Diclaimer: This fanfiction contains graphic depictions of death, especially in later chapters. It contains death of any and all kinds. Please proceed with caution.

"What happens after I die?"

That was the question he heard most often. Dead people were still curious, creatures. Asking questions even though they were in the process of finding out the answers for themselves anyway.

Natsu never did understand humans, how could he? He was one of the things they feared most. Death. Plain and simple. It was his job to go to anyone who was about to die and help them move on. He was there is all their darkest moments.

Over the years he had seen it all. He had seen the elderly, welcoming him with open arms. Ready for the next adventure. He had seen the strongest of men crying, begging him not to take them. To give them another chance. They rarely ever took responsibility for wasting the first one. Always blaming others for their failures. It was always somebody else's fault that they ended up the way they did. It was always some how his fault that they died too, as if he personally brought about their demise.

The hardest ones to take were the children. The ones who had never even had a real chance. Not that it was the children themselves that ever made it hard, no, it was the crying of the parents that made it hard. They often screamed and clutched their child's body, as though if they held on tight enough they could force there own life into their child's body. Or if they screamed loud enough, someone would hear them and bring their child back. Those were the ones he wished he could give second chances to.

He had tried it once before. For a little baby girl who was born still. It was during his first year of existing. He was a rookie, he didn't know all the rules or why they were there. He just wanted to do something good. He didn't understand that death was not meant to be good or bad, it was meant to be neutral... he was meant to be neutral. He didn't exist to make decisions, merely to help humans pass on so they didn't stay where they didn't belong.

He was not alive so he had no right to meddle with those who were. He was not born. Death was not born. It was brought to existence by supply and demand. A rise in population meant a rise in the death toll. A rise in the death toll meant more work. More work meant more personifications of death came to be. They were not alive. He was not alive. He didn't grow up, he came into existence the way he was now and the way he would be forever.

His first year was the hardest, apparently it always is. He felt evil as he took people away from the lives they once lived and the families who loved them. Love? What must that feel like? He often wondered.

Still, he remembered the only second chance he had ever given. He remembered looking at the baby in his arms, a little girl who seemed to radiate light and how in that moment he couldn't help the clench he felt in his heart. The clench of regret, of feeling as though you have to do something no matter how badly you didn't want to. He looked at her mother who screamed and begged the doctors to help, to do anything they could. She begged god to take her instead.

Natsu stood next to the hospital bed of a crying mother, holding the soul of a baby in his arms for the very first time. She was so tiny, he couldn't help the wave of affection that washed over him. He was warned that babies were cute but he wasn't expecting them to look so fragile. Or for him to feel an urge to protect the helpless little thing. He lingered longer than he should have but he couldn't help it, she looked so peaceful as she looked at him without any fear. Just curiosity and innocence. She wrapped her hand around his finger, the first time anyone had touched him with any sort of affection. Did he really have to take her?

He knew he did. It didn't make it any easier. Her mother was sobbing uncontrollably, begging for somebody to help her. He turned his back to walk away with the baby in his arms, turning around one last time to look at her mother. He wasn't expecting to be so effected by what she did.

As she cried she looked straight at him. He knew she was looking through him but still. Just because she couldn't see him, doesn't change that he was there. That she was looking at him, crying, begging for help. Screaming "Please give my baby back to me. Somebody please bring her back."

He took one last look at the soul he was holding before placing her gently into her mothers arms. Into the body she would live in. He used his own magic to bind the soul to the body once more.

"Live a long and fulfilling life little one."

The baby let out a scream and the mother cried tears of joy, thanking god for giving her child back. God had nothing to do with it. It was the mercy of death that returned her daughter to her. Nobody ever thanked death for a miracle. It was the disease, never the cure.

He was punished harshly for what he did. Forced to take all the child deaths he could manage for the next 5 years until he finally became numb to it. Numb to the tears and pleas of the grieving. Numb to the confused looks from the children who didn't understand.

Still, he couldn't bring himself to regret what he had done. He didn't know why, but the fact that there was a person in this world still alive because of him, gave him comfort. She would live her life never knowing that he even exist... but she would live, and that was enough.

