Hailey was still biting her nails, pacing back and forth in the Med's waiting room when she spotted Will making his way to her. Although he had rightfully appeared incommensurably distraught when they had brought Jay in a few hours prior, he had refused for any other volunteering colleague to practice the imperative surgery on his brother's critical wound. Ambushed by the urgency of the situation and the waves of shock engulfing him, he had not been able to ask for more than the basic questions he would for any other patients. Then, with Natalie impulsively assisting him, they rushed into the closest operating room he made sure was available and had not manifested himself ever since.
As he came to her level, she noticed his whole body and facial expressions changing from being a skilled and confident doctor to a broken brother in great distress. She also caught a glimpse of a worried and sorrowful Natalie standing in the background as a subplot figurant, dossier in hand, who regretfully chose to take the opposite direction albeit she had no clue why.
His whole face was mirroring hers: Livid. Drained. With bloodshot eyes. A long face reflecting a heavy heart. He couldn't even find the energy to offer a curtesy smile, he was trembling, indicating he would break down any second. He now could barely stand on his two feet, the adrenaline unmistakably wearing off and reality striking like a bolt of lightning.
This alarmed Hailey more than she could ever display as her wild and dark imagination supplanted the optimism and faith she had held all along. Her heart and mind were fiercely battling inside and she found herself torn as an entity. The former was racing and shrieking that it was unthinkable to even consider the universe could be cruel enough to put her through that kind of tragedy. Twice. The latter on the other hand, was reporting that sometimes the odds were never in your favor.
Will found a seat and hunched up to allow himself to let go, putting his head in his hands, tears streaming down his face. Tears escalated into sobs as Hailey, nonetheless still dreading the worse case scenario, crouched down and took him in her arms, unable to stop herself from bursting into tears either.
This instant, Will felt like family and lending him a shoulder to cry on felt to be the right thing to do. One thing was for certain: no matter how well or not they knew each other or how long it had been since their last encounter, they would always have the richest and most binding thing in common: the vehemence of their love for Jay.
She absorbed that seeing his brother unusually defenseless and battered must have been grief-stricken except she was only praying that his breaking down solely meant processing the current events and taking his emotions into account.
"How is Jay?" She finally dared to enquire, grossly wiping away the flood of tears on her face. He did the same before attempting to collect himself as a reminder he was still hanging around his workplace. Both of them stood up simultaneously, facing the other one.
"Thank you. I needed that." She nodded silently, putting a hand on his arm and squeezing it lightly. She had given him the space he desperately longed to vent but she remained anxious to know more about Jay's condition.
Sensing her despair, he pursued:
"We've stabilized him," he reassured her first. Her reaction was not long in coming as a crucial and interminable sigh of relief escaped her. She bent down, putting her hands on her upper legs as more uncontrollable tears kept soaking up her face.
"We tended to the numerous injuries on his body and face: scratches, bruises and hematoma. He also suffers from a head trauma due to the severe attack on the back of his head. He was probably knocked down with a metal bar to be honest. The bullet wound though tricky, did not reach any vital organs."
He paused, not with the intention of coming across as dramatic but he simply had an urgent need of catching his breath after experiencing such a close call. The victim was not unidentified: he had been performing surgery on his own flesh and blood, his only family left. Enumerating his brother's injuries was no pleasure cruise therefore he breathed in and mastered the courage necessary to carry on,
"We've managed to extract the bullet and close the wound. It did a lot of physical damage but I believe everything will be alright. We just have to be patient." After filling Hailey on the details, he noticed there were probably two words she had only just picked up: stabilize and patient.
"Wait for what?" She questioned, running short of poise.
"We just have to wait for him to wake up. Because with time, he'll recuperate just fine. But I'm telling you like it is, there is a long road ahead." Nevertheless, Hailey offered a genuine smile for the first time in days at those encouraging words from Will and he allowed himself to mimic her. All Jay had to do was hang in there for everyone.
"When is that going to be?" She tried to fish for more details while currently expecting the limits of medicine and what Will unquestionably had no power over.
"Whenever he decides to." He admitted, currently as helpless as she was.
She chuckled, knowing Jay would make them suffer until he had laughed his head off. Will gave her a curious look but she dismissed it with her hand, not appealing enough to explain how his brother liked to drive everyone crazy when he was in the best position to know that.
"Can I see him?" She asked, her eyes and voice pleading.
