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Penny stared out the window to the only slice of sky visible, watching the snow swirl through the air. The flakes wound through the cracks between the buildings as the wind drove them down, pushing them against the walls. Back and forth they hit the bricks until they rammed against the glass. It blew open after one particular gust sending Penny falling back and the rest of the children shivering in their beds.
Penny glanced behind her then hurried up, pulling her sleeves down over her hands. She brushed the snow settled on the windowsill out and before shutting the glass, reached out to try and touch the bricks of the next building over. The tips of her fingers brushed the rough material but she was still too small to reach further, so she wiped off the snow sinking into her shirt and closed the window. Her nose burned at the contact with the glass but she held it there to watch the snow plop down on the garbage pile below.
A sliver of moonlight illuminated the alley before her. Penny turned her face to the side allowing the moon to shine on her. She did so for a second, imagining the warmth and magic seeping into her face before her breath fogged the glass. She pulled back and with one last look outside Penny smeared her hand through the condensation.
She turned away from the outside world and looked on the one she lived in. Beds lined the walls on either side of the room filled with small lumps under sparse covers. Penny stopped when she got to Ned's form and saw his blanket on the ground at the foot of his bed. The boy was a notorious sleep roller.
The material was matted and had sparse threads around the edges but Penny laid the blanket diagonally on the sleeping boy making sure it covered his shoulders and feet. His pajama bottoms were cinched around his calves from his latest growth spurt and Penny hoped Mrs. Delores would get Ned a new one when he fully outgrew it.
Her bed was positioned next to Ned's. Winter's grasp was beginning to cling to the air, nipping at the snow melting on her sleeves and belly. She pulled the sheet up over her body and tucked her legs up to her chest, suppressing a shiver.
Penny lay there, body curled up under the covers like a pill bug. Her breath heated the tent she made with the sheets and kept her hands heated long into the night.
Sleep was a distant friend and it wasn't until her eyes were heavy and the cold froze her bones that Penny fell into a fitful rest.
"All right, everyone up!" The rough voice commandeered her sleep and stole it away. Penny flinched into her pillow and groaned when the lights turned on. "I said up and I'm not going to ask twice."
Mrs. Delores punctuated her greeting with a slammed door. The yawns and groans of the other waking children filled the room and Penny wanted nothing more than to continue to lay in bed for the day.
Sitting up she rubbed her eyes and swung her feet off the bed, tip-toeing to the sink at the edge of the room. She stood waiting behind a line of children as they each brushed their teeth. More awareness filtered into her eyes by the time it was her turn and she looked into the mirror before glancing away. Penny grabbed her toothbrush ignoring the frayed ends and went on with her daily washing.
Her hair was almost past her shoulders. The curls fluffed past her ears and down the nape of her neck. Penny took the community comb off the sink and dug it through the curls, pulling them straight. She grimaced when they bounced back no straighter than before.
Penny hated those curls. She hated how they never looked neat or laid flat, and she hated how Mrs. Delores would sit her down in the chair and chop it off when it grew too long. Chunks of hair would fall to the floor and in some parts her scalp would be left exposed. Mrs. Delores would snicker each time, stating Penny and the others should go to a proper hairdresser if they wanted something better. The other children would pat her on the shoulder, the same she would do to them when it was their turn, but even their sympathy wasn't enough to rid her of the feelings she would get when she looked at her hair.
At least now the curls were ample enough to cover her ears. On the few occasions she was sent to do errands, people would comment on them, sometimes tugging on them.
Penny glanced up again and looked at her eyes. They were dark brown, framed by the circles under her eyes. Her cheek bones poked out, shadowing the skin underneath. She avoided looking in the mirror again while she spit in the sink and went to get dressed.
Once everyone was done they reported down and received their chores for the day. Mrs. Delores had a headache again and everyone knew there would be no goofing off today. Penny headed to the closet, grabbing out the wash bucket and mop before heading to the basement.
The stairs were wooden and Penny could see the bowing in them from the top of the steps. She tried to make out the shelves below but they were cloaked in black.
The light switch was located at the base of the stairs. Penny swallowed and stepped down. She continued one at a time dragging the bucket behind her. Each time she stepped it would hit the wood with a loud clang. Penny flinched at the sound but her legs wouldn't hurry any faster. The fifth stair was loose so she jumped over to skip it. She landed firm and was sighing with relief when the bucket came swinging down, hitting her in the back of the legs and sprawling down the steps. Her vision erupted with black spots when her head hit the cement.
When she opened her eyes a moment later Penny found herself on the ground. She rubbed her head and with wide eyes glanced at the top of the stairs. No one was coming yet but she didn't allow herself to lay there and be caught slacking. She scrambled up, gathered the fallen bucket and mop, and continued with her chores.
The light flickered but only lit a part of the basement. The other bulb must be out and she made a mental note to ask for a new one. She swallowed again, her throat itching when she realized she would have to take the bucket into the next room. The door was shut but she knew what was located behind. Keeping her eyes on the crumbling cement Penny grasped the handle.
Her hand trembled but she turned the knob sending the door creaking open. Puffs of dust snowed down from the ceiling and Penny coughed as it coated her head. She stared to the left overlooking the corner in front of her and headed straight for the sink.
Penny hefted the bucket out keeping the sloshing of the water to a minimum and added some cleaning products to the water. Dragging the bucket out she ignored the corner and shut the door tight.
The bucket came up to her hip and she raised the mop into the water. It splashed onto her and she shivered but continued working. Mrs. Delores wouldn't be happy if her list was unfinished by the end of the day.
The water grew murkier as she scoured the floor until every bit of dirt and grim was wiped clean. Sweat percolated on her brow and her socks soaked through. She put them hanging off the stair ledge about halfway through in hopes that they would dry by the time she was done.
