The end of this chapter is rated M
All it took was one text that said My place. Tomorrow. Urgent. for Musa's friends to gather without proper planning. Timmy, accompanied by Tecna, had come earlier than the rest to check the cameras in the apartment. He and Riven had decided the safest course of action was to try to stop the stalker from knowing they were onto the hack. Musa's laptop would still be used for mindless things like Netflix, and she'd still text her friends from her old phone, but only for, once again, mindless things. Any personal information, even something as simple as what she was doing on a day off, was to be kept to the new phone.
Musa and Tecna were in the living room setting up Musa's new phone and manually transferring all the documents from the old one. Timmy had set himself up in the kitchen, papers and gadgets that baffled Riven spread out over the counter, island, and kitchen table. Timmy was trying to explain what he was in the process of doing with the security systems but Riven understood very little of it. There was, he thought, a better chance of him being able to learn how to play one of the many instruments Musa had within a week than of him understanding the ridiculously technical terms that Timmy was using.
Once everyone else had arrived, they piled into the living room taking over every surface. Timmy had forced everyone to leave their phones in a basket which he then stuck outside on the patio. His handwritten note had caused a lot of confusion, but everyone had obliged without question.
Riven took a seat beside Musa on the floor. It seemed that ever since the realisation of his feelings had hit him like a train less than 18 hours ago, he was hyper conscious of her and of himself around her. He'd turned into a young teen experiencing their very first major crush; he became tongue tied, spent way too much time looking at her, and, God help him, blushed when she'd hugged him in excitement after her performance last night.
Timmy calmly explained the situation, fielding questions like the expert he was. Riven had always hated public speaking even when he knew what he was talking about or when he was comfortable with the group he was speaking to, but Timmy – shy, awkward Timmy – seemed to be fine, even thrive. Several people – Stella chief among them – spoke up, outraged that this creep would do something so disgusting as to violate her privacy.
"Believe me, that's far from the most disgusting of it" Riven commented before he could think better of it. Beside him, Musa shuddered momentarily. He found himself reaching for her and placing his hand reassuringly on the small of her back. The movement only clicked in his head when his pinky brushed her skin where the back of her shirt had lifted. It amazed him that such little contact could send such an electrifying strike through him, making it feel like his senses had been dulled until that very moment. He slowly forced himself to remove his hand from her, panic that she would think it was weird for him to touch her settling in.
"Are the letters that bad?" Bloom asked softly, her baby blue eyes brimming with concern.
"I stopped reading them" Musa shrugged, trying – and failing – to seem casual about it.
"So... yes?"
"OKAY!" Stella interrupted loudly, clapping her hands like she was trying to get the attention of a bunch of toddlers. "This took a very depressing turn, so let's not go there, shall we?"
"Sorry" Bloom mumbled under her breath. Stella brushed her off, declaring that their energy was much better spent on an impromptu pool party than the creep that had thrown Musa's life out of balance. The blonde quickly stripped off her loose summer dress and ran up the stairs, shouting at the girls that if they weren't upstairs in bathing suits in five minutes, she would drag them up.
"I didn't realise we had to bring our bathing suits."
"Same..." Aisha agreed with Tecna's statement.
"Did she not tell you to bring bathing suits?" Brandon questioned with a chuckle. "It's Stella; you should know she'd never pass up an opportunity to sunbathe."
The girls laughed in agreement, eventually settling on sucking it up and swimming in their underwear. Soon everyone except Riven and Nabu had wandered up, the latter having requested the formers help with getting snacks and drinks. Musa, Tecna and Timmy had offered to help, but Nabu had insisted he and Riven were fine. Riven wasn't so sure.
"How the fuck do you think we're going to carry snacks, beer and wine up for ten people by ourselves?" Riven grumbled following Nabu into the kitchen.
"We'll figure it out" Nabu shrugged, making himself at home and reaching into Musa's pantry to see what he could find. "First though," he said, opening a bag of chips from the top shelf and popping one in his mouth, "we need to talk about the touching."
"What?"
"Cause you, my friend, are not an affectionate person, yet he-"
"I have no idea what you're talking about" Riven cut him off brusquely. He leaned into the fridge, avoiding Nabu's incredulous gaze. He knew he wasn't an affectionate person; he never had been. That wasn't to say he didn't like affection. Quite the contrary: he loved it. He just wasn't really the best at giving it.
"Is that so? Cause in our how-many-years of friendship-"
"Seven."
"- Seven years of friendship, you have hugged me exactly twice" Nabu finished, closing the pantry door behind him. He'd pulled out multiple bags of chips and packs of candy and was staring at them apprehensively. "Maybe we should order pizza or something..."
"I've hugged you more than twice."
"No. No you haven't. The first time was when you moved out of our dumpy apartment and the second was last year on my birthday. I made a big deal out of it both times, and both times you threatened to punch me and, and I quote, 'break my pretty face'."
He remembered. Nabu had called him his best friend that night. Maybe it was that he was feeling sentimental because Flora had just left or maybe it was because he was drunk but Riven had been moved to near tears by the statement. Besides Flora, he'd never been anyone's best friend before. He'd been an awkward and angry child, and most people had stayed as far from him as they possibly could.
"But here you are, caressing and comforting her and you've only known her, what, two months not even..."
Riven tried to change the subject, bringing up the idea of ordering pizza again. Nabu ignored it. He approached Riven, watching him with scrutiny. Riven stared him down, trying his hardest not to seem on edge as Nabu analyzed him. His eyes begged to look away, but that would be a dead giveaway. Not that staring him down made any difference as Nabu exclaimed You like her! in an excited whisper.
"I don't" Riven replied before Nabu had even finished his statement as if that didn't completely give him away.
"Right" Nabu scoffed. "There's no point in lying. I know you too well."
