Day 6

Jackie

San Diego, California

Valerie's San Diego List

Summer 1975

Get from point A to point B

Have a night to forget - DONE

Swim out to a new place - DONE

Go parasailing

Get incredibly lucky - DONE

Have a bonfire on the beach

Find the key

"I love you" - DONE

9 AM

From the second I wake up, I can feel the stark contrast between today and every other day of this trip so far: I'd woken up warm and snuggled in Steven's arms, unable to feel a care in the world as long as he was holding me. But today, I woke up in the spare room impossibly cold and alone despite the eighty degree heat. As I open my eyes, the feeling of dread becomes a full blown ache: Steven. How dare he casually admit he'd love to suck another girl's face off when he can't even tell a face as pretty as mine he loves it? I'm beginning to think this is never going to work. As sweet and heroic as he can be at the best of times, when he's my Steven, I'm not sure if he even wants to be with me when any other slut in a biker jacket is within a thirty mile radius. I just can't deal with this anymore. I might as well just go back to bed. I-

"Jackie! Jackie! Jackie! They have real koalas at the San Diego Zoo!" Fez bounds into the room without knocking like an overly excited golden retriever, chocolate still on his face from breakfast.

If looks could kill, I'd be on trial for murdering him. "Fez, please leave and don't come back for two weeks" I groan through the pillows.

I can't see his face, but I can picture it immediately falling. "Oh, lovely Jackie, who did this to you?"

"I'm fine" I groan until the reality sets in. "What, do I have something on my face too?" I ask, terrified of his response. What a horrible morning!

He shrugs from above me. "Well, they all say, doing it with Old Boy is just the thing-"

But he doesn't get to finish, because Steven bounds into the room in one motion and grabs him by the shirt.

"Fez, would ya knock it off for once?"

I groan, mostly at my heart softening and the smile forming on my face. Steven has the most annoying way of being a total ass and then inching his way back into my good graces by being uncharacteristically caring. But I'm not falling for it. Not right now.

Without moving my face so he can see my tears of hurt, I reply as breezily as if I'd been reading Vogue in his lap, "Don't worry, Fez and I were just getting ready to go to the zoo".

He gives me a weird look.

"But thanks" I can't resist adding genuinely. God. Who does he think he is, protecting me from Fez?

"Really?" I can hear Fez lighting up. "Oh, this is just my lucky day! Cute animals and Jackie!"

Steven socks him for good measure, and as mad as I am, I can't help but smile.

"Jackie. Can we just...talk for a second?". I can hear him losing his patience. I'd kept away from him all last night, brushing away his lame attempts at apology and half assed (no, more like quarter assed) stand-in expressions of how he loved me. All without coming close to using the word, of course. I can tell now that he's sick of not being the injured party, that it won't be long before he's more mad at me for not immediately forgiving him without a true apology than I am at him for screwing up again. As much as I love him, I can't just do this again. He's worth a lot, but I don't know if he's worth lusting over other girls and getting mad at ME for not immediately understanding. Tears well up in my eyes, and I'm thankful for the pillow covering them.

I sigh. "Steven, no. If you'll excuse me, I have to look my cutest for the zoo".

"Fine. Suit yourself" he replies passive aggressively, slamming the door a little behind him.

I brush my hair and put on a summery face of makeup to counteract the icy feelings in my heart, grabbing a floral top and jean skirt to wear with little heeled sandals and flowery perfume to match. There. I'll make Steven sorry he ever went on a date with me on that Veterans Day so long ago.

10 AM

As I make my way through the kitchen getting ready to leave, grabbing a muffin on the way, I realize Eric is in there alone, staring far off into the distance. Oh my god. I've hit peak selfish this time. Maybe come halfway to overdoing this caring about me more than others thing. In the heat of my conflicts with Steven, I'd totally forgotten about Donna. Of course we hadn't found her at the beach last night, and so Eric had retreated inside himself, seeming to give up on finding her despite Steven's eyerolls at his lack of masculinity. Long story short, this would require me to be nice to him. Ew.

"Eric"

"Go away" he mumbles without turning his head to look at me.

"Look. I think I might have made a mistake".

"Jackie, the time is never for your stupid rainbow-and-unicorn life mistakes and you asking my advice, but ESPECIALLY NOT NOW!"

