She was walking down a long corridor. For the life of her, she couldn't remember how she ended up there in the first place.
She raised a hand in front of her face but saw nothing. Engulfed in a sea of black, she was was sure she was going to drown. She flailed around trying to swim up to the surface but her feet remained planted on the cold, tile flooring.
After a few moments, she saw a red light form some distance away. She started towards it but hesitated. There was something ominous about it, but she could see nothing else. Steadily, she walked closer to the crimson glow.
She stopped just in front of the light. Studying it up close, she could make out the shape of a woman's back. Feeling more confident, she spoke.
"Excuse me miss, but I'm not sure where I am," she told the woman's back. Mama always told her to ask an adult for help if she got lost.
The woman didn't respond.
Becoming slightly desperate, she tapped the woman on her shoulder. Father said it was rude to poke other people to get their attention, but she couldn't think of another way to get the woman to notice her.
Slowly, the woman turned to face her. It was mama! For a moment she was relieved until she realized mama wasn't glowing after all. She was completely covered in a thick, red substance.
Blood.
Her heart skipped a beat and her eyes filled with tears. Mama opened her mouth and an anguished scream flew out…
Talia woke up gasping, her checks wet. It was the same nightmare that had plagued her for months now, ever since mama died.
Father wouldn't tell her what happened to mama, so Talia could only assume it was something horrible. Something even her father believed was too gruesome for her to hear. After all, her ninth birthday was less than two months away. Father said she was too old to be coddled anymore.
Father also had no tolerance for crying, especially over such trivial things as dreams.
Mama always made her feel better after a nightmare. She would let Talia stay in her bed for the rest of the night, and would snuggle her and sing sweet lullabies until she calmed down enough to fall back asleep. This would have angered father had he been aware it was happening.
"You know it wasn't real. It is absolutely ridiculous to get so hysterical because of a dream," he had growled at Talia the last time she'd been startled awake by a nightmare. Without thinking, she had ran into father's room and woke him. She should have realized he wouldn't comfort her as mama once did.
Talia hugged her pillow. She attempted to sleep again but gave up after a few minutes. She could hear rain beating down on the roof and wondered if it would last through the next day. Sometimes, when the weather was nice, she and her tutor would sit outside for her daily lessons. They would still be dreadfully boring, but at least she would get to enjoy the fresh air instead of being stuck in the musty library.
When she had first come to live at father's home, she was thrilled to learn he had his own library. She loved stories, especially fairy tales. She was extremely disappointed to learn that almost none of father's books were works of fiction, and the few that were "are definitely not meant for children." Or at least that's what her tutor had told her.
Before mama's death, Talia had never even visited father's house. She actually didn't know father all that well up until a few months ago.
She and mama had always lived in their little house. Deep in the woods, she and mama had no neighbors. There also wasn't a school close by, so mama was Talia's teacher.
"Your education thus far has been outstandingly inadequate," her tutor told her at the start of their second lesson. During the first, all he did was make Talia take tests. They lasted for hours. Apparently she didn't do very well.
Talia disagreed with her tutor though. Mama had been the best teacher. She was the one who taught Talia how to read and write, cook, sew, dance, and sing.
When father visited, he would bring them supplies. Food, clothing, reading material. But Talia hated the books he gave her. None of them were fairy tales, Talia's favorite stories. She and mama never had to buy things for themselves because of father's gifts, but once a month, she and mama would walk three miles each way to the nearest store. Mama would use the money father said was for "emergencies" to buy Talia the kind of books she wanted to read. Sometimes she would even have enough to buy Talia a toy.
Back when she still lived with mama, Talia felt guilty that her favorite toy was a doll father bought her, the only plaything she'd ever received from him. It was hard for mama to save the money to buy Talia the few toys she had. Father, Talia had realized at a young age, was rich. He could buy Talia all the toys he the world, but she only ever got the one doll from him.
Talia used to not know that father was her father. She thought he was just the man who brought them things. She believed everyone lived alone with just their mama and had a man who brought them things. On her fourth birthday though, father had gave her Lilah and told her to her he was her father.
The patter of the rain grew faster and louder and she began to get nervous. She shook as she heard a clap of thunder. Thunder made her uneasy. Shortly after, she saw a flash of blue where her curtains parted and she threw her blanket over her head and squeezed her eyes shut. Lightening terrified her. Father found her fear that lightening bolts could break through her window and electrocute her to be very childish.
Hesitantly, she got out from under her covers and crawled across her mattress towards the chest that sat at the end of her bed. She opened the lid as quietly as she could and retrieved Lilah. Lilah wasn't supposed to sleep in her bed because she was made of porcelain. Mama said Talia might knock her off the bed in her sleep and break her. Father said that a girl her age shouldn't rely on the prescience of an inanimate object for comfort.
