Oliver and Felicity went back to the mansion, after planning with John a simple patrol for tomorrow night. Felicity looked at Oliver and saw the joy on his face because he remembered his friends. She was happy that some of his memories had returned today but part of her, the part ruled by irrational fear, was worried that he would push her away once he gained back all of his memories. It made her wish that he would never remember who he really was because without the burden of being The Arrow, they could be together forever. She shook her head, realizing that she was letting herself be governed by her emotions. She shouldn't be selfish. Oliver had to remember that he was a hero and she would help him even if she had to lose the relationship that they have had for the past several weeks.
She knew that the city needed The Arrow and she knew that Oliver had strong feelings for her but she suspected that this lingering fear was not going to go anywhere until he had regained his memory. They went to the living room where they sat on the couch and Oliver put his across the back of the couch, caressing the hair of the woman he loved.
- Remembering some moments with John and Roy and finding Sarah who I thought was dead has motivated me to do everything I can to quickly remember the last two years.
- I am glad that it worked even partially... Your memories will come back and you will resume your crusade and I will be behind my computers to help you.
He caught her hand and laced their fingers together. He raised his face to hers and their eyes locked. Oliver knew Felicity was afraid that by the time he remembered, he would leave her. He didn't know how he could reassure her, to make her realize that by being the vigilante or not he'd always love her; he'd always want to spend his life with her.
Felicity feared that the inevitable would happen tomorrow. She feared that while he's on patrol with John, dressed as The Arrow, the adrenaline would make his memory return and their relationship would be over. She knew it was their last night together, so she wanted to to be close to his body, to hear the sound of his heart, to see in his eyes the desire he felt for her, because tomorrow his desire to have a relationship with her would disappear forever.
Feeling how troubled she was, Oliver drew her closer to him and pressed his mouth against hers, the kiss was sweet but he quickly became insistent. He pulled her closer by the waist and then lifted her into his lap wishing to feel her glued to his chest. He could feel her heartbeat in tempo with hers. Passion filled the air as he separated her lips with his tongue and she did not deny it. The moans they both emitted seemed only to push the other. Oliver pushed his hand under her shirt and stroked her back. While bringing her very close to his crotch, which had awakened, feeling the warmth of her intimacy against him. Reluctantly, he broke their kiss, keeping her away from him knowing that if they continued, he would lay her on that couch and make love to her.
- You were right, you know, about our relationship, he said, staring at her.
She felt her heart stop, the moment she had dreaded so much was there. This wonderful kiss had been a sweet goodbye on his part, proving to her that he felt something but that they could not be together. She bowed her head not wanting him to see the pain in her eyes. She stemmed her tears, at least until she was alone in her room, she thought. Crying over the ended love with the man she loved, but who did not want to be with her because of the risks due to his mission.
- Oh! You just realized you couldn't be Oliver Queen and The Arrow at the same time. That you can't or don't want to, have a relationship with me and save the city at the same time, she says, detaching herself from him.
- Felicity! I think I need to be clear with you, he replied.
- Now you understand why I didn't want us to start a relationship, because I knew what would happen, I knew I'd get hurt again. John was right, with your amnesia you weren't really lucid. Your memories came back and you realize you made a mistake and you are saying goodbye to me in the most beautiful way, I grant you that but it hurts me even more Oliver, she said.
- Felicity could you let me explain exactly what I meant? asked Oliver, rising in turn.
- I behaved like an idiot. I thought maybe you'd change your opinion... But I was wrong as always... I'm going to pack up and leave tomorrow.
She stopped speaking as Oliver laid his hands on her face, his fingers gently caressing her skin, and then he laid his mouth on hers tenderly, embracing her slowly, passionately as the kiss ignited the emotions he had kept tamed inside himself. Breathless he stopped the kiss laying his forehead against hers but continued to look at her as one of his hands moved towards her back and the other towards her shoulder. His eyes never left her gaze and he could easily see the fear and the sadness that was swirling inside of her. He lowered his mouth again towards hers.
As they kissed, Felicity's arms wrapped around his neck. Her fingers moving rapidly through his hair. 'I love you,' she thought, wanting so much to tell him. Oliver gently bit the skin on her neck, breathing in the intoxicating smell of her perfume as he left sweet kisses against her skin. He moved his lips to her chin, her cheeks, and then her lips looked for his own and his kiss became demanding. Full of all his love and all that he wanted to tell her. He tangled his fingers in her hair while the other slid along her back, gently caressing it through the fabric of her blouse. They parted. Oliver trembling with passion and Felicity with fear. She did not understand why he continued to kiss her in this way if he was about to announce their breakup.
