Zuko was thoroughly exhausted. It had been a very long time since he had been able to say that. Oh yeah, sure, he'd been lazy, or known it was healthy to sleep, or'd just wanted to stay in bed because hey, it was comfortable, or even just tired. This… this was different. Every single one of his muscles hurt and he didn't want to spend any more energy thinking ever again and he wasn't sure he had the energy to make it to bed.

He couldn't understand how Aang had made it through the entire night, really. After the spar, Ozai had worked him for hours on firebending techniques, and Zuko had been summoned to help. Of course, Zuko mostly understood why - it was hard to fight with only two people, especially when you were preparing for battle (which was apparently a thing now), Zuko had been Aang's previous teacher.

According to Ozai, he'd done an absolutely horrible job. It was hard to not blame his father for that, since Ozai had never made time to train Aang himself. Zuko knew he wasn't supposed to blame his father for stuff, but wouldn't completely blame himself, at least. Did it really matter if Aang moved more like an airbender in a few moves? Zuko didn't think so, as long as he still got them correctly. But he supposed now that it was slightly a bigger deal.

He stared at his bed, wondering if it was really worth walking over to it. The house was fairly warm, after all, and even if he got there, he'd be woken after just a few hours. That was probably the worst part of all of it. Training had taken up almost the entire night, and even if he could get to sleep, he'd be woken at sunrise to train again (unless for some reason his father decided to let them sleep, but this was their father they were talking about, so. That wouldn't happen.).

It was even worse for Aang. During the few hours that Aang had been showing every airbending move Zuko had ever seen (and some he hadn't), Zuko had gotten to sit down and rest. Aang hadn't ever really gotten a break. Zuko sighed. Maybe it would be a good idea to make sure Aang was sleeping? Or at least trying to?

No, that didn't make sense. Aang was smart. He would sleep. Probably. It didn't affect Zuko's ability to do so. He forced his legs into action again and moved over to his bed. He laid down and tried not to think.

His stupid brain wouldn't let him. Aang's little idea had almost turned into a catastrophe. Some could argue reasonably that it had. Zuko didn't know how Aang had expected it to go - telling his father he was an air nomad was a really risky move. Zuko wasn't sure how it had happened himself - according to all the air nomads, the next avatar was supposed to be an airbender, and Ozai himself had said Aang was Fire Nation genetically. That kinda settled it.

Zuko sighed. It probably didn't really matter. The spirits obviously didn't care about logic. Or anything. He rolled over and closed his eyes. It was mostly their fault, this little avatar problem. He could blame them.

There was someone tapping on Zuko's window. And they'd woken him up. He blinked blearily for a moment and then got up to get it. He was almost there when he really realized the absurdity of it. Someone was tapping. On his window. He paused. It was still dark outside. What was someone doing tapping on his window?

He pushed it open. And came face to face with some eighteen year old who promptly fell of the sill, from which he'd been holding onto before. Or he would have, except he grabbed the top of the window and then pulled himself into Zuko's room. Zuko blinked again and fell back against his bed. He had not been expecting an airbender to randomly come into his room in the middle of the night. Especially not on this night, where he literally had no sleep.

And not Leehn, who hated him! He nodded once. "Hey, Zuko. How are you?"

Zuko shook his head once to make sure he was seeing things correctly. As far as he knew, Leehn had absolutely no reason to be visiting him whatsoever. If it was some airbending thing, he should have seen his father, or well, his brother, who would actually have cared. And why, why, why was he here so early? It was still dark out! "Um…" Was he supposed to tell him Aang's room was downstairs?

Leehn grinned. "Wow. Did I actually catch the mighty Zuko off guard?" What. It was the middle of the night. Was this a joke? Why was Leehn joking in the middle of the night? Seeing Zuko's expression, Leehn's grin faltered. "So are we waiting for a certain little airbender this morning?"

Zuko shook his head again. "I'm sorry. I don't understand. What are you doing in my house?"

Leehn sighed. "Just wanted to check up on Aang. I mean…. Wait. Let's start from the beginning. Yesterday your brother came to me and told me he was going to tell your father… well, his secret. Did that happen?"

Zuko was finally waking up. "He told us that he was an airbender. Is that what you're asking?"

Leehn nodded. "His plan was to leave with us this morning. I talked to the council - they don't think it worked, and honestly, neither do I. Aang's a great kid, but sometimes he doesn't think things through very well."