There was an urgent need to be around his corner and catch sight of the extent of his condition. She wanted to be in close proximity as every improving minute was going by thus incapable of imagining being anywhere else when he would open his eyes at last. For he was only permitted to rise from the ashes, as he had perpetually and formerly done.
"Very soon, I promise."
"Where is the rest of the team?" Will finally took a look around and puzzlement crept upon his face as they had all come barging in as a team earlier. He was familiar with how tight the unit was and for that reason, he had not expected for her to wait all alone.
"Probably ambushing Angela in her room, I don't know. I'm trying not to think about it too much and let Voight handle this because I know I will do something I'll regret if I come across her." She stated, getting agitated once again.
Concern and care were traded with anger and resentment as she passed a hand through her now loosened yet messy undulated blond hair.
"What happened Hailey?" His eyes were growing wide and then it hit her. He had no idea what had actually transpired and that made her stop dead in her tracks. She mentioned for them to sit down and though not enchanted by the idea of reliving these past weeks' events, she was the only one at liberty or fit for bringing him insight on his brother's mindset and the dreadful turn of events that ensued.
"Have you heard about Marcus West?" She tested the waters to be cognizant of where to start and he contented with shaking his head.
"I'll keep it concise. Jay has been blaming himself for the death of a guy in county named Marcus West. Because of a deficient facial recognition software, Marcus was wrongfully accused of savagely killing two teenage boys and it turned out he was innocent."
"What does it have to do with Jay?" He inquired ingenuously.
"Because he had been the one to tackle the case and had treated him the way you'd treat any cold-blooded murderers. He was so persuaded the guy was guilty and wanted to make the case so bad! Anyway, since Marcus' passing he has been trying to help his widow Angela and young son Bobby, with offering financial and moral support. Undercover of course."
They were both silently cursing his sense of morality and deep urge to always pick up the pieces of the damage done. They shared a grave and telling look, aware of being on the same wavelength before she stated further,
"It backfired, turns out Angela was wrapped up in some kind of drug-dealing thing. She called Jay who came to her rescue. They got kidnapped and he confessed his wrongdoing while they were held hostages." Will could not utter a single word. He was experiencing so many mixed emotions that he needed a few moments to come to terms with these information.
"He saved her from the criminals but she seized the opportunity to shoot him when he was unarmed and approaching her to tell her she was safe." She concluded, trying to fight the tears for the umpteenth time as her voice quivered and the flashbacks of his last moments in captivity became unbearable.
It was Will's turn to offer quiet comfort as he was aware Hailey had been by his side through getting shot and relieving those fresh and vivid memories was causing her physical and emotional pain. Whilst he was letting her regain control of her emotionalism, it gave him the time to sort out his own raging thoughts to proclaim,
"I get that she would feel angry about the unfairness of her husband's death. I can't also blame her for feeling resentment, even hatred towards Jay. But ending Jay's life wouldn't have brought her husband back nor would have it taken the pain away. I don't want to see her either. I don't want to have to deal with her." He declared, feeling overwhelmed and hindered.
For a few minutes there, nothing was further said. Both had no idea where to move their cursors on the specter of emotions, they were all over the place. Yet, Will was choosing to focus on the positive outcome of it all despite the terrible hardships inflicted on his brother. That's what gave him the confidence to keep on saying,
"Thank you for sharing this with me. I know how much you have on your plate now but I appreciate your dedication and altruism. I didn't know much but I've been told that your determination to find Jay was closely followed by your anger at the world." He told her putting a hand on her shoulder, squeezing it gently.
"At myself." She corrected sporting a somber long. He shot her a perplexed look and she looked down, fidgeting her hands.
"What in the hell hell did you do wrong?" He asked agape at her self-flagellation, still not grasping what her downcast demeanor connoted.
"I should have kept an eye on Jay the minute I sensed he was getting off the beaten tracks. I should have been more vigilant and listened to my instincts. Or I should have talked to Voight and none of this would have happened. Damn your brother and his good heart!" She exclaimed, virulently standing up.
Still appalled by the rage she was boomeranging at herself, he followed her and took both her hands in his while redirecting her towards her seat in an attempt to soothe her. Then he said with his softest and sincerest voice,
"He does have a good heart but he's also the most stubborn human being on the planet. Jay never listens. There's nothing else you could have done."
"But if he wakes up, that is going to change I can promise you this." She replied firmly resolved not to let anything similar ever happen to them again. Will flinched at her sentence and corrected her,
"When." He simply stated.