"Fine! Yes! Happy?" He wanted to knock the smugness off Nabu's face. Teenage Riven would have punched him in the face and knocked him on his ass, but adult Riven was better than that. Instead, he turned his attention to the 24 pack of beer he'd placed on the counter. It was already opened so Riven used the extra space for a bottle of white wine.
"Don't be so sour, man. I think it's great; Musa would be good for you." Nabu laughed at the irritated look Riven was sporting as he came up behind the bodyguard and threw his arm around Riven's shoulders. "And, yeah, maybe I'm extra happy about it cause I called it the very first time I saw the two of you together."
"Fuck off" Riven grumbled as he picked up the case. "Put those chips in one of the reusable bags in the pantry and grab a few glasses of wine."
Nabu followed him up the stairs and onto the terrace. Bloom, Aisha, Sky and Brandon had made themselves comfortable in the pool and Timmy was joining them; Tecna was nowhere to be seen – presumably in the washroom – while Musa sat on one of the lounge chairs watching Stella pace and curse the stalker.
"What happened to not talking about him?" Riven whispered, leaning into Musa's side, and handing her a beer. His mind had told him to head away from her while it wasn't necessary to be near her – save himself from falling for her even harder – but his body didn't seem to be listening. It craved her proximity far too much. Every inch of him wanted to be near her; to hold her and kiss her.
"Thanks," Musa replied, grabbing the beer. A calming warmth spread through his hand and up his arm into his body all because her pinky brushed his hand. There must be something wrong with him; he shouldn't be this affected by something so minute and innocent. "I don't know. I think she forgot about that."
Musa listened to the shuffling behind the door as she waited for it to open. The next step after telling her friends about the hack was telling her father. Only, he wasn't as easy to have come over since weirdo had made it clear that he didn't approve of Musa having a relationship with her father. She couldn't text or call him on her old phone because she didn't want her stalker having a reason to attack her father – she had no idea if the guy was the violent type, but she didn't really want to find out either – and she couldn't text her father on her new phone in case her stalker had hacked her father's phone and could use that to get her new number. The only real option was an unannounced visit.
A tall gentleman with kind brown eyes and curly black hair opened the door, nodded to Riven – and ignored her, though Musa decided that wasn't worth the argument right then even if she was paying him – and called for her father. The door was closed on them as they waited. Riven started to comment on the guy – an older member of the team that was, to his knowledge, excellent – when the door opened again.
"Musa? What a... I wasn't expecting you."
That wasn't the reaction she was expecting. Usually, he would hug her, tell her what joy it was to see her, or, at the very least, smile. Instead, William stood at the door staring at her uncomfortably. He swallowed heavily, waiting with bated breath for... something.
"Yeah... Sorry to pop in, but I need to talk to you." His face went white, and he instantly became the doting father she had been expecting. His hands reached out to her as he let the apartment door shut behind him, and he started to question if she was okay. In her peripheral vision, Musa caught Riven's hand moving towards them to pull her father off her – like he would if she'd had a fan or paparazzi jump in front of her – but he thought better of it and returned his hand to his sides. "Dad, I'm fine," Musa insisted, gripping his hands in hers and giving them a tight squeeze. "I just need to talk to you. Can we come in?"
"Uh..." William's eyes darted back towards the apartment before returning to the two people standing in front of him. Musa was close enough to see the way he clenched his jaw and swallowed hard, before muttering something about now not being a good time.
"Seriously?" Musa groaned. "This is important."
"Okay, uh. Just hang on a second." The door was closed on them once more as her father entered the apartment.
"What the fuck is going on?" She turned to Riven, leaning against the hallway wall with her arms crossed. Her father should know that she wouldn't venture all the way out to White Plains on a whim; that she had a reason to be here unannounced. Riven moved up to the door and leaned against it, listening for any sounds that would give away whatever her father was hiding.
"Oh..." he mumbled eventually, leaning away from the door, and shooting her a grimace. "I think his girlfriend is here..."
"Oh." Of course. That was the only plausible reason he would be uncomfortable: the woman that, up until a week ago, Musa despised was sitting on the other side of the door. Musa balled her hands into the thin material of her sleeves and rested her head against the wall. Footsteps made their way towards her until a tall figure was looming by her side and leaning against the wall with her.
"I can talk to him if you want. You can wait in the entryway, so you don't have to see her" he offered. God, he was so fucking nice; she could kiss him just for offering. Musa tilted her head up until her eyes met his. He gave her the sweetest smile and her heart melted. Who gave a fuck that Judy was there? Riven was beside her, and she could take on the little homewrecker without a problem as long as he was there. "No, it's fine. I can... I can handle this."
His hand found her shoulder in a reassuring touch, and she wanted nothing more than to lean into him for all the support he could offer. This crush would be the death of her. She would spend the next god-knows-how-long wanting nothing more than to be near him and kiss him and hold him, and she couldn't. She could request a new guard, but then she'd have to explain that the reason she didn't want him to work for her anymore was because she was in love with him and that would be uncomfortable, if not completely fucking awkward.
Against her better judgement, Musa found herself leaning into him. He was warm and surprisingly soft for someone that was entirely muscle. His arm found its way across her shoulders and his fingers brushed her arm softly. Musa exhaled happily, wrapped up in familiarity and intimacy.
Too intimate.
It was too intimate.
He was her employee for fuck's sake.
Riven must have realised it too because he removed his arm from her shoulders and stepped away so abruptly that she almost stumbled into him further. Just managing to regain her footing, Musa pushed herself back against the wall and ignored the pit that had formed in her stomach. She knew the arm was too much, but did he really have to step away; she wasn't a fucking bomb.
"Judy can leave, but she'd love to meet you if you're willing" William was saying from behind Riven.
