A/N: hello, this is my first time uploading to ffn so please be patient :)
As the bell tower tolled, the afternoon clubs and activities began their activities at Ouran High. The outdoor sports clubs grouped up in the fields within the large courtyard. You could faintly hear the calls from the players as they began their matches. Other clubs sat in the shaded areas under trees, holding meetings outside for nothing other than the nice weather. It was no longer as sweltering as it had been when school started that year. Autumn had begun to set in with chilly breezes and a sun that dropped lower in the sky. Despite the shortening days, many of the clubs continued to stay outside for hours at a time as being inside all day tended to create a bit of spring fever, or should I say autumn fever? The Host club at Ouran opened for their afternoon activities as well. However, they decided on keeping their guests indoors until they could plan for an outdoor picnic.
As the sky darkened, the sun sank low enough to send streams of light into Music Room #3 while the hosts said goodbye to their last few guests. There was still a meeting to sit through and arrangements to be made for the upcoming event. Of course, Tamaki had plenty of extravagant ideas that left Kyoya's eye twitching when he typed out an outline on his laptop.
"Gentlemen, our top priority is historical accuracy. The Renaissance was a period of scientific innovation, the rebirth of classical Greek philosophy and, of course, the creation of new styles and themes in the arts! Our event will be fun and educational as each host club member takes the guests through different parts of Europe!" Tamaki stood in his normal over the top fashion and began pointing out different members of the club. "Kyoya will start us off in Italy. Next, Hani-senpai and Mori-senpai will take Germany and Hungary. I'll take France and the twins can take Spain and Portugal. Renge said she'd help us out by taking England. And last, but not least, Haruhi can take her pick of Russia or the Northern European Renaissance!"
Haruhi put on a sarcastic grin and muttered, "Wow, I get to choose?"
Tamaki only smiled bigger, "Of course, you can! I can tell you that Russia has quite a bit of information despite being so far away from the epicenter of the movement."
Kyoya then interjected, "Make sure you study and provide factual information. We'll be closing the club early next Monday to work on posters. Hikaru and Kaoru will be providing devices for everyone courtesy of their father. You'll be designing your infographics on them."
"I guess I'll take Russia, then." Haruhi sighed while beginning to pack her things. "And don't tell me we're dressing up."
"Oh, don't be that way, Haruhi." Kaoru whined and Hikaru tagged on finishing with, "It wouldn't be the host club without costumes and dressing up."
"I suppose not." She replied. "I have to go. My dad wants to have a father-daughter dinner."
Hani skipped off the love seat that he and Mori were sitting on, "What's the occasion, Haru-chan?"
Haruhi's gaze softened with a warm smile, "It's Mom's birthday today."
The room was quiet for a few beats. The silence wasn't strained or awkward, just an acknowledgement of a thoughtful moment.
"Well, I hope you and your dad have a great time!" Hani gave Haruhi a side hug before skipping towards the side room. "Come on, Takashi! It's time for a bit of cake!"
Mori grunted in agreement and gave Haruhi a pat on the head. He drifted towards where Hani stood waiting. They both went through together leaving the door cracked.
"Good luck on the planning," Haruhi said once everything of hers was ready to go, "If anything new comes up just text me."
"Of course." Kyoya affirmed continuously typing.
Haruhi left quietly, the sound of the door signalling that she had gone.
The room lapsed into a less energetic atmosphere as Tamaki didn't move immediately to do or say anything. He sat in his chair, head on his fist, legs crossed, and a face that gave away his pensive mood. Kyoya, of course, didn't do more than he had to and was currently working on something. The twins surprisingly didn't leave after Haruhi did. They had begun to make a habit of it as most of the fun revolved around the reaction Tamaki would have to Haruhi. And as per usual, now that she had left, Tamaki was much more withdrawn. It obviously was brought to the attention of the twins who had agreed that when Haruhi left, it was like she took Tamaki's cheerfulness with her.
The twins, though, stayed put and seemed to be in mid-argument. They had made themselves comfortable on the wide window sill when the short meeting had started. They kept their place but instead of facing the room, they were leaning casually against the wall and facing each other. They spoke in hushed tones, just loud enough to hear each other speak, but everyone else in the room couldn't hear. In fact, Kyoya, the one closest to them, could only hear Hikaru's harsher syllables spoken with emotion.