"Excuse me?"
"I'm just correcting your syntax. When he is going to wake up. He has no choice but to do so." Will said assuredly.
"Of course!" She retorted, cursing herself for sounding so careless.
"Thank you for what you did for my brother, Hailey." He suddenly expressed, noting that in all this madness he had omitted to concede those two simple words, at loss for any other term that would be sufficient or meaningful enough.
"I'd do anything for him." She effortlessly replied, incapable of keeping her vulnerability out of sight.
He smirked. If he had had his suspicions about Jay before, he instantly had the validation that something very intense had been occurring for a long time between the two of them.
"I think the feeling's mutual." Hailey shot him a perplexed look, as to demand how he would have knowledge of this.
"Do you remember that deadly-flesh-eating-bacteria debacle?" Will asked humorously, making light of another dreadful and disturbing event that city had brought upon them.
"How could I forget!? I was in quarantine!" She said half-jokingly, letting bygones be bygones.
"Yeah. After that ordeal, Jay and I went to Molly's to celebrate having bought more time together. We were sound and safe, once again." Will smiled at the recollection of this crowded, joyful and fun night spent talking, drinking and enjoying each other's company.
"I remember." She confirmed. Even though she had not participated in their festivities, she was always aware of his whereabouts.
"Of course you do." He said, smirking playfully at what followed naturally from conjugality. She nudged him, clearly embarrassed by his insinuations.
"Well, we vented about it a lot that night but his uplifted mood suddenly vanished when I brought up your name." Her heart sank at the thought of her name ever being a source of discomfort for him. He moved his head from side to side, signaling she was already misinterpreting what he was trying to convey.
"Why?" She demanded then.
"Because he was feeling guilty. Because he had sent you to that place and involuntarily put you in harm's way."
He had never told her this. She remembered how distant he had been for a few days, barely acknowledging her when she got out of the hospital. She had no idea he had felt that way. Typical Jay blaming himself for something he did not have any control over.
"He couldn't have predicted that turn of events, that's part of the job."
"Exactly." He shot her a suggestive look, hinting at the perilous risks they both had to take for the good of the job, trying to ease up her guilt as well. Will kept on clarifying,
"He knew that's what you would say. But that night, he told me how ironic it was that he had been unable to protect you when you were the one to help save his life. And he also said something that has stuck with me and that is making a lot more sense now while I'm talking to you."
"Which is?" Will was still smirking, clearly enjoying her mortification at the sudden turn of their conversation when she was suppressing the urge to smack him across the face in order to wipe that smug look he was harboring.
"That he would hate this job if anything were to happen to you." She blushed profusely, presently well conscious the two brothers were somehow mentioning her when time was spent together.
She knew Will would not disclose any more and she did not want him to either. Every uncertainty haunting her she wanted answers to, in due form. In time. With Jay.
"I heard about Natalie recuperating her memory. That's such good news." She blurted out all of a sudden. She needed to feel anything but bashfulness so she thought reversing their position was a good initiative. Will cracked up but played along anyway, declaring,
"Yeah, I'm happy for her. She gets to see the world with a clear and true vision again." He verbalized sincerely but something stroke her as off, his answer almost rehearsed.
"For her? What about for you?" She pushed gently.
If he had grown to know a lot about her, she was cleverly asserting Jay had been whispering about him too. He had waited and longed for Natalie for so many years that she had expected for them to have worked things out promptly. From the look of it they had not, which explained the space she had given him after the surgery.
"I guess it's another story for another time Hailey. Right now my main focus is Jay and his well-being." He took her hand in his once again, shutting her off tenderly.
"You're right, I didn't mean to pry." He tapped her hand delicately, assuring her everything was alright before letting it go.
"Let's go, I'll take you to his room." They both stood up and he instinctively put a hand on her back as to guide her to the room Jay was resting in but she halted their movements when she turned to him to add,
"Thanks Will. I wish we could have stroke such a deep conversation under other circumstances but I'm glad we got to do this anyway." And just like that, she smiled from ear to ear.
"Likewise, Hailey." He returned her smile, both of them synchronized: grinning faces reflecting hopeful hearts.
Thank you for all the wonderful reviews on my last story! I feel like I'm only "efficient" at writing oneshots but I've got a few ideas for this one, I hope they will follow through!
I'd also like to share that I obviously have little knowledge on the medical line of work so bear with me, I hope everything will make sense in this story. Hope you will enjoy!