Oh... Was that why he'd moved? Because he'd heard her father approaching the door? So then... was he okay with how close they'd been? Did he want to be that close to her too? Was he... Did he... No, that was ridiculous. He coul-
"Muse?"
Fuck. She'd let her mind wander away from the hallway to a world where they could be together – where he might entertain the idea of being with her – and now both Riven and her father were watching her with raised eyebrows. Did she want to meet Judy? No. Not particularly. Would she ever want to meet Judy? Also no. Might as well get it over with now while she had support. "Sure."
Before they entered, Riven typed out a message on his phone – presumably about leaving their phones outside of the apartment while they spoke. William read the message quickly, shot them both a curious look, but didn't question them. Musa followed him into the apartment where the whore was waiting patiently on the couch.
The whore was an older woman in a shapeless pink dress with greying hair and kind green eyes that reminded Musa a bit of Flora's.
She hated the bitch.
"Musa, it's so nice to meet you" Judy said in a sickeningly sweet voice once William had put both of their phones on the patio table. "Your father talks about you so much; I feel like I know you already."
Musa wanted to throw something, but she instead forced herself to take a deep breath. Riven took the lead, explaining to the older couple about the hack and how they were requesting that anyone with immediate access to Musa change phones and phone numbers. "Anyone with immediate access to someone in her inner circle should too to be careful."
"Of course, whatever you need just let me know" Judy replied immediately. Fuck her and her pleasant and understanding demeanor. William, understandably, was outraged that someone would violate her privacy that much, as if the guy hadn't done much worse by just writing letters. The older man went into a raving rant about how awful the creep was – none of which Musa disagreed with – until Judy, mercifully, read the room and changed the subject, asking Musa about her new album and any touring plans.
They stuck around far longer than anticipated. So long that Judy offered to make everyone supper. Riven offered to help, which the older woman gladly accepted. William leaned back on the couch, motioning to Musa to come sit beside him.
"What do you think of her?" he asked, his voice edging with caution. Musa was loathe to admit that Judy was nice – sweet, seemingly genuine, caring and pretty funny – so she only admitted that Judy isn't that bad.
"I'll take it" William chuckled, looking behind them. Musa's eyes followed his gaze, but all she could see was the empty hallway. "So…"
"So?"
"What's the deal with him?"
"Him?" Musa repeated, hoping that playing dumb would give her father a chance to rethink his line of questioning. William didn't budge. He gave Musa a knowing look before nodding his chin towards the kitchen. "Him."
I'm in love with him.
"Nothing."
"Really?" He didn't believe her. Not that she could blame him; no one else did either. Musa might as well be walking around with a flashing neon sign above her head that said in love with my bodyguard. "Am I that obvious?" she sighed, dropping her head onto her father's shoulder.
"You both are."
Musa looked up at him curiously. Both? The idea that Riven would be into her seemed ridiculous. Her father would think so too if he'd met Darcy. The woman – even if she was a complete cunt – oozed sex appeal; she wore slinky dresses and smoky makeup. Musa was much more at ease in a pair of sweatpants and no makeup. While she didn't know a whole lot about Darcy otherwise, she thought it was safe to bet that they weren't terribly similar personality-wise either. But then again... maybe he'd come to realise that Darcy wasn't what he wanted in a partner. And it wasn't like Musa couldn't be sexy too; she just preferred comfort. "You thi-"
"I've been kicked out of the kitchen" Riven announced as he entered the living room, throwing his hands up in the air in feigned surrender before dropping himself on the couch opposite Musa and her father, effectively ending the conversation.
He was completely and utterly fucked. Two weeks had passed since he had metaphorically shot himself in the foot and he was going crazy. Was it possible to spend most of the day with somebody and still spend every waking moment away from them thinking about them? Because that's where he was; every thought somehow led him back to Musa. He would watch TV in the living room and spend the whole time hoping she would come join him; he would get himself a snack and wonder if she wanted one too; he would sit in the pool and picture her across from him in the fucking red bikini she'd worn the day Stella and Brandon had come back from their honeymoon; and, worst of all, he saw her in his dreams. She would sing to him every night, run her hands through his hair, kiss his forehead and cuddle up to him until morning came. Some nights – both his favourite and least favourite nights – she would tease him by running her fingers over his entire body with a feather-light touch that would drive him wild. In those dreams, he would spend the whole night loving her, soaking in her every gasp, and caressing her soft, perfect body until they were both were exhausted. He would hear her screaming his name for hours after he'd woken.
So, again, he was completely fucked.
Saladin had one rule. Well, no, Saladin had multiple rules, but the one that should be the easiest to follow was not to get personally involved with clients. Easy. Yet here he was. Breaking the easiest fucking rule in the book: remain professional. Falling in love with the person you were supposed to be keeping safe was the very opposite of professional.
His one saving grace came in the form of the two idiots that Saladin had hired to assist him when they were out, which, with album press, they had been a lot recently. Riven wasn't particularly impressed with the two of them, but they did the job well enough and they'd passed background and security checks. Most importantly, they gave him the extra sense of self-awareness he needed to not be overtly friendly and familiar with Musa in public. Not like he'd been when they'd visited her father where they'd been a millisecond away from William walking out on them cuddled up in his hallway.
But fuck had that been nice. And unprofessional. And he'd found himself doing things like that increasingly often. She'd played some stupid quiz game on one of the talk shows she'd been on and had won, and his dumb ass had hugged her when she got backstage. He went out of his way to make sure she was comfortable during photoshoots: asking her at every break if she wanted water or a snack or, during the one where she'd been in just a bodysuit (a nightmare when it came to his goal of not staring at her) if she was warm enough. Every time she seemed uncomfortable, nervous, or scared (why did the girl love horror movies and serial killer documentaries so much when she was such a baby?), he found himself reaching out for her and trying to reassure her.
