Disclaimer: I do not own Madam Secretary or Buffy the Vampire Slayer.
A/N: This idea has been stuck in my head for a while and I decided to just go with it. Enjoy!
"Aunt Faith!" Alison shouts excitedly when she opens the door to find her cool aunt, who is not actually related by blood but might as well be, standing there in leather pants with a red tank top and leather jacket in some awesome thigh high boots.
"Whatsup A," is Faith casual reply as she stalks into the house and looks around, "cool place ya got here."
"Faith!" Buffy Summers, now known as Elizabeth McCord, exclaims as she jumps on Faith, tackling her into a hug.
"Wow B, chill it's only been like three months since we've seen each other," Faith laughs.
"Yeah but this is the first time you've come to DC and you haven't seen the kids in ages," pouts Buffy.
"Where are J and S?" Faith asks, "and that boytoy of yours?"
"They're already sitting down for dinner, feel like joining us?" Buffy asks her sister slayer.
"I never say no to free food and entertainment," Faith responds.
As they walk into the dining room Buffy announces Faith's presence with a simple, "Look who decided to drop by!"
"Aunt Faith!" Stevie and Jason shout.
"J, S, boytoy. Good to see you," Faith smiles.
"Nice to see you too, Faith," Henry answers.
They catch up on everything that has happened since Faith last saw them over dinner and by the time dessert comes out Faith can't hold it in anymore.
"Oh, it's too much, B! They're just like you! The apple really doesn't fall far from the tree!" Faith breaks off into cackling laughter as the rest of the table stares at her.
"I know…I don't know how my mom put up with it," Buffy groaned.
"Wait what do you mean?" Stevie asked confused, "I thought mom was always a perfect goody two shoes."
At that, Faith burst out laughing and Buffy cringed.
"B! Ha! Honestly, she was probably way worse than any of you could ever be," Faith continued, laughing.
"Faith!" Buffy exclaimed.
"What? It's true! I doubt any of them sneak out every single night or do half of what you used to," Faith justified her previous statement with a significant look to Buffy to imply the slayer stuff (after all none of her kids have burned down a gym or disappeared after stabbing their boyfriend and being wanted by the police for a completely different murder).
"I can't even begin to imagine mom sneaking out," Stevie remarks.
"How are we like our mom though?" Jason asks.
"Well I guess I'll start with Ali," Faith begins, "Ali, your mom was totally into fashion and probably had a hundred pairs of shoes, it seems like you've got her fashion sense. Your mom was also really involved in school activities and popular. Leaving her first high school and all her old friends was not something she enjoyed, so you have that in common. Of course, she was a cheerleader until she burned down that gym, so you're not exactly like her. You're more of a nice and popular girl, she was more mean Queen Bee until she switched to weird, hot, social outcast in Sunnyhell."
"Mom was a cheerleader?" Ali asks, amazed.
"And a mean popular cheerleader specifically?" continues Stevie.
"What do you mean she burned down a gym?" questions Jason.
"I was the typical popularity obsessed cheerleader when I went to school in LA but when I transferred to Sunnydale, I kept my love of fashion but not my social butterfly and Queen Bee status. I even spent a ton of time in the library. Although I am relatively sure everyone still around from my class would know who I am. The reason I transferred to Sunnydale in the first place though, was because I burned down Hemery's gym, but there were extenuating circumstances and that's all I am going to say on the matter also none of you should ever try to burn down a gym," Buffy explains to her kids and Henry rests his hand on her thigh to support her.
"Alright, you can ask more questions at the end, cause you're definitely gonna have more when I'm done. J or S next?" Faith moves the conversation along.
"Me," Jason speaks up first.
"Ok then, Jason McCord, son of Henry and Elizabeth McCord, Elizabeth McCord who was only ever called Buffy in her teenage years. B's one and only son inherited her tendency to get expelled and her hate of the government—"
"Wait what our Secretary of State mother got expelled and was an anarchist too?" Jason interrupts Faith.
"You better believe it," Faith confirms before explaining to the confused children, "Burning down a school gym tends to get one expelled as I'm sure you can imagine. But Jason one way you differ from your mother is the fact that you've only been expelled once. B over here was expelled not once, but twice. The second time was only briefly though because when B disappeared after her friend was killed the principal, who hated her by the way, told the police that she murdered her; however, when witnesses came forward and said it wasn't her, he had to repeal the expulsion," everyone except Buffy just gaped at Faith as she continued, "And as for the anarchist thing, well I don't know if I would go as far as to say she was an anarchist she just really hated politicians and the military."
"The military babe?" Henry asks, slightly offended.
"I just had a bad experience with one particular military group and that tainted my view of the entire United States military. Obviously, I've gotten over that for the most part," Buffy replied.
"Her ex, Riley, was part of a really problematic black ops group and it wasn't a particularly good break up, definitely not her worst break up but well it would have had to be really, really, bad to beat that," Faith expands on Buffy's reply.
Stevie joins the conversation, "so, the politician used to hate politicians?"
"That's just because the mayor of Sunnydale was so incredibly evil and the entire city's government was corrupt," Buffy quickly follows this up with a "sorry Faith, I know you liked him."
"I'm over that. Angel managed to get through to me that he was just taking advantage of the bad place I was in in my life."
"Angel, Elizabeth's first love?" Henry follows up.
Faith answers, "Yeah, that's him. That was after stuff with him and B was completely over, I actually just saw him and Spike and Connor up in New York. They were seeing a Broadway show, can you believe it?"
"Really?" Buffy asks incredulously.
"Spike, your other ex-boyfriend?" Henry asks.
"Yeah, Spike and Angel have hung out together for so long, it's like they're always together. And Connor is Angel's son," Buffy answers this time.
"He has a son?" Henry asks, confused because he was fairly certain vampires couldn't have children.
"Yeah, he went back to the girl he dated before me briefly and Connor happened," Buffy explains, making eye contact to signal she'll explain more later.
"Sorry you dated a guy named Spike and a guy named Angel?" Jason cuts in.
"And a guy named Pike," Faith eagerly adds.
"I had weird taste in men, we get it," Buffy tries to end the conversation.
Faith takes the opportunity to get back to her original observations; "And that takes us to what B's passed on to her firstborn. Stevie shares B's looks obviously, her attraction to older men, and that whole dropping out of college thing—"
"You hypocrite! You made such a big deal about me dropping out of college and then dating an older guy and you did the same thing!" Stevie yells.
"I dropped out of college to care for my sick mother and when she died, I had to look after Dawn, it was not the same thing. And I knew from experience that dating older men does not work out and I wanted to save you from making my mistakes," Buffy struggles to explain herself.
"The age difference for you, B, was much bigger than Stevie's though, you gotta give her that," chimes Faith as Buffy glares at her.
"How many of your oddly named boyfriends were older than you?" Stevie asks.
"Pike was her age. Riley was four years older than her and he was by far the next smallest age gap," Faith answers and everyone digests this information for a minute.
"So, basically, mom was a mean cheerleader problem-child dropout rebellious teenager who had bad taste in men?" Alison sums up the night's revelations.
"And so much more."