- Stop telling me that it's all over by kissing me Oliver, the breakup will be more difficult for me, she says.
- You're wrong Felicity... About everything. You are wrong, he says firmly, not wanting her to leave him.
- I don't understand, she replied, lost.
- I had a memory in the foundry that made me realize that I was wrong from the beginning, he says.
- What did you remember? she asked with her voice trembling with sobs held in the back of her throat.
- With the life I lead I can't be with someone I could really care about, he repeated the sentence he had heard in his head.
- Yes, you said it after our rescue mission to free Lyla, the companion of Diggle, from a Russian prison.
- I remembered that moment earlier and it finally opened my eyes, he says.
- I understand don't worry Oliver, the city, the mission comes first, before us. Remembering those words made you understand what I was trying to explain to you from the beginning, when you wanted to start a relationship.
- Felicity!
- I'm not bitter or angry... during the last few weeks I have been lucky enough to be with you the way I've dreamed of for a long time but I knew it would only be temporary, she said.
- You don't understand my love! At that time, I uttered those words to keep you away from me apparently. And even if I don't understand that decision because of my amnesia... I know one thing now... I was an idiot. I should say thanks to my amnesia. It opened my eyes to what is important in life, he says.
- I know what's important to you, Oliver. The mission and your work as a vigilante is what's important, Felicity said, stroking her cheek.
- No!.. What's important is you...
- What!
- I only have partial memories of being that vigilante I saw in the articles and in my flashes. The mission to save the city is important, I don't deny it but you Felicity, our relationship is more important to me, he replied.
He stooped quickly and kissed her, enjoying the sensation of her mouth under his. He had remembered that moment with her, but he did not want to leave her, she was everything to him. After a few minutes of kissing, which he did not wish to stop. He untied his lips from her mouth and then locked his gaze with hers so she could see that he was not lying, that he would never leave her.
- Are you trying to tell me that our relationship is real, even if your memories are piling up in your head, you want to continue being with me? We are not breaking up? she asked.
- You don't know how important you are to me, Felicity. Of course I don't want to break up. I want our relationship to continue for a very long time, my love, he said.
He kissed her again, never tiring of tasting her lips, but when they were out of breath they parted again. He put his forehead against hers as he slipped his hand under her shirt and stroked her bare skin. He wanted to make love to her so much but would be patient. It made him think back to what he had remembered with Sara in the foundry.
- You are the strongest and bravest woman I know even though I still have holes in my memory, he says caressing her cheek.
- Why are you telling me that...? Although I'm very flattered by your compliment.
- You help me be the vigilante. You agreed when I didn't want to be with you. You agreed to see me with another woman and you've been helping me since I woke up from the explosion.
- Oliver, I did it simply because you are the man I... You are the man in whom I believe, she says.
He looked at her intensely wondering if she was going to confess to him that she loved him as much as he loved her. Then his eyes stopped on her lips. He lowered his head to kiss her tenderly. Every time Oliver kissed her, Felicity felt her heart start beating quickly while his soft lips consumed her.
She felt herself relaxing in his arms. The dizzying effect that the kiss had on her was surprising. She had had men in her life but no one had affected her in this way. While their lips danced with joy, Felicity lost control of all rational thought, she wanted it. She wanted him to make love to her but remembering that his memory had not come back entirely she used all of her strength to control herself.
- Hold on! She put her hand on his chest.
She felt his warm breath against her neck and then he looked at her with an intense gaze which could enchant her. It seemed to derail his thought of not going so far. She passed a finger over his lips and found herself going in for another kiss unable to resist the attraction that drew her like a moth to a flame. Oliver's arms still surrounded her body and their tongues were still dancing as they headed to the sofa. Miraculously, they did so without breaking the kiss or bumping into a piece of furniture.
He placed her on the couch, being careful not to crush her with his weight. The kiss became more ferocious. Their hands roamed each other's bodies gently, like this it was a natural act for them and that they had been together all their lives. They both stopped abruptly realizing that they had let themselves get carried away again. Oliver put his hands on his girlfriend's cheeks and put several butterfly kisses on her eyelids.
- I want you to be you but with all your memory before we go further Oliver, she says.
- I respect and understand your reasoning, but as soon as I kiss you it is hard to resist, he replied with a smile.
He rose with obvious reluctance. He wanted to continue to feel her curves under his body. He sat down again on the sofa and brought her closer to him. Felicity thanked him for understanding her, she felt quite happy to sit there and listen to him breathe. After several minutes without speaking it was Oliver who broke the silence that had settled between them.