"Ready to go?" Musa's voice pierced through his thoughts, turning the moments he'd been replaying to dust. Her hand rested on his arm momentarily before she turned away to grab her mug of coffee. She'd been doing that a lot lately. She had been resting her hand on his arm, brushing specks of dirt off his shoulder or out of his hair, and the most detrimental to his sanity, leaning on him when they watched TV. Once he'd let himself put his arm around her and pull her in a bit closer. Musa had let him, but after they'd gone to bed, he'd found himself wanting her back there far too badly. It couldn't happen again.
"Yeah" he nodded, following her out the door of their hotel room. Dumb and dumber – Colin and Ryan if Riven remembered correctly – were waiting for them in the hallway. The two morons would take a separate car while Musa and Riven would pile into the car with Wizgiz, who would usually not travel with her but was obligated to as a safety precaution. This was the last of the LA bookings of the 10 TV interviews, 15 radio interviews and 11 magazine interviews and shoots that they'd crammed into the last week and a half. As soon as this one was over, they would be on a plane back to New York. "You excited about the last interview?" He asked once they were in the car.
"No" she grumbled. "I don't like Ellen (1)."
"Oh?"
"She's just... she has a habit of making guests feel uncomfortable or bringing up topics that are personal and awkward."
"I thought that's what pre-interviews were for?" Riven had recently learned about pre-interviews. A few days before, a producer for the show would reach out to Musa to go through possible stories for the interview. At the same time, she would be able to mention topics she didn't want to discuss – for the last week, she had been repeating the phrase I I refuse to address the stalker situation /i over and over again.
"Yeah. Ellen doesn't seem to give a shit about those." Musa went on to explain that the last time she'd been there was just after her breakup with Andy. It had only been two weeks since and, even though Musa had told Ellen on the show that she didn't want to talk about it, the comedian had persisted. "I broke down in my dressing room after that interview. It was not a good time."
Musa took a seat on the plush white couch opposite Ellen. Her heart was beating so loudly that she could hear it pounding in her chest. She tugged at the hem of the red mini dress Stella had put her in, only to realise it made her nerves all the more obvious to the audience. She forced her hands onto her lap.
"It's so good to see you; it's been what, 4 years, 5 years, since you were last here."
Since you decided to ask about a very fresh, and very painful breakup.
"Something like that" she laughed, hoping how much she didn't want to be there didn't come through.
Ellen started to ask about the album and Musa had to restrain herself from letting out a breath of relief. She had never been one to put on diva airs – she tried to keep her calm with reporters and paparazzi even when she wanted to scream – but if Ellen asked a single fucking question about the stalker, Musa was ready to storm off the stage.
It went surprisingly well. Musa was even starting to relax and let down her guard. The interview was almost over and then she would be free and clear of The Ellen Show for hopefully another 5 years. They talked about the album, the creative process, Stella's wedding, and Musa even let a hint slip about a possible upcoming tour. She was almost home free until:
"We do need to talk about this, though" Ellen said, looking up at a picture that popped up on the screen behind her. Musa's eyes followed Ellen's up until she found herself looking at that damn fucking picture of her and Riven. "And specifically, him."
Oh, for fuck's sake.
"Do we really? I feel like I've addressed this multiple times."
She had. Weeks ago, when the Luxure ad came out. There was nothing to tell because the public didn't need to know that she was in love with him, that she craved his touch and melted when she got it, that she could still feel the heat of his hand on her back and could still remember the way he'd brushed her hair back. The public didn't need to know that she dreamed about him constantly and heard his voice when the world was quiet. If they didn't need to know that then it was certainly none of their business if she daydreamed about him making love to her and what his stubble would feel like against her neck or what his breath would sound like in her ear. No need to tell them that she looked for him every time she entered a room in her own home or constantly wondered what he was thinking or how he was feeling. It would be entirely useless to tell them about the way he made her heart stop and her knees weak.
"Oh, come on. Tell us. What's the deal?" Ellen urged. Would it be weird of her to walk off set now Musa wondered. No, but it would be suspicious; it would give people a reason to question her relationship with Riven. It would also make her seem like a diva. Better to suck it up and answer.
"There is no deal. It's a photoshoot, that's it" Musa replied firmly, hoping that her tone and annoyed expression got the message through.
"That's some serious tension though."
"Well, Roxy is a super talented photographer."
Musa swore she saw Ellen's eyes flicker in annoyance, but it was quickly replaced with the same stupid jovial expression the host had worn through the entire interview. "Even the most talented of photographers can't produce that kind of tension. Come on, just tell us. Have you kissed?"
God, she fucking wished. There had been so many moments in the last little while that her eyes caught Riven's and the desire to lean in and kiss him was almost unbearable. "No" Musa maintained her no-nonsense tone, refusing to allow her irritation to push through. "Our relationship is a professional one. I have repeated this multiple times and frankly, I don't get why people have so much trouble understanding that."
"Okay, okay" Ellen relented finally with a laugh that made Musa want to rip her head off. As if Musa was overreacting for not wanting to talk about something that she had addressed multiple times and hadn't approved as a conversation topic. Ellen cut the show to commercial and got up to speak to one of the producers while Musa remained seated, staring at the picture of herself straddling Riven and wishing she had kissed him when she had the chance. Who cared that she didn't even like him as a person then, she would grow to love him anyways.
Riven leaned back in the hot tub, taking in the sounds of the city. It felt so good to be back in New York; back, he couldn't believe it, home. He had no idea how Musa did it. They had only been in LA for a week – it was basically a vacation period – and he was already happy to be back. How did she do it for months at a time? How was he going to do it? 9 months bouncing from city to city and hotel to hotel was going to be killer, and he doubted they'd have caught the stalker by then.
