I took this story down a while back because I was disappointed with what I had done. I feel like I had a great idea, but it was very poorly executed. It was too rushed and I left a lot of the story unwritten because I was trying speed through and put out chapters as quickly as possible.
So here is the rewrite. Done correctly, how I had originally intended for it to be.
Please let me know what you think.
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Toki sighed as she sat in the middle of her bedroom staring at herself in the mirror. The single candle she was allowed cast just enough light to illuminate the tiny, closet sized room so she could see. She gripped the rusted kitchen knife in her hand as she second guessed what she was considering doing.
It was the eve of her sixteenth birthday. Tomorrow she would be considered an adult. She would be expected to start her new "service job", which was code for selling her body to whatever drunken slime ball paid the right price. Toki refused to sink so low that she would resort to selling herself for survival. She had decided a long time ago that when she came to this point in her life, she would rather die than play into Goro's twisted plan.
Toki lifted the knife, candle light glinting off of the rusty blade, and smirked. Before she had a chance to chicken out, she grabbed a chunk of her hair and quickly sliced through it. She stared at the bunch of long brown hair in her hand for a moment before dropping it to the floor and setting to work on chopping off the rest. When Toki was finished she looked at herself in the mirror again. All that remained of the beautiful silky hair that framed her face since she was a child was a short and shaggy, brown mop.
She got to her feet and pulled her tattered old dress over her head and tossed it aside. She dusted away the stray hairs that clung to her shoulders and tickled her, then moved over to her bed and pulled a bundle of red clothes from under her mattress. She had managed to swipe some clothes from a young fire nation soldier a few weeks ago during laundry duty for the inn. He was so busy getting drunk at the tavern and ogling the women that he never even realized they were gone. She unfolded the clothes and pulled out a very long strip of cloth that was folded neatly inside the bundle. Toki wrapped the cloth around her chest tightly, effectively hiding what little breasts she did have, then dressed in the stolen fire nation clothes.
Toki allowed herself one last look in the mirror and blinked in surprise when she could hardly recognize herself. She wasn't Toki anymore. Her plain features, lightly tanned skin, and hazel eyes provided her with a unique opportunity. She could be anyone she wanted to be. She could say she was from anywhere and no one would ever question it, since she didn't have any defining characteristics that labeled her as belonging to any one nation.
When she was satisfied with her disguise, she pulled her small bag of supplies from under her bed and slipped out through the window. With practiced ease she shimmied down the side of the building and the moment her boots hit the dirt she was sprinting away from the tavern and inn as fast as she could.
She ran until she was out of town, then slowed to a more comfortable pace as she searched for somewhere safe she could sleep for a while. She was headed toward the next town over, a port town that had recently come under fire nation control, and she wanted to be well rested so she could be prepared for anything. She came across a secluded spot just off the main road that looked safe enough and settled down against a tree. She closed her eyes and thought about her plan for what felt like the millionth time. She just needed to pretend she was from the colonies and get herself hired onto a ship's crew. That should be easy enough since she had disguised herself as a boy. Sure there were plenty of women in the fire nation army, but they were trained soldiers. Toki wasn't fool enough to think she would have a chance at getting a job as an untrained civilian girl. Not to mention the dangers of being a girl on a ship full of men. That alone was reason enough to pretend to be a boy. Once she was onboard a ship she just needed to keep a low profile until they stopped at a mainland port where she could slip away unnoticed and finally start a new life.
Toki jolted awake, not realizing she had even fallen asleep, and winced as the sun shined brightly in her eyes. With a sigh she pushed herself to her feet and continued her journey towards the fire nation port. It was around mid day when she finally arrived and she gawked at the ammount of red before her. Red tents, red flags, even the red clothes worn by all the soldiers, Toki had never seen so much red in all of her life. She cleared her throat and composed herself, not wanting to make it obvious that she didn't belong here, then walked into the town with determination.
Lieutenant Jee grumbled to himself as he received probably the twentieth rejection of the day. After their adventure in the south pole they had to release a couple of crew members due to injury, and as luck would have it Prince Zuko had picked a fight with commander Zhao and gotten them blacklisted before he had a chance to fill the positions. He had been through the entire port and all but begged the local captains to spare a man or two and received a string of rejections. They hadn't been too kind in their rejection either, making it very clear what they thought of him, the prince, and their mission. Jee sighed and mentally prepared himself for the long journey ahead of them with a shorthanded crew. The men weren't going to be happy about this. Jee was so consumed with his thoughts that he didn't notice someone, who was also completely distracted, walking directly in his path.
"Hey, watch where you're going" Jee snapped irritably when a small body bumped into him.
"I'm so sorry!" Toki apologized quickly. She was so consumed with staring at the different types of war ships that were docked all around her that she wasn't paying any attention to where she was going.
"What are you doing down here kid? Are you lost or something?" He asked with a frown.
"No sir, Im looking for work" Toki answered, attempting to make her voice sound slightly deeper.
"Looking for work?" Jee asked, eying the kid curiously. He was small and thin, probably a bit malnourished, and he doubted he could even lift the supply crates they picked up at every port, but Jee was desperate. "You got any skills?"
"Some," Toki answered vaguely. "But I learn fast and I'm not afraid of hard work" she quickly added, hoping to make a good impression.
