A/N: This is a one shot that I wrote as part of something else, but things change - so I've listened to the people who have been encouraging and decided to publish – it is set between Molly's visit to our poor wounded Captain in his hospital bed and their fateful lunch in Bath, and we all know what happened next ... Btw, I know about the rogue word 'for' that is in there, just don't know where it came from or how to get rid of it !

-OG-

She had never fainted in her life, had maybe passed out once or twice from a bit of over indulgence, on one memorable occasion ending up face planted in her mashed potatoes, but fainted? No, never, but she'd gone all muzzy and peculiar with cheeks that were boiling hot and hands like blocks of ice as everything drained away like water going down the plughole. She was just about managing to put one foot in front of the other, to walk, although she didn't know how exactly, it was a bit of a miracle seeing as her legs were shaking like jelly as she focused up on the middle of Jackie's back and concentrated on not throwing up. Everything would be okay, as long as his Lady Luck or the gods of whatever were listening and didn't let her puke. Please, not here, not now, Jackie would never ever forgive her.

It was shock, it bloody had to be, she'd been alright before they'd come inside and she knew from training that adrenaline from shock can do all sorts, make you go fuzzy and light-headed and turn your knees to water and that, so that was all it was, she had to keep telling herself, it was just the shock of him being there when he was the last person she'd expected to see and no-one had bleeding warned her.

She'd spotted him the second the bloke on the organ had started up with 'Here Comes the Bride' and they'd begun to walk up the aisle, and there he was, she'd known it was him straight off even though he had his back to her, there was no mistake even in that sea of khaki and even before he turned round to look at Jackie and her dad. He'd lost a shed load of weight so that his uniform looked way big on him, which maybe wasn't surprising in the circumstances and well, he'd always been quite slim really, his waist and hips a bit on the skinny side to be honest, but the rest of him had made up for it with his broad shoulders and muscles. But right now he looked as though a good hard shove would snap him in two or send him flying, as though he needed feeding up or something.

She knew all about losing bloody weight. Belinda kept on at her all the time, every time she said she wasn't hungry her mum kept asking her whether she'd got one of them eating thingies, and was it to do with what had gone on in Afghan, and even Jackie had bollocked her earlier when she'd put on her frock, had accused her of going on a sodding diet. But it wasn't like that. It was her hands. They were never completely clean of the smell of blood, especially of his blood. She could smell it whenever she went to eat anything, and it didn't matter how many times she reminded herself that she'd worn gloves, or how many times she washed her hands or how much soap and hot water she used to scrub them raw, it was still there, so that her appetite had disappeared, vanished so even the stuff she normally pigged out on tasted all wrong.

-OG-

"Lovely"

She'd put the frock on with a sinking feeling in her gut, and had used his favourite word because that was what she did these days, copying him had become an habit, a bad one she was going to have to break once she'd got through this. She thought, no she bloody knew, that she looked anything but lovely "Bit on the big side though innit?"

She bent forward and pulled a face as she looked at herself in the mirror. The dress wasn't her, she didn't suit pink floaty shit, but then it wasn't as if she hadn't known what it was like when they'd bought it. Her and Jack and Jackie's mum had gone to this place in Coventry that was choc full of white sticky out wedding dresses, all of them with glittery bits and bobs on them and beads and bits of lace and loads of net and all sorts of shit that Jackie had loved, but that she'd hated. If she ever did manage to find some bloke to marry, one that hadn't got lost on the way so that he'd ended up marrying someone else, she wouldn't go anywhere near that sort of place, that sort of dress. Simple, that's what she'd have, but simple was probably a swear word in a place like that, same as cheap, and simple and cheap just about covered her options. She had better things to do with her money and her mum and dad didn't have an American Express like Jackie's mum.

By the time they'd got to the bridesmaids' frocks she was desperate to get out of the place, so had just gone along with it all, but she hadn't thought she looked like she was wearing her bloody nightie. Not then.

