Prologue
"'Ere she eez, my boy," announced Marie Brightmore – Niles' mother – delicately passing over the small bundle to her son. "Your little girl...!"
Niles took the baby in his arms in a mixture of both awe and sadness. Yes, this was his little girl – Charlotte, he'd already decided, would be her name. Charlotte Brightmore. She was one of two daughters, the other of which it had been agreed he'd never see. That was the arrangement that he and C.C. had come to, after the whole...situation they'd found themselves in.
It hadn't started off as a 'situation'. If anything, it had begun because of a 'situation' between himself and Fran. Namely, a situation in which neither one was speaking to the other. But Niles hadn't been by himself for all of that time (which, he sometimes thought, hadn't been the good idea it had originally seemed to be). Instead, he'd found himself spending more and more time with the blonde producer; they'd gone out as friends, taken pottery classes together, played pranks as a team, instead of on each other...
And their words had taken on a... flirtatious tone. So flirtatious, in fact, that they'd actually ended up going out on a date.
A single date. But that had been more than enough for them to end up in bed.
Everything that had happened after seemed to have been designed by some deity that held a grudge against him. And it had all started when he'd woken up, still blissful from a night of passion, only to realise that the other side of his bed was empty. To him, the truth had been evident: C.C. had obviously woken up, seen him, and she'd probably felt embarrassed and ashamed of having spent the night with him - with a mere butler - and had decided to leave before things got any further out of hand. He should have realised sooner that she would – she was the upper class, powerful, millionaire Broadway producer, and he was nothing to her. Nothing but a servant, who lived in someone else's house for the express purpose of keeping it clean. Nothing but an insignificant butler who made less money in a year than she could make in a month. Maybe even a week.
He was nothing but a mistake that she'd quickly had to fix.
With his heart breaking in two, he'd tried to go about his day after that. Fran had noticed his sour mood, and he'd suddenly found himself with a shoulder to cry on. They'd quickly re-established their friendship, and things returned to normal for them. Not that C.C. had realised that, it seemed. She'd come back into the mansion later that same day, trying to be all playful with him for reasons he couldn't understand (perhaps she was intending to use him as some sort of bedwarmer, until she found a wealthy businessman that she could ensnare and intended to keep). But Niles hadn't been having any of it – he'd coolly stepped away when she'd gone in for a hug or a kiss, or whatever she had intended on doing, and even if she'd been a little bit put out, she hadn't taken the hint.
That had come when she'd tried to insult Fran's clothes later that day. He'd turned around and told the producer that she was one to talk, considering the closest thing she'd ever worn to couture was on display in a museum in Turin. Things had fallen apart after that. Their insults were back immediately, harsher and more designed to hurt, and the pranks soon followed in the same vein, growing more elaborate and better designed to humiliate. The tension didn't stop growing until Fran and Maxwell's wedding, when one too many neat scotches had led to them ending up in bed again, only this time there wasn't much in it apart from anger.
He'd woken up before her the following morning. Upon seeing her sleeping form on the bed, cuddled up flush against him, Niles remembered feeling an intense sense of dread and shame - like he'd failed. Failed at staying away from the one woman he simultaneously adored and reviled. The one woman he couldn't bring his heart to let go, no matter how bad things were between them. It had briefly crossed his mind to wake her up and ask her to go (it wasn't like she'd stayed last time, right?) but he simply hadn't been able to. She'd looked so peaceful next to him, so content...
He hadn't been able to bring himself to disturb her, so he'd spent the next few hours just looking at her sleep — just relaxing into the feeling of her warm body against his own, breathing in her natural scent, and relishing in the relaxing, steady cadence of her beating heart, which he'd easily been able to hear if he pressed his ear to her back. The feeling of well-being he'd felt had been intoxicating, and just like any drug, it had made thinking rather...challenging. Well, maybe not thinking per se, but rather logical thinking. He'd only been able to think about how he didn't want this to end — how maybe he'd been a bit too rash to throw away his chance with her. How maybe, just maybe, he should have talked to her, rather than just pushed her away. Perhaps, if they'd talked, they would have managed to…fix things. Or, at worst, they would have parted ways more amicably. How, maybe, they'd be able to talk when she woke up.
He'd wanted to fix things with her. He'd wanted things between them to work out. He'd wanted her.
