Mothers
By: Aviantei
Prologue: What it takes to Stay Alive
The Journals of Marisa Kaleigh
December, 1999
I really don't feel like talking about this past year much. It's been a difficult time, with graduating and moving out and going to America. It's enough to drive anyone bonkers, really, but I guess most people would be happy. I already have a stable job, I'm doing what I love, and there's no reason to think of the future so pessimistically.
The problem here is that I was caught off guard. I never thought I would be so stupid as to fall into the trap of a one-night-stand. He was just so handsome and we were both drunk and in the morning he apologized like a gentleman and tried not to show off his engagement ring. I didn't even bother to get his name, but maybe that's for the best.
I know the reasonable thing would be to abort the kid. Moral questions aside, I don't want to bring a child into this world that I'm not prepared to take care of. After all, he/she's my responsibility since I went through the act that made him/her exist. I don't want to just send him/her into some orphanage, either. There's no guarantee of adoption, and plenty of other kids out there that need homes for reasons other than their parents were too lazy to keep them around.
I just… I don't know what to do. I haven't told anyone. Not my parents, not Akemi. Mum and Dad just got over the idea of me not living at home, even though it's been a year. Akemi's about to get married to Bansai. I can't just ruin that for her.
And here I was, criticizing all of the girls who dropped out of secondary school and university to deal with their kids whose dads wouldn't own up and commit to them…
I've been thinking about this for a while. Like if I can manage the money and time to take care of a kid. I make good money, but my work schedule is horrible. I'm sure that Itami would understand, but I'm still uncertain… Having kids is a hassle. I really didn't expect to be having any until I was at least thirty.
But I'm not. And there's this tiny kid in my stomach, one who's going to be too old to get rid of soon. I'd be able to go through with the procedure well enough, but if the fetus develops too much, it's not safe. And really, there's this tiny, tiny part of me that wants to have it.
I know, I know. It's stupid. It's motherly instincts coming into effect, a bout of evolutionary psychology that hasn't gone away. I'm a mother and I'm trying to protect my kid. I want to take care of it, want to see it. I want to be able to hold a kid in my arms and raise it and know that I brought it to life.
Even someone like me can't take the idea of condemning the life inside me to some coffin of a jar.
I really think I can manage this. I think I can handle raising this kid on my own. I've kind of been saving extra money ever since I found out. I have the savings account that's been building interest ever since I was born. I've calculated the amount of money I need to spend every month on bills.
I really, really think I'm going to have him or her.
It's stupid. It's really, really stupid. A long time ago, I promised myself that I wouldn't have kids until I was married and had a good husband to support me, but I guess that isn't going to happen. I'm breaking my promise to my past self.
I just guess I never realized how badly I wanted to be a mother.
August 23, 2003
"I don't understand, Bansai. What were you even trying to accomplish with… with this?"
"What was I trying to accomplish? I'm afraid I don't know what you mean."
"My best friend is dead! Your wife is dead! How can you just expect me to sit here and not do anything about it?!"
"You shouldn't get so hysterical, Marisa. And I don't intend for you to not do anything."
"Damn right, I won't! This was murder, and I intend to make you take responsibility for it!"
"There is another option. One that doesn't have to end that way."
"Well, I sure as hell don't see one."
"It's simple, really. If you just conceal the truth, then we can continue like this never happened…"
"I refuse."
October 3, 2022
Once the tears started falling, Yumihiko had to close the book. He wanted to keep reading, but ruining the ink with tearstains wasn't an option.
They really are exactly the same.
The moment when your net connection resets so you have to retype your author's note.
But! I'm back to write for the Ace Attorney fandom! As noted, this is the sequel to All That Counts. While I'm going to try and make it not necessary, reading it is highly recommended.
All That Counts was written before a patch for Gyakuten Kenji 2 was even remotely conceived (a patch I have yet to play). The characters are based off my impressions from playing the game in Japanese (with my limited understanding) and what I was able to glean off the wiki. As such, I developed a sort of internal universe hitch where the new characters were kept as Japanese, while any character from an officially translated game was set to their nationality within. Due to the fact that I'm attached to it, and rewriting character relationships isn't really something I want to do before I can continue this saga.
Japanese character names will be written in the family name-given name order (Yumihiko is then written as Ichiyanagi Yumihiko), while English names are written in the given name-family name order (Heather is then Heather Kaleigh).
That aside, this is as much of Yumihiko and Heather's story as it is of their mothers'. I hope this turns out to be an enjoyable journey.
Since I work on several stories at once, the next chapter of this will probably be released in July.
Next time, dinner, a letter, and the promise of a journey.
[POST] 021115