Hey everyone! I was recently reading Snape's Worst Memory, in Harry Potter and The Order of the Phoenix, and decided to make something of James and Lilly's relationship, so here we are. Enjoy!

Underneath the anger was a layer of unimaginable hurt. My first, magically talented friend, Severus, had called me 'mudblood'. The most hateful, most insulting word a muggle-born could be ever called. I knew he learned things from his new friends. He says it's just a laugh but I know better. They are a bad influence, and him calling me a mudblood proved it. If it were anyone else who called me mudblood, it wouldn't be as hurtful, as it was then, when Severus called me it.

James Potter-the blasted handsome idiot- had been bullying Severus again. I tried to help Severus, but his words were-"I don't need help from a mudblood like her." I had turned coolly on my heel, throwing an insult behind me. Called him his horrible nickname given to him by Potter, 'Snivellus', and then strode to the castle. Straight to the Gryffindor dorms, fell on my bed and sobbed, and sobbed.

After a good half an hour of wallowing in self pity, I decided it was time to pull myself together. Severus is an idiot, and he didn't deserve my tears. I hopped into the shower, and turned the water a scalding temperature of hot water, and despite my best efforts did a little more self pity. Nothing I tried was working. Every thought I had led me back to thinking about Severus. Then tears that, despite my best efforts leaked out of my eyes.

As a last ditch attempt I went for a walk. The grounds were crowded, but I found a nice-quite large- glen with tall trees, opposite the Whomping Willow, on the right hand side of the castle, which I deemed a nice place to walk.

While I was walking I found a tree with a hollow at the trunk. Perfect to curl up there. Curious. I had to try curling up in it. I walked over to it, and curled up there. Exhaustion, from probably both tears and emotions fell over me like a blanket. I closed my eyes, telling myself it would only be for a moment, before I fell into a deep sleep.

"Lilly?" I woke up to a voice filled with incredulity. Drat I must have been asleep longer than I told myself I would be. Not bothering to answer the voice, I sat up, and wiped my deep red hair out of my eyes. Then looked at the owner of the voice. Double drat, it's stinking James Potter.

I jumped up, but staggered from a head rush. Potter strode toward me and steadied me.

"I don't need your help" I snarl yanking my arm from his steadying grip, with a force that makes me topple over, onto my bottom.

I have to say, for the pratt he is, he is quite good looking. And from here on the ground I have a lovely view of him, and I notice it more than I care to admit. With his untidy hair, glasses, and gorgeous hazel eyes. He is mouth wateringly handsome. If he deflated his head a bit, he would be irresistible. For he really is a rather nice person-sometimes. But unfortunately his head is inflated, rather than the opposite-shame. I am well aware he fancies me, but I always do my best to not let his handsomeness get to me. Try my best.

Despite my best efforts, I must admit, I have a small infatuation on James Potter. But he needn't know that. Hence why I snarled at him.

"Lilly," James sighs, his free hand jumped to muss up his hair. "Please just let me help you up. Why does he have to be so handsome and charming?

"I can get up by myself thank you." I said as I got up carefully as to not stagger again.

"Lilly…." said James hesitantly. "Am very sorry about today." His sincerity was more than a little bit shocking.

It took me a moment to collect my wits before I answered. "My ire is not directed at you James." He smiles slightly when I say his name. "It is at that back-stabbing idiot I once called my best friend." I noticed after that I probably should not have mentioned my ire to Severus to- of all people- James Potter. Seeming as they are enemies. But, what's done is done. And boy did he look happy about it.

But he said anyway-after wiping the smile off his face, and clearing his throat-"I'm sorry Lilly, that can't have been easy," his face darkened "especially after what he called you."

I sigh "I know." Oddly Potter seemed actually sorry, that Severus called me mudblood. I started walking towards the castle, James beside me. When we reached there, I started left, towards the common room, but James for whatever reason Potter goes right.

"James," I said a smile on my lips, "your really not so bad."

James' grin was quite large and he said, "exactly what I have been trying to convince you Lilly." A with that said, he turned, and with a smile on his lips he walked down the hallway, whistling a jaunty tune.

As I walked up to the Gryffindor common room, I contemplated how much of an idiot I would be, if I actually let my crush on James turn into something bigger. But seeing who was waiting outside the Gryffindor common room wiped all contemplation from my mind. All the pain and anger from before came back as I stared into the eyes of Severus Snape. I let the anger override the hurt.

"I'm sorry."

"Don't waste your breath." Was my reply, through gritted teeth no less.

"Lilly, I'm so so sorry, I didn't mean it." That comment made me fall off the handle.

"Yeah," I said knowing sparks were shooting from my eyes. "But if I were someone else, you would mean it. And that's what's horrible Severus, you may not mean it to me,but you would mean it to someone else, and what does that say about you?

"Think about it Sev, what kind of person do you want to be? But for now, our friendship is over, you've chosen your path, and I've chosen mine."

With that I said the password to The Fat Lady, and strode into the common room without looking back.

Well there you have it my friends, don't forget to leave a comment, and stay tuned for chapter 2!

Until next time,

-Lyla R