It was Sunday evening. The family had just finished their family dinner and were resting in the living room. The television was set to a Jets game. Danny, Jamie and Frank had their eyes glued to the screen watching every play carefully. Henry sat in his favorite chair reading the paper. Sean and Jack were playing with legos on the floor. Nicki and Linda were discussing clothes. Erin was dozing off with her head on her brother's shoulder. All was well with the Reagans.
An interception during the game caused the three men watching it to start yelling at the tv startling almost everyone in the room. Once the yelling had died down Danny looks over at Erin who was amazingly still asleep.
"I can't believe she slept through you yelling right in her ear." Jamie says.
Nicki looks at her slumbering mother.
"I'm not surprised." Nicki says. "Last night we went to a movie. She fell asleep not long in and somehow slept through gunshots, sirens, yelling and car crashes."
That got Frank's attention.
"Was last night a first time thing for her?" He asks Nicki.
"No. She's been sleeping a lot more lately. I think she fell asleep at work a few days ago. She didn't say it outright but she came home with her eyes looking like they had sleep in them." Nicki says.
While the others continued watching the game Frank was reflecting back on the last few weeks with Erin. She had seemed more tired the last few times he saw. He had assumed her job was wearing her out. He had also noticed at the last few family dinners she really didn't each much. He knew she had a tendency not to eat if she was stressed. She had assured him that she was okay and wasn't too stressed. Now she had slept right through her brother's screaming right next to her ear. Erin had never been a very heavy sleeper. It only seemed to happen when she was really tired. He hadn't seen her this tired since her divorce but this time she seemed more tired than she was then.
Frank having a very organized mind. Something his daughter inherited from him he was sure. He put all these observations in a list. First she just seemed tired and bags were starting to show under her eyes. Then came the picking at her food and only eating a few bites. Then she slept through a loud movie. Now tonight she had slept through Danny's shouting. Something that even he had trouble doing. He knew all these on their own were not good but added together he had a feeling in his gut something wasn't right but he couldn't put his finger on it.
As the game came to an end the family started to go their separate ways. Jamie took off towards his apartment. Linda got the boys jackets on. Danny looks at his sleeping sister on his shoulder.
"I don't want to wake her." Danny says.
"She and Nicki can stay here tonight." Frank offers. "I'll take her upstairs so you don't wake her up."
Danny nods as his father easily picks up Erin. Carefully cradling her in his arms he takes her up to her old bedroom.
While Frank took his daughter upstairs Nicki says goodbye to Danny and Linda. After the good nights Nicki goes back to the living room where Henry was still in his chair.
"Hey stringbean." He welcomes her. "I hear you're staying here tonight."
"Yeah." She says. "Mom has been pretty tired lately. She could use the extra sleep. Maybe it'll help her feel better."
"Feel better?" He asks her.
"For the last couple of days Mom seemed like she didn't feel well. She hasn't been hungry. She's been tired like she was tonight. And her hands have been shaking. Almost like tremors. It's not constant but it's still there time to time." She tells him.
"Alright stringbean." Henry says. "It's time for bed."
"Okay Pop." Nicki says. "Good night."
The thirteen year old went up the stairs passing Frank on the way. He plops a kiss on her heads as she went up to bed.
Frank made his way back to the living room where Henry was. He sits in his chair and picks up his scotch glass.
"Is she still out?" Henry asks.
"Like a light." Frank says. "I'm worried about her."
"Let's let her sleep and see if she feels better tomorrow. From what Nicki tells me she may be fighting off the flu." Henry tells Frank.
Very late that night Erin was looking through a cabinet searching for something. Frank heard the noise and went to investigate. He found his only daughter looking through the medicine cabinet.
"Is everything okay, sweetheart?" He asks her.
"It feels like someone is using a jackhammer on my skull." Erin says not looking at him.
Frank steps into the bathroom. He reaches over her shoulder and picks up a little blue bottle. He hands it to her. She mumbled a thank you and tried to open the bottle. Frank noticed that her hands were shaking as she tried to open the bottle. He could see her getting increasingly frustrated.
"Here." Frank says taking the bottle. "Let me."
As Frank opened the lid to the blue bottle he heard a sniff from his daughter. He looked up to see tears welling in Erin's eyes. Without a moment's hesitation he pulls his little girl into his arms.
"What's wrong sweetheart?" He asks her.
"My head hurts so bad." She says into his chest. "This is so embarrassing. I'm grown woman crying over a headache into my father."
"It okay honey. I hope you know that you can get as old as you want but you'll always be my baby. You're in pain. Crying is only natural." He says trying to soothe her.
He helps her take the pain killer. He carefully holds the water glass to her lips as she drank. He could feel her body shaking against him.
She closes her eyes to try and block out the light. She felt her father pick her up. She didn't try to fight even though she was very embarrassed. She was a grown woman and her father was carrying them bed like she was a little girl. She felt him put her in her bed. She feels the blanket being put on her followed by her father kissing her head. Before she knew it she was back asleep.
Very early the next morning Erin was up and around. She had on her running clothes and was tightening her sneakers. She felt better than she did the night before. The house suddenly felt small to her. She needed some air. Linda had asked her about going running the day before. It was exactly what Erin needed even if her head still hurt.
Pouring herself a cup of coffee she looks at the clock.
5:15am. Linda would be there in a few minutes. Erin sips her coffee in the empty kitchen. The night before she hadn't eaten much and now that she thought about it she still wasn't hungry. She knew she should try to eat something after her run. The door opening she closing took her from her thoughts. Linda enters the kitchen.