If he couldn't live, maybe she could on behalf of him. Maybe that was why he kept an eye on her from time to time. Watching from afar. Never going to close but always slightly in the background.

He knew one day she would die, again. When that time came he would have to take her. Maybe she would greet him like a friend when that time came. Perhaps he could tell her about what he had done for her. Or maybe it would be someone else to take her and he would never get to speak to her. He wasn't sure.

Still as time went on the pain in his chest never really went away. He envied the living. The simple things they took for granted. Things like the feeling of a breeze as it kissed your skin, or the warmth of an embrace. He didn't know what either of those things felt like yet he longed for them.

He had seen so many people crying over the loss of a loved one and he envied them too. What would it feel like to cry? Or to be loved?

He looked around as he felt a familiar feeling. His body dissolving. It always meant the same thing when this happened. Somebody was dying, soon he would appear in front of them and watch them take there final breaths. During those breaths their name would appear on his list, one letter at a time.

"Well another day, another death." He spoke knowing that nobody could hear him.

Still as he took one last look at the young girl he had been watching through he window as she played; the girl he had spared all that time ago. She looked directly back at him with a look of confusion across her face. It had to be a coincidence, she couldn't possibly see him. She must have been looking through him.

Although he couldn't be completely certain, he could have sworn she raised her hand in a little wave right before he vanished. The small gesture causing her name to fall from his lips.

"Lucy."

"Hello Natsu. How are you feeling today?" Natsu turned to see his boss looking expectantly at him. He stood from his seat on the edge of a skyscraper. He often liked sitting and watching the city below him. He had no reason to be scarred of falling, so it was peaceful for him.

"Hey Gajeel. The usual I guess." If he were being honest he would have said he felt empty. Hollow and lacking in substance. If he done that he would just lecture him.

"You know, it's polite when somebody asks you how you are feeling to then return the question?" Ahhh he was always so serious. It grated on him.

"Okay, how are you?" He knew he sounded sarcastic. He just couldn't help it. He spoke fluently in sarcasm and he enjoyed it that way.

"You really are an insufferable jerk. I actually have a question for ya." Gajeel towered over Natsu with his arms across his chest. His long black hair pulled back into a pony tail.

Natsu wondered how this bloke managed to do his job at all. How any of the humans he guided didn't try to run for the hills the moment they seen him. He didn't exactly have a warm or kind look about him. Although he didn't even know what he looked like himself, since he didn't even have a reflection.

"Yeah, what?" Better to hear his question and get rid of him.

"You've been going to see her again haven't you?"

Natsu stiffened. How did he find out about that?

"What if I was?" Natsu clenched his fist at his sides. It was nobody's business but his, what he chose to do with his free time.

"You know that's a bad idea. Human lives are fragile and fleeting. You shouldn't get yourself so attached to one." Natsu was surprised to see that Gajeel didn't look mad or mocking. Just concerned.

"Yeah I know that. I am not attached at all okay? I just like seeing what she does with the life I gave her. I got in a shit tone of trouble for that. The least she should do is make the most of it." Natsu turned his back on his boss and looked back toward the city below them. The people walking and going about their day.

"Just be careful. You're not exactly smart. You need to know that all actions have consequences, even ours. I would hate for you to lean it the hard way."

"Yeah, yeah. I've heard it all before okay? I know I did a stupid thing but I was younger then. It's not like this job comes with a rule book or anything." He shrugged his shoulders and put his hands behind his head.

"It does come with a rule book. You just never bothered to read it... idiot." Natsu turned to see Gajeel shaking his head at him.

"Whatever. I have been doing this for over fifteen years now. I've only had one major fuck up in that time. Let it go."

Before his boss could respond Natsu jumped from the top of the building toward the pavement below. He had done so many times before.

What has never lived can never die after all.

"Hey. Don't be afraid. My name is Natsu and I am here to help you." He spoke in as soothing a tone as he could manage. He had said things thousands upon thousands of times before.

The middle aged woman just ignored him in favour of staring at her own body, on the floor surrounded by blood. Murdered by her own husband.

