A/N: When I was writing the outline for this story… I got to this point and thought I wanted to end it the way Never Be Sorry starts. Then I started that, changed my mind, and you'll probably like the notified ending better!

11 Weeks Old

"Welcome back ma'am!" Blake greeted her cheerily off the elevator.

"Thank you, Blake." She responded emotionlessly while taking the coffee out of his hand that he offered her after he greeted her.

"President Dalton has asked that you join him for lunch and a quick update with the deputy secretary, Jay has blocked off most of your afternoon to bring you up to speed on things you may have missed, and the March of Dimes is expecting your response to their request for you to be the keynote speaker at their gala next month." Blake informed her as he followed her into her office.

"What time is lunch scheduled for?" She asked, walking behind her desk, a desk she hadn't seen in almost three months. A desk she didn't expect to miss the way she did.

She put her bag on the floor and slowly put her hand on the top of her chair. The leather was cold but still seemed so welcoming. She pulled the chair out and slowly took a seat, realizing she wasn't sure if she had heard Blake respond or not.

"Ma'am." He said pulling her out of her thoughts. When he knew he had her attention again, he answered her question. "Lunch is scheduled for 11:30."

"Can you push that back to noon?" She asked in return. "Karmen will be here with Layla at 11:00."

"Yes ma'am." Blake answered. He began to walk out the door but stopped himself just short and turned around. His change in behavior pulled her attention to him.

"Blake?" She questioned his change in behavior.

"Good to have you back, ma'am." He told her.

The gesture brought a smile to her face as she drew her attention back to the numerous memos that had been left on her desk. Blake left her office as she took a moment to draw it all back in. Over the last year, her staff had been amazing. Though she had missed a lot and would continue to miss more while this office was hers, she was thankful for it and the people who supported her in it.

Being Secretary of State had provided her with a lot of perks, the ability to travel the world - even if it was for strictly business related purposes. She was able to use the skills she had spent so much of her life developing. Now, she was able to do what she hadn't been able to do before - attempt to balance newborn motherhood and continue to grow her career.

With Stevie, Aly, and Jason, she had to choose: hands on newborn and infant stages or hands on career growth. She knew the privilege in her position, in her ability to have the support of her position and colleagues, to allow her to have both and she made a promise to herself that it would be something she would fight for all women to have.

A soft knock at her office door pulled her out of her thoughts and she saw Matt at the doorway.

"Good morning ma'am!" He greeted her walking in. "Great to have you back!"

"Thank you, Matt! Good to be back, so far!" She told him with a smile. She really was happy to be back. "What have you got for me?"

"Well, I know you haven't made up your mind on the March of Dimes invitation but I put a couple of ideas together, just wanted to get these in front of you." He told her, handing her a manilla folder.

"Thank you, Matt." She took the folders and placed them to the side. She hadn't made up her mind on the whole thing yet. There were many reasons why people would think she wouldn't accept the offer but it had nothing to do with what most of them were thinking - it was much more simple than that. She wasn't sure if she was ready to talk about it.

The Vanity Fair interview hadn't really focused on Layla's birth or her time in the NICU. She hadn't really opened up to anyone about the feelings that came with it. For the past nearly three months, she had held the guilt she was feeling inside.

She still felt so guilty that she didn't get to hold Layla right after she was born. All the research that she had done about the benefit of skin to skin contact after birth, all the plans she had… never happened.

There was nothing in the world that could ever change how she felt the first night she spent at home while her daughter was in the NICU. Words would never describe how it felt to receive a phone call that something could be majorly wrong with your child and there was nothing you could do. While she wanted to be a voice and a shoulder for mothers in her same place, she wasn't sure if she was ready to be that emotionally vulnerable yet.

Matt watched her place the folders to the side and stare at them for a few seconds. He wasn't sure if or when to interrupt her thoughts but he finally mustered up the courage to break the silence.

"Ma'am?" He asked pulling her out of her thoughts and back to her current physical space.

"Yea… sorry, still adjusting to being back." She responded quickly.

"No problem, I totally understand!" While she appreciated his empathy, he didn't understand. Very few people could understand.

There was no other person who would ever understand the big change she was currently experiencing. The transition from maternity leave to returning Secretary of State.

"Thanks, Matt." She replied. She figured a thank you was the best response. She would pull her emotions in for now.

Before Matt could reply, Blake entered the room. "Ma'am, Russell Jackson is on line one for you."

"Thanks, Blake." She told him, quickly picking up the phone. "Good morning, Russell!" She spoke into the phone as Blake and Matt left her office.

