1

He was tired, the expression dog tired coming to mind as he tried the back door of the house, looking around furtively as he checked he was not being followed yet again. Two nights ago he had found someone on his trial, taking extra precautions and even now that he was sure he was alone …but ya know… a man has be listen to that inner screaming right?

The door was locked but he made short work of it, popping it easily and slipping inside as his dog followed him with a flick of her fuzzy tail before he secured the and pulled the chair from the hallway against the door, forcing it under the handle to once more secure the house.

An old chair. Wooden with a soft material arse bit. Cushion? Seat. Sorry. Tired. It had been placed by the hallway table so the homeowner could sit on there to remove their shoes, several of which were lines up. The empty space reassured Ianto that the owner of the house was not here, the boots missing means the owner left during a rain storm? When had it last rained? Four? Was it four nights ago?

Ianto removed the dog's booties and muzzle, then sat back and thought that through. Yes, it had been raining on and off the first few days of last week. Good. Yes, he felt safe enough to venture into the house now, creeping from room to room with catlike stealth until he was now positive that he was the only one here. The fridge was opened and closed quickly with alarm as the contents were no longer for human consumption… or anything consumption really. So… gone longer than a week or so.

He tiptoed up the stairs, finding a kiddie gate at the top that was pushed to one side like it had been that way for ages. Probably a family member that visited with a kid? Clearly from the boxes pushed against it and the little pile of books, it was unused.

Still.

Ianto closed it carefully, placing several books precariously on the top of it as the dog watched. Anyone come up here in the night and… bang. Right?

He then checked the upstairs rooms again, still alone but still nervy. He chose the room at the end of the hallway, the fires escape checked before he decided he had to sleep whether he liked it or not. He broke out some jerky, sharing with the dog. He settled on the bed, trying to ignore the stale smell of the bedding, the dog choosing the end of the bed with his head on his master's feet.

After an hour or more of laying there in the darkness listening for those books to topple, Ianto finally slept.

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SEVEN DAYS PRIOR

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"Lisa, I mean it!" Ianto bellowed as he pulled at sofa cushions, muttering and checking again with his hands in the cracks.

"I swear to god Ianto, you lose those fucking keys at least once a week and they are always…" Lisa scolded as she exited the bedroom naked apart from the killer heels she was trying on, reaching into the fruit bowl "... right where I put them!"

"But you put them in a different place each time!" Ianto rose to snatch as them and she held them away from him laughing. She was as tall as him with long slender arms that made it a real task to reach those keys so he reached out and flicked her nipple, making her yelp and instinctively cover her breasts.

"Thank you" he snatched the keys as he also stole a kiss and she gaped at him before she started to laugh.

He barely made it to the underground parking area in time for work, his spot take by Melvin the Cuntface again and Ianto's mood soured more as he was forced to park farther way from the employee doors.

"Jones! You're late!" Melvin Cuntface roared as Ianto entered the main sales floor and Ianto glared at him with a look of annoyance.

"Actually, I have five more minutes until I officially start as per my contract Melvin. You know I like to get here early. Would have been even earlier but some cunt stole my parking space" Ianto said with a much vigour as he could, everyone agreeing that was terrible as Melvin could either own up or pretend it was not him. "Might get it towed!"

Ianto half-pie wished tonight would be the night the prick complained to HR and finally admitted he was the one taking Ianto's park each night but he knew that would not happen.

Cunt.

Ianto decided he really liked that word. Cunt. He watched Melvin clock out and head home. Yeah. Their shifts overlapped by half an hour, long enough to piss Ianto off. It was another half hour before it happened, the crash of the display case as Harry slipped from the ladder he was not supposed to be on, landing on the case then sending it tumbling over onto Ianto who yelped with shock and pain. The display of crystal animals had gone off like gunshots as they hit the tile floor, the superficial cuts Ianto suffered were more from shrapnel as the bits bounced back up.

Ianto was not badly hurt, just bruised and embarrassed more than anything. Still Harry was horribly embarrassed as well and it was with annoyance that their shift leader told Ianto and Harry to both go home, the area was closed until the morning crew could clean up all the smashed glass.

Ianto drove home with such a feeling of annoyance that he was grinding his teeth. God, this is so… Ianto stomped the brakes as he stared at the car up his driveway in his fucking parking space.

Yeah.

Melvin Cuntface" Ianto said with wonder. He got out of the car and walked up the driveway and around the side of the house to the backyard where he got to stand in the garden watching his girlfriend deep throat the man that made his life hell.

Those new killer heels were for him?

The sprinklers came on and Ianto grumbled as he we turned to leave the garden only to find his dog sitting there by the gate ready to go with him.

"Myfanwy? What are you doing out here in the dark?" Ianto crooned, kneeling to remember Melvin complaining of dog fur on his uniform, allergic. Right.

"Come on love" Ianto took her to the car and out of the rain, then returned to the house and boldly entered via the back door, walking through the kitchenette as the two Cuntfaces fucked like rabbits on the coffee table Ianto got from IKEA… hope it breaks… unaware of a third person in the house.

He gathered what he needed, wanted and what he knew she would really be pissed about.

He left just as calmly and as he passed Melvin's' car he heisted long enough to key CUNTFACE on the bonnet.

Felt good.