Meteors and Talks

"How are you two still sleepy?" John asked incredulously.

"Cassie wouldn't nap." Crystal grouched. "She got your radio and asked Uncle Mike to give Chris one so we could talk to him...and then chewed him into little bitty pieces. But I think she got rid of his Stupid, I know she gave it a good shot."

"What did she tell my son?" Roy asked slowly, not seeing the expression on Cassie's face at his phrasing.

"She was mad at him and this is how it sorta went. 'I don't see how you could blow Uncle John's warnings off like that." Cassie was angry at Chris and it showed in her voice. Crystal relayed. "Then she said, "You've got a lot of adults who care what happens to you, who make sure you know what's dangerous and how and how not to get hurt...and you just blew off one of them to play with that stupid cub. I never had any of that even when I had my first parents, nobody ever warned me about nothing, nobody bothered.

You have no idea what you have with your Father and Uncle John, and you hurt our parents and Uncle John bad. I saw Daddy's face, I saw Uncle's face and you have got to learn to read adults better. They thought they were going to lose you, for a bit there. Do you know that? Your stupid nearly got you killed like Mary Bract and Mister Tracil on the beach when they went swimming with the sharks and got their legs bit off.

Mama was crying so hard! How could you do something so dumb? All they wanted was for you to use some sense and stay safe, that's not asking much. How could you disappoint them and hurt them like that? The adults are going to have nightmares, I'm having them and Crystal's having them. Did you forget that your feed back made sure that she could feel your wounds? And giving her a shot won't help her cuz it's feedback, not a real wound. Don't ever blow Uncle off when he warns you about something, ever again. I had to figure stuff out on my own, you've got lots of people showing you what's what and you ignore them...are you nuts? I've set Holler to watching your sister just in case her stupid grabs her and makes her do something dumb, too...cuz you're twins, after all.'"

Crystal eyed her Dad who was breathing a little harshly, but he soon nodded. "She's right. I don't think it was her place to tell him those things, but she's not wrong. It was close there, it took a lot of work to make him stop bleeding and since we're on vacation we didn't have our gear." He said honestly. "She's younger than you two, but she's been through a lot, so she's more aware than most kids her age."

John entered the tent and went to the small figure curled up in her bag, still insulting the boy on the other end of the conversation. He smiled a bit at some of her phrasing, then held his hand out for the radio. "I think the rest of that conversation can wait until you see him. Give!" He took it when she held it up, got the crying, guilty-feeling boy to calm down and put the radio back on it's solar charger.

He held a hand to her and helped her up. "Come on. Meteor shower is about to start."

Her eyes went to Crystal, who was getting Daddy time and once her Uncle got settled on his back to watch the night sky, she lay close to him. She wanted a Daddy hug, but he was busy and hadn't even looked at her...so she wiggled a little trying to get her Uncle to hold her like Daddy did. He didn't understand and told her to be still. She froze, remembering that he was just an Uncle, not Daddy and moved away.

John watched her, confused, she wasn't even looking up. "Cassie, the meteors are starting."

She didn't care about the dumb meteors. She wanted a hug now that Daddy was dealing with her sister...she'd thought she'd get one from John...only he didn't want to. She needed it too, Chris had Mama, Crystal had Daddy...she needed her Uncle.

She watched the falling stars instead, when he reminded her again, shivering a little. Things had been wonderful until her brother's stupid had gotten in her way. She wondered silently if she was going to be left at the beach again.

Around 1 am Crystal came outside to tell her Father that Cassie was crying in her sleep and both dogs were insisting on sleeping with her. "I think she's cold, she usually sleeps with Holler and she's set him to watching me and keep me from doing something dumb." His elder daughter told her Father. "When we were watching the stars fall and you were holding me, she tried to snuggle with Uncle John and he told her to stop wiggling. And she was shivering on the ground for a while after that. She went inside to get in her bag pretty fast."

"Man..." John said quietly. "I'll get her another blanket. It is getting a bit nippy." He told Roy as he got up, following Crystal back into the tent. He got her settled with the determined dogs and then went to tend to the younger girl. She flailed her arms at him a bit and he dodged, apologizing for startling her. She stared at him, her eyes filling with tears as he refused when she tried to hug his neck, then rolled over and tried to forget what hugs felt like again. Daddy still hadn't said anything to her or hugged her, either.

Johnny stared at her back, but got another blanket around her. She was acting oddly. Perhaps the stress was finally getting to her. He waited until she was quiet before he went back outside, handing Roy a jacket.

"I scared her, arms went flying all over the place." He huffed a laugh. "She quieted easily enough."