"It's always so nice to be back home" Musa commented as she slid in across from him.
But for her, he'd live on the road for years if she wanted him to. Anything to be sure she was safe.
"How do you do it?" he asked, allowing himself a moment for his eyes to gloss over the exposed parts of her while her attention was on the skyline. Even in the dim light of the terrace lanterns, she was stunning. Dark hair that reflected the light like God had blessed her with a thick curtain of night sky in place of hair, dark blue eyes as deep as the Mariana Trench and a million times more beautiful, pouty lips that looked as soft as cashmere and beckoned him to her, and a body that most would kill for.
"You get used to it, I guess" Musa replied, turning to face him. She must have caught him off guard; he quickly averted his gaze only to return it to her a second later. "I mean, it always sucks but I get to do something I love in exchange for being away. That makes it a bit better."
Riven asked her a few questions about the interview circuit: how many she'd do, what they were like, her favourite interviewers. It felt like they were constantly talking about her, and she was kind of over it. She had spent the past week constantly talking about herself; she was tired of hearing about her. "Tell me something about you" she said abruptly, cutting him off midsentence. "Sorry, I'm just tired of talking about myself."
"Oh, right... makes sense" he mumbled. Of course she'd want to talk about something else. Musa wasn't some narcissistic asshole. "What do you want to know?"
"Anything. Whatever you want to tell me" she shrugged awkwardly. She was so fucking cute when she was awkward. The way she smiled bashfully when she shrugged and the way her hands came together to fiddle with one of the strings hanging on her shoulder, it was too much.
What the fuck was he supposed to tell her about? His shitty childhood? How much he'd hated school? The death of his cat when he was 5? "I'm allergic to amoxicillin..."
Musa cocked her eyebrow at him. What the fuck was that? He could have told her about his favourite book, the first concert he went to, how he embarrassed himself on his first date. No, he'd chosen that stupid fact. "Is that the shit that tastes like fake banana?"
"Yes. Nasty fucking stuff."
"I love that fake banana flavour." Riven grimaced and Musa laughed. She propped her elbow onto the edge of the hot tub and rested her chin on her hand, facing out at the city sky. A faraway look crossed her features. He wanted to know what she was thinking about, what thought or memory had swept her off to a faraway place. He wanted to be there with her. "When I was a kid," she started, her voice barely above a whisper, "my mom and I had this tradition. Every second Sunday, we would walk to the bodega around the corner. We would get, you know those clear plastic baggies of candy that you know the owners made from bags of bulk candy? We'd get as many of those as we could carry – or afford sometimes – and have a picnic in the park."
A shudder went through Musa's body and, though he was sure she tried to disguise it, Riven saw her wipe a tear away. Instinctively, he moved across the hot tub. His hand found its way to her upper back. He had already started to caress it when his mind caught up and reprimanded his heart for wanting to comfort her. But she was giving him the sweetest, sincerest smile and he couldn't care less if his actions were unprofessional. "I know it's not much, but at least you have those memories. I would have killed for my mom to do something like that."
Fucking idiot. Why would you say that? He might as well have said you can't miss your mom because at least she was a mom.
Musa watched Riven curiously. Even in the low light, she saw the way he flinched when he'd mentioned his mother. Had it been anyone else, she would have been pissed about what he'd said, but she couldn't care less. His hand was on her back, sending warmth and shivers coursing through her, and he had, for the first time since they'd met, mentioned something from his childhood. "What was she like?"
Riven swallowed heavily and the air around them grew cold. Or maybe that was just her imagination. The freezing air that hit her back as he pulled his hand away, though, definitely wasn't her imagination. She wanted to pull his hand back, force it to stay on her. She wanted to caress his cheek and let him know it was okay; that she would protect him from whatever demons haunted him. "You don't have to answer that. I shouldn't have asked. I'm sorry."
"No, it's okay" he whispered. His eyes grew distant, and Musa wished she could take the question back. The very last thing she wanted to do was upset him. "She tried. I know she did, but it just... When she was sober, she was the best, but those moments were so rare, and they never lasted. Before my dad, she had trained as a pastry chef. She was a great one too; I remember she used to make all sorts of stuff when she was sober. She got this job at a nice restaurant where my dad was the bartender. He got her addicted to heroin. He was... drunk a-and violent. I think she relied on him for her fix – or maybe she thought he loved her – so she stayed. She tried to leave once when I was six. We stayed in a DV shelter, but it only lasted a few days. Then we were back at home, and he was beating her regularly again."
Musa was struck silent. She hadn't expected him to answer the question at all, let alone give her so much information. Every instinct urged her to apologise for the shitty childhood he'd had, but her brain knew better. She hated when people apologised for her mother's death when it was clearly so far beyond their control; Riven would hate it too. He certainly wouldn't take kindly to anything close to pity. So, she stayed silent.
"She could've been so great if it weren't for him."
"Bad relationships can really fuck you up" Musa agreed thoughtfully. She knew all about that firsthand, though, thankfully, nowhere near the extent of Riven's mother.
"Yeah…" Riven sighed, turning to her for the first time since he'd started speaking. His gemstone eyes reflected the lights of the string lights that lined the edges of the patio, and Musa felt her heart leap out to him. It took all her self control not to feel him up when she rested her hand on his bicep. In her defense, it should be illegal to have a body like his. "How are you doing post-dipshit? You know, speaking of bad relationships…"
"You mean Jared?" Musa laughed. She wanted to bring the subject back to Riven – to learn more about him – but he was clearly over talking about it, and she didn't want to press her luck. He would tell her more when he was ready. She hoped. "He really was a dipshit, wasn't he?"
"Yes" Riven affirmed without hesitation. Musa laughed harder.