- What about us going to my room and watching a movie?
- Oliver.. You have to tell me what you remembered so I can help you understand it in time.
- Other memories will come back tomorrow when I patrol with John and Roy, I'll have time to tell you about it, he said.
- All right.. Tomorrow you'll tell me what you remembered, she replied.
- I promise you, Felicity. What I need right now, after a day in the basement reminding me of my friends, of Tommy's death, of you. Is hugging you against me and falling asleep with my girlfriend.
Oliver anchored his look with hers. He wanted so much to tell her what she meant to him. He wanted to confess to her that he was in love with her. Felicity had been by his side since waking up. He had just learned that she had been with him in his work as a vigilante since almost the beginning of his crusade, as John called it. She was the one he wanted in his personal and professional life. She was the woman he wished to have in his life every day. The thought of that threatening voice that promised that he would kill the woman he loved had destabilized him since the first time he heard it.
He wanted to know who this man was. He knew that the trauma, he had been avoiding came from him. An event had to have happened causing the fear for his life and the fear of losing Felicity, he was certain of it. He realized that if he lost his love, he would not survive, he was sure. The pain came back to annoy him just because he thought of the nightmare that could happen. His brain wasn't ready to tell him about this event yet so it blocked it and activated the pain so he could stop thinking about it.
But it had gone on too long. To remember John, Roy, and Sara who was not dead, made him understand that he had to deal with this trauma now. Felicity was with him, alive and well, he had accepted his feelings for her, all he had to do was tell her. When he regains all his memories of being the vigilante he will do everything to prevent a tragedy from happening.
He knew that the only way was to relax, to accept and to let the trauma unfold. He had to finally leave the door open to his memory so that memories of that traumatic moment would resurface. He had to let himself remember who he had been for two years and he had to let his memories take their place in his head. He was willing to do anything to keep the love of his life by his side and to get his life back as a vigilante. Anything. Even fighting his demons.
############################
Oliver put the last dart in his armband and glanced at the green leather that covered his body. This was obviously designed for him. He was not compressed by the leather nor was he suffocating and every place the arrows were located was easy to access. He knew deep down that he had worn this costume hundreds of times. It did not seem strange to him to be dressed this way like he thought at first. He lifted the bow. He always felt at peace when he held it in his hands. He strapped the quiver behind his back without dropping a single arrow, which proved that even without memory the automatisms were still present. Finally, he pulled up the mask that he had placed around his neck. He took a deep breath before leaving the bathroom, wondering if Felicity would still be a little annoyed about him being out on the street tonight.
When he had woken up with the women he loved in his arms he had been the happiest man. He had enjoyed the moment of pure happiness wanting to wake up every morning in that way. After breakfast they had discussed the patrol for tonight and she had spoken of her reluctance to see him in the street jumping from roof to roof when his memories had only partially returned. Oliver was also unsure about all this, but it was the best plan that someone had proposed so far. He knew he had to at least try to get back out there and see if anything seemed familiar to unlock that last piece of memory related to his trauma. He knew that John, Sara and Roy would watch him. Letting him take command of the patrol, as Diggle had told him yesterday, but remaining in the shadows to rescue him at the slightest problem.
- Felicity! He said returning to the center of the foundry in costume.
She looked up from her computers hearing Oliver call her name. She took a deep breath and slowly released it, trying to calm her nerves. She had everything in place to monitor Oliver and his partners during their patrol. The only thing to do was to activate their coms. She picked up the earpiece that was on her desk, turned and walked up to the vigilante to give him the object that would help him know that nothing was happening to him.
- Do you feel good? she asked.
- Yes! No pain and I feel like I belong here. Wearing this suit and carrying this bow in my hand. This is who I am, he said.
Diggle, Sara and Roy were in the foundry standing near the big screen waiting for their friend so they could all leave. They understood his apprehension and the fact that he wanted reassurance from his girlfriend. Even John had accepted this relationship once having a conversation with Oliver when he and Felicity had arrived at the foundry two hours ago. Oliver watched Felicity come forward towards him, he could feel her fear for him.
He wasn't really worried about this patrol that he was about to undertake with his friends. He could defend himself, the altercation he had had with the two thugs was proof of that. What worried him was if his head started to hurt during patrol and if he got injured would that cause him to lose all the progress he had made since yesterday. He knew that John, Roy or Sara would be there to rescue him if he was in trouble.