She had always done that to him: no matter how turbulent and tempestuous their relationship was, his heart wanted it. Wanted her, with all her flaws. He could hate — and certainly had hated — her all he wanted, but that hadn't changed the fact that she was everything he had ever wanted and more. He knew that she was damaged, that she could be cruel and uncaring, as well as prejudiced and snobbish. Still, it didn't change the way he felt about her. If anything, it made him want her even more. It made him love her even more…
He'd come to the realisation that he was in love with her years ago, when he'd admitted to himself that behind their little prank war there was genuine affection. Genuine feeling. He'd come to look forward to every new round — every new step in a dance only they knew. He could have stopped it at any moment, but neither had wanted to. It was the way they'd functioned. Undoubtedly, they were two fucked up individuals, but he really hadn't cared. Still, he'd never made his feelings known. The fear of rejection had been paralysing, but most of all, he hadn't wanted to risk losing her. After all, as long as they kept pranking one another, he'd reasoned, it meant she was going to stay in his life.
In a way, it had been better to pine from afar than to not have her at all...
But after so many years of skirting around the issue, Niles had felt exhausted. He'd reached a breaking point - they had, really. Pranks and teasing were all fun and games, but they'd crossed a line when they'd gone to bed together. Twice. They'd acted on their feelings, something that had never happened before. Clearly things had to change, and for some reason Niles had been hopeful that that morning could be the start of a new chapter. He'd hoped they would finally put the last of their defenses down and actually talk.
Sadly, he'd dreamt too much.
And everything had come crashing down, in return...
When she'd eventually woken up, embarassment and anger had come hard and fast. He'd tried talking to her, but he'd only managed to say her name before she pushed him away and sprung out of bed, ready to make a quick exit after recovering and putting on her clothes from the previous evening. He'd asked her to please stop - to stay there for a moment longer, so they could talk. She hadn't been interested, of course - she'd said there was nothing to discuss. That it had been a mistake, just like the first time. He'd pushed back, insisting that they needed to talk because it made no sense to keep on fighting forever. In hindsight, Niles thought that that probably hadn't been the most compelling argument to have a heart to heart. She'd laughed at the notion, and said there was no point in trying to fix something that was already broken beyond repair. He'd never cared about clearing the air before, so why would this time be any different?
She'd spoken those words as she'd finished putting on the midnight blue strapless she'd worn at the wedding. Her shoes had quickly followed.
Niles still wasn't exactly sure what had prompted him to say what he'd said next — maybe it had been the sight of her being about to leave. Maybe it had been the notion that, if he didn't take drastic action, then everything would be lost forever. All his hopes and dreams for a happier future. A together future. So he'd gotten out of bed and gone up to face her. He'd asked her one more time to please stay, and when she'd inevitably asked why, he'd said those four cursed words:
"Because I love you."
He hadn't been expecting the slap she'd given him in return. "Don't you dare," she'd said coldly, a furious glare fixed on his own shocked eyes. "Don't you fucking dare!" she'd repeated, screaming...
Everything had gone to hell after that. Voices had quickly been raised, nasty words had zoomed to and fro, and any remaining hope of reconciliation in Niles' heart had been crushed from existence. They'd both said terrible things that morning, but the moment she'd said that she was dropping him, a "pathetic excuse for a man passing as a sub-par maid", just like he'd dropped her, it had been the moment Niles' bif, fat mouth and wounded ego (as well as his broken heart) had taken over. He'd called her a mistake — the worst one he'd ever made, actually — and that she was just an easy lay.
That had been it for them, after that. They'd barely been able to stand being in the same room together, and their pranks had only reached a peg or two away from destroying the house around them, much to the frustration of the Sheffields.
And it had all ended, with one final call and prank.
The phonecall in question had happened a little over two months after their fight. Niles had been mildly surprised that C.C. hadn't simply talked to him during their work hours, but considering they essentially weren't on speaking terms, he supposed she'd felt calling was the...easiest option. She'd asked if they could talk. That it was important. He remembered wanting to punch the wall when she'd said that. She'd had some nerve! She hadn't extended that kindness to him when he'd asked, so why should he do it? Why should he care? He'd been determined not to. So, instead of doing the reasonable thing and sitting down with her to discuss whatever it was that she'd had in mind, he'd opted to pull one last nasty prank on her. Naturally, he'd agreed to a talk and had told her to come over for breakfast the next day, and sure enough, she had taken the bait. She'd arrived almost an hour before she was due to clock in, looking strangely pale and unwell. Her state had almost made him feel bad about what he had been about to do...