"I haven't even thought about him, honestly" she replied. Why would she? In retrospect, she hadn't even liked Jared all that much even at the very beginning of their relationship. She was just so desperate for someone nice after Andy that she'd convinced herself that he was what she wanted. And he had been nice at first. Then his true self was revealed and – yes, fine, she denied it for a while – he became too much. And now, how could she even spare a thought for Jared when she had someone that was actually nice (and hot) – even if he didn't come across as it – right in front of her. "I'm very happy he's gone."
"Good." Riven smiled at her as he leaned onto the edge of the hot tub. "You deserve so much better."
"Oh?" It made her want to laugh. They had come so far. The man she had once considered a nuisance, who had invaded her life, was now someone she couldn't picture not having around. The man who had once thought her to be, in short, a waste of space, was now someone that cared deeply for her. As deeply as she wanted him to? "And what do I deserve?"
Oh fuck. Why did he have to say that? Why did he have to open his big fucking mouth and even say anything at all? He couldn't have just left it at good?
Musa was sitting there with a giant smile plastered on her face. A stray hair had fallen into her eyes from the messy bun she'd thrown her hair into while he was talking. He watched as she pushed it out of her face several times, only for it to return to its previous position every time. Riven's arm seemed to move of its own volition. His fingertips brushed her hair behind her ear, trailing down to her chin where his thumb gently caressed her cheek.
It might have been the single beer he'd had at dinner, but more than likely, the way she was looking at him; dark blue eyes watched behind thick lashes, curious and shining. Maybe it was that she lit something in him that he'd never known existed; made him feel like someone he wanted to be. It could have been the thin, barely existent black bikini she was wearing that was making him weak in the knees. Or maybe it was just her. Whatever it was, he found himself running his thumb down her cheekbone to slide across her lower lip and leaning into her. "You deserve someone that cares about you and supports you; that knows you and understands you. Someone that loves you. Really loves you."
She was going to kiss him. She was going to fuck up really badly and kiss him. His touch, tender and light, made her feel like goo; made her insides go all wobbly; and her heart speed up so much she might die. His eyes, caring and honest, drew her in. In them, she saw the two of them laughing and kissing, holding hands and making love. She saw them in a way she could only dream about him.
She could only dream about him.
He was her employee.
He was coming out of a bad relationship.
He didn't see her that way.
"What about you?" she asked, forcing herself to move back, just beyond the reach of his embrace. Her lip and cheek froze, even in the mid-August heat, where his hand had been. "How are you? Post-Darcy?"
I Why/i the actual fuck did she feel the need to bring that up?!
Riven let out a thoughtful sigh. How was he doing post-Darcy? Great. Just. Fucking. Great. He had fallen head over heels in love with the woman he was supposed to be protecting; the one person he couldn't get involved with.
"I'm sorry if I caused issues betwe-"
"You have no reason to be sorry." He swore he'd told her this before. Musa bore no responsibility for the issues in his and Darcy's relationship surfacing. Those issues had always been there, he had just willfully ignored them. He didn't even blame Darcy for their issues – though most people would. He knew her personal issues; knew she was a wreck masquerading under a calm and collected exterior. "I'm good, actually. It sucks that it had to end the way it did, but it's better for both of us. I'm ready to move on from that part of my life."
With you.
Only with you.
He didn't think there would be any moving on from Musa, though. No one else had ever, would ever, mark him the way she had, especially in such a short period of time.
"Good. I'm glad" Musa smiled. "I know I didn't see much of your relationship, but what I did… well, you deserve better too."
Riven raised his eyebrows curiously. She… That was the same thing he'd said. Was she beating herself up over saying something stupid too? Or, no, she meant it in a friendly way. She'd tell Aisha the same thing after a breakup. But what if she didn't… "Do I?"
"Of course," Musa replied softly. "You should be with someone that sees you, all of you, and believes the best of you. Someone that will support you, not knock you down." Riven chuckled bitterly as he averted his gaze. Did he not believe her? Did he not realise how incredible he was? Musa scooted herself closer and tugged lightly as his arm. "I'm serious! You are smart and funny, and you're honest, loyal, genuine and... and... just... good. Someone will love you the way you should be loved."
Someone like me.
He turned to her, a silent laugh echoing on his face. He was so fucking beautiful when he smiled it was painful. Musa took in every inch of his face in that moment. The way his smile reached his eyes when it was genuine was something she could – would – write dozens, if not hundreds, of songs about. The way his smile sparkled and danced in the bright violet was mesmerizing, pulling her in until she was swimming, drowning, in shimmering violets. She would die happy in his eyes.
Mere inches separated their thighs. Why did she have to move so close? Didn't she know the effect she had on him? This proximity meant it would take a single, minute move for them to be touching. It meant that he could pick her up and pull her onto his lap with minimal effort.
She returned the smile on his face – he couldn't help it when he knew she thought so much of him – and he became a helpless, hopeless fool. Musa owned his heart and soul. Sometimes he thought he could untangle himself from her, but then she smiled or laughed or sang and he became hers again. She was close enough that he could feel her breath hitting him; she was close enough that one small move would mean he could kiss her.
He needed to diffuse otherwise he was colossally fucked.
"So cheesy" he teased, his voice coming out much lower and breathier than he'd anticipated. How was teasing her supposed to diffuse? He should've started talking about something like taxes.
"Shut up. You love when I stroke your ego."
I'd love it if you'd stroke other things too, he thought. His eyes flitted between her lips and her eyes. He wouldn't allow them to look lower. If they did, he'd start to imagine how she'd look without those thin pieces of fabric that were already barely covering her. He'd want to rip them off her and kiss every inch of her, radiating in how breathtaking she was. If he started to imagine that then he'd be tempted to bend her over the edge of the hot tub so he could pull that fucking luscious hair or pin her against the patio door and fuck her until she was screaming his name.