"I loved that man. Why would he do this?"

Because he was sleeping with another woman and thought you would find out and ruin his reputation. Natsu knew better than to tell her the truth. Why hurt her more?

"I don't know. Sometimes people create questions that even they don't fully know the answer to."

The woman started crying. Still looking at her own mangled form. Her husband was in the shower washing her blood off of him.

"Where are you going to take me?"

"Away. Somewhere better than here. Where you can heal and forget the pain of this world." Natsu reached his hand toward the woman. She didn't take it. The brutal deaths rarely ever did on the first try.

"Can you kill him? Make him feel the pain I felt?" The woman looked at him with pleading eyes. Tears still staining her cheeks.

"No. I can not interfere with matters of the human world. I can only guide you to where you are meant to go."

"What will my son do when he finds out?"

"He will grieve for you. Then he will move on with his life just as he is meant to."

Natsu was use to telling these comforting lies. Better to be told a comforting lie rather then a brutal truth. The truth was he didn't know. He didn't know what would happen. All he knew was that this woman's name was on his list, so he had to take her to the veil to pass onto the afterlife.

What was beyond it? Well he didn't know that either. He had never passed through it and he never would.

"Does it hurt?"

"No. It's peaceful, like dreaming." Natsu had never personally had a dream before. He didn't sleep, so he didn't dream.

"Okay. I am ready."

Natsu took the woman's hand and walked toward the light, as he had many times before. He walked with her silently until they reached a blue wall that radiated light and what looked like stardust. He had always thought it was beautiful.

"This is where I leave you. You must go the through on your own." He let go of her hand.

"Alone?" The woman looked scared, a normal reaction to the unknown.

"Death has no place in the afterlife. It is a place of beauty and peace. My place is in the world, helping others on their journey."

With that the woman passed through the wall. She looked simular to someone sinking into water and the light faded around him until he was standing in the house again, looking at the husband trying to scrub his wife's blood out of the carpet. He didn't know what happened to her body, he didn't really want to either.

He clenched his fist at his sides as he felt the familiar burn of anger.

"You piece of shit! You had a wife who loved you! Who cared about you enough to give you a son. A family! How dare you do this!"

The man couldn't hear him. He just continued scrubbing the floor.

"You don't even realize how lucky you were! You had love!"

Natsu reached out his arm to punch the man, it passed straight through him. He had done this before, he knew he couldn't actually hit a human. Still, he sometimes wished he could.

He couldn't help but look forward to the day that man's name appeared on his list.

"I hate people like you." He spat. Right before he disappeared.

He knew it was a bad idea, sitting outside her window again and watching her read. It was probably creepy too, but he didn't care. He wasn't even alive, what did it matter if he observed someone's life? Besides, watching her always seemed to make him feel better.

She was a teenager now. A beautiful one at that. Her blond hair cascaded down her back and her brown eyes reminded him of chestnuts. She seemed happy, as she turned the pages of whatever she was reading.

Sometimes he wished he was human. He wished he could feel excited about little things like reading a book or seeing a movie. He longed to know what it felt like to be cared about. To care for another in return. To care about anything at all. What would it feel like to be held in another's warm embrace?

That was what separated him most from the souls he collected. They took it all for granted, while he would never know what it all felt like.

It was the real reason he watched her, to live vicariously through her. She owed her life to him, the least she could do was let him spectate. Even if it filled him with a longing that could never be sated.

This was his existence. Nothing more and nothing less.

Natsu stood awkwardly in corner of the hospital room. Watching a quite intimate moment between a father and his daughter. He felt like he was intruding, as he looked down at the half written name on his list.

As someone's death started looking more and more certain, more letters would appear. It was only when the name was spelled out completely that the death became set in stone. So he just had to wait.

"Dad, I want you to know that I love you. You were my best friend in the whole world. Don't forget that okay?".

"I know princess. I love you too. I am always going to watch over you. No matter what I will always be here." The man in the bed responded weakly.

Both of them were crying. The girl was holding her dads hand in both of hers. The melancholy in the room was thick enough to choke on. Truthfully Natsu was terribly bored. He had seen this scene play like a bad movie at least a thousand times. He could guess what they were going to say almost word for word.