"She was trying to hug your neck." Roy corrected. "And if you dodged, we might have a problem tomorrow. I was busy with Crystal and she tried to snuggle next to you, you told her to be still, Crystal said? She also told me you kept her grounded and calm until I got back. How has Cassie been?"

"Sober, quiet, staying really close to me."

"She needed reassurance too, Johnny...or did you focus just on Crystal?"

"I didn't mean to refuse to hug her, the dogs have been on Crystal at night, but the little one's slept plastered against my side every night...poor kid, I'll fix it in the morning."

"I'll go fix some of it now. I've been back for hours and I just realized that I haven't even said hello to her." He sounded ashamed of himself. "That's probably gone over like a solid lead balloon." He got up to go to his youngest... "No wonder she was crying herself to sleep. No hugs at all, not from you and not from me. I think she went to you because I had Crystal on my lap."

John drew a ragged breath. "And I thought she was just fidgeting when she was trying to...I hurt her. I focused on the twins, between the feedback and Chris' injuries...and...she's a strong little thing, she seemed calm, seemed okay...and I forgot she needed me too."

"Yeah, but I hurt her more, probably a lot more: She depends on me, after all."

DeSoto bit his lip and entered the big tent, noting Crystal was sound asleep between the dogs...but that little Cassie was hitching pretty hard. He woke her gently, his gut clenching when she apolgogized for being a bother, got her out of the bedroll and wrapped her up in just the blanket, holding her tightly. "You are not a bother. You are my daughter and I'm sorry." He told her softly. "I didn't mean to forget you needed me too."

John hung his head in shame outside the doorflap when he heard her apologizing for being a bother, just because she'd needed arms around her. The bear attack had unsettled everyone but she'd somehow been shunted to one side while everyone focused on the twins. She was just nine, of course she'd needed adult reassurances as well. His gut clenched as he realized she hadn't gotten any. He fought the need to go take her from her Father and hug her as tightly as he could safely do so.

Four days had passed since the bears and she had patiently waited...sure, she was held in her sleep at night, but some of that should have come when she was awake, too. No wonder she'd been acting oddly, she'd been waiting for something that would never come.

John's shoulders trembled, his head dropped further as he let tears fall, he'd left that child hurting for lack of reassurances she'd needed and which he had only given to the other girl. She'd clearly accepted the lack, showing it with increased care for her sister on her own, no doubt believing she if she tried hard enough, perhaps she could 'earn' it. He loved Roy's littlest child a great deal, actually and hurting her, however unintentionally, hurt John. He was an incredibly sensitive man after all and a great many pieces to the puzzle of Cassie's odd behavior were slotting themselves together now and the picture that was forming was ugly.

The conversation that was clearly audible through the thin fabric of the tent hurt him more...enough to make Holler come out of the tent to nuzzle the dark-haired man and try to comfort John. Somehow, that made him feel even worse, even as he drew the dog close. Then again, the dark-eyed man thought, both dogs were well used to being the only emotional support Cassie had had for a long time. Holler was as used to doing this as Catchit was.

"It's okay, it makes sense, she's more important since she's your real kid." She shuddered then, fear thick so thick in the air that the alarmed man could smell it. "Please don't put me back on the beach. I won't bother Mr. Gage again, I promise."

"You weren't bothering him, he just misunderstood what you needed. He'll do better, I promise." Roy's arms tightened. "You're not going anywhere...and you are my real daughter because I said so. Your Mama and I asked for you, you know? We put in the paperwork just so we could keep you." He wished they'd brought a rocker on the trip...she needed one. Badly. It took him a long time to soothe her and settle her down...and by the end of it his heart was breaking. She seemed to think...how she'd gotten that nonsense into her head he wasn't sure, but she seemed to think that the reason Chris was hurt so bad was that she hadn't been fast enough to call the dogs...not that he was hurt because he'd messed with the cub to start with.

He'd sorted it, but it had taken a while to do so and then get her to sleep. "Your Uncle will be in after bit so you can cuddle while you sleep like you've been doing."

"Can I keep him, too?"

"Oh yeah. Johnny adores you."

"'Kay." She mumbled as she drifted off.

Both men had wet eyes when Roy left the tent, to look at John. "We hold her every day, for a good little while each time, without fail. From all of us, I'll tell Jo when we get home, but we can't do this to her again. She actually begged me not to put her back on that damned beach."

John was shocked. "Poor baby...we forgot her age and that a nine-year-old has a crazy wild imagination, that she's still pretty new to all this and that our reactions are still geared for two kids. We gotta fix that, fast, because her reactions are still set to 'worst case scenario'."

"Yeah, we do: Especially me."

TBC