"Does she seem… off to you?" Matt asked Blake as they walked out of the secretary's office.

"What do you mean?" Blake returned.

"I don't know… something just seems off." Matt answered.

"I think she's just adjusting back into her role." Blake replied. "She hasn't really been 100% in MSec mode for months."

"Yea I guess that's it." Matt accepted Blake's answer only because they had arrived at Blake's desk. Matt continued on to his office as Blake took a seat and answered the ringing phone.

Just as Blake hung up from the first call, he answered another one. A call from Elizabeth asking him to come into her office. He quickly headed towards her office, unsure of what was awaiting him on the other side.

"Good morning ma'am." He greeted her again as he walked into her office.

He was met by her back as she was staring out the windows behind her desk. She turned around once he had finished greeting her and began walking closer to her.

"Can you get my motorcade? I've got to go meet President Dalton in the oval." She requested.

"Yes ma'am." He answered.

She remained standing, fumbling through some files on her desk, not yet noticing that Blake hadn't left her office.

"Ma'am, I'm sorry if this is inappropriate but, is everything ok?" He went extremely raw and took a huge risk asking but after everything that had happened, he felt their relationship and their team had felt more like a family than ever before.

"Yea" she answered quickly, trying to portray a 'perfectly fine' demeanor. "Just adjusting to being back!" She finished her answer with a smile.

"Yes ma'am, please let me know if there's anything I can do." He told her before going back to his desk.

She sat back down at her desk, taking a moment to gather herself. She knew balancing having an infant again and going back to work wouldn't be easy but she didn't imagine it would be this emotionally hard already.

After taking just a second to decompress, she put on her coat and grabbed her bag before heading downstairs to the garage and getting into her motorcade.

Her meeting with Russell was short but short rarely meant positive and she wasn't exceptionally happy with the outcome. In the few conversations they had while she was out, it had been decided that she was to travel as little as possible for the next few months but promises weren't always kept by Russell and she prepared herself to travel to Cleveland.

She arrived back at her office and quickly went into a staff meeting to discuss her schedule. She had 20 minutes before Karmen was supposed to arrive with Layla which meant a lot to discuss and decide before then.

Karmen was at the McCord house, completely unaware of the quick shifts that would be happening to her schedule over the next few days. She knew travel would be a part of this job but Cleveland wasn't really on her bucket list of places to visit.

She made sure she had everything she would need for the short outing, Layla's diaper bag contained all the necessary items and she was bundled up, ready to be put in her carseat. Karmen placed the baby in her carseat, strapped her in, and headed out the door into the waiting car.

Her attention was focused on the child, which was to be expected, so she did not see the man slightly to her left taking pictures of the young woman and the child. She didn't have a full detail, just a driver and an agent so it quickly slipped under their radar.

Once Karman arrived at the secretary's office, she was quickly ushered to the seventh floor. Blake greeted her quickly once she got off the elevator - she was right on time and he was excited to prove he could handle having a baby in the office.

"Good morning, Karmen!" He greeted her just as the elevator door opened.

"Good morning!" She replied, looking around at the office.

Blake took his attention to the baby in the car seat as he bent down to take a look at Layla. "Ahhh she looks so peaceful!"

"Yea a ride in a car will do that to babies!" Karmen told him.

He stood back up to be at Karmen's level again. He wasn't sure what to respond with so he put a smile back on and informed Karmen that Elizabeth was waiting in her office and proceeded to show her there.

He opened the door and the sound and movement pulled Elizabeth out of the work she was doing and pulled her attention to the movement.

"Ma'am…" He began but stopped when he saw she was already walking around her desk to greet them.

"Thanks, Blake!" She told him as he stepped out of the way and Karmen entered her office. "Hi Karmen!"

"Hello ma'am!" She matched the greeting.

"How is she today?" Elizabeth asked, walking toward Layla in her carseat that Karmen was still holding.

"She's good! She ate all of her breakfast, did a few minutes of tummy time, and had just woken up from a nap when we left." Karmen told her, sitting the carseat on the ground so Elizabeth could get the baby out of it.

As soon as she sat the carseat down, Elizabeth unbuckled Layla and picked her up out of the carseat. She pulled her close to her chest and gave her a kiss on the forehead. She laid her on her shoulder and noticed Layla had began to stir.

"Wow! You've already had such a big day!" Elizabeth said to the baby as she began waking up and started to whine a bit. Elizabeth walked back behind her desk and shifted the baby in her arms.

This is going to be a new normal… one that she would be happy to adjust to.