She dumped out the contents of the bucket into the sink. Then cleaned the sink around the edges and exited the room as fast as possible.
Penny was careful to avoid the fifth step and not trip ascending the stairs.
She scrubbed the floors on the landing, the stairs, and the dormer before striping the beds and taking the laundry down in the bin for Mr. Stevens. After dumping out the bucket in the basement she was sent to the kitchen.
The door was firm behind her back and her exhausted legs took the support it offered. Penny's eyes closed as she concentrated on keeping her breaths even, glad she could have a moment to herself. Fatigue sent tremors down her arms and into her fingers.
The sound of a certain set of footsteps had her backing away to the over side of the room with urgency. The bowl of untouched potatoes sat on the counter and her stomach clenched at their sight.
Mrs. Delores entered the room. Her dress flared out and settled on the ground as she stood large in Penny's eyes. Penny held herself still moving her eyes to the ground and hunching her shoulders inward.
The woman sighed. "Why isn't this done yet?"
Cold coiled in her stomach. Her eyes followed Mrs. Delores's movements as she came closer.
"I'm sorry."
"What was that? I couldn't hear you, girl."
"I- I'm sorry, Mrs. Delores. I'll do them right away." Penny fought to keep her voice neutral but couldn't help the higher register it took and the woman took a step closer. The cabinets dug into her back but she pressed closer to them, willing herself distance.
"It had better be done."
She nodded before realizing her mistake.
"Look at me when I'm talking to you." Mrs. Delores said and Penny couldn't help but glance up at the venom in her tone. Her eyes widened at the raised hand. Penny knew to stay still but she couldn't help the small whimper that escaped her. It was quick but powerful against her small her head, whipping it to the side and ricocheting off the drawers behind her. "You know to address me with respect. Do I really need to tell you again?"
Her eyes watered and Penny concentrated on Mrs. Delores's forehead so she didn't have to look into her eyes. This time she apologized with the proper respect and blank tone. The woman sighed before wetting a dish rag and tossing it at Penny.
"That should help. Get to work, girl." She continued to mumbled about insolence but turned away.
Penny stood still until the door closed. When it slammed shut she staggered back. The ground rose up to her knees and tears leaked from her eyes. They cascaded down her cheeks and onto her shaking hands, which lay clenched on her thighs, gripping the dripping rag on her pants.
She sat on her haunches knowing she should get up and shake it off. There was food to prepare and there would be bigger consequences if it wasn't ready but the sniffles wouldn't stop. The cool rag stung against her cheek but she knew it was better than the sore feeling the next day if she did nothing.
Her rasping breath was the only sound in the room until she hefted herself up. Penny wiped the tears on the back of her sleeve and grabbed the peeler, ignoring the ache clouding her head.
Dinner was ready on time.
Ned stared at her from across the table as they laid the plates and silverware down at each spot.
"What happened?" He said glancing at the door to make sure no one was coming.
Penny ignored him and began polishing one of the forks which had food crusted on the handle. She tried keeping her sore cheek away from him but his eyes zeroed on it the dark red bruise.
"Penny… Did she?"
"Stop, Ned. I'm fine."
It wasn't safe to talk about it in the open and Ned understood that. He nodded and continued to set the table. When they made it to the end Ned touch her wrist, pausing her motions.
"I'm worried about you, Pen." He said with a light squeeze.
Her eyes teared up but none fell this time. She turned her wrist and grasped his hand in hers, hating herself for being glad he was here with her. Penny's first friend.
"Really, I'm okay. The old bag can try her best but she can't beat me down."
It was, perhaps, poor wording and they both winced with soft smiles.
Penny stayed in the kitchen, not feeling hungry and knowing there wasn't enough for everyone. She had dinner the night before anyway. Ned winked at her when he brought his dish back to the sink. He was followed by the others dropping off their own plates, some of them smiled at her but most avoided eye contact.
By the time she was done scrubbing her hands were raw and matched the bruise on her cheek. They ran out of gloves earlier in the month and Mr. Stevens hadn't brought anymore in his weekly deliveries. Even without the gloves she didn't dare stop until the plates were done and the shaking in her fingers was back.
The room was dark when she got made it upstairs. There was a group in the corner playing some sort of game but most of the others were already sleeping in their beds.
She knew hopeful wishes laced their dreams tonight.
Ned whispered when she got to the base of their beds. Penny wiggled under the covers but could barely make out his face in the dim lighting. As was the custom over the years she knew they were both smiling or making a goofy face at the other.
The floor below her bed was dusty but she felt along with her hand until she found the piece of paper. Cobwebs made their home on top of the paper from months of sitting there. With a blush on her cheeks she launched it over the gap in their beds. She also sent over a small match so Ned could see what she handed him.
Ned was silent and Penny wished she could see his expression so she could know what he thought of the homemade card. She knew her drawing wasn't the best but with the materials she had it turned out pretty well.
Something brushed against her bed. It wasn't until she felt the warmth and grasp of fingers on her wrist that she knew Ned was trying to find her hand. Penny twisted her arm and latched onto the boy's fingers. They engulfed hers and made the cold in her bones recede.
All of the kids, sleeping and dreaming of better lives, would know the truth of their situation on waking. There would be no magical savior coming through the night, leaving presents and eating cookies left out. Come tomorrow everything would be the same.
But here and now, a spot in her heart grew at the thought that today of all days Ned was here with his warm hand in hers, and even though tomorrow would have none of the traditions of family, maybe their homemade cards and goofy faces were enough on this merry night.
"Merry Christmas, Penny." Ned whispered.
"Merry Christmas."
I went through and edited this on 4-27-20.
Let me know what you think, please!