Almost.
He'd opened the door and watched her with apparent indifference as she'd gotten out of the taxi she'd taken to the mansion (much later, after their final fallout, Niles would forever curse not having picked up on how odd it was that she had taken a taxi rather than driving to work, as she usually did) and carefully walked over to the entrance steps…
The entrance steps he'd woken up two hours ago to wax until they were as slippery as a sheet of ice.
Just as expected, Babcock's pumps had skidded across the steps the moment she put a foot on them. With a yelp, she'd lunged to grab onto the handrail, only to find it was coated with a thick layer of black paint, which had gotten all over her hands and clothes. Instinctively, she'd let go of the handrail and had fallen, face first, onto the steps and slid all the way down to the curb. He'd fallen over himself laughing, of course, but had he been less of a vindictive asshole, he would have noticed that, when she'd realised she was going to fall, she'd immediately wrapped her arms around her middle, and her left hand had impacted against one of the steps and had been broken.
He would have also picked up on the hateful glare she'd given him the moment she'd managed to get back to her feet, aided by a few passers-by, who had shot dirty looks at the laughing butler. The moment that had brought him back to reality was when the producer had thrown one of her shoes at his head. She might have been hurt, but the woman had had near perfect aim!
She'd screamed at him to go to hell before throwing her other shoe at him. He'd answered by barking he'd been in hell from the moment she'd first started working at the mansion. The comment had only spurred her on, and she'd quit on the spot after calling him a loser, who lived off his employer and would never amount to anything. Clutching at her arm but not even attempting to get her shoes back, she'd marched off into the street and had hailed a taxi.
It had only been as she'd opened the cab door that she'd screamed back towards the butler.
"I'm pregnant, you sick son of a bitch!"
The announcement had crashed over Niles like a tidal wave, and it was then that he'd realised just what he'd done.
Oh shit. It was all he'd been able to think. Oh shit, oh shit, oh shit...! She...Miss Babcock...C.C...she was pregnant! She'd come to tell him! Come to tell him that he was going to be a father! And he'd just...let her fall down concrete steps on her stomach! He'd let her hurt her wrist! What the hell had been the matter with him?! He'd just let the woman carrying his child – two children, as he'd later found out – nearly have a devastating accident and he'd just stood there and laughed like it meant nothing!
Utter terror, deep sorrow, and regret beyond imagining had torn through him as he'd then yelled out for her to wait. Pleading as his body had sped up to try and catch up to her. To run after her before she could get in that cab and out of his reach...
But he'd only made it down one step before he'd slid himself, falling and landing heavily and painfully on his own stupid backside! And she'd seen it all, huffing in his direction before loudly demanding the cab took her to the hospital. She'd gotten in while he'd scrambled to his feet, not caring at all about the bruises he'd already been certain that he would have by lunchtime, and the vehicle was off and moving down the road by the time he'd made it to the edge of the sidewalk.
Not that that hadn't stopped him from trying to chase it. Because he had. He'd chased it, yelling and begging for her to come back so they could talk...perhaps for more than was a dignified distance, but he hadn't cared. He'd only stopped when the car had sped up too much for him to keep up.
But that had been the end of his chase. He'd spent the next few weeks calling her, and only getting her answering machine. He'd wanted – and had asked, desperately – to help, to make up for what he'd almost done. And nothing had come of it, until she had deigned call him to offer a deal. The one arrangement she'd apparently thought they could have.
She'd been almost four months along when he'd finally been summoned to her penthouse and has been showing quite a bit. He remembered wanting to comment on how beautiful she'd looked – on how well impending motherhood suited her and how big her bump was getting, but he'd kept himself in check. He'd been well aware she wouldn't appreciate his pleasantries, and no amount of sweet words would have made their… rendezvous…any easier. Instead, he'd simply greeted her unwelcoming glare with a court "Miss Babcock" before they'd both made their way to the sitting area in the living room.