Okay, now Zuko was awake. Leehn had no right to insult his brother. "He thought this through! It just didn't work the way he'd originally planned. But it wasn't his fault! Our father was… well, apparently there's this thing called the Avatar? And he's excited about that. That's all."

Now Leehn looked annoyed. "Zuko, that 'thing' is your brother."

Zuko folded his arms. "Supposedly. But Aang doesn't want to be… you know what? I don't care." Zuko didn't have arguments with airbenders (except Aang was an airbender now so maybe he did sometimes).

Leehn sighed. "Okay. Well, I've been told to come and check up to see if… if it worked. I'm assuming it didn't work out?"

Well. It had, um, failed. Completely. Aang had asked to be allowed to leave. Instead, he'd been turned into a work machine. "No, Leehn. It didn't work out. Aang's staying." Zuko turned away from Leehn. "You can go now."

There was a pause. Zuko stared ahead. He had no idea what Leehn was going to do next, but he was positive he didn't want to hear anything like "I'm so sorry" or "I knew that would happen" or "Do you think you can make Ozai change his mind" or anything like that. And he was fairly certain something like that would happen.

Zuko felt the weight on his bed shift. "Zuko… how bad was it?"

Zuko's stomach clenched. "We're alive. You can go." We don't need help from an airbender.

"Just alive?"

Zuko sighed and sat up to face Leehn. "Yeah. What else would we be?" Leehn opened his mouth and Zuko found that he just really didn't care. At all. "You know what, nevermind. If you want to know, go ask Aang. I'm sure he'd be ecstatic to see you."

Leehn raised an eyebrow. He looked much less… silly than normal. Zuko was suddenly hit with the reality that this person was fighting in the war. "Really? I would have thought that he'd want to sleep. That he'd want as much sleep as he could get. Because, well, I would think he'd be training."

Being in a war didn't always mean you deserved respect. "Okay then. Leave us all alone and go… council or whatever."

Leehn nodded. "Okay. I do need to do that. But - " Leehn glanced around the room. "I promise I won't stay for long. But I just… I mean I'm not supposed to say this, but could you please tell Aang we don't know if… when we're coming back?"

A lot of the anger in Zuko vanished and in its place came an uncomfortable kind of fear. "What do you mean?"

"Well, you don't have to say those words exactly… yeah, that would actually probably freak him out. But could you figure out a way to nicely tell him that this is the last time we're going out?" Zuko was still staring at him. Leehn bit his lip. "Okay. It doesn't look like you understand what I'm telling you. Let me try again. So you know how we're fighting against the Fire Nation right?"

"Yeah." How dumb did this airbender think he was?

Leehn nodded as if the answer wasn't so obvious. "We're going off for battle again, but we don't know… when we're going to be coming back. This is probably going to take us past the mainland and all of the airbenders are going to join the cause, not just the ones located here."

Zuko blinked. "There are airbenders in more places than here?" As soon as he said it, he realized what a silly thought it was. Of course there were - they were occasionally sent small children, and there were much more males than females.

"Yeah - on other small islands under Fire Nation control. We're actually lucky here - on one of the other islands, people started being killed - murdered - for no reason. We're all going to join though, not as these different groups, but as an airbending unit. We just want to stay alive." Leehn was staring right at Zuko. He seemed more serious than Zuko had ever seen him.

Zuko nodded. "So you want me to tell Aang that…" He swallowed hard. That the airbenders were leaving… forever, and Aang was going to miss them because of his new Avatar training. Yeah, that would be a fun conversation. "That you guys are leaving." There, he'd said it. It didn't fix the foreboding stirring in him. This didn't feel right.

Leehn nodded. "Yeah. Maybe… maybe wait for a bit. Like… don't tell him right away - I don't think he'll take it well. Wait a while first. But please tell him. He needs to know."

Zuko nodded again. He wasn't sure he trusted himself to speak. He'd never really necessarily liked the air nomads, but he hadn't hated them. Sure, there had been moments like when he'd been five and gotten pelted with sand (and done his fair share of pelting), but them being on the island had always just been part of his life. They'd always been there, however annoying he found them. Besides the occasional tourist, they were the only ones he'd ever known.

Leehn misread his silence. "Hey don't worry, we won't leave any of our animals with you - besides Appa, that is. We… We wanted to leave something for Aang. Are you okay with that, at least?" He honestly seemed apprehensive.

