I suck at writing
It was just a brief nap in the middle of the classroom but when I awaken, it felt like the longest dream I'd ever had A dream that was fun, suffering, and painful
Subaru [Was this all a dream me getting summoned to another world]
I tried to remember what had happened in it, but nothing coming to me. Eventually, I gave up on it and changed into my regular shoes at shoe lockers inside the school entrance. Outside of the gate, the dry, chilly autumn breeze rustled my spiky hair. I shifted my book bag to my left shoulder, stuck my hands downcast. Up ahead, students from the same school were chatting and laughing.
Subaru [being shut-in is way better than being at school]
I stuck my earbuds from my audio player in to shut out sounds of their hopes, dreams, love, and friendship while I headed home. At the convenience store on my way home, I stopped to check out this week's latest manga
Subaru [So this is how they suck you in ah-]
I walked out the automatic doors of the store, imagining a blissful post-cash world where everything could happen A world where I could fall in lov-
Subaru [Emi...]
What I saw was not a path leading to my home, it was a path leading me to an unfamiliar broken-down house.
After looking at my surroundings, I examined myself. The blue school uniform I'd been wearing was gone, replaced by my familiar tracksuit
Subaru [where am I...?]
I wondered but no one around answered. I shrug and began to walk into the house. In less than a minute my memory began to prickle The feels of this place then the sensation of this house this was the place where I fought Elsa and died
Subaru [I need to save her before Elsa kills her]
I rushed into the house knowing I might die But it was already too late
Subaru [Em..ilia]
Her lifeless body was laying on the ground cut open
Subaru [I'm sick of this. I'm tired of suffering and nobody remembering]
I curled up on the cold floor, covered my ears, and squeezed my eyes shut. but memories kept flooding back, like frigid water pooling up around me, enveloping me. One year stuck in another world battling the witch cult, even losing my memories to gluttony.
Subaru [I don't want to remember. I don't want to know what comes next]
But despite my prayers, the current of memories pushed me onwards. meeting Emilia for the first time becoming beako contractor even fighting with rem to defeat the white whale.
With every step, I took she was right there smiling and laughing with me about the future
Subaru [Aaaaaaaaaaaah!]
It was me. My powerlessness, my foolishness, my weakness it's my fault her memories were erased I should've been one erased not her. Blood was spilled that did not need to be spilled. Life was lost that was not meant to end. I should have been one who was erased. I can just redo all of this over and over again why she was not. Our roles could have been reversed and everything would have continued as it was meant to
Subaru [Aaaah...Aaaah]
I screamed and writhed and rolled and try using invisible providence to crush my heart but it didn't work
Subaru [Why...WHY DIDN'T IT WORK I WANT TO DIEEE]
I grabbed the collar of my tracksuit and ripped it with my hands.
Curled fingers like claws touched the center of my emaciated chest. The skin split and my flesh tore apart, but I felt no pain. With both hands, I ripped into my own chest. So that I could expose my heart, pull it out, and crush it. This was all I could do for her... The last act of atonement for those who I left to die for my selfishness
[Subaru]
Someone called my name. I stopped moving, looked around with empty eyes
Beyond the darkness, there was now a girl with beautiful silver hair and pointy ears standing alone. Her purple-blue eyes were wet and staring right at me
[Subaru]
A new voice arrived. To the right, a girl with butterfly eyes and drilled hair, her eyes were glowing with tears, too.
[natsuki-san]
He has the same type hair of the silver-haired girl. tears fell from his eyes too
The will and emotions of the three people standing here became a light that surged and flowed into me.
A warmth like a pillar of sunlight healed my wounds and melted away my sadness ...but.
but... oh, but, I could not possibly be worthy of receiving their absolution
Subaru [Im sorry] I heard myself say. [Im sorry Emilia-tan. Sorry, beako sorry otto. I can't stand it anymore. I can't fight. I'm sorry...]
And with the heart id pulled from my chest in my grasp, I prepared to crush it in one swift, decisive movement.
[Subaru]
Right before I crushed my own heart, a new voice called my name. A voice that was warm, powerful, and enveloping
[subaru]
ever so slowly, I raised my head to see. where endless darkness had been a moment ago, she was now standing on two solid legs.
Beautiful maid dress, blue hair that covers her right eye, and a gentle, subtle smile on her lips that light up the darkness
I lifted my hands away from my chest, which was now perfectly whole again extended them toward her, and stood up. I heard myself whisper his name through my trembling lips.
[...Rem.]
Once more
[youre awake rem]
The person who I loved with all my heart, just tinged her gentle smile with sadness and shook her head
Rem [This is all just a memory that lives inside you]
Subaru [Mem...ory...]
Rem [thats right Subaru-Kun a memory that will help you]
As rem started grinning happily again Emilia strode forward to join him
Emilia [Subaru we will always be connected to you through our hearts]
Beatrice walks forward on rems other side and nodded, causing her hair drills to wave
Beatrice [No matter how far apart we might no matter when the time comes for our part I suppose]
Then otto hopped forward next to her and said happily
Otto [Memories and feelings are connections that last for eternity isn't that right?]
Hot, clear liquid burst from my eyes at last. I took a step forward and gazed desperately into the eyes of my love
Subaru [Are you sure, Rem...? Can I really... move forward again?
Her answer was sifted and unwavering.
Rem [Yes you can my hero. many people are waiting for you to come... let's go. Together. To wherever this takes us.]
Two hands reach out from opposite directions and made contact. then Emilia, Beako, and Otto added their own. Instantly, the four into waves of pure-white light, flowing into me.
And then...
I suck at writing lol
cringe and dumb fanfic I've made here