She wished she could stroke more than his ego. The huskiness of his voice – tinged with lust? - drove her wild. She tried to force herself to look away from him, but he had her locked in a trance. Her eyes drifted from his eyes to his lips where, despite their desperation to look lower, she managed to force them back to Riven's eyes only for them to continue to drop to his lips. Not that it mattered if she stopped herself from looking anywhere other than his face, she'd already memorised his body – every inch she could. She'd already imagined all the things she could do to him; all the ways he could fuck her until her voice died in her throat. She'd already imagined what her name would sound like on his lips, in that same low, husky groan that had plagued her dreams for weeks.
Neither would be able to tell you who moved first. Their lips met, already feverish and desperate. It was heaven to know what the others lips tasted like, to feel them against their own. One of Riven's hand found its way back to Musa's cheek, thumb caressing her face and fingers knotting themselves in her hair. The other hand found her waist in the dark and drug her closer to him until they were joined at the hip, and he could feel her breathing against his chest. Musa's arms wrapped around Riven's neck, pulling her further into him until it was impossible to tell where she ended and he began.
Riven nipped at her lower lip, begging her to grant him access. Musa's mouth opened, allowing his tongue to enter and meet hers in a dance for dominance. The hand that had been in her hair traced down the side of her body, sending a shiver down her spine. Riven pulled her into him until she couldn't get any closer. She wanted closer.
Taking charge of the moment, Musa moved to straddle his lap. The hot tub seat didn't allow for much of her leg to rest on the seat, but she couldn't be fussed to care when she could feel him already starting to get hard against her. Trailing her hand around his neck and down his chest, Musa took in every groove of his mouth wateringly perfect abs. Riven's mouth dipped down to pepper kisses down her neck. His stubble tickled her neck, but she paid it no mind; it wasn't worth her attention when his lips were on her, breathing life into every inch of her body.
Musa threw her head back as he kissed her neck, allowing him more access. A soft moan escaped her lips, his only indication that she was enjoying this as much as he was. Damn water from the hot tub stopped him from feeling if she was wet. His hands moved down her back to cup her ass. He permitted himself a squeeze. Or two. It was just as perfect as he'd expected it to be. He slid himself to the edge of the seat. Riven tried to tell Musa to wrap her legs around him as he stood up, but her mouth was on his as soon as it was free and, God, if he wasn't completely weak for her kiss.
Riven stood up and Musa had to wrap her legs around him to keep herself from falling off. That must have been what he wanted because he smiled into the kiss. She wasn't complaining about it either because it brought a smile to her face too. Even if she couldn't really see the smile, just knowing he was smiling for her made her all warm and bubbly.
Then he walked her over to the edge of the hot tub and sat her down before breaking the kiss and motioning for her to get out. Musa obliged him, spinning around, and stepping out onto the deck. She tried to ignore the way her heart sank when he broke the kiss, telling herself that it was better that they stop now before she made an even bigger mistake.
One deep breath and she turned to face him, ready for the let's pretend that never happened talk. Instead of Riven being by the hot tub like she'd been expecting, he was inches – if that – from her, eyeing her hungrily. He bent to kiss her with such force and desire that she had to step backwards to avoid toppling over. Musa's arms found their way around Riven's neck, pulling him further into her as they stumbled backwards lost in the delirium of their desire.
Her back hit the cool glass window of the patio door, refreshing and shocking against her burning body. She moved to open the door, but her hands never made it to the handle. She could feel the handle at her fingertips, but Riven's touch had slid off her waist and up her body and arms until he was holding her hands pinned up against the door. She got the message: he wanted her here. Fine by her. He could have her wherever, whenever, he wanted her.
Riven slid his hands down her arms to her chest, grabbing at her breasts and ignoring the little voice in his head telling him that he was being irresponsible. All rational had been lost the second their lips met, and every desire he'd had unleashed. He would do anything for her. Mercifully, Musa moaned into the kiss, arching her back into his touch. He toyed with the hem of her bikini top, fingers brushing the skin under her boob as his thumb played with her nipple above the paper-thin material. His lips moved away from hers and down her neck, nibbling lightly, testing the waters. He bit tentatively, a husky groan escaping from somewhere deep in him when she moaned much louder and threw her head back against the glass. Fuck wasn't that the most magnificent sound he'd ever heard.
Musa grew impatient with his teasing and reached behind her neck to untie her bikini top. Riven wanted to keep teasing her, devoted to getting every possible moan, groan or whimper out of her, but his own lust took over and he found himself cupping her bare breasts and playing with them much more roughly than the feather light touch he'd been using before. Musa's hands untied the back of the bikini, letting the material fall to the floor, before finding their way down to the hem of his swim trunks and slipping them off his waist. The woman clearly didn't mess around.
Riven's hands trailed down her stomach, caressing and grabbing every inch he could touch before he reached her hips. His hand dipped into her waist band without hesitation. Fuck teasing her. He needed to know how wet she was for him.
Soaked.
He bit her lip, eliciting another groan from her as his fingers found their way to her clit and circled it gently. Her fingers managed to find his cock – already rock hard and straining to feel her – and began to touch him lazily, teasingly. She knew he was desperate for her. He wasn't in the mood to play games. He shoved two fingers in her, moving around until he found the spot that made her inhale sharply and dig the nails of her free hand into his back. He dropped his head to her shoulder, sucking at her neck and added a third finger, keeping up the pace until Musa was reduced to a whimpering mess. All for him. Her hips began to move against his hand, desperately seeking friction.
"Riven," she called, her voice low and brimming with lust. He tilted his head to look up at her, catching her watching him out of the corner of her stunning dark blue eyes. "Can you just fuck me already?"