Zuko cleared his throat. "Yeah, okay. That's fine." He had no idea how he was going to even start trying to explain this to Aang. Then a thought came to him that scared him more than any of this. "Wait. So is… is my father… going with you guys?" If he went along, he'd probably take Aang, and Zuko wouldn't be able to go, and he wouldn't be able to protect him from making mistakes.

But an ugly expression crossed Leehn's face before turning more neutral. "No. He's not."

Very much relieved but also slightly confused, Zuko questioned, "But… he's helping with the war movement. I mean, I'm glad he's staying, but wouldn't he go with you?"

Leehn closed his eyes for a brief moment. "He's not helping as much as you think he is, Zuko."

What? What did Leehn even mean by that? How wasn't his father helping? If he wasn't, then why was he gone so often? What did he think was so important that he had to leave for so long and so often? "What do you mean by that?" Zuko knew voice probably sounded angry, but he didn't really care.

Leehn sighed and shook his head. "It's nothing." Yeah. Maybe Zuko shouldn't have sounded angry. Now he'd be mad, or wondering, or something, for forever. Leehn wasn't done. "Hey look… about your father… and Aang being the Avatar and all, I… well, don't take this the wrong way, but I think you should probably leave."

Zuko was probably taking this the wrong way, but he didn't care. Crossing his arms around his chest, he said, "I am not going to fight a war with a bunch of people who would rather die than -"

A very strange expression crossed Leehn's face. "No. No, no no, that was not what I was saying. I do not want you to come with us. That… that would be completely wrong. That… just no. I know Aang wanted to come with us, but he doesn't understand how dangerous it would be. We… wow. No, Zuko, I do not want you even thinking about coming with us."

Zuko unfolded his arms, way more confused now. "Then where do you want us to go?"

Leehn licked his lips and scooted slightly forward. "I want you to go find a waterbending teacher for Aang. I want you to find a way to help him learn the elements and take back the land that we've lost. Or… fight in his own way, as the Avatar. Um, so not with your father. It'll still be dangerous, but he'll actually be able to make a difference."

Zuko nodded, trying to process that. "I… okay. I… that's an interesting idea." Leehn nodded and turned to leave. Zuko paused. "Hey, Leehn? Aang really cares about you guys. Can you try not to die? You know, for him?"

Leehn grinned. "You got it, pal. We'll do our best. You know, we're not big fans of death either. Alright, I gotta head out. Remember what I said, okay? Think about it."

And just like that, he was out the window again, flying away on his glider to go counsel about how to get ready to fight against one of the biggest empires in history. Zuko smiled just slightly. If he didn't know better, he would have said that they were insane.

And then this whole leaving business… it was… a thing, for sure. If they left, where would they go? What would they do? Would Aang care about being the Avatar without his father there? He should probably talk to Aang about it. Maybe when he told him what Leehn had said about leaving. But he really wasn't planning on doing that for a while - he had just gotten Aang back to normal, he didn't want to undo that.

Plus, stuff was already hard for Aang. He didn't want to add to the stress his little brother was dealing with. And would be dealing with for a long time. For now, he was content, though exhausted, to stay where he was.

Aang had always tried to be an optimist - really, he had, always, even when things were horrible. The monks had taught that everything was fleeting - just like the wind. Sometimes good stuff happened, sometimes really hard stuff happened. You just waited it out and eventually the cooler winds would come and it'd stop being so miserably hot. And when it finally evened out, you tried to enjoy it, because soon, it'd stop being so wonderful.

Aang understood that, but still, he couldn't really see how things could become… well, fixed right now. For the past week, he'd been training every. Single. Day. Literally. How was that fleeting? And it wasn't just a crazy mind numbing schedule, it was painful and hard. And why was he doing it? To help his dad take over stuff because he apparently deserved it? It just didn't make sense.

It didn't even, to Aang, seem like he deserved any of it. Especially because the monks didn't think Father was helping as much as Zuko said they were. Some of them had even said they didn't like him, which was crazy because they tried to like everyone and it would've been really nice if maybe Father could've maybe told them exactly how the war was going, instead of just hinting at how things might be going.