I groan, swallowing my pride. "Yeah. That's why I'm here. In all my sadness about Steven, I totally wasn't thinking about Donna. And obviously I deserve better than you, but it made me think. And I decided even you don't deserve to go through this". I pat his shoulder reassuringly.

"And the circle gets the square" he mumbles.

"Eric! I'm trying to help you out! Look, just cause we didn't find her last night at the beach doesn't mean she's gone forever! As a shrill girl with a bossy voice, I'm demanding you to get your butt off this chair and go back right now! Go back to the record store and see if you can find any more photos of that house Midge was at! Or I don't care, just do something to get your girlfriend back!"

He finally looks up at me, shocked, like what I have to say is finally reaching him. "Jackie, we both know I'm not the most capable-"

I roll my eyes. "Oh, we all know they're right but go prove Steven and your dad wrong for once. Look. I told Fez I'd go to the zoo with him to make Steven jealous but because I'm feeling extra generous today, I'll even go with you instead".

He gives me a mock happy expression. "Oh, this sounds like the day I've always dreamed of!"

I stare at him expectantly. "Yeah, that's a no" he adds.

I fight back the slight hurt I feel (God! I was trying to help him out!) when I notice Steven watching from the doorway. Perfect.

"Oh, Steven can go!"

"Jackie…"

'Let me talk. Steven, why don't you show someone you care for once and get Eric out of this hideous state?"

"I'm not gonna do that just to make you feel better" he says, waggling a finger at me.

"Okay, show him you DON'T care!".

Eric throws his hands up. "I'm not getting dragged into the middle of your creepy and unnatural argument"

He begins to get up. "No!" Steven and I say at once, and I can't resist smiling as we stare at each other, shocked. Of course he cares about Eric.

Luckily, Michael rushes in at that moment.

"I'm been meaning to show you guys this! Found it at the beach when Fez and I were making sand castles and then got too wasted to remember. But trust me, this is a pretty sweet treasure I found" he snickers happily.

Oh my god. "Michael. I swear if it's a picture with Midge's face on it…"

He nods obliviously, putting a photo on the table in front of Eric. I realize immediately it's of the same house that was in the picture we found a few days ago, but in this one, young Midge and Donna are in front. And the house number is clearly visible. Why couldn't he have given this to Eric yesterday when he was looking for her at the beach? Maybe the house is near there!

"Awww, yeah. Almost as young and hot as Donna. Wait-speaking of Donna, this could totally help find her! Win win!"

But Steven has a very different reaction. "Look, you dillhole, I wasn't shocked at all when you got in trouble for asking your homeroom teacher to get it on with you behind the gym. Not even when you tried to put Fez's mini toaster in the toaster oven. But damn, can't you ever get a fucking clue?" He socks him in the arm for good measure.

If I wasn't mad at him, this would be so sexy. It is sexy, but he's still a jerk that can't admit how he feels about me, the most beautiful girl in Point Place. God. Moments like this are when I realize why I went for Steven after Michael. Okay, bad thought to be having now.

"Jeez, Hyde. I was just trying to help". He shrugs, looking like he wants to laugh.

"Hmm, seems like this help would have been useful YESTERDAY" I tell him.

Steven sighs. "Alright, well we have the photo now and it confirms a lot. Forman, come on, next time you pass out moping at the kitchen table I'm gonna have to put ya in a dress. Let's go find her. We'll be back by 3 PM to report".

Eric doesn't protest, and they make their way out the door.

1 PM

San Diego Zoo

Fez and I sit in the back of the wildlife safari, watching the smelly giraffes and elephants grow larger and larger in a large field lined with mountains. I cough as dust from the trail fills my mouth, my eyes boring holes into the ground.

"Fez! I'm gonna ruin my new shirt and it'll be all your fault!" I exclaim, crossing my arms over my chest with a glare at him for good measure as the colorful flowers on my shirt seem to become muted from the dust.

"Someone is in an extra bad mood today" he replies, turning his head away from me.

I roll my eyes. "Fez, pretty girls don't go on these types of rides!"

He looks skeptical. "Oh, but they do in all the magazines. I think somebody has some-he pauses dramatically-relationship issues".