Kyoya had really wanted to know what Kaoru was saying, but he was facing away from Kyoya with his head leaning against the glass. Kyoya could probably read Hikaru's lips since Hikaru was facing him. However, despite his curiosity, he decided to give them privacy.
Tearing his attention away from the twins, he focused on Hani and Mori's return with a cake in hand. Hani sat the cake down while Mori set the table. With a wink, Hani slid a small portion of chocolate mousse with flakes of dark chocolate on top in front of Kyoya. Deciding a short break wouldn't be remiss, Kyoya shut his laptop and got a small spoon from Mori.
"Kyoya?" Tamaki began. He shuffled from his chair to the table, pulling the table chair next to Kyoya out.
"Yes, Tamaki?" Kyoya answered while taking a bite of mousse. He savored its richness as he listened to Tamaki's ramblings.
"Do you think Haruhi is mad at me? I mean, she didn't act really that different today as she normally does, but I feel like she's mad at me." Tamaki whimpered while holding his head in his hands.
Kyoya let out a sigh. As he spoke, he watched Mori put the decorative strawberries from his piece of cake onto Hani's plate, "I believe she was annoyed with you today, but there's really nothing new there."
Tamaki wailed, "What do I do?! How can I stop annoying her?! I can't use my charm with her, she's completely immune to it! In fact, I think it makes her even more angry!"
Hikaru and Kaoru had finished their conversation and made to sit down with the rest of the members. Kaoru wore a blank face while Hikaru still looked bothered. Kyoya filed their expressions for further review. He wondered if he would be hearing what had transpired later.
"I think," Kyoya advised, "You should stop worrying about it."
"What do you mean stop worrying about it? THAT DOESN'T FIX THE PROBLEM."
Kyoya gave his signature smile, "On the contrary, I think that overreacting and overthinking would possibly make you more irritating."
"HOW WOULD YOU KNOW, KYOYA?" Tamaki snapped.
Just then, the other members watched closely to see how Kyoya would respond. Hani had paused his consumption of cake to stare wide-eyed, Mori next to him sat completely unfazed, and the twins, making up the seats between Mori and Tamaki, bent forward watching engrossed in the interaction between Mom and Dad.
Kyoya chuckled pushing his glasses up, giving Tamaki a side eye. "I believe I speak from experience."
Tamaki grabbed his chest dramatically. The rest of the club deflated as the tension went away. While the impact of Kyoya's statement wasn't as hard as it could have been, it must of hit deep for Tamaki.
"Of course," Tamaki admitted, "You know best. As my best friend and closest confidant, you would. Yet, you should also know that I could never be complacent."
Kyoya looked both amused, exasperated, and confused all the while keeping his sardonic smile. Tamaki reached out to Kyoya gripping his shoulder while the other hand gestured.
"You must know that I'll always take action. I could never stand still in a world that continues on without stopping. And when my heart decides that something must be done, my mind must take action to achieve my goals," declared Tamaki.
"Why can't your mind take the action of doing as you normally do?" Kyoya questioned taking another bite of his mousse.
"Because normal is making Haruhi mad!" Tamaki shouted.
Kyoya zoned out a bit as Tamaki went on and on about Haruhi and how a daughter shouldn't hate her father. Instead, Kyoya's eyes fell on Hikaru and Kaoru who have both been pretty reticent on the matter. It was quite unusual. Hikaru was content watching Tamaki's sporadic hand as he rested his head on the knee he had pulled up from the floor. He had relaxed and appeared to have dispelled his sour mood. Kaoru kept a strained look of indifference. It was a sharp contrast between the two. It occured to Kyoya that maybe Kaoru was the one who was angry and not the other way around as Kyoya had thought.
Again, he pushed the observation to the back of his mind for later. It was just in time as Tamaki was starting to wind down from his tantrum.
"Do you feel better?" Kyoya commented snarkily.
Tamaki only frowned.
"Well, I think Tama-chan should just ask Haru-chan," Hani added while taking another bite of cake.
"Yeah," Mori agreed.
Tamaki shrieked, "No way! Haruhi would eat me alive for bringing it up!"
"I mean, we're certain that she's not angry. I'm sure she'll tell you honestly how she feels and even tell you how to stop being so bothersome." Hikaru spoke up.
