Life Goes On

"Hey Chris, you're gonna have to find a new phrase, cuz 'bugnuts' doesn't make sense." Cassie told him from where the three kids were set up at John's kitchen table doing homework and other study projects, sighing over her 'research' papers. "See, look at these illustrations in The Big Book of Bugs and Insects, look here...those are the kinds of reproductive organs bugs and insects have...right, none of them have external nothing. They just don't have any external nuts. No bug has any, it's all packed inside their hard shells...so if you don't look it up how can you tell they have any testicles, what kind or where? And they wouldn't look like mammal nuts anyway. No skin for one thing since they're inside the bug. Just a weak membrane sac thing."

Chris looked it over and sighed. He wasn't going to argue with his sister. She was right, but he didn't want to try to explain it to her. "Right, no nuts to see on bugs. But what if it means their food?"

"Different bugs would each eat different kinds of nuts and not all bugs would eat nuts, so wouldn't you have to specify which bug and what nuts?" Crystal asked him. "That sounds like way too much work."

"Just change it to Pignuts, there's the testicles you can see and there's goobers and some sorts of ground nuts that could refer to, Crystal." Chris agreed, "But not anywhere near as many things, though."

"Or maybe we could help the bugs by supergluing fake nuts to them." Crystal suggested.

"That could work, I think." Cassie nodded. "Let's try it with some sort of tassel or something on them to make them flashy."

"Let's not, actually, kids." Roy drawled from the doorway where he'd come across a wonderfully stomach turning conversation. He didn't need his little princesses discussing testicles, even the ones bugs had. Especally flashy ones. "Having two pair would only confuse the poor bugs. Plus, if the outter shell doesn't look like it should, all the girl bugs would ignore them. How would that be fair?"

"Oh, yeah, I understand. It's like the way Meanie never gets any girls on the weeks when he looks weird." Chris nodded sagely. "So, we should only glue extra bits to the boy bugs which are only mostly normal, but which already have weird behavior stuff going on that makes you not really want them reproducing...so you can decide to be kind to the human race, and try to warn off the girls they're posing for.

"Like we've been doing with Chet and the stuff in his hair...or skin, or mustache, or whatever...on any given week." His twin nodded, referring to the more...cosmetic...pranks she and Cassie had lined up for Kelly.

Right now, he wore his helmet on runs, called for or not since he had a puce scalp and medium bright striped hair from a two-layer trick which made him do something that bleached his hair white first, then followed up with a pricklypear fruit based 'gel' hair tonic that promised 'wonderfully rich, dark shades' if slathered on thick and left on under a shower cap for two days. It had been fruit pulp, with the seeds removed and both salt and vinegar added for mordant, so the juice would be good dye.

Cassie wrinkled her little nose. "I'm glad we decided to use two mordants, cuz I really, really don't want that guy breeding. It had performed as promised, but Chet should've asked what color those 'wonderfully rich, dark shades' would be before using it."

Roy grinned at the reminder. "What did you use, anyway?"

"Pricky-pear fruit, skinnned and de-seeded and run through the food processor. Used a type writer to print a label that we glued to an old shampoo bottle...lather it on thick, put on showercap, leave there for 48 hours, remove cap, wash hair, comb, air dry and it'll come out a nice, dark, rich shade."

"Since it's got vinegar and salt, in it, for mordants, the juices will set the dye properties. Only thing is, salt sets the two warm color properties in the orange or red range and vinegar sets two different ones in the cold color range." Chris told his Father with a huge grin. "I saw the dried results, so he'll have the final results...red, pink, bluish-green and purple streaked hair for months."

"Could've avoided it," Crystal laughed. "COULD have asked which color the base fruit was. He just looked in the jar, said, 'Looks black, cool. Thanks kids, and headed for the showers."

"Seriously? What possessed him to leave that question out?"

"NO idea, he knew she was trying out dyes for cloth as well as hair. That was his own fault."

"He even put bleaching stripes on his mustache himself, thought the dark bluing was black too...didn't ask first to make sure." Cassie giggled.`

"In that case, he deserved it. Now, why don't you three clear this off and set the table for supper, shall we? And no more talking about insect testicles."

"Insect testicles?" John asked cautiously from the door. "Why would you need to be in any conversation involving something like that?" He sounded a little grossed out. "Aren't those internal to the bug that owns them? What the heck have you been playing with, Roy?"