His biggest fear was going out into the street, getting hit and not remembering anything. He did not want to forget his friends again, but above all else he did not want to forget the woman he loved. His Felicity. After giving him the headset, Felicity went to sit behind her computers again. She knew that if she stayed in front of him, she would ask him not to go. She would ask him to take more time until he was sure he was ready.
- When you get on your bike before you put on your helmet you turn it on. Each headset is connected to each other but also to me, who stays in the foundry to guide you, she says without even looking at him.
She looked again at her keyboard, typing commands so she could have her eyes and ears on them. He did not move from behind her seat and she let out a slight sigh. She turned the chair to face him. She had always had faith in Oliver's ability to be the vigilante but now she didn't know if he could take on that role with his memory loss. John had reassured her that being the Arrow was innate to him. He had trained for five years on the island to become a weapon. It was not something he could lose because his memory was missing. Oliver slipped the communication device into his ear and drew his hood.
- Don't do it Oliver, she said, rising and crossing her arms on her chest.
- Felicity! I have to overcome this mental blockage and you know there's no better solution than to get back to my vigilante routine, he said as he pushed his hood down.
- I know that but...
- I have to go out with John and Roy. Don't be angry that I made this decision despite your reluctance, he said, putting his hands on her shoulders.
- I'm not angry that you're going on patrol, I'm worried and scared, she said.
- That I might get hurt, that I might lose my memory again?
- Yes, she replied.
- I have the same apprehension baby ... I don't want to forget what's going on between us, as a couple, as partners, he says.
Felicity nodded and Oliver stroked her arms before wrapping his own around her waist. He pulled her body against his as he raised his other hand to caress her face. He bent down and kissed her tenderly.
- I just need you to trust me and believe in my ability to be the vigilante even with my failing memory. I knew how to fight and shoot arrows before I got back to Starling City. Tonight everything will be fine, he said.
She nodded and held out her hand to caress her cheek, simultaneously Oliver did the same thing then bent his head down, their faces just a few centimetres from each other. They did not seem to be able to break eye contact and slowly they moved towards each other, magnetically attracted, their lips meeting finally. Oliver took her face in his hands and opened his lips, his tongue plunged inside and tasted her warmth.
For many long moments he held her captive, finally after a while, he released her and the two looked at each other with love. Felicity put her hand on his chest listening to his fast-beating heart. She passed her hands through his hair then around his neck to pull him towards her. They kissed for what seemed like an eternity before a cough made them separate. Placing one last kiss on his lips, she recoiled and went to sit at the desk and caught his gaze when he put his hood back up ready to go with their friends hoping to surely come back to remember everything.
- I trust you, Oliver. I've always trusted you from day one. Just be careful, she said, sending him what she hoped was an encouraging smile.
- I promise you baby, he said.
She watched him leave the foundry through the back door with his partners, following him with her eyes. Hoping that it would be a routine patrol for him and that it could finally unlock what is preventing him from fully remembering the last pieces of his memory. She was confident that everything would be fine with their relationship, no longer afraid that he would leave her.
Sara was on a roof watching Oliver throw his grappling arrow towards the building that housed one of the city's largest banks and swinging down to the sidewalk in front where John and Roy were already. He had lost none of his skills as a vigilante. They had all been able to see it when they stopped an assault about ten minutes ago. Oliver had managed to disarm the two men in a matter of seconds with no doubt of the movements he was making, feeling no fear in front of the assailants.
They had been on the street with Roy and Diggle for half an hour now. They had stopped an assault and a drug exchange. They were currently heading to an ongoing bank robbery that Felicity had picked up through the police scanner. There was a robbery at the National Starling Bank. Oliver loved the adrenaline of patrolling the city and helping the innocent people who were being attacked by unscrupulous people. Nothing had come back to him yet, but he admitted to John, his best friend, that being a vigilante again was quite exhilarating.
His body seemed to know what to do even though his mind was not yet there. It was good to blame his frustrations on the bad guys for a change, instead of blaming them on his inability to remember. It gave him the impression of being the same as before, even if his memory had not yet come back completely . They arrived at the bank, ready to save the innocent. He raised his hand and pressed the communication device under his hood.
- Felicity we are all in a position to intervene, tell me how many people you see inside, he says, his synchronized voice making him smile for a moment.
- I managed to hack into the bank's cameras, there are three armed men, one towards the counter, two in the safe room with the manager, and a security guard on the ground, she said as her fingers moved on the keyboard quickly.
- Thanks darling, he replied.