Hikaru's willingness to talk and Kaoru's explicit silence made Kyoya's curiosity grow. He had a few more ideas about what had happened between the two.
"I think one of the devils has a point," Tamaki thought out loud. "Tomorrow, I shall ask."
Coming to the conclusion of Tamaki's speech, everyone but Kyoya and Kaoru clapped. Whether their actions were genuinely supportive or to applaud that Tamaki's whining was over was hard to tell.
Eventually, the club members had to return home for the night. Mori and Hani left after finishing the cake. Tamaki was next, leaving the twins with Kyoya.
The music room's atmosphere was somewhat tense as Kaoru continuously ignored Hikaru. Kyoya didn't bother to do or say anything other than to finish his mousse. Once he was finished, he gave his full attention to the twins. He was hoping that his questioning glare would cause one of them to crack. He wanted to know what was happening for a number of different reasons from losing revenue to discord among the club. However, he was not successful.
"I'm going," Hikaru announced. He put a hand on Kaoru's shoulder, "I'll be waiting."
Kaoru didn't respond, didn't even look up at his brother. Kyoya saw anger flash in Hikaru's eyes before it was wiped away with a hurt look. Hikaru grabbed his bag from where he slung it onto the ground earlier. Kaoru's bag, next to it, slumped to the ground without the support. Hikaru then slammed the door shut on his way out.
.
.
Kaoru flinched slightly land dropped his gaze to his lap. He was in deep shit and he knew it. Hikaru was upset and reasonably so. Somehow Kaoru had managed to hit every single exposed nerve of Hikaru's. What's worse was that Hikaru didn't seem as angry at him as he should have been. It made Kaoru feel even more guilty. Though, what he did just then, had set Hikaru off. He was certain that once they got home, into the privacy of their shared room, he might just have to duck in fear of thrown objects. Not to mention, the amount of yelling that Hikaru might do. He knows better than anyone how incessant Hikaru can be. When he hurts, Kaoru must hurt too. But Kaoru didn't feel that was unfair because it went both ways. They always shared their pain, whether physically or emotionally. That's just how it's been.
However . . . Life's already begun to change for them. Ever since Haruhi busted down the glass walls that surrounded them, it's been a major stress on the twins. Hikaru and Kaoru weren't mad about this. In fact, they felt relief. Their whole life they lived as one. It was Hikaru and Kaoru, not Hikaru or Kaoru. They had each other through anything and everything. They could trust each other when anyone else could turn their backs on them. However, they were two people. Two similar but different people. And Kaoru was sure that he and Hikaru didn't realize just how painful this process of finding their own selves as separate people would be.
It felt like losing a limb. He needed Hikaru and though he could live without him, it wouldn't be the same. He would still feel that phantom limb, possibly feel that pain as if it was freshly cut. A wound that would never heal, at least not fully. And what was Kaoru even thinking? He chided himself over his dramatic analogy. It wasn't like Hikaru was dying or dead. It wasn't like they hadn't spent some time apart before. However, the conflicts the two were having individually were totally different.
So as the door slammed shut, it was a reminder of the ever-growing divide that was created between him and his twin. It was a reminder that despite sharing everything in their life all the way down to their DNA, they had interests that were already driving them apart. It was scary. He thought being alone with his twin was hard. But being truly alone, alone by oneself was a new feeling. Hikaru was mad about Kaoru's attraction to Haruhi, that was expected. However, Hikaru's reaction to the other thing . . . He couldn't have cared less. Kaoru wasn't sure whether to be angry, sad, or happy about the reaction. Regardless, it made him feel upset and his childish response had set Hikaru off.
"Well?" Kyoya spoke across the table.
Bastard, Kaoru thought. He clenched his teeth to keep the words that wanted to fly out caged behind his teeth.
"You two are behaving rather oddly today." Kyoya stated in a neutral tone. "Would you like to talk about it?"
Kaoru looked up from his lap. He had a lump in his throat and an ache in his chest. "I think you know what's going on." He whispered.
Kaoru didn't trust himself to speak any louder. He knew he was on the verge of tears. This kind of behavior is something Hikaru would do, and it made Kaoru's chest burn with anger. The aching being replaced by something more acidic.
"I'm not entirely sure." Kyoya disagreed.
Kaoru shook his head, "Then, don't bother making sense of it."