They'd remained in silence for quite a while, neither really knowing what to say to get the ball rolling. Niles had eventually given a meek first step in the right direction by offering to fix her something to eat, to which she had begrudgingly agreed. She hadn't wanted anything to do with him, that much had been obvious, but the thought of a homemade breakfast and some tea (coffee had been a big no-no at the time) had sounded great, in C.C.'s mind. It had also presented her with the perfect opportunity to drop yet another bombshell on him: she was eating for three.
Not for two. Three…
But that had been the end of his chase. He'd spent the next few weeks calling her, and only getting her answering machine. He'd wanted – and had asked, desperately – to help, to make up for what he'd almost done. And nothing had come of it, until she had deigned call him to offer a deal. The one arrangement she'd apparently thought they could have.
She'd been almost four months along when he'd finally been summoned to her penthouse and had been showing quite a bit. He remembered wanting to comment on how beautiful she'd looked – on how well impending motherhood suited her and how big her bump was getting, but he'd kept himself in check. He'd been well aware she wouldn't appreciate his pleasantries, and no amount of sweet words would have made their… rendezvous…any easier. Instead, he'd simply greeted her unwelcoming glare with a curt "Miss Babcock" before they'd both made their way to the sitting area in the living room.
They'd remained in silence for quite a while, neither really knowing what to say to get the ball rolling. Niles had eventually given a meek first step in the right direction by offering to fix her something to eat, to which she had begrudgingly agreed. She hadn't wanted anything to do with him, that much had been obvious, but the thought of a homemade breakfast and some tea (coffee had been a big no-no at the time) had sounded great, in C.C.'s mind. It had also presented her with the perfect opportunity to drop yet another bombshell on him: she was eating for three.
Not for two. Three…
Niles had barely been out of his seat when she'd let him have that information. It was actually lucky, because it meant he'd had something soft to fall back on. That had certainly made a change from the last time he'd fallen over in her presence...
Three. Three had meant that there were two in...in there...twins.
The word had burst in his head and his heart like a firework. They'd have twins! Two little ones that he could love and adore, two little new people running about the world that he'd helped to create, two children of his own that...that...
That he hadn't even known if Miss Babcock would let him see.
The happiness had fizzled like the end of a magnificent, colourful explosion at the very thought. But the memory of it had remained and he'd kept it. He hadn't been able to do anything else; he couldn't help but adore his children immediately. That would never change. His joy had, however, been marred by the worry of what Miss Babcock would think. What she had clearly already decided to do. She had obviously wanted him to know she was having twins, but how much would she let him see them? Would she let him know them at all? Would he be allowed to be the father he'd always wanted to be, or would he be little more than a stranger?
His guilt still gnawed away at his insides. He'd quite honestly doubted if he'd let him be a father, after that.
He needn't have worried, of course – he knew that now, as he was holding one of his children in his arms, but at the time his role as a parent had felt…uncertain. Though, if he was being honest, his worries hadn't been completely unfounded, and while he would be a father to Charlotte, he wouldn't get to be one to his other daughter, Amelia. Amelia Brightmore for only the briefest of times, before she turned into Amelia Babcock.
That had been part of the Goddamned arrangement he and C.C. had eventually agreed on. On paper, it had sounded "easy" (as easy as these things could be, at any rate) enough: when the twins were born, Niles would keep one child and C.C. would keep the other. They would go their separate ways and never talk to one another again. Niles hadn't been happy about any of it, but Miss Babcock simply hadn't wanted to compromise – she had been (probably still was) that angry with him. The only consolation he had, was that the agreement specified that, when the children came of age, they'd be free to look for their missing parent if they wanted. He very much hoped Amelia would want to meet him some day, but he would have to wait for her to come to him, and not the other way round.
There were plenty of other special provisions, though – the team of lawyers that had assisted them through the process had made sure that there were no loose ends. So, for instance, while they would have to eventually relinquish custody of the twin that wouldn't live with them, contact between the parents was required and allowed should the children be gravely ill or if something happened to Niles or C.C. that meant they were unable to care for the child in their charge. He'd also gotten the eye-watering amount of 65 million dollars for Lottie's upkeep, courtesy of the Babcock family, who had wanted Lottie to be kept in the same life as her sister Amelia (a life a mere butler couldn't give her, of course).
It had been strange, going from being a middle-aged servant to a multimillionaire in the space of a few hours, but he supposed he'd get used to it. He knew how to adapt.