He turned to his partners and gave them instructions. Diggle and Roy would come in from the front to disarm the man who was alone and help the wounded security guard. He and Sara would come from the back to surprise the men in the trunk. Oliver walked to the back of the building and pulled a sleight of hand from inside his glove.
- Felicity I need you to make sure the security system is disabled, He asked.
- It's done, she said, finishing typing the controls on her keyboard.
Oliver signalled to Sara that they would enter in three seconds. He informed Diggle and Roy to do the same on their own. He lowered his fingers one by one, then opened the door and crept silently into the bank. He was able to see one of the two men from the safe walking around with large sports bags. He could see the manager on the ground bleeding from the head. He beckoned Sara to take care of the man while he was taking care of the first robber.
Oliver moved quickly, grabbing the guy from behind and fixing his gloved hand over his mouth before he had a chance to warn his companion who was still filling other bags inside the safe. The man struggled, but Oliver kept his hand over his mouth as he pulled an arrow out of his glove and placed it in the man's shoulder, his body shuddered and Oliver put him on the ground.
He got up and walked silently along the wall towards the safe. He glanced quickly to see where the other man was in the room. Since, his back was to the door he didn't notice the archer's entrance which was perfect the vigilante thought. As he slowly advanced to surprise the robber, the robber turned pointing his gun at Oliver. Without even thinking, Oliver pulled an arrow out of his quiver and shot the thief's hand to disarm him. Then he threw a small tranquilizing arrow into his shoulder before the other man was able to make a move. The robber collapsed to the ground immediately.
- Felicity everything is secure, you can send in the cavalry, he says.
Oliver tied the two men with ties and went to join his partners in the bank lobby where they had taken care of the thief and reassured the customers and employees. He glanced into the room and saw that everyone seemed to be fine as well as the manager Sara had brought in. He warned them that Felicity had already contacted Sergeant Lance, who was on his way, so it was time to make their exit.
He did not bother to wait to see if his partners were following him before leaving the bank knowing that they were right behind him.
Oliver heard the police sirens. He fired a grappling arrow at the roof of one of the buildings and darted into the air like a reborn phoenix. When he touched the ground, he closed his eyes for a moment, feeling the adrenaline rushing through his veins, and he had to admit that he was proud of what he had achieved this evening with his partners. He realized that he missed these moments of being vigilante, even though no memories had come back tonight, it was gratifying to help the people of Starling City and make the streets a little safer for the innocent people of the city.
- You really handled things, Oliver. For a vigilante with no memory, you did all the right things and helped people tonight, Diggle said in his earpiece.
- I didn't realize how much I missed it, John, even though I didn't manage to unlock the last piece of the mystery of my trauma. Thanks for proposing this plan and for having confidence in me, he replied.
- Your memories will come back Oliver don't worry, says his friend.
- Does that mean we can count on you to come with us every night to patrol? Roy asked
- Probably, because I want to remember completely those two years of my life with you, he said.
Oliver now wanted to find his girlfriend and hug her. He knew that she had been near him in his ear all night, the leader during the patrol, worrying about him. He felt a tingling in his head, he knew he was going to have a memory - Stay focused, please. I'll be with you the entire time. Thanks. It feels really good having you inside me and by you I mean your voice and by me I mean my ear. I'm going to stop talking, right now. That would be my preference. - Oliver smiled at the memory, Felicity always had a tendency to say what she thought even if it was sexual innuendos, he loved her babbling. He realized that he was remembering more and more moments between them.
- I think it's good for tonight. Go home, I'll join Felicity at the foundry, he said.
They all wished him good night. The whole night had gone well, thought Oliver. He had remembered all of the skills he had learned on the island, in Hong Kong and in Russia.
Also, he had proved that he could physically do all the things he had been able to do before. He took an arrow from his quiver, inserted it into his bow and fired it at the wall of the opposite building. He watched the arrow move towards the building, landing exactly where he had directed it.
It took him less than ten minutes to return to Verdant by motorbike, which he parked behind the closed nightclub. Looking at the sign a new memory entered in his head. - What do you think, a hot place to turn it into a nightclub? Great, but I'll tell you something, mate if you think we're calling it Queens I'm not sure you'll attract the clientele you want. My personal office. For private one-on-one appointments I guess, tell me you're sure you want to do this because you have no experience in managing. -
It was when he decided to open Verdant with his best friend Tommy, he missed it. Several more memories with Tommy after his return passed through his head. Tommy would have wanted to be present to meet the woman who had seen Oliver, as he is now, the former playboy turned vigilante.