Authors comment – Hey guys! Thank you so much for reading this story! The events in this fic are based on some shit that happened to me with an old boyfriend of mine, I've even used quotes from my diary in places. Please do feel free to give me suggestions or any feedback at all! Hope you enjoy! Xxx

Chapter 1 – I'm so fucking stupid

I'm so fucking stupid

That was the thought that was racing through her mind

I'm so fucking stupid

Why had she come here? What was she doing? Why wouldn't he stop

I'm so fucking stupid

This is my own fault, I should have seen this coming, I'm so fucking stupid…

AN HOUR EARLIER

Hermione Granger was standing in front of the mirror, finally happy with what she saw.

It had taken her the best part of an hour to put together this look, but it was worth it. The skirt was perfectly grazing her upper thigh, suggestively. The checked shirt slightly open, hinting but not bearing all. She wanted to look special, she wanted him to be stunned when he saw her.

She paired the look with a pair of simple black ballet flats and the special bracelet she had received from her parents for her 16th birthday. She was so excited to see him; she had missed him these last few weeks.

One final check over…and Hermione was ready to go.

-/-

Driving down the winding roads, she could hardly contain her excitement and joy.

She hadn't seen him for 3 weeks! 3 long weeks! There wasn't a minute that went by where she hadn't thought of him, she adored him.

They hadn't been dating long, well not when you factored in the actual time they had been able to spend together. Viktor was often away; training, playing in a game or visiting his parents. This time he had been taking part in a vigorous training scheme, put together by his, rather demanding, coach.

They had only been on four real dates, but with each one Hermione found herself becoming more infatuated with the tall surly quidditch player. There was something about him. The way he looked at her, with that steady, stern stare, that invited her in and made her want to take a closer look, to explore the puzzle further.

As she finally pulled up outside the house he was renting, she took a minute to compose herself.

Hermione checked her watch, 11:56, she had four minutes. Viktor wasn't a fan of earliness, or tardiness, he liked everything to be perfectly timed.

11:57, she gathered her things and began hurrying up the immense driveway.

Being a man of wealth, Viktor couldn't rent a simple cottage for his time in the UK. He had to rent, what Hermione thought of as, a small mansion!

The winding driveway was lined with trees, she could hear water running from the fountain she knew to be in the back garden.

12:00, she reached the double doors and rang the bell next to them.

The door creaked open, revealing the immaculate Viktor Krum.

He was dressed in a simple button-down shirt and black jeans, but even in these he looked impressive, tall and dark as he was.

'Hermoninny, pervectly on time I see, enter'

As Hermione crossed the threshold, she marvelled (as she did every time) at the beauty of the place.

The floor was white venetian marble. The walls a calming shade of grey. Large windows looked on to the beautiful green gardens, as Victor lead Hermione through to the large sitting room.

They both sat down on a large brown sofa and caught up on each other's business from the past few weeks.

After hearing about Viktor's long hours training in varying degrees of bad weather, Hermione suggested that they relax and watch a film. Viktor agreed and finally they both decided on Romeo and Juliet.

She was happy, she thought, as they snuggled up on the sofa. Finally, happy. She never thought she would feel this way after Ron had gotten together with Lavender Brown. Everyone had been so shocked, plain little Hermione Granger and an international quidditch star? It couldn't be possible! It had even made the papers, she remembered with a chuckled, 'Seeker star with golden trio bookworm?'

She was ripped away from this thought by an odd sensation. Victor was pulling down her underwear and creeping his hand closer to her nether regions.

'Oh, no Viktor darling' she protested politely, as he began massaging her dry opening, they certainly had never done this before!

'Vat is wrong with you, Hermioninny? You are not pleased so see me after so long?'

'N-no of course not darling its nothing!' She quickly stuttered in reply, not wanting to offend him 'I'm just tired that's all' she said sweetly, trying to pull his hand away

But he was stronger than her and her pulling seemed to have no impact. She began to panic, her mind racing fast. He was her boyfriend, she liked him but she just wasn't ready for this. It was too soon, too rushed

'Viktor, darling, please stop' Hermione cried in panic, the feeling of his nails scratching again her opening was starting to hurt

'Don't be prude Hermioninny!' He growled, with a rage that both shocked and shook her to her core

'Please please stop' she begged continuously

But he ignored her cries and a flash of pain shot through her as he stuck two fingers inside her bone-dry pussy

She felt a tear trickle down her cheek. She felt sick, why wasn't he listening? What was going on?

She realised with a flash of horror, that the sounds of her tears were causing him pleasure as she felt his member become hard against her thigh

What could she do? Regret filled her as she thought of her wand in the car outside. He was pinning her arms down now with his free hand, holding them above her head

Gasping in pain as his ministrations inside her caused her to draw blood, the reality of what was going to happen next came crashing down around her and she felt her heart quickening as the panic came to a head inside her

And then she was numb. Floating above the scene. An unfeeling stranger in her own body. The detachment was a welcome escape from the panic and terror of a moment before, her thoughts foggy and faint. Her mind was as blank as the white tile she was gazing at on the floor.

She continued to stare at this tile as she heard the sound of his zipper, as she heard his trouser fall, as she felt him push into her

She heard herself cry out without seeming to make the sound herself

It was like she was dead, floating above the scene, a mere spectator, a ghost

She watched her body as it shook in pain and fear, she watched the tears dripping down her face without seeming to feel any of them

Blood was trickling from the small indentations from his nails as he gripped her hips tightly, slamming into her as hard as he could

Hearing a loud groan issuing from Victors lips, she realised that it must be finally over. He was done with her

But even after he had exited her she found she couldn't move, the numb sensation still enveloping her

Hermione lay in silence as she saw him redress and resume watching the film out of the corner of her eye, one thought bold in her mind

I'm so fucking stupid