"Hey Erin. Do you feel any better?" She asks.
"Yeah." Erin tells her. "A little."
Erin knew that was a lie. She felt more tired than she did the day before.
"Danny football shouted right in your ear last night and you slept right through it." Linda tells her.
"I've just been tired the last couple of days. Work has been piling up on me and it's just taking it out of me." Erin tells her.
"Are you sure you're up to this?" Linda asks. "Say the word and we can just sit here drinking coffee."
"I'm fine." Erin says. "Really."
Linda seemed to be okay with this answer. The two of them walked out the house she started jogging down the road. They make it the corner and out to the main road. It was early so there wasn't many cars on the road. Their conversation quickly turned to me as it usually did.
"You know what you should try?" Linda says.
"What's that?" Erin asks.
"Speed dating." Linda tells her.
Erin was taken aback by her answer. She immediately tells her no.
"I'll tell you what. You see that hydrant down there? If I can beat you there, you have to try speed dating." Linda challengers her.
"You're on." Erin says with a smile. "If I win you do family dinners for a month."
The two women start running down the icy sidewalk. Erin's vision started to blur around the edges as her head began throb. The hydrant started looking blurry. Suddenly her vision seemed to turn sideways as something cold hit her face. It dawns on her she was now on something cold and flat. She can hear someone calling her. She can't understand the. They sound far away and almost like they were under water. She could see a black outline of a person enter her vision.
Linda had passed Erin up in the race. She glanced back at her sister in law just in time to see her collapse. She watched in horror as Erin's head came in contact with the asphalt which made a cracking noise. Linda ran as fast as she could to Erin. She drops to her knees beside her.
"Erin come on talk to me." Linda says.
When she got no response she grabbed her cell phone. Quickly dialing 911 she did everything she could for Erin. She tells the operator where they were and what what Erin's symptoms were. An ambulance was in route. She quickly dialed another number. She knew of all people Erin would want her father with her. Taking a deep breathe she listens to the phone ring.
On the second ring Frank picks up. She didn't even give him the chance to speak.
"Frank, it's Linda. Erin collapsed on our run. She hit her head and isn't responding." Linda tells him as tears fill her eyes.
That's all Frank needed to hear. Not even bothering to put on proper clothes Frank races to where Linda said they were. He could hear sirens getting closer. Turning the corner he saw Linda kneeling beside Erin, crying. He runs to her side.
As soon as he knelt by Erin the ambulance pulled up to them. Paramedics jumped out of the back. They pulled a stretcher up and quickly got to work. Frank watched as they put a c-collar on his baby. He watched powerless as they carefully lifted her onto a spinal board. They used to Velcro straps to immobilize her. One paramedic placed an oxygen mask on her face.
"On the count of three." One paramedic says to the others.
When they reached three they lifted the spinal board onto the stretcher. They life her inside the ambulance.
"Dad." Erin gasped out.
Frank realized his hand was still holding hers as they climbed into the ambulance. He looks at his baby looking so broken on the stretcher. He gets a sinking feeling he could have done something
When the ambulance reached the hospital then quickly pulled her out and whisked her inside. She felt her father's grip loosen on her hand. That made her begin to panic.
"Dad." She manages to gasp out. "Stay."
"I'm right here." He assures her. "I'm not going anywhere. I promise."
As they rolled her into the emergency department Frank was forced to let go of her hand as they took her away. He watched ,feeling useless, as they too her through two big double doors.
"Grandpa!" A little voice called from behind him.
He turned around to see his thirteen year old granddaughter running toward him. He could see tears on the girl's face. He scoops her up into his arms.
"What happened to my Mom?" Nicki asks. "Will she be okay?"
Frank didn't have an answer for her. He wanted to know those very same answers. The rest of the Reagan family came in behind Nicki.
"Linda told us what happened." Danny said hugging his dad and niece.
The family goes to the waiting room. There was nothing left to do but wait.
The waiting was agonizing. Nicki kept staring at her hands. She often squeezed them into balls when the was scared. She could feel her fingernails digging into her palm. Her mother had to be okay. She just had to be. Nicki looks up at her grandfather who was staring at nothing. In his hands was Erin's scarf. The paramedics had removed when they stabilized her head and neck.
Frank looked over at Nicky. Rising from his chair he goes over to Nicky. Taking a seat by her he takes the scarf and puts it on Nicki's neck. For a moment Nicki was comforted by the scarf. It smelled like her mother. In its stitching Nicki could pick up the scent of her mother's perfume. A smell that was comforting. Her mother never used a lot of perfume so when Nicki could smell it, it meant her mother was holding her close. The feeling of her mother being close to her briefly helped her a relax just a little. Her attention was pulled away by a doctor entering the waiting room.
"Is she okay?" Danny asks.
"The fall caused a slight concussion." He tells them.
"That's not too bad." Jamie says.
"I'd like to talk to you for a moment Mr. Reagan." The doctor says to Frank.
The two men step into another room.
"I thought you said she just had a concussion." Frank says.
"That's not the concerning part." The doctor continues. "Her blood work came back. Her initial prognosis looks to be Leukemia. We need a bone marrow sample to confirm the diagnosis but it's very likely she will be diagnosed."
"What are you telling me, Doc." Frank asks although one part of him already knew.
"To put it in layman's terms." The doctor says. "Erin has cancer."