Disclaimer:

I own no one and all rights and characters belong to Gene, the execs, everyone important. I like to mess with some storylines for fun.

Summary:

What if Beverly Crusher agreed to continue seeing the Trill, Odan, when transitioned to a female host's body. Could she overcome her initial reaction?

Odan had been transferred into his new host body and was eagerly ready to see his one true love again. There was some concern to how this may be received, but the love they felt and shared, quite passionately at times, between them, he believed, would overcome any obstacles. He knew the changes would be difficult, but this body would serve him well for many years, as it was strong, young and moved with fluidity than his previous host.

Beverly was in her office inputting medical records at her work station, when the door swung open, and Odan entered. Beverly was taken aback. She didn't consider Odan might be transferred into a female host body.

She needed a moment. She had to collect herself. Odan saw her visibly upset.

"I know this isn't what you expected, Beverly, but I am still Odan and I still love you!"

"Maybe, one day, our species can handle changes like this, but I cannot keep going on like this, never knowing what body you may be in next. I need stability, Odan. I do love you, but this isn't something I'm able to handle. I am sorry." Beverly tried her best to stay calm, professional and collected as she preached her personal values to someone whom didn't see things so black and white.

Odan stood up from the chair, reached across her station, lifted her wrist and gently placed a kiss. "I understand, Beverly. I will always love you." Even in female form, there was no denying the chemistry they shared. Beverly could see Odan spirit within the new host's form. She could see it in the eyes and body language. She could still feel the love there.

Odan turned and walked out her office, leaving Beverly confused, saddened and unsure of herself.

"Beverly, but do you love Odan? Are you unable to get past the physical form and see into the heart of the person you fell in love with?" Deanna didn't hold back. With Beverly, she could be more blunt, because love was love in her eyes, and she would have no issues with a same-sex relationship if the love were pure, were true.

"Deanna, I don't like when you say it in that way. As though I'm homophobic..."

"Are you?"

"No!" she began defensively, but she hesitated, and Deanna glanced her eyes at her. "It's just...it's just that I prefer the physical intimacy a man provides and I'm unsure I can adjust to new changes."

"Beverly, come on now. A woman can perfectly deliver just as much physical intimacy as a man. Sure, it'll be somewhat...different, but not necessarily less than."

"Deanna, don't push. I know you mean well as a counselor..."

"No, Beverly, this isn't me being a counselor. This is me being your friend."

Picard was enjoying a few hours off, in his captain quarters, invested in a classic novel from the historical and timeless 19th century American literature, when his intercom alerted him, startling him from his book.

He pressed his communicator. "Yes!" A slight irritation to his tone at having been interrupted.

"Jean Luc, may I take a moment of your time?"

He snapped his book shut.

"Of course, Beverly, what is it?"

"May I visit you in your quarters for a few minutes?"

"Certainly. When will you arrive..."

The alert to his doorway sounded. 'I suppose you're here'.

"Come!" he called out. The doors to his quarters swished open. There she stood. He gestured her forward.

Beverly walked in, smiled at him, and he motioned for her to sit down across from him. He noted the worried look on her face.

"Is something the matter?" fully understanding, of course, there was. So many years of knowing the other, serving with each other, Jean-Luc never skipped a beat.

"Yes." she replied frankly. "It's Odan."

Picard felt a prickle of jealousy sting inside, but those days were long past and he'd have to put those angsty emotions on another shelf where he dared not reach.

"What about Odan, Beverly? Is it his new host body?" He hadn't realized Odan's new host body was a woman now. He assumed the changes from male body to body would be challenging enough.

She looked up toward him, the slightest hint of tears behind her eyes. She was steely determined not to cry. She'd been emotional enough.

"You know me too well, Jean-Luc." She put her gaze back towards her lap again. With a deep breath, she collected a few thoughts and glanced at him again. "I am...I was...madly in love with Odan. I hope you're okay with me speaking of this to you." He nodded. He understood her hesitation to open up with him.

"Yes, Beverly, go on."

"His new host arrived earlier today, in my office, and I was stunned to find him in a woman's body. I should have considered the possibility it would happen with the Trill, but I assumed he'd ask, or request, or choose another male form. I feel selfish and shallow for even speaking of this. I'm confused, Jean-Luc. To have these feelings, these strong emotions towards someone, but my preference has always been men. I...I couldn't make the adaptation and told him...her...Odan so."

Jean-Luc Picard, Captain of the Enterprise, a grand master of eloquence, didn't know what to say, other than a few simple words. He was surprised and took a moment to take a collected sigh and firm his gaze into her eyes. He dropped his head slightly, but kept his eyes fixated on hers.

"But you love Odan. I can see it in your face, in your eyes. Explore your feelings before settling on a yes or no decision, Beverly. Odan will be on the ship for a few more days before we send him to the delegation conferences."

"He's not "him", Jean-Luc. Odan is a her, now."

"Don't avoid Odan because you're afraid of change, Beverly. You may come to regret it and I speak from experience."

Beverly headed to Ten Forward. Perhaps Guinan would be there. She needed someone to listen, but to point out different viewports to a situation she was unable to see. Guinan had those powers. She was more than a listener to people's problems. She was virtually bonded on a spiritual and telepathic level with most everyone in high command positions, as well as those in lower decks. She didn't care your rank. She cared you tried your best and saw through the best solution within your heart. She was ancient compared to human timelines and she knew what she was talking about.

Guinan was pouring drinks for a few other off-duty personnel, but never looked up to see who was coming toward the bar. She didn't need to.

"Hello, Beverly. I'd ask what brings you here at this late hour, but I don't think I really need to state the obvious." Guinan busied behind the bar, preparing to make a favorite of Beverly's. Picard's Aunt Adell's famous hot toddy.

"I'm glad you're here, Guinan. I needed to see a warm face and sit here in some solace." Guinan knew better, but allowed Beverly to sit in the relative quiet for as long as she needed, which wouldn't be long.

Beverly took a sip of her warm beverage. She set it back down, twisting the glass around in slow circles, a clear sign of agitation.

"Guinan. Have you...this is so very personal and none of my business, so please don't feel you need to answer this..."

Guinan placed her hand overtop Beverly's. "Why do you need to hear it from me? I think your heart knows the answer."

Next: Chapter 2