe and Eastern Europe.
Of course she learned a lot about this local equivalent of Poland, forced by the situation, although calling it Poland is very unfair and simplistic, considering that very soon she realized how multilingual the crews of the Republic could be and how the rest of the Nations did not like to be called Poles. A small fight with OCK Kartal, who was a Tatar, quickly taught her not to call anyone from that country a Pole.
In a way she was amused by the irony of the situation, everyone would rather expect to end up in another world to Alter!America, Alter!Japan, Alter!Germany and so on and not to Alter!Poland. And the fact of being in the Atlantic and not in the Pacific is also strange.
As for the appearance, it's a country of contrasts, on one hand it's rural and it's very reminiscent of a series of paintings by a Polish painter who mixed traditional Polish countryside with what is strangely very similar to the local mechami. On the other hand, classicism, modernism and the Polish future from that series on Netflix she watched, I think 1983.
In general, Poland looked the most modern and familiar of all countries, although she could see things that did not exist in her world.
Her further daydreaming was interrupted by a more insistent female voice. "Hello? Is someone there?" She spoke in Polanian dragging the endings and waving them in front of her face.
"Sorry I was just thinking." Akagi replied, shaking her head to sober up.
"I can just see" She raised an eyebrow "And may I know what you were thinking about? Or is it more of a private thing?" She asked tilting her head.
"I just thought about how your medicine is highly developed to then start with Mała Ameryka and end up thinking about the Rzeczpospolita. Comparing your world to mine." Said Akagi honestly, seeing no reason why she shouldn't say that.
The woman began to nod. "I see, hard what?"
Akagi raised her hands "As you can see for yourself. Quite hard, though I would rather say stiff." Then she asked "And may I know who you are and why I haven't seen you here in these three months?"
The woman frowned slightly as if she didn't know what to say. After a slightly longer awkward moment she replied "I am Adrianna, the first of the KANSEN adopted by the commander." She lowered her head slightly "From de me this madness started." She laughed awkwardly then added. "For I was an accident at work of the Nihon research team under Akashi's leadership."
Then her expression changed to a more serious one and resentment sounded in her voice. "Unfortunately they considered me a waste, such times were probably in 49 when the Sirens gave us all a hard time as well as revealing their ground troops." Seeing Akagi's questioning face "It was a fucking massacre I'll tell you that much."
"Of course they couldn't afford to let the resources go to waste and made me a child soldier, and you should know I was fucking 6 years old! Or at least I had the body of a 6 year old child." Akagi hearing this made her nervous.
The woman's smile though painful appeared on her face. "Luckily Akashi was rather against it, and she knew the Commander, my dad even before the war."
Akagi on the other hand made a note in her head. And the kitsune continued, "He was then an ordinary officer commanding a flotilla of Rzeczpospolita ships in the Pacific. Luckily he knew who he needed to know which is more specifically the original Nagato, I don't have to say how much she liked what was going on right?"
Akagi agreed "Yes"
"So she managed to arrange a transfer away from this mess although the commander somewhat under duress adopted me. Luckily he warmed up to me quickly, and of course mum." Here at the word mum her eyes anxiously flickered to Akagi for a moment. It did not go unnoticed by her.
"And so I grew up as a human being and, somewhat in passing, contributed both to changing the opinion of KANSEN around the world and to establishing the custom of approaching KANSEN by ordinary people, often commanders. Until now we have usually been treated as objects rather than people despite people like Pope Pius XI and Admiral Nimitz, for example."
Adrianna looked at the window "When I grew up I followed in my parents' footsteps and joined the army." Then she smiled "And contrary to what you may think, I didn't join the Navy I joined the Army and unfortunately because of my health I work in logistics." As if on cue there was an attack of coughing.
"And have you been in... during this time?" She paused, wondering what country she had served.
"I was in Prussia, then took a small leave where I helped my uncle with his problem." Akagi noticed the strange emphasis on the word helped and problem and the slippage on the word uncle.
"And now I came back about three days ago and was transferred here the day before yesterday, and I arrived late last night here." She finished cheerfully and quickly.
Akagi clapped her hands "I see, and what KANSEN ship are you if I may ask?"
Adrianna scratched her head at this question before she somewhat reluctantly answered "Amagi, an Amagi class cruiser liner."
Akagi gasped slightly upon hearing the answer, thankfully she didn't sink into painful memories of the past thanks to Adrianna's instant change of subject.
"Why don't you open a present? The commander made it for you." Akagi was surprised, never had their Admiral done that.
"Surprised? While it's customary to make such packages for our Commander, general policy encourages Commanders to try to bond more with KANSEN because it increases their combat effectiveness. That's why everyone does it in their own way, Dad prefers to give packages of candy."
Indeed, there was no shortage of sweets in the package, and quite a few and varied brands from around the world. What caught Akagi's eye and she first took out of the package, surprisingly bigger than the box looked was Bertie Bott's Every Flavour Beans with the slogan risk with every bite!
"Oh watch out there really are all flavors here. Dad loves to give them especially to the injured girls." Said Adrianna with a smile.
Akagi nodded and decided to give it a try, she took a black bean and hoping she had taken chocolate put it in her mouth.
"Strange taste, and pretty hard. What is it?" She asked Adrianna who was looking at her somewhat in shock. "Well what?" she asked as she swallowed
Pointing a finger at Adrianna "You know it was probably coal flavored?"
Akagi raised an eyebrow and asked "And how do you know?"
"I don't want to talk about it, okay?" Replied Adrianna blushing.
"Suit yourself." Said Akagi looking at the packaging of the box of beans. It said manufactured at Bertie Bott's Sweets Factory in Hogsmeade, United Kingdom.
Akagi shrugged her shoulders, it's not like these are the real original beans right?