"Bless the name of those who
Have dealt you blows.
Be grateful to those who
Have caused you harm.
For it is these sufferings that
Have led you to me."
She's seen her fair share of nature documentaries and received postcards from friends and family from other states. But feeling the warm breeze gently enveloping her and the smell of pine trees everywhere around her makes Hope County feel more like a home than the streets of Chicago ever managed to do.
The Hope County clinic is small and secluded, her accommodation is not even half the room she has at home, but she is content. She spends her days tending to small wounds, mostly cuts and scrapes, sometimes broken bones or dislocated joints the locals get from their farm work. The people of Hope County are hardworking but satisfied from what Leah hears. She smiles shyly at the expletives they shout out when they are particularly in pain, listens intently to their stories and politely declines invitations to come out to the local bar. Many ask her what a girl in her late twenties is doing in 'bumfuck nowhere Montana'.
She always tells them about her Nurse Practitioner degree, but the reason she came here changes from time to time. Sometimes it's charity, sometimes it's expanding her horizon.
She remembers the last sermon at her church about charity before she left, Pastor Smith wildly gesturing with his arms while he rambles on about charity being one of the ways into heaven. After all, the love and care we show to others is a true reflection of the love that God has put in us.
She remembers her little sisters puffy and red, tear stained eyes as she holds onto her mothers' hand, crying and crying while Leah walks through the gate to get onto a flight to Montana. She doesn't know why Leah is leaving. Her mother tells her that Leah is full of sins that she needs to atone for. Tells her that Leah is now unclean after she let two boys touch her. Leah never tells her mother about the knife that was held to her throat that night.
When the man in a sweater with a red cross on it stands in the door of the clinic, she's weary. Dr. Connors tells her about a 'cult' all the time. Calls them Peggies with the sort of venom in her mouth that Leah vowed to never use when talking about another person. Dr. Connors is nice, she smiles at Leah when she tells stories from back home about her church, her family and her life. But the smile isn't genuine, it's a smile that would be given to a child that tells you it just gained another imaginary friend or the smile the girls at university gave Leah when she declined to drink or party in favor of studying.
The man talks to her about the Father and how he will protect them from something he calls 'The Collapse'. The devotion in his eyes is something Leah has only ever seen in Pastor Smiths' eyes. He tells her how they will all march to Eden's Gate together. Leah hears the name Eden's Gate on the radio sometimes, but as soon as that happens, Dr. Connors changes the channel. It is clear to Leah that the doctor has a strong aversion to the man standing in front of her. But still, she doesn't say anything to him. She tolerates him, but not out of respect Leah later learns.
Dr. Connors sits her down after the man has left and tells her to stay away from them as far as she can. Leah listens intently as she was taught.
"Damn Peggies, you're here for a month and they already start extendin' their claws towards you. Now if you're ever out and about and you see em', you run as fast in the other direction as you can, you hear me sugar?"
Leah catches herself fiddling with cross around her neck more often that day. She wants to know what Eden's Gate is teaching. She misses her community at home, her parish and her church. She lays in bed that night feeling conflicted. She values Dr. Connors opinion and deeply respects her. But she longs for community, moreover community rooted in the word of God.
The word of the Father is heavy in her hands, the white binding of the book still pristine and without damage. It's a stark contrast to her old and beat up Bible that she keeps in her bedside table.
The first time she speaks to the Father a warm feeling rises in her until she feels her cheeks flush pink and the hair on the back of her neck stands up. He is soft spoken, embraces her when she tells him the reason she came to Hope County. Leah could not lie to this man even if she wanted to. She's pulled into him so much that the edges of her vision darken and all she sees is him.
The second time he speaks to her, she has just opened the heavy door of the church in the compound after Dr. Connors told her that she could no longer work at the clinic. Leah knows she found the word of the Father in her room.
She knows she should not interrupt a sermon, but she feels empty and helpless just like the day her parents turned away from her. The attending members turn towards her, dark and worn out faces with squinted eyes.
Leah tries to wipe the remaining tears off her cheeks when he calls out to her to come closer. Her mind is too clouded to realize the tattoos on his torso or the sins etched into his body.
Hot tears roll down her face again while she kneels on the hard floor in front of the Father while he looks to the sky and his arms are extended upwards. He is asking for her spirit and her life. He requires her to relinquish all of her and give herself entirely to the grand plan for when the Collapse comes. Her throat gets tight and a sob threatens to burst out of her while he exclaims that they will march to Eden's Gate together as one.
Her hands are shaking when she is embraced by all the people in the church, the soft murmurs of her new family surround her. Leah writes a letter to her family that night, not knowing she will never send it to them.