Talia settled back under the warmth of her comforter. She made sure to tuck Lilah in and hug her tight so that she wouldn't also be frightened by the storm. The moonlight shining through the window illuminated the doll's face.
Father had obviously chosen to buy her because of her likeness to Talia. As a result of this resemblance, Talia would always pretend Lilah was her sister. Lilah's green eyes were the exact shade of Talia's, and their hair was also the same black color. Still, Lilah's skin was a paler shade than Talia's, and her hair was also much curlier than Talia's slight waves. Talia remembered mentioning this to mama who luckily knew of a way to make Talia's hair more like Lilah's.
After Talia's nightly bath, mama would roll her wet hair using strips of fabric cut from clothing Talia had outgrown. Once her hair was dry, would remove the fabric strips. Like magic, the fabric transformed Talia's hair into the same pin rolls that framed the face of her beautiful doll. Mama would even tie back the front of Talia's hair with a pink ribbon so that she matched Lilah completely. Talia now ran her fingers through the natural wave of her hair and regretted not trying to learn how to roll her hair herself while mama was still alive.
Thinking of mama was only further upsetting Talia. The grief she felt coupled with her fear of the continuing storm caused tears to roll down her checks. She allowed herself to sob silently during this moment, even though she usually did her best not cry because she knew it would anger father. She wished mama would appear to comfort her. She lost track of how many times she'd made that wish since mama's death.
She looked at Lilah. The doll really did look so much like Talia had when mama was still alive: black curls, a pink ribbon, and a soft smile. Looking in the mirror recently, Talia realized she now looked much more like mama than Lilah. She naturally possessed mama's tan skin, wide eyes, long hair, and facial features. She wasn't upset that she didn't have a photo of mama because saw her mother's face every time she looked at herself.
Talia was not sure why, but she decided to pretend that she was mama and that Lilah was her. She stroked Lilah's curls and softly sung the lullaby mama would sing to her after she had a nightmare. It worked for a moment, and Talia felt almost peaceful.
In fact, she would have even fallen back asleep if father hadn't heard her.
He burst through the bedroom door and pulled Talia from her bed.
"What are you doing awake at this hour, it's the middle of the night?!" He screamed.
Talia trembled.
"I had another nightmare and then I was scared by the storm," she answered him softly.
Without saying another word, father grabbed her arm and dragged her out of her room and down the hallway. Talia was too frightened to ask where he was taking her.
They reached the door to the courtyard and father pushed her outside.
"You will remain out here for the rest of the night so that you learn how irrational it is to be afraid of rain," he told her before retreating back inside.
Talia knew there was no use arguing with him. She was calm for a brief moment. She was completely in the dark and wouldn't have been able to tell she was outside if it were not for the rain drops gently hitting her skin. The worst of the storm had passed, and there wasn't any more thunder or lightning that night.
Still, Talia quickly grew cold. She was only wearing a thin nightgown. She was able to make out the outline of the door as her eyes adjusted to the darkness. She pulled on the handle until she realized father had locked her out.
She stood by the door for about an hour. Her body became so cold that she began to shiver uncontrollably. She curled into a ball and rubbed her arms but it did very little to warm her up. She desperately tried to stop crying as she noticed that her tears were freezing to her face.
Finally, she remembered the tablecloth that decorated the main table at the center of the courtyard. She hoped that the tablecloth wasn't taken in for the night. Thankfully it wasn't, and the big umbrella that covered the table had also been left open so that cloth was mostly dry. Talia carefully removed it from the table and wrapped it around herself. Then she crawled under the table so that she could lay down on the dry ground beneath it.
She was still cold, but the protection of the table cloth was at least able to lessen her shivering.
With dismay, her thoughts turned to Lilah. She was terrified that father would have noticed the doll in her bed. She was nervous that father would get rid of Lilah while she was trapped outside. Talia wondered if Lilah would miss her the same way she missed mama.
Out of sheen exhaustion, Talia was soon able to fall asleep. The sun began to rise shortly after, further warming her. The rain stopped completely by the time Talia awoke.
She was still freezing, her nightgown damp and cold. Nevertheless, she still made sure to neatly put back the table cloth before trying the door. She was thrilled to find it unlocked and she hurried inside.
Father was nowhere to be seen, so Talia quietly returned to her room. She was relieved to see Lilah resting against the pillows on her bed. She also saw that someone had made the bed and laid out clean clothing for her. Talia noticed a note that had been placed beside the clothes.
I am proud to see that you were able to face your fear of thunderstorms. Take a warm bath and get dressed. Then meet me in the dining room for breakfast. ~ father
Talia kissed Lilah on her head and then made her way to the bathroom. She was pleased to discover that her bath had already been drawn for her. As she settled into the warm water, she decided that father must love her after all.
Still, whenever she was scared after that night, Talia would only dare to sing mother's lullaby in her imagination.
To be continued.