And then there was the whole thing of how incredibly hard earthbending was. Father had started trying to teach Aang waterbending the day after he'd tried to join the air nomads (he still couldn't get over how terribly that had gone - he'd had a plan, it wasn't his fault it completely failed) and the thing was, he'd gotten it right away. Waterbending came naturally to him, once he'd figured out that he was supposed to kind of pull the water from the scroll he'd been given. Really, it felt natural (though some of the moves didn't make much sense - he felt like he was missing something), and even the parts that were kind of hard he figured he'd get eventually.

It was weird because waterbending was actually easier than firebending. Father had been really pleased with his speed, actually, and it had felt so cool for a few days, getting good at something and actually having the attention for a while. But then, he'd gotten impatient and ready for Aang to learn more, so they started earthbending.

He'd been able to waterbend on the first day, but after four long, dirty, gritty days on the ground where he wasn't allowed to airbend or waterbend or firebend he hadn't managed to move a single rock.

And now, he felt guilty, too, because it had been a week since Zuko had received any kind of attention besides being used as a fighting tool. Aang knew what that felt like and it was horrible, but it wasn't like he could give Zuko the attention he needed because he was… busy. With earthbending. Or rather, failing at earthbending.

He knew a lot of the moves - he'd memorized at least ten of the motions, and what they were supposed to look like, but he just couldn't move the rock. For some reason earth benders didn't write many scrolls, and what they did write was super confusing. The scrolls said to be rooted, but if you, like, jumped onto the ground, wouldn't you be more able to force the rock up or something? When he'd tried that, and it really hadn't worked, he had been banned from airbending.

The scrolls showed people pushing their hands. So he did. And flew backwards. And got yelled at for airbending. It wasn't like it was his fault! He wasn't trying to airbend, it just came out naturally. So he tried to mutter that, and got yelled at to speak louder, so he tried to, and got told that fire should be natural and it just didn't make sense!

Fire was natural, kind of, but air was like coming home. It always had been! Aang wasn't sure why, but he knew it really bothered Father, and Zuko a little bit too. So he'd stopped talking about it and tried to just learn earthbending. But it just. Didn't exist.

He could not earthbend.

There really wasn't another way to say it - he'd tried and failed so many times, and he hadn't made any progress. Everything hurt and he wasn't getting enough sleep and he was so so tired and he hadn't had even a second to visit any of the airbenders and none of them had come to visit him and he only had two more minutes before he was supposed to go out there again and fail again and he just really… didn't want to.

Zuko came over to him. Aang sighed. Great. This was just wonderful - it was time to hear how he shouldn't have told Father he could airbend and why did he bring it up and nobody cares. Aang tried to send a message with his eyes to Zuko - just go away please! It didn't work. Zuko sat down and studied Aang for a minute. "Hey. You okay?"

Aang shrugged, trying to force a smile. If he looked okay, maybe Zuko wouldn't push for details and wouldn't end up yelling at him. "Yeah. I mean, earthbending's hard and all. But it's okay. I mean, are you okay? I know Father's been, uh, been's making you do a lot more fighting than you're used to." Turn the conversation around to the other person. It made them start talking about themselves and helped you get away if you wanted to hide something - Father had taught Aang that.

Zuko shrugged. "Honestly Aang, it's fine. It's not that much, especially compared to you." Aang inwardly face-palmed. Father had taught Zuko the same thing.

"Sure, sure. But we all know who's the better bender around here, so I'm fine!" Aang grinned to let Zuko know it was a joke, but Zuko's face still flashed anger and confusion for a moment. Aang's grin faltered. "Sorry. I… you're a better bender than me, I don't know why I said that, I -"

"No, it's fine. It's because you're the Avatar. It naturally makes you stronger. I know that, you know that. You're the better bender. You're the one who's going to help Father. I'm happy for you, Aang, I really am." But Zuko wouldn't look at him.

Aang felt like crying. He'd just accidentally insulted the only person on the entire island that even remotely liked him. Maybe he should leave, too. Just… get out, hoping that somewhere, there was something there for him that wasn't here. Maybe he'd go and find the airbending fighters - they hadn't told him where they were going, but he could figure it out. Actually, that was kind of weird. They always had before. "Hey Zuko, did the airbenders tell you where they were going? Or for how long?"

Zuko shot him a sharp look. "Why?"

Aang shrugged. "Just because." It wouldn't really do well to tell his brother he was planning on leaving. He'd probably be bombarded with "oh no, that's not safe" and "you would leave me?" because Zuko knew that would keep him even though it wasn't a plan to leave him necessarily, it was just a plan to leave everything.