But, as strange as it sounded, becoming a millionaire overnight hadn't been the strangest thing he'd had to do – no, that had undoubtedly been having to marry Babcock herself. Their marriage was a sham, not to get him wrong, and while C.C. was officially Mrs Brightmore, he was sure she'd kick his backside if he dared refer to her as his wife. They'd gotten married at the Town Hall, with only Stewart and Noel Babcock as witnesses. Obviously there hadn't been any celebrations, or rice-throwing – afterwards, both he and Miss Babcock (who, at the time had been four and a half months along) had promptly returned to their respective homes, wanting nothing but to forget what had transpired that afternoon.
Marriage was just a means to an end – a way for the girls to be able to obtain British citizenship through him. British law stated that, in order for children to obtain British nationality through the father, the parents had to be married. Considering Lottie would be cared for by a British national, it made sense for her to be one too.
And it made even more sense now, since Niles intended on moving back to the UK. That hadn't been his first idea, when he'd first found out he would be having a child – he'd actually hoped to stay in New York, out of C.C.'s and Amelia's lives as per their agreement, but close enough to get to them quickly should anything happen. He'd tried to be there for C.C. throughout her pregnancy – help and care for her, considering she was carrying twins and she couldn't do chores around the home or cook to save her life. He'd been adamant she needed daily nutritious meals rather than that frozen pre-made crap she'd liked so much, and to rest as much as possible for both her and the twins' health.
But she'd refused him at every turn. She hadn't wanted him anywhere near her, including when she'd had to go to the OBGYN for her check-ups. Niles remembered being sick with worry, and he'd spent nights on end despairing about C.C.'s adamant refusal for help. They had eventually had to reach a compromise, when it had also become evident to the former producer that taking care of herself and her home while carrying around a jumbo-sized belly was an exhausting and near-impossible burden.
So, while she hadn't accepted his help, she had accepted Marie's. The Frenchwoman had been well aware of the goings-on between the two people she now privately called her "eediot children", and she'd offered to be the neutral party between them, providing help and care for C.C. in Niles' place. Much to the butler's relief, C.C. had grown to adore Marie (his mother's words, not his own), and had allowed her to move into her penthouse for the duration of the pregnancy. She'd also been the only Brightmore allowed in the delivery room when C.C. was giving birth – Niles had been denied that privilege too.
He didn't blame her for her rejection, but it had made being in New York increasingly painful. It had eventually hit him that he'd never be able to shake off the sadness if he stayed, which wouldn't be fair for the daughter he'd be taking care of. His mother had suggested maybe moving to the suburbs or to another state, but it wouldn't have been enough. He needed distance – as much distance between them as there could be, and so he'd decided to go back to the UK. He'd also reasoned that he'd need a lot of help in the first few years with Lottie, and he had no one around in America to support him, while he had his mother back home.
The decision had been, then, easy enough: he'd remain in America until Lottie's British passport came in the mail and his and C.C's divorce was finalised, and he would then fly back to London, hopefully to start a new life as a father while simultaneously trying to forget what could have been. America hurt too much for him to even consider raising his child there…
He'd never imagined that the moment he became a father would be such a painful time in his life, but while he did regret the circumstances of Lottie's birth, he simply couldn't be happier to finally be holding his daughter.
His Lottie, who was so small in her big, warm blanket!
"She eez very like you," Marie gave him a nudge and a smile.
Niles tried to smile back, but found he couldn't entirely. He was overjoyed to be a father and for someone to say she looked like him, but...all the features he saw in the little one's face belonged to C.C..
"Eet eez zhe eyez," Marie said, looking down at the new born child. "She 'az your eyez..."
And indeed, the little child had a pair of the brightest sky-blue eyes, a trait she had inherited from her father, who in turn had gotten it from Marie. There was, of course, another little person in that hospital that had eyes the same shade of blue: Amelia. Charlotte's twin, like Charlotte herself, had her father's eyes.
And said mother, who was holding her to her chest and letting her eat in peace (she'd breastfed Charlotte moments ago, before Marie took her away), was painfully aware of this. She thought about the irony of the whole situation. She'd spent the past months actively avoiding seeing or speaking to that bastard, and yet she'd given birth to and found herself with two little replicas!