I pout. "It's just that...Steven is a great boyfriend. Sometimes. He'll protect me from anything, he's taught me so much, and it just takes a pouty face to get him to go to cheerleading events with me. But when it comes down to admitting how he feels about me….god, I bet even Eric would be better at that!"

"Aw, Jackie, you know who will never hesitate to make you feel like the princess you are?" He grins at me.

"Fez, not now! Look, you have good taste in clothes and all, but I love STEVEN. And I just...don't really know if he feels the same way" I admit.

He sighs, resigned. "Has he ever told you he loves you?"

"Well, once, but it was only after he cheated on me when he was trying to get me to forgive him"

"Jackie, he would not say that if he didn't love you!"

"Huh?"

"He had to choose between losing you and admitting he loves you, and guess which option he chose? It is obvious"

I sigh. He has a point, but that doesn't mean that his one expression of his love for me wasn't selfish.

"I'm Jackie Burkhart! My boyfriend should be shouting his love for me from the hillsides on a weekly basis, not awkwardly expressing it once after cheating on me!" I realize that the people in front of us on the safari, two uggos with ratty hair, have been sneaking glances at me but I don't care.

"Oh, my sweet Jackie. That much is obvious. But we all know how much Hyde loves you. Who else would he shave his beard for? Go to school dances with? Not to mention go to jail for? He's a different person around you. Hyde used to teach me everything and I've barely seen him since you have gotten back together with him!"

My mouth curls in a half smile, but I will the tears to not spring up. Obviously I only care about ruining my mascara, but still. "I know. It'd just be nice to hear it too once in a while".

"Oh, he will. He's lucky to have a girl like you. Come on, give Fez a hug". He pops half of a Snickers bar into his mouth, giving the other half to me.

"Thanks, Fez". And I hug him back, touched and a bit surprised by his no-strings-attached kindness.

6 PM

San Diego Zoo

The zoo is closing, and my feet hurt as we follow a throng of people making their way to the exit. Fez trails behind me, blue cotton candy lining the corners of his mouth. It's been a better day than I expected, full of cute bunnies like the ones Daddy used to buy me back when we had money and flamingoes almost as majestic as me. But the heels on my sandals are going to wear away like Mom's natural hair did if we don't leave soon, and I'm ready to call it a night despite the prospect of facing Steven. I just hope they found Donna.

All of a sudden, Fez pipes up. "Jackie! We didn't see the koalas!"

Ugh. I just want to leave. "Fez...the zoo is closing…."

He pouts, and I feel a twinge of guilt when I remember how nice he was to me on the safari.

"All right, we'll look around for ten minutes. But I'm flirting with the security guards and blaming it on you if you we get caught".

He runs ahead triumphantly.

6:15 PM

San Diego Zoo

"Jackie! Over here!" Fez shout-whispers from up ahead. Almost everyone has left by now, and it's getting eerily quiet as the sun sinks behind the mountains in the distance.

I walk as fast as my shoes will allow, half-worried he's found something other than the koalas.

But sure enough, koalas scamper up and down the trees in the exhibit in front of Fez, tall grasses covering the ground. Orange sunlight casts a mystical glow over the whole scene. I get a better glimpse of the koala as it runs down the tree. Its ears stick out massively, and its nose takes up half its face. It looks at us with a curious expression similar to the one I have when I hear some juicy gossip.

"Fez. They're beautiful" I breathe. He nods. "I just love baby animals".

Suddenly we hear voices in the distance talking about those DAMN VISITORS and this FUCKING JOB.

"Let's get out of here" he whispers. We dart around the corner toward the exit, laughing nervously with the thrill of getting away with something questionable. I shake away the feeling that Steven would be proud.

7 PM

"Good thing Rachel's family didn't need this car" I remark, gesturing at the Ford they left for us that Fez is currently driving home.

He nods as her house becomes visible in the distance. "Without this, we would have no chance of finding Donna".

Donna. The twinge of dread I've been feeling since we lingered at the zoo grows. It's only been a few days, but I feel like I haven't seen her in forever.

And then it becomes a thousand times worse when Michael runs up to the car, his hair disheveled. "Jackie! Fez! Eric and Hyde still aren't back yet!"

My heart plummets to the ground.