A/N: This is sorta my first real Self-insert so I hope you guys can please cut me some slack because honestly, the only fantastic self-insert out there or that I've seen is My Turn by Le MAO XXV so please go check it out because he's got great stories but enough jabbern let's go.

Disclaimer: I do not own the Witcher 2 or 3.

I laid in bed with my laptop against my legs glaring at what I was writing making sure no mistakes were being made.

The next chapter for DMC: Welcome to England has been a slog to write and perfect, even with Grammarly, to which Dante and Vergil are thrown into Black Butlers Victorian England.

Despite working on 2 books on Wattpad, 3 fanfictions on here, Juggling school and home life I've barely been able to able to even enjoy my writing or even flow it how I want to.

Yet even at 10:30 PM... I still draw a blank.

God Fuck Me! How hard is it to try to incorporate 2 fantastic demons into a different world without bending too far into it!?

I sigh deeply and close Microsoft Word file and open my other story file.

The Black Rose.

God, I haven't even touched that story since my last announcement on it. V for Vendetta was a fantastic film and there is so much potential for the story to go forward or at least be grammatically reworked. I mean you'd believe that my Fallout crossover would be it but ever since one of the viewers threw a fit because my character didn't kill a rabbit Faunus but I'm sorry my character had good Karma and made good choices.

But honestly, The Black Rose is my pride and joy because it was the first real story I ever wrote on and honestly, it was my masterpiece. Especially when I was going to have V date Win-

No. I can't spoil that for the readers.

Ah, what am I kidding it's my mind. Nobody will know what I'm saying or doing

(A/N *winks and giggles* hope you all are ready because V's coming back!)

Alright, let's see what I can do here.

God, this dates back to volume 1 I guess I've got work to do maybe even rework to where Ruby and V were separated, or I could have Raven take him away because she sees a better spark in him than Summer and V never got to know her...

On second thought, let's save that till later. God, it's 10:59 and I have exams on Tuesday and Wednesday.

I close my files, Pull out my hard drive, which contained all of my stories on it, and turned off my laptop. I get up and put my Laptop on my desk and unconsciously put the hard drive in my pocket.

I let out a silent yawn in order not to wake my roommates/best friends up. I need to stop pulling all-nighters.

Well, guess it's time to get some rest.

I gently lay in my bed, as again no to wake up my roommates/Best friends up, though it had been just a couple of minutes later sleep had overtaken me.

Ow.

...

Ow.

...

OW!

What the hell is going on!? I threw the blanket and covers off and turn on a flashlight to see a Goddamn Copperhead and Cottonmouth snake in my god damn bed!

I tried in vain to raise my chest up but as soon as I moved the cottonmouth jumped and bit into my neck as the copperhead bit down on my wrist vain. I tried in vain to pull them off or at least pry their fangs off of me but every attempt continued to drench me in more and more blood.

Tears began to develop as I watched my life flash before me. I watched my friends slowly disappear in my mind as my heart began to beat slower. Seeing all of the things I will never experience or ever be able to.

Please god please don't let me go.

Finally, my struggle and heartbeat cease.

Darkness was all that remained.

"Awaken young man"

My eyes groggily opened to find nothing but white. Honestly, I would have assumed I was in a hospital, But this was too much bloody white, even for a hospital.

I slowly sat up to find... more white... how shocking.

But, I'll keep it real. Where in the Fuck am I!?

"You are not in hell, young man. Nor heaven."

I quickly turned to the voice to find a very stout, bald Asian sitting crossed legged on the... floor? The color white is everywhere so I couldn't tell. He was wearing an orange robe and... hold on a sec.

"Are you Gautama Buddha!?"

The man smiled gently, "Why yes I am and it feels good that you knew my first name even for a westerner."

Oh my god. I can't believe it... wait a minute. I'm a Satanist!

Fuck!

"You are in Purgatory, Young man," the Budda stated

Purgatory? So... I'm Dead?

...

...

...

Goddamn it...

SON OF A BITCH!

Damn it all! Death by Two of Kentucky's most poisonous and painful snakes!

Great. I told Oliver not to bring those things into the Fucking house! God my mom is going to be so livid with me! She even told me that having them close to my room was a mistake and how easily the top and go off.

But noooooo. I kept thinking "I'm good with animals I'll be fine" and look at me now.

Damn it! So much I didn't get to do! or see!

And... oh god, my mom. my stepdad, my friends, my sister, and my grandmother...

My cousins...

They were all out of high school and had jobs like me but after all our family has been through...

And now I won't be able to see them. ever again.

I slowly sank to the floor(?), the realization kicking in. Tears stream down my eyes, hitting the floor(?).

My...my family.

How will they feel?

Everyone... will think I killed myself. Hell, my Roommates don't even know the snakes are out and eating me.

A hand gently rested upon my shoulder. "Rise now, young man. For your life may have ended...you may have another chance to live another."

I turned my tear-stricken gaze to the Buddha as he smiles. "H-How?"

"Look here."

I turn to where he gestures and find what appears to be a wheel straight out of the show Wheel of Fortune, only its standing upright instead of flat on the ground.

"Spin the Wheel of Reincarnation for a chance at a new life"

...

...

...

I feel like I've seen this somewhere before. like a fanfiction I use to read or a parody game show.

I shakily stood up "I-I guess"

I gently got up and approached the wheel and a thought hit me. "Hey, Buddha?"

"Yes?"

I step back "Did you ever have someone come through here once before?"

He hesitantly nodded "Yess why?"

"Oh, I was just wondering plus If It's the same guy we are both thinking about I'm going to just spin and hope for the best."

I knew as soon as I brought that up I knew who was here before because the wheel had 'be Christina Hendricks bra' and this made me sigh. "You still haven't changed that?"

The Buddha shook his head. "Nope, I don't even bother."

"Honestly I'd rather be Kylie Jenner's bra."

I could tell he was slowly losing his patience. So, I spun the wheel with great vigor watching the wheel go round and round... It then began to slow.

I stood in place watching the wheel progressively gets slower. The arrow clicking as it went through each pin, until the wheel went even slower.

The arrow slowed on Christina Hendricks bra-

OH DEAR GOD! NO!

the arrow flipped past it to the choice above it: Infantry soldier...

Of the Nilfgaardian Army.

I felt a deep sigh of relief for not getting that choice, Although I was honestly confused... then it hit me.

...

...

...

YES! IM JOINING NILFGAARD!

I was jumping up and down in overjoyed excitement with a massive smile on my face. After a couple of seconds, I calmed down and looked at the Buddha

"So, When do I start? Where do I g-"

And before I could finish asking my questions as if I blinked darkness surrounded me again.

A/N: And here we go hope this was interesting for at least most of you. honestly, I'm going to use this style for self-inserts because it makes it easier to track

Now to keep it real with you all this is very experimental to me I've never done self Inserts before so please give me some time trust and faith with this just to get used to it.

Also, I may insert myself in Canonical battles but other than that I'll be doing non-cannonical side objective that could make or break my character's reputation or imperial trust.

I hope you guys enjoyed this and If you want to know where this goes favorite/follow.

and again some of the stuff I used was from My Turn by Le MAO XXV go check it out it is fantastic.

But anyway see you all in the next chapter!

Later!