Kyoya shook his head. His face remained neutral so Kaoru didn't know if Kyoya would continue their conversation or just end it like Kaoru wanted him to. He wanted Kyoya to shrug it off and maybe Kaoru might be able to drop whatever was bothering him
"Have you made up your mind?" Kyoya chimed in suddenly.
Kaoru was confused for a moment before he realized what Kyoya meant and nodded his head, "Of course, I have. That was never really a hard one."
This caught Kyoya's attention, "I suppose."
Kaoru laughed coldly. "I like Haruhi, but I would never compete with Hikaru for her."
Kyoya hummed in agreement, "However, what are you truly upset about?"
Kaoru couldn't face him directly so he turned his head away. He held his head down enough so that his bangs would fall over his eyes. "What if I said there was another person I was interested in?"
Kaoru felt the urge to laugh again. He sounded like a middle school girl. One that was borderline obsessive. And he couldn't stop the hollow, barking laugh that did escape him.
"Kaoru, it's completely acceptable to be attracted to someone else," Kyoya reasoned.
"Not this person," Kaoru murmured. "I don't want to know the consequences of loving one peron, while also being infatuated with another. Especially since this person is special and different. And most notably not the opposite sex."
Kyoya didn't respond at first. Kaoru wished to leave, he was tired and humiliated. This was his problem that he was taking out on others. Kyoya's the last person to deserve the treatment.
"It's fine." Kaoru grunted. "I'll leave, Hikaru is waiting."
He stood up abruptly. The chair almost fell backwards but pitched forward correcting itself. On his way to get his bag, Kaoru felt a had latch onto his wrist.
"Kyoya-senpai, let go."
"I can't possibly imagine what's going on in your head at the moment. And can't imagine what it feels like to experience what you're experiencing," Kyoya began.
"Kyoya!" Kaoru interrupted.
"However," Kyoya continued calmly, "You assume I don't understand or haven't experienced same-sex attraction."
This made Kaoru freeze. It was direct and he hated it. "Kyoya," He tried again but it was weak.
"I understand feeling like it's going to end poorly. I understand feeling like it's forbidden."
Kaoru stopped pulling on Kyoya's grip and stood still.
"And I understand that Haruhi in this equation makes it all the more complicated," Kyoya explained, "You told Hikaru yesterday about Haruhi, and today about me."
Kaoru stayed silent.
"He was mad about Haruhi but relieved when you said my name. You haven't told him your decision?" Kyoya's question was more of a statement than a question.
Kaoru nonetheless shook his head. No, he hadn't told Hikaru. Kyoya continued.
"And the reason why you're mad because he, in that moment, was only caring about his chances with Haruhi," Kyoya's voice took on a more gentle tone, "And didn't really care that his twin brother had come out to him. Something that is important to you, not just from an identity and emotional perspective but also because it could mean severe consequences if anyone found out. Yet, he took it breezily."
"I didn't say it was you." Kaoru choked trying not to be so emotionally out of control. "I never mentioned your name so that he wouldn't do anything stupid. He was also mad about me for not telling him. For keeping secrets. But you're right, like you always are."
Kaoru looked up and saw in Kyoya's face as the pieces of the puzzle came together. Kaoru knew that he had the picture for the most part, but Kyoya was able to find the missing pieces.
"But he also seemed to get bored with that as well, trying to make me say it," Kaoru sniffed. "I'm tired of his games."
Kyoya let Kaoru's wrist slip from his hand. Instead, Kyoya put a reassuring hand on Kaoru's shoulder.
"I'm glad you told me." Kyoya said and Kaoru could see he was being sincere.
Kaoru smiled yet felt melancholy, "You're not creeped out that you have another crazy admirer?"
Kyoya shook his head, "I wouldn't categorize you anywhere near crazy admirer."
"Where would you categorize me?" Kaoru knew he was being cheeky as he wiped the few tears that did escape with the sleeve of his uniform.
Kyoya didn't respond but gave him a true smile. It wasn't one of his usual ones, but it was genuine.
Kaoru didn't ask again. He just got his bag and thanked Kyoya for hearing him blabber like a baby. Kyoya stood with his feet together, arms crossed over his chest with that warm smile.
"Anytime," Kyoya said, "I mean it. If want to talk to me, just call me, or text me."