Well, one replica. The other was going with the man she found it even painful to think about. Part of her had wanted to ask Marie how he was doing, but she'd squashed it down before it saw the light of day. He'd been a part of her life and now he wasn't – it was as simple as that.
She kept telling herself that over and over to help it sink in. And probably to convince herself that she was right, but she wasn't going to examine that path too quickly.
"Well, sweetie," she addressed her daughter. The only little one she'd been able to keep. "I guess it's just you and me from now on..."
Amelia was obviously too young to respond. But eventually she'd grow, and she'd learn. She'd walk and run. She'd laugh and shout. She'd live the happy life C.C. had made sure would also be provided for Charlotte.
But her father would remain an absent figure for the foreseeable future. She was already dreading the moment when Amelia asked about him (because she had no doubt it was going to happen, it was just a question of when). They'd agreed with Niles not to reveal much about one another while the children were young, but when Amelia and Charlotte turned eighteen, they'd be free to contact them, if they wanted to. The idea didn't exactly sit well with C.C. because she knew that any potential reunion would inevitably bring a slew of uncomfortable questions and difficult conversations with it. Questions she wasn't sure she'd ever be able to answer. But well, that was a worry for the distant future. She supposed she would have to figure it out as she went. She always did…
She had enough on her plate as it was: she was a single mother, she'd be starting a new job at her father's company soon, and she still had to deal with her future divorce and relinquishment of Lottie's custody. She had to focus on her baby and their new life together, and that meant resting as much as she could before the two of them left for their home and real life as a parent began. So, once Mia had finished eating, C.C. gently rocked her to sleep and then had one of the nurses settle her down in her bassinet. She would have done it herself, but her c-section still hurt like hell if she tried to do anything else apart from lie in bed like a useless lump.
Her doctor had told her to take it easy and not be too hard on herself, but frankly the man had no idea who he was talking to. She had a feeling it wouldn't be the last time she'd hear that either, with Nanny Fine having offered to come and help her for the first few weeks after Amelia's birth. The new Mrs Sheffield, just like Maxwell, had been surprisingly supportive of C.C. when they'd found out about what had happened. There had been some bitching about her quitting from Maxwell's side, but she had to give him credit, he'd eventually let it go.
C.C. had been so certain they'd want nothing to do with her and would choose Niles over her, but they'd surprised her. Maxwell, with being thoughtful for once in his life, and Fran by offering genuine friendship. Well, it was more like Nanny Fine had shoved her friendship down C.C.'s throat, but she'd grown on the former producer. Now that she wasn't competing with her for Maxwell's attention, C.C. had come to appreciate just how nice she really was (although she'd never admit to it). They'd also bonded over their pregnancies – Fran was expecting twins too. She was about three months behind C.C..
Neither of them had touched the spiky subject of Niles. The Sheffields knew better than to push certain buttons, something that was greatly appreciated by C.C.. They were well aware of what had happened between them – Niles had spoken to Maxwell after he'd first found out about C.C.'s pregnancy and had subsequently quit and moved out of the mansion once they'd reached their agreement (he was renting a nice three bedroom apartment in SoHo, according to Marie, and he planned on staying there until their divorce, when he'd go back to England). C.C. knew the Sheffields still kept in contact with him, but they were kind enough not to mention him when C.C. was around.
Her father and brother would be arriving the following morning, too. Both to meet Amelia and drive both mother and daughter safely home. Their new home, at that. While her apartment was spacious enough for her and the baby, C.C. hadn't wanted to raise Mia there – too many bad memories lived there, hidden in every nook and cranny, for them to ever have a chance at a happy life if they stayed there. A new house for a new life, that had been C.C.'s motto, and after months of looking and countless visits to different properties on sale, she'd finally bought herself a massive townhouse a few blocks away from the Sheffield mansion about two months ago. The Sheffields had been a great help: Fran had helped her pick the house and had gone with her to all the house showings, Maxwell had overseen the movers, and the children (as well as Marie) had helped her put everything in order and prepare the baby's nursery.
Life was changing fast, and while the pain of everything that had happened between her and Niles was still an ever-present throb in C.C.'s heart, she had a lot to look forward to.
She kept that thought in mind as she herself settled down to take a well deserved nap, all while trying to ignore the thought of her other child and Niles creeping into her aching heart.