"No. They didn't tell me anything. There's no reason for you to worry about them." Aang could tell he was lying by the way he sounded uncertain. That was one of the ways you could tell, according to another of Father's lessons. Or also if they didn't look at you, which Zuko wasn't. Zuko seemed to remember his lessons, because he sighed and looked straight at Aang. "Well, not right now, anyway. It's about time to practice earthbending again, okay? You good with that?"

Aang shrugged. "Yeah, that's cool." He forced himself to stand up and started walking to the middle of the arena. "Probably a good idea, too, Father doesn't like it when I'm late."

Zuko sighed. Like he had any reason to sigh (which was probably a bit unfair but at the moment, Aang didn't care). "I guess that's true. Are you ready?"

No. I'm not ready - I never wanted this stupid position, I don't like how I can't get the stupid element, I don't understand why it's so hard, I hate the constant pressure, I just really want to leave right now. "Yup. Totally ready! I think I'm actually going to get it today!"

Zuko gave Aang the kind of look that meant he totally didn't believe him. "Really."

Okay, so that actually kind of hurt. Yeah, Aang was really bad at this and really didn't want to try anymore. But that didn't mean Zuko had to rub it in! "Totally. I just think I need to focus on being more rooted, you know? But then I'll get it. I think. Probably. It'll be good. I promise."

Zuko nodded. "Okay then. A little positive thinking wouldn't do you any harm. Good luck." He turned and walked to the edge of the arena.

Aang made a face. Great. No one on the entire island expected him to be able to do it. He didn't see why it was important to continue trying - he was pretty good at airbending, and firebending, and waterbending. He was ready to fight now, or just train with those three elements! Earth didn't matter.

But as his father walked into the arena, he didn't say any of that. He just prepared himself to try to figure out how to bend the impossible for no reason. Again.

Leehn was just an airbender. He didn't know anything, especially not about Ozai or Aang. There was really no reason for his idea to leave to come back again… and again… and again. It sounded bad even in his mind, but Zuko was actually thinking about leaving. He was really doing fine, mostly, but Aang was… barely holding it together, and that was the nice way to say it. Their father somehow thought Aang could just… poof, and then he'd be a master earthbender. While Zuko couldn't understand why earthbending was harder than waterbending for Aang (because, like, shouldn't water be hard because it was the opposite of fire?), he could understand that Aang was being pushed to his absolute limit.

Yeah, Aang hadn't really complained, but he didn't usually complain when Ozai was around. There were too many risks. Still, he looked tired, and wasn't doing as well as he had been. Sure, he'd said that today was the day he'd finally get it, but Zuko was fairly certain that was to get him off his case, not because he actually thought he'd do it.

Aang just seemed different. He seemed less happy, less peppy, less okay all in all. Part of Zuko wanted to say it was because every single one of the air nomads had left this time, but he wasn't even sure Aang knew that, and if he was being honest with himself, it was a lot more than that. Aang was completely exhausted. Ozai was making him do a lot, and didn't show any sign of letting up.

The worst thing, for sure, was that Aang hadn't just poofed into being a master earthbender. Their father wanted him to, wanted him to be this Avatar thing, but he couldn't. Zuko wasn't sure if Aang literally couldn't bend earth, or if he just struggled with it.

Zuko wanted Aang to be happy. But he also wanted to be worth something besides the occasional fighting tool. Of course that made him feel guilty because that's what Aang had felt like for so long and he hadn't done that much to help him, but being in his position now, Zuko didn't like the way he was being treated. And he wanted to stop feeling guilty for not telling Aang everything about the air nomads, but he couldn't do that until he was sure they weren't all going to die. He wanted to not be… trapped anymore.

And… he wasn't crazy. He'd thought about how it could work - he'd made Aang dinner for a while, and he knew how to plan out food. Appa was there, and they could always use him to get out if they needed to… Zuko was a lot of things, but he wasn't crazy. There was a way this could work.

If they needed it to.

Leaving was a big - okay, a huge - commitment, and if they were going to do it, Zuko needed more incentive than 'Aang seems sad and we can'. Still, he wasn't sure how much worse it needed to get before he lost his patience, took his brother, and just… left.

Things should hopefully be settling down. Um, in my life, not for them. Their story is barely beginning. I'll try and get another chapter out before the break ends. Thanks for reading!