"It seems to be your lucky day kid. A couple of my crew members were injured recently and the pickings are pretty slim around here for new crew members" he said with a weary sigh. Toki glanced around at the docks that were packed with soldiers, but decided not to look a gift ostrich horse in the mouth and just roll with it.
"I'm Lieutenant Jee" he introduced himself, placing a weathered hand on the kid's shoulder and leading him down the dock.
"Thank you so much for this opportunity Lieutenant Jee!" Toki said, sounding way more excited that she intended to.
"Don't thank me just yet" he muttered and she gave him a confused look. "So, you got a name kid?"
"Yes!" She said a little too quickly. "My name is uh...Toshi?" She said, cringing inwardly at how awkward and unconvincing that sounded. Jee didn't question it, he was just happy he found a living body to fill a spot on his crew.
"Well Toshi, welcome aboard" Jee said as they stepped onto a dock that lead up to a small, old war ship that looked pretty heavily damaged.
"Woah, what happened?" Toki asked, looking at the damage with a raised eyebrow.
"Uh, it's kind of a long story" Jee mumbled. "We've repaired the engines well enough to get us where we need to go, so the damage is mostly cosmetic now."
Toki nodded and followed Lieutenant Jee across the deck and through the door that lead inside. The inside of the ship was dark. The small lanterns attached to the walls helped some, but Toki knew if she wasn't careful she could easily get lost in the dimly lit hallways.
"This will be your room" Jee said, pushing open a heavy metal door to reveal a small comfortable looking room. Toki tossed her bag on the bed then followed Jee again as he gave her a tour of the ship and explained what her duties would be. Since she was technically filling two positions until they could hire another crew member, she would have to work in many different parts of the ship and help with whatever chores needed to be done. She even got to meet a few members of the crew and she was very surprised that they all seemed so jovial and friendly.
Once the grand tour was complete the two went back up to the deck. There were two men that Toki hadn't met yet standing near the front of the ship and Jee's posture went rigid as they approached. The older man looked friendly, he had a wide smile and a round belly that reminded Toki of her late grandfather. The younger one on the other hand looked like he could be trouble. He had a shaved head, except for a ponytail right at the top, and a large red scar that covered the left side of his face and made his angry glare look ten times more intimidating.
"Prince Zuko. General Iroh" Jee greeted them with a tight lipped smile.
Toki's heart skipped a beat as she froze mid-step next to Lieutenant Jee and stared at the two in shock. The prince of the freaking fire nation. She had gotten hired on to work for the prince of the fire nation of all people. She briefly considered running for her life, but decided against it when general Iroh turned to her with a warm friendly smile.
"Oh, who is this?" Iroh asked curiously when he noticed the new person standing by Lieutenant Jee.
"He's the new crew member thats going to be replacing Matsu and Shu after the incident at the South Pole." Jee replied, relaxing in Iroh's calming presence. "This is Toshi" Jee added, patting her on the back roughly and nearly knocking her over.
"It's nice to meet you Toshi!" Iroh said cheerfully. Toki was quite surprised that someone from the fire nation seemed to be so nice, let alone a member of the royal family.
"It's nice to meet you too" Toki replied with a respectful bow.
"Prince Zuko" Iroh called the grumpy looking Prince's attention since he only seemed to be halfway paying attention to the conversation.
"What Uncle?" He grumbled.
"You should introduce yourself to our newest crew member!"
"I have no interest in the crew" Zuko snapped, having lost patience with the interaction already. "We need to get this ship out of the harbor! Prepare to set sail immediately!"
"But there's finally someone else here around your own age! This could be a perfect opportunity to make a new friend!" Iroh exclaimed cheerfully.
"I don't need any friends! The only thing I'm interested in is capturing the Avatar!" Zuko replied, raising his voice.
"The Avatar? That's impossible, he's been missing for over a hundred years" Toki said with a chuckle.
Zuko's attention quickly turned toward the smaller boy as he fixed him with a particularly venemus glare. This peasant had been on board for all of five minutes and he was already shooting his mouth off. Zuko was going to teach this little pest not to mess with him.
Toki's eyes went wide in surprise as Zuko took two large steps toward her, stopping only inches from her face as he yelled, "Well I found him! And every minute of my time you're wasting right now is another minute he's getting further away!"
Toki stood there, holding his burning amber gaze in the most nonthreatening way she could while also trying to show him that he wasn't going to get her to back down. Having grown up in a tavern, she knew that the worst thing she could do would be to show these men that she could be easily pushed around and intimidated.
"Do not worry Prince Zuko, I am sure we will have no trouble catching up to him" Iroh said placing a hand on the Prince's shoulder and pulling him back a few steps so he was no longer in Toki's face. "You just need to be patient."
"I don't need patience!" Zuko turned on his uncle, yanking his hand from his shoulder harshly. "WHAT I NEED IS FOR THEM TO GET TO WORK AND GET THIS SHIP OUT OF THE HARBOR!"
Zuko sent Toki one last glare before turning on his heel and stomping below deck, slamming the heavy door behind him as hard as he could. The prince had yelled so loudly that some of the passers by on the docks had stopped what they were doing just to stare at them curiously before continuing on with their business. After the temper tantrum the prince had thrown, Toki decided that her life on the ship would be much more enjoyable as long as she avoided the prince as much as possible.
"Alright kid, let's get to work" Lieutenant Jee said, rubbing his head in irritation. Toki nodded and followed him across the deck to help him and the rest of the crew prepare for departure.