She ran a hand over her head and pulled another face. If wearing a nightie wasn't going to be enough for the lads to be ripping the piss out of her for the next ten years, even though she wouldn't be part of 2 Section anymore she'd still see them sometimes, or at least that's what she hoped, then her hair would be the bleeding icing on the cake. The twat of an hairdresser who'd been posing and prancing around Jackie's bedroom showing off how camp he was by wearing horrible skin-tight pink jeans which showed off the bulge of his dick and had rips and hair dye stains and funny coloured bits where he'd spilled bleach, had pulled her hair back tight enough for it to hurt and then pinned it into this huge curly bun thing on the back of her head, sticking flowers in it here and there. He'd totally ignored all her howls of pain and protest that he was pinching her scalp and pulling her hair, and she bloody hated how it looked. She hated it even more than she hated the frock and that was saying something. It didn't even look like her hair and it certainly didn't feel like her hair, it didn't even feel like real hair. He'd used about two hundred hair grips and at least a whole tin of industrial strength lacquer so it looked like her head had been dipped in that varnish that does exactly what it says on the tin.

She thought she looked like an alien. An alien wearing a bloody pink nightie.

"Shit, I look bleeding TERRIBLE, Jacks" She twisted around and turned backwards and forwards in front of the mirror trying to see the back view, when she caught sight of the expression on the other girl's face and suddenly realized that she was possibly upsetting her "No offence mate"

"Oh no, perish the bloody thought" Jackie allowed her huffy sarcasm to show as she raised her eyebrows and forced a laugh, baring her teeth in a rictus grin "Stop fishing for compliments and shut up, it's fine"

"Really?" Molly looked at herself again in the mirror, and then shook her head "Sorry don't mean to …. But it's not, really it's not"

"Take it off and I'll get mum to have a look, see if she can do something with it, you know, take it in a bit" Even though it might not have been strictly Molly's fault that the dress was a bit on the generous side, it felt like typical Molly Dawes, trouble following her around as usual. Jackie was pretty sure it was going to take a minor miracle for her mother to make the dress fit in time for the wedding, but she had to try, the photos were going to be crap unless they did something.

Molly lifted up the skirt of the dress that was supposed to be tightly nipped into her waist with a full skirt flaring out around her, but wasn't, it was hanging off her instead, and sniggered "'ere, Jacks, is it s'posed to be big enough for me to get a couple of squaddies under 'ere with me if I get bored"

"No it bloody isn't, and you are not going to get that sort of bored, not at my wedding … slapper" Jackie looked around hastily, suddenly worried that her mum might be somewhere within earshot "It's your own fault Molls, you shouldn't have gone on a diet"

"I didn't, honestly Jacks, I never, tell you what I think, I reckon the shop might of got it a bit wrong, maybe mixed up the dresses or something" Molly gave her a weak smile, she could hear just how lame that sounded, even to her, but couldn't think of what else to say.

-OG-

He'd called and texted a couple of times but had then given up, probably because he was well pissed with her. She'd hadn't seen him for a month, well more than that, four weeks and three days to be exact, and she hadn't spoken to him either and it had been one of the longest four weeks and three days of her entire life. It wasn't that she hadn't wanted to talk to him or keep her promise and go back and see him, the day after she'd got home on leave she'd lied and told her mum and dad she was going to Birmingham to see Smurf in the hospital and had almost got on a train, but then she'd had this sudden flash of something, reality or fear or something or other. What the fuck was she going to talk to him about? His wife and little boy? Thank him for her medal? Cheers, thanks Boss, then what? Ask him if they'd really stopped waiting out? Whether he'd resigned his commission yet and put his career down the shitter? He might not even remember telling her all that, he'd been pumped full of morphine when she'd seen him, and she should know what that did to people, she'd seen enough of them be away with the bloody fairies when they'd been given it. No, she needed to think about it a bit more and then get a later train when she'd sorted it out in her head.