He groaned to himself. "Just die already and get it over with, I have nowhere to be and that's still a more tempting offer then this."

Sometimes these things could take days. It bored him to no end but he still couldn't leave. If he left he might not be able to find them again, and a soul left uncollected could only ever cause trouble.

"Will you say hi to mumma for me?"

Natsu rolled his eyes. How original.

"News flash, he might not even see her where he is going." Natsu spoke aloud knowing that nobody could hear him.

He hated these moments. They dragged on and on and when they finally ended it was a pain in the arse to get the parent to finally leave. They always wanted to stay and watch over their child. It was always hard to tell them what a bad idea that was. So if they didn't go where they were meant to their soul would just fester. Trapped somewhere it didn't belong until it destroyed itself and turned into something dark and awful.

It was a pain in his arse. Plain and simple.

People walked passed him, sparing him not even a sideways glance. Not that they could see him or anything. The park was more quiet than usual, but the scenery was nice and sometimes something interesting would happen. Like someone falling into a pond or falling over while skateboarding. It was the little things to existence that really added to his day.

It was a lovely and peaceful day off for him. Well earned if he did say so himself. Even death needed to have a life, not that his would ever be much to brag about.

"Ahhh what the hell do you want?" He groaned as a fellow personification popped out in front of him. His worst enemy. Gray.

"I came to tell you to keep an eye of your list. I know it's your day of but there is a person due to die soon. Someone who only you can take." The dark haired idiot crossed his arms with a smug expression that made Natsu want to jump off a building.

"Why am I the only one who can do it? You slacking off or some shit?" He felt annoyed. He done enough work, he didn't need to take on anyone else's.

"No. Remember the girl you gave back? It was years ago but surely even somebody as thick headed as you would remember?"

No. He couldn't be taking about Lucy? Surely she wasn't going to die already. She hadn't even reached adulthood yet.

"Well her mother is sick" -Natsu allowed himself a small sigh of relief -" and it is your job to collect her. She is only dying because of the debt after all."

"What do you mean debt?" Natsu asked, crossing his arms and glaring at his rival. He didn't have any debt to pay.

"Wow, you really didn't read the instruction book did you? I shouldn't be surprised. You're probably to stupid to read. Anyway. When someone is due to die, somebody had to die. You saved that girl so in her place somebody else needed to die. Her mother has been kept alive through a mixture of science, money and machines. Her time is up, the debt needs to be paid. A soul needs to pass on in place of that girls and it's her mother who is paying the price. She did say to take her instead right?"

The smug look on Gray's face made Natsu want to punch him. Stupid Gray and his stupid rules. The idiot acted so high and mighty, ugly fucker he was.

"So she is only dying because I gave her daughter back?"

"Yep. All actions have consequences. It's about time you learned that. Maybe you might see the child you saved, while you take her mother away from her."

Natsu reached out to strangle Gray, only to be met with air. That smug, annoying arsehole!

He could feel himself dissolving and before he knew it, he was standing inside the house he had seen so many times from the outside. He looked down at his list to see a name, fully written.

"Layla Heartfilia"

The room was large and lavish, but that wasn't what caught his eye. It was the soul, standing next to the bed in the centre of the room. Standing and watching on as he daughter cried over her corpse. The girl he saved, now left without her mother. Left alone to cry over a body. An empty vessel.

The ache in Natsu's chest grew and he felt as though he had a lump in his throat that he could never swallow. He had thought that the emotions of others couldn't effect him anymore. This was different though. He had a direct part in this and he knew being here, was part of his punishment. To show him why some rules should not be broken.

This was the fallout of his actions. The consequences of mercy and the reason why death must always stay neutral in matters of the human world. The restoration of balance and the tilting of the scales. If a life is spared, another life must be taken. Nothing can be saved without something of equal or more value being sacrificed.

What is the true price of a human soul?

Thankyou to anyone who took the time to read this and I really hope you enjoyed it! Please let me know what you think!

Lots of love and well wishes to all of you!