The kids burst out in giggles. "Daddy won't let us use the Tassels to make bugnuts fancy." Crystal told her Uncle solemnly.

"Or put fake ones on the outsides so the poor bugs actually have something to show." Chris told him.

"So, now, I gotta make Chris say Pignuts instead of Bugnuts because Bugnuts doesn't make sense." Cassie told him. "Insults don't get good results if there's no decent mental image for the visual, everyone knows that. Pignuts are big, have hot nasty stuff in them and they're really full...if they're not little tubers which are edible and harmless."

"So, it's either something nasty or something bland and ignorable." The twins nodded.

Both of the men stared at Roy's kids. "Oh man, Roy..." John breathed.

"Yeeeah." Roy nodded. "It could take a while to sort."

"No kidding." Both men knew the kids were referring to Jo Anne, the recent divorce and the fact that the twins had used really crude terms to get the judge to promise they could stay with their dad. She'd been livid...and had shown that temper in front of the judge. And he'd ordered No Contact because of that, solidly agreeing with her ex husband that she wasn't safe to have around the kids.

"Hey, Holler proved his worth last night, C shift called, and said he made the paper again." John told his partner the next morning. He waved it as he sat down at the table, unfolding it and having a look. "Wow, tracked a lost toddler a good five miles through heavy brush during that big storm we were so glad we were off duty for, last night. Kid was wet and cold but they got to him in time." He looked at Roy. "What do think about getting him a mate, plus a couple more females for outcrossing males to? 51 hasn't lost anyone that dog has been needed to find, since he arrived at the station. And the training she paid for wasn't all that high cost, really, just super good. It makes that dog worth his weight in gold. Can't hurt to get and train more for other stations, as long as he and mate stay with us. Cassie said outcrossing with Plott hounds would be good. She said Plotts ain't got any 'give' in them, they keep going til it's done."

"Yeah. I think that's a good idea. That's the third time this year that dog has made the papers."

"Kids, are you sure about this float?" Marco wanted to know, pausing in the parking lot to eyeball the work suspciously. "It looks like a giant bug with big round balls on it."

"Yeah, we got custom made pullover rubber masks for them, for float day. We'll just get Papa Hank to staple them on. We're just situating the placements, today. Gonna look like heads."

"Okay, if cap agreed to help...so be it." He left them to it.

Cassie left the twins in the house and went look for Uncle John. He thought later it was a good thing he'd been alone...

"Mom! Where are...mom? There you are, you've been out here all day! Aren't you hungry yet, Mommy?"

"Mommy?" John croaked in shock as she grabbed his finger to pull him toward the house. He was still dazed when she dragged him into the house.

"John? You okay?" Roy asked him sharply.

"He started actin' weird when I called him for supper."

"Did he? Settle him in the arm chair and I'll look him over." Though Gage had about shaken off whatever had shocked him so much. He was still staring at Cassie.

"Cassie?" John drew her onto his lap. "We need to talk."

"Yes, Mommy?"

"Oh. I'd be a bit shocked too, in your shoes." Roy snorted.

"Tell me about it." John chuckled. "Sweetheart, find a male form for that for me, please? I'm not a woman and that is one of the words reserved for females."

"But...you said..." She'd been hurt by Jo Anne, but not really all that surprised. This had her in a near panic, she needed him. "Please, oh please don't go..."

"Whoa, calm down...I did. Oh yes, I did and I'm not going anywhere." That reaction shocked him too but his time he didn't let it show, supporting and soothing her instead. "And we are, your Dad and I, but I'm still male. So, it needs to reflect that, okay?" He explained to the now sniffling child. He got her turned about so he could his arms around the girl he'd just unexpectedly and unintentionally terrified. "Ssshhh, hush now: I didn't mean to scare you."

She shivered and snuffled into the side of his neck...and let him calm her down.

"She's only ever let me do that until now. Never let Jo get that close."

"Beach Person." She mumbled against Gage's neck. "She'd never get it. You get it. Daddy got it. I'll find something else to call you, but you're still my mommy where it counts."

John didn't argue, that was about the best he was going to get from her right now and he knew it. So did Roy, who had rejoined the twins, all three quietly sniggering at John as Roy started supper. Roy caught the looks the twins were passing and bit back laughter. "Dad, should I go get Cassie and Mommy for supper?" Chris asked, 30 minutes later, grinning at his Uncle's groan.

TBC