So she'd wandered round and ended up drinking endless cups of tea in some café near Euston, telling herself it was a bit late now and that she would go to Birmingham another day, but by that time she knew she wouldn't, that she was kidding herself. So she ended up killing more time till she could go home without having to explain anything and had told even more lies when she got there, telling herself it was the right thing for her to do and that she'd get over it.

But she wasn't over him, not yet, not totally, well, nowhere near in fact, she missed him, missed thinking about him, missed that feeling she used to have of somehow belonging with him, even if it was only in her head. The only time she'd been able to get any peace in her nut was when she was out pounding the streets and not thinking too much, when she'd been trying to get tired enough to sleep when her head hit the springs, instead of spending night after night tossing and turning for hours on bloody end, remembering and going over and over everything in her head.

The thought of spending a whole afternoon surrounded by people she hadn't seen since their medal parade, lovely as they might be, but without him, was something she was dreading. Hearing people talk about him, mention his name, ask about him, talk about how he was getting on, even if they weren't talking to her, was something she couldn't bear to think about. It would be Cyprus all over again.

-OG-

Abigail and Florence, the two little bridesmaids that Jackie was convinced her mum had hired from some agency, although her mum said they were second cousins twice removed or something, looked adorable in their pink flouncy frocks with flowers in their hair, Molly wished she could say the same. Jackie's mum had done the best she could in the time she'd had and it did look a lot better than it had, but she'd warned her not to move her arms about too much, or anything else for that matter because it was held together with tacking stitches and safety pins, so the least little bit of pressure on the seams would lead to her showing off her knockers or her knickers, in church. But at least it didn't look like someone else could get in it with her any more.

There was a crowd of people in khaki and a whole bunch of girls in pretty frocks all milling about outside the church laughing and chatting, and loads of kids making a huge racket playing round the gravestones, although their parents were probably making more noise yelling at them to pack it in or they'd get all messed up.

"Dawsey, DAWSEY"

Suddenly there they were, this whole group of familiar faces all crowding round, pushing and shoving each other out the way as they competed to get close enough to rip the piss out of her as she stood there in fancy dress.

"Oi, Smurfy, SMURFY, look, over here mate, look …. It's Mrs Smurf" He was pointing down at her head as he tried to get Smurf's attention then grabbed hold of her under her arms to lift her up.

"Fuck off Baz"

Molly was just a fraction too late to stop herself blurting out that she had to be careful else her dress would fall apart, knowing as she heard the words leave her mouth that telling this lot something like that was asking for it, they'd make it their mission for the afternoon to make sure of it.

"Nah, come on pack it in you lot, don't want to make a spectacle of meself"

She could hear the wheedling, pleading tone in her voice that was greeted by a chorus of loud laughs and hoots of derision and invitations for Smurf to comment on the possibility of her showing off her tits in public. She couldn't help wondering what the hell he'd been saying to them this time, it didn't seem to make any difference what she said, they still kept on with insisting the two of them were an item. Although she had to admit it probably had something to do with her going along with the Vegas shit, although they hadn't actually booked anything yet, it was on the horizon and short of being downright nasty to him in front of his mates, which she didn't want to do, she couldn't see any way of getting them to just leave it. But despite everything she was going to miss this lot, another ten days and she'd be back in her own unit and they'd probably forget all about her.

"What's he like then?" Dangles nodded his head in the direction of the groom who was enjoying a fag with his best man round the corner of the church. He was obviously not sure whether smoking was allowed, judging by the way he kept looking over his shoulder and cupping his palm round the lighted cigarette in his hand.

"He's okay I s'pose" Molly shrugged and looked round "Don't know him that well, but, you know, he's alright"

Molly had always had a suspicion that Dangles had a soft spot for Jackie, but it was definitely far too late now for any changes of heart, and as far as Molly was concerned 'alright' just about summed the groom up. She didn't know him that well but had spent several evenings trying not to be rude and yawn as he'd talked about his job in logistics. In her heart of hearts she thought Jackie had settled for someone who wasn't going set anything on fire, nice enough bloke, charming even, or so Jackie said, but dead boring as well as a bit short and a bit on the plump side. But then Jackie had made no secret of the fact that she wanted to get married, and that he'd do, and he was alright, although Molly knew that if she was talking to the boss about him she'd have made him laugh by saying alright was a euphemism for 'a boring tiresome git'.