Riven's eyes grew dark and hungry, and he smiled at her in a way that made the fire already burning inside her combust. She needed him now. He removed his hand from her bathing suit bottom and unhooked the ties on the side – she may or may not have worn this pair on the off chance that the evening led here, though her hopes were exceptionally low. He cupped her ass, giving her left cheek a light slap that left her giggling in his ear. "You can go harder than that" she whispered.
"Another time" he chuckled as he pulled her up off the ground. She wrapped his legs around him, intending to rub against him and maybe elicit a few moans of her own. She'd only gotten a few from him, plus that fucking groan that reverberated through her core, and wanted to hear how badly he wanted her. She never got to, though, because the second she was where he wanted her, he was pushing his cock into her.
And it was so much better than teasing him could ever be.
Riven hissed in pleasure into her ear as he began to pump in and out of her, slow and steady. His hands gripped her ass tightly, holding her firmly in place under (could this be considered under?) him and his mouth pecked up her neck, searching blindly for her lips. When he finally caught them, the kiss was sloppy and ravenous.
She had to be the most amazing thing he'd ever felt. Her beautiful, petite body pressed up against him sent jitters through every cell. The hair that had fallen out of her elastic and brushed his shoulder tickled slightly, but made this moment feel all the more real. Her fake nails – the same ones she'd complained about when she'd had them done – dug into his back and her heels hit his ass lightly with every thrust. She was absolute perfection.
After this there was no doubt in Riven's mind that no one would compare to Musa. The way she moaned, completely unrestrained, into his ear was, he'd decided, the most wonderful sound he'd ever heard. That was, until she came with a shout of his name, followed by a breathless oh, fuuuuck Riven. It became clear to him that no sound – no matter how beautiful or angelic – would ever compare to her saying his name in sheer ecstasy.
A few more thrusts and Riven joined her in that space of bliss. He was lost in a momentary haze where all he could feel was the smoothness of her skin against her, and all he could hear was her chuckle, breathy and still slightly delirious, around him. He could stay there forever.
Riven kissed her shoulder and pulled out of her. He kept her lifted around him, not caring that his arms were shaking from her weight. He would suffer for centuries if it meant he could keep her that close. Musa wrapped her arms around his neck and held him for a second before leaning her head back and whispering in his ear. "Think you've got another round in you?"
Riven nodded lazily, never removing his forehead from the cool door. Another round with her would not be a problem.
"Good. I'm not done with you yet" she whispered into his ear in a low, sultry voice that made him weak in the knees. He would do anything, let her use him in any way, as long as she used that tone.
Musa unhooked her legs and, once he'd let go of her ass, lowered her feet to the ground. Reaching behind her blindly – no way in hell was she taking her eyes off the perfect specimen in front of her – she managed to open the patio door. She grabbed his wrist and pulled him into the apartment, pushing the door shut behind them.
She eyed him hungrily, taking in every inch of skin, every muscle and curve. She'd never had the opportunity to check him out so openly before and Lord knew she wasn't missing it now that it had come around. Riven stood in the hallway, fully exposed, cock twitching as he watched her too. She could feel his eyes poring over her body; she loved every minute of it.
When she'd had her fill of soaking him in, she walked up to him slowly. Her hand rested on his perfectly chiseled chest, nails digging into him as she pushed him backwards down the hall towards her room. He had had her his way; she was going to have him hers.
Riven stumbled backwards the whole way, drunk on the seductive eyes and confident smirk she was giving him. She hadn't even kissed him and he was putty in her hands. He saw the frame of her bedroom door pass by and soon his knees were buckling when he hit the bed. Musa crawled on top of him, bending down to give him one hungry kiss on the lips before she began her descent, leaving a trail of chaste kisses down his chest and onto his inner thigh. Her fingers toyed lightly with his shaft, and she continued to pepper kisses and lick everywhere but his head until he was all but begging her to give him more.
When he was somewhere in the rapture of his desperation, her mouth found his cock. She took all of him at once, eliciting a moan from him that was much louder than anything he'd gotten from her. Fucking Musa; he was going to have to get even for that. Riven's head lolled around until he was looking down at her choking on him. Her eyes snapped up at him and he could practically see her smirk in them. She knew the effect she was having on him, and she loved it. So did he, for that matter.
She couldn't take it anymore. Her thoughts had been to play with him and tease him a bit more, but watching his eyes roll back in his head in pleasure and hearing him moaning for her was becoming too much. She needed him now. She released his cock from her mouth, leaving him groaning in displeasure as she crawled over his body until his erection lined up with her entrance.
Musa joined their bodies. She could feel Riven's hands on her hips, clawing at her with a desperation that made her want to ride him faster, harder. Her hands found his thighs for support as she arched back and lost herself in the delirium. Beneath her, she felt Riven move and suddenly his tongue was flicking at her nipple. A hand – his, she realised – snaked along her inner thigh up to her clit to circle it expertly. The combination had her losing her mind and moaning so loudly she thought the entire city might hear her.
"Fuck, Musa" he groaned into her chest, in that same deep, guttural growl she'd imagined for weeks. It sent barrelling up to the edge. One hand gripped his thigh tighter as the other found its way around her body to pull his chin up into a starving, desperate kiss. She rocked against him faster and faster until she couldn't take it anymore and she went plummeting into a state of euphoric bliss with a shout of his name. She heard her name leave his lips along with a few choice expletives, but it hardly registered in her haze.
Musa rolled off him onto the cool sheets, breathing heavily as she tried to regain control of her body. She felt Riven drop beside her and his arm rest just above her head. Instinctively, she lifted her head, and his arm came to rest under it, pulling her closer to him. The last thing she remembered before drifting off into an easy sleep was resting her head on his chest and him kissing her forehead while he drew lazy circles on her back.
(1) DeGeneres. I always got a weird feeling about her and, frankly, wasn't too surprised when the rumours started circling about her being a complete bitch.