Kaoru nodded and let the door to Music Room #3 close behind him. He watched as Kyoya's moonlit form in the now dark room disappear between the doors.
When Kaoru made it to the car, he tipped his head at the driver and opened the door to the back seat where he could make out Hiakru's head. He slid in next Hikaru but didn't say anything as Hiakru had his headphones on and turned up all the way. Kaoru waited for him to take them off to talk to him. It wasn't until after the driver was off Ouran property that Hikaru paused his music and pulled the headphones to hang from his neck.
"Did you have a nice talk with your boyfriend?" Hikaru joked.
Kaoru smiled again. He knew that maybe on the surface Hikaru's comment was harsh but it was really Hikaru's way of saying sorry.
"Why?" Kaoru asked bumping his shoulder into Hikaru's, "Jealous?"
Hikaru smiled while blushing.
.
.
Things carried on after that as they had for the past two years. Tamaki made girls swoon, Mori and Hani made them gush, the twins entertained the girls with their highly theatrical displays of 'Brotherly Love,' and Haruhi gave them someone down-to-Earth and easy to talk to. It was as it should be and Kyoya felt relief that Hikaru and Kaoru worked out the issue, or it appeared so. Kyoya was sure that Kaoru didn't bring it after that night, however Hikaru had made some sort of apology nonetheless.
Which was a good thing, and despite Kyoya's bitter feelings for how Hikaru responded to Kaoru, he knew Hikaru well enough to expect it. Despite Hikaru being an ass a lot of the times, he didn't do it out of pure maliciousness and was quite sensitive. Kyoya understood that Hikaru was still maturing and didn't nearly have the amount of emotional perception and comprehension as Kaoru. Which amazed Kyoya when he had met the inseparable twins and did to this day.
And starting with Tamaki's arrival, he began to notice how the individual differences started to shine more and more each day. Then, in came Haruhi who was most certainly the catalyst for that reaction making their change accelerate faster than it had before. It was obvious to Kyoya that the twins were simply having growing pains in response to their rapidly changing relationship and he could admit that maybe it was too quick. However, he reasoned that it was good for them. It was what they needed. They couldn't stay in their little world forever.
His thoughts were then interrupted by Hikaru entering his line of vision.
"So, Kyoya-senpai," Hikaru wondered, "What did you say to Kaoru the other night?"
Kyoya was waiting for Hikaru to ask, and surprised to say that he hadn't thought Hikaru would last until Friday.
"Hikaru!" Kaoru cried animatedly, still in Host mode. "It's a secret!"
Kyoya stayed quiet as the scene unfolded in front of him. The onlookers beside him being Haruhi, Mori, and a bunch of the girls.
"When did you start keeping secrets from me?" Hikaru bit his lip and turned fully away from Kaoru, the overexaggerated expression and tone made Kyoya want to roll his eyes.
"I'm your twin brother, am I not? We're supposed to tell each other everything."
"I-I'm sorry, Hikaru." Kaoru stammered. "I couldn't tell you before. However, now . . . ?"
Kaoru looked around the crowd with a few stray tears at the corners of his eyes. It was not how Kaoru looked when crying, Kyoya knew. When Kaoru cried his face turned red, especially across the bridge of his nose and onto his cheeks. His long lashes stuck together and his nose would run.
"I'm too embarrassed to say!" Kaoru wrapped his arms around himself.
Hikaru spun on his heels and made his way to Kaoru. He held his twin brother as Kaoru let his head fall onto Hikaru's shoulder. "Don't be embarrassed, Kaoru."
Kaoru looked up and the artificial tears he had dropped into his eyes came streaming down. "We were talking about you."
Kyoya's eyebrows quirked up without his consent. He wasn't sure how truthful Kaoru was going to be in his answer. He tried to hide his reaction by finishing his thoughts on his clipboard.
"You were?" Hikaru cried.
Kaoru nodded, albeit a little too sagely. "I always end up talking about you. You are, afterall, my whole world."
Kyoya began to write too forcefully onto the clipboard. He wrote himself a quick note to talk to the twins about better lines.
Nevertheless, the guests of the host club went wild. Kyoya saw out of the corner of his eye Haruhi putting a hand over her mouth as if she was about to vomit. Mori gave an entertained smile at her performance. Kyoya fought back the urge to smile at it as well.