"Here, Molls, what you done to your hair? Looks ….. a bit …dunno" Mansfield slung an arm round her shoulders before almost sticking his nose on it as he made a close-up inspection, then scratched his head with a puzzled frown on his face.

"Are you sayin' my hair looks a bit shit?"

"Nah, I wouldn't say anything like that" He looked almost as if he was about to burst into tears as he turned a horrified face in her direction making Molly a bit sorry she'd said it.

"Don't worry, mate, it's not mine, I borrowed it off an alien"

"Did you?"

"Yeah, couldn't you tell?"

A look of total bewilderment appeared on his face. He sort of knew he was being well and truly wound up, but she'd said it with such straight faced conviction that he wasn't 100% sure about what, and there was definitely something different about her hair.

'

-OG-

She managed to get through the service and out the other side without making a tit of herself, she hadn't thrown up and had stood up and sat down and followed the happy couple about without doing anything peculiar to draw attention to herself and now they were stood outside the church to take photos, lots of photos, with the whole bloody lot of the wedding party in all sorts of different combinations. Again as far as she knew she'd managed to smile in all the right places, which was a fucking miracle in itself, seeing as how her mind was somewhere else entirely.

She could see him out the corner of her eye where he was stood in the middle of a circle of the lads and they were all talking and laughing, and obviously having a great time catching up, all except her, and she had to keep saying bloody 'cheese' for the photographer, except he obviously thought he was trendy, so kept telling them to say 'sex' instead. Wanker.

-OG-

"Daaawes"

He was biting his lip and smiling at her, drawling out her name in a way that took her straight back to Afghan as he raised an eyebrow and nodded to indicate the glass in her hand "Champagne?"

"Hello …. umm nah thanks, already got some"

"Indeed … yep, I can see that ….. but that's not quite what I … it's alright, it doesn't matter, I was just surprised to see you drinking alcohol, I thought you looked a bit pale in church, that you might not be feeling so great"

"I'm fine now thanks"

There was no way she was going to explain her wobbly, not to him, even though she couldn't think what the fuck to talk about now he was standing in front of her with those beautiful brown eyes of his all concerned. God, she'd missed him.

"Nice frock"

"Really? Glad you think so" Oh god, now she sounded like she was fishing for compliments.

"I do actually, don't you?" He was laughing when she shook her head, searching around for something else to say.

"How are you, how's the leg?"

"As you can see" He gestured towards the support boot "Back home to Bath after this"

God, this was crap, standing in this little bubble of awkwardness and both struggling to know what to say. This was why she hadn't got on that train, this was what she'd been afraid of, it was her worst fucking nightmare come true and he must be regretting that he'd come over to talk to her, was probably looking for some way to get away. She didn't think she could bear it, the way they could talk for hours without trying had been one of the things that had made her feel the way she did about him.

"I'm sorry I never … that I didn't…" "It's really good to see …" They both started talking at the exact same moment and then both stopped, again at the same moment, and then both laughed with a tinge of embarrassment.

"Go on, after you"

"Nah, it's alright, I was just gonna say I'm really dead sorry I never … that I didn't …."

"Molly, forget it, don't worry about it …. Look, I need to ask you something before that lot over there decide to come and join us" He nodded his head in the direction of the lads who were standing in a small huddle watching their exchange with undisguised interest "Lunch on Friday in Bath, I mean, would you like to have lunch on Friday, I'll book a table in a nice restaurant and we can talk properly …. catch up …. only if you'd like to that is"

"What, with you?"

"No, I thought I'd ask for Mansfield who's on his way over here by the way ….. of course with me … I'd really like it if you said yes"

"Yeah, I'd really like that as well … lunch with Mansfield I mean"

"Of course, what else"

-OG-

for