Preface

I am

I am the coldness of the rocks

And the warmth of your arms

I am the violence of the waves

And the softness of the drizzle

I am the fury of the winds

And the kiss of the sun

I am the cell that holds me

And the overwhelming force that will set me free

-B (on pinterest)

Chapter 1

A fresh breath. She needed fresh breath, but she didn't bother to lift her arm and open the window. The room was mostly empty. An empty space for an empty life. Not a picture-perfect life, definitely not what Asuka had in mind. It was a place she filled with nothing, because she got rid of everything and it would be her own cage forever. It was a useless attempt to face what had become her hopeless opus.

Headstrong, she would pick her own death. Nothing had gone the way she thought it would. She hoped it was not yet time to face what had brought her so much darkness.

Ever since she had to give up her dream of competitive swimming, Asuka's room had become empty. Her head and heart were empty too, when they were not filled to the brim with the guilt and sadness of the mistakes she had done.

The doorbell rang once. It was still early. Asuka had class in just a couple hours. Maybe it was time to get up. The doorbell rang twice. She jumped off her bed. Her parents were not home at that time. The mailman smiled as he inspected the messy young girl and she thanked him for the package.

After she had put it on the kitchen counter, Asuka verified it was indeed a package for her. Just in time for her friend's birthday. She opened up a drawer and grabbed the first sharp knife she landed her eyes on. She cut the tape that enclosed the cardboard and opened its flaps to reveal a modest packaging. The outside of the smaller box disclosed a string of various coloured lights and the image of a device Asuka assumed to be the remote control. A wide and easy grin opened in her face. She would be able to offer Fuyumi her gift on her birthday after all. She recalledl how much the girl had been craving neon lights in her room for decoration. It fitted her aesthetic, in Asuka's opinion.

Her test ended later than she anticipated. She whispered to her friend that she had to pass by the volleyball gym before she left the class and promised to meet with the group in a matter of minutes. At that time, everyone would already be in the gym and left their phones in their club rooms. No one would pick up her call. And it was easier to head over the gym than to try and call every single member.

She sauntered the empty halls. The peace and quiet was joyful and in much contrast with what she was used to. Especially ever since she agreed to join the boys volleyball team as a manager. It had been a year already, but she never got over the noise.

"Kiyoko," Asuka whispered near the gym's open door.

The dazzling older girl glanced over her shoulder and Asuka signaled her to approach her in a discrete way.

"Do you need something, Asuka?"

"Sorry. Completely forgot to give anyone a heads up, but I need to bail practice today," Asuka pleaded. "It's my friend's birthday and Fuyumi wants to go to karaoke. Can you handle the boys by yourself?"

"So, not only are you late, you are bailing too." Daichi's severe voice emerged from behind Kiyoko.

Asuka sniffed as she thought of how to deal with the captain's bilious face.

"Just once?" Asuka's voice was higher than usual.

"It's okay." Kiyoko said. "I can deal with practice for today."

"Thank you, Kiyoko!" Asuka grinned.

However, Daichi crossed his arms,

"You're going to help us with spikes tomorrow, then."

"Setting the ball? Sure, no problem."

"Oh, no. You will be receiving."

"Ahn?" Asuka didn't know how to get away from it, but it was too late as Daichi was already headed inside.

"I'm sure he's just joking." Kiyoko smiled warmly.

"Right? Just joking… right?" Asuka laughed, but there was nervousness latent in her voice

Uncounciously, Asuka held her right arm protectively as she whirled to leave. Her friends awaited her.

"Go fish."

Asuka smirked with the new card in her hand. Calmly, she rested the cards on the table. The full deck of queens stared at her opponents that gawked.

"How come you are always so lucky?" Fuyumi wondered.

"Skill, my friends. It's pure skill." Asuka answered as she crossed her legs.

All eyes were set on her. Suspicion rose between them.

"You must be cheating."

"Nope."

As the song came to an end, Yukiko handed the microphone to Asuka.

"Want a turn?"

Asuka accepted the microphone and reached for the tablet on the table while the girls continued their game of cards. Asuka's winning streak was unbeatable to the group. She had been accused of cheating again and again, however, with nothing to back those accusations, they would go down the drain and be forgotten until Asuka held a deck of cards again. She had lost count of how many people had given up playing with her due the frustration of assured loss.

"Have you guys heard the rumours about the swimming club?" Nozomi questioned. "Anyone has a four?"

Asuka's eyes left the screen as she turned her attention to the girl. Those were words she hadn't heard in a long time.

"Go fish." Fuyumi replied. "What swimming club?"

"They are reopening the school's pool and are looking for new members."

"Oh, I heard about that. Apparently, the club members are cleaning and arranging the pool themselves."

"Isn't it too cold to swim outside?"

"I know right? Seems irrelevant to be opening the pool if they can't use it once they're done."

"But who are we to judge…"

The group laughed at the comment. Asuka was pensative. She wasn't even aware that Karasuno Highschool had a swimming pool at all. She wished she hadn't heard those words. However, curiosity struck her. She missed it. How she let the water wash over her. She could lose her feet. Lose the sense of time and see how far it would go.

She had always prefered the ocean, because it was mysterious. Full of secrets. And she never got hurt in the ocean. The pool, however, was another tale.

What was she even doing? She tried not to think about it all day. She kept on getting distracted by the thought of the swimming club grand reopening. Or whatever it was being advertised. She should be headed to the volleyball club gym, but her legs moved on their own. Even if she was bruised and hurt, she still wanted to see it for herself. Just a peek. No one had to know. Leaning on her pride was a natural thing for her.

She followed the directions Nozomi had given her earlier. It came to a surprise how she had been there so many times before and yet never noticed the empty swimming pool. How was that even possible she would never understand. The club room was familiar. Asuka sneaked beyond the worn out, compact building, towards the pool. She used the bushes that surrounded the bottom of the wire grid to hide herself from pry eyes. As she crawled behind the bushes, she would peek over the greenery in an attempt to spot members of this so-called swimming club. However, there was not a single soul. It disheartened her. Whoever was taking over the club, wasn't taking it seriously. They would work hard everyday if that were the case. She was ready to leave her hiding spot in the bushes and leave to help Kiyoko, however low muffled voices kept her from leaving her hiding spot.

The voices were present, however Asuka didn't make out one single word of what was being said. Even at that moment, there was not a single body in sight. She shuffled closer. She grabbed the grid and leaned her ear towards the cold wire. From the different tones of voice, Asuka assumed there were at least three people in the empty pool. One of the voices was louder, but the words were still muffled. She closed her eyes in an attempt to concentrate on the voices only. It was working, but not for the reason Asuka thought. Indeed, the words became clearer and louder. Like the wall between them disappeared. She suddenly understood the reason behind this at the same time that the voice was cut-off.

The world was big, but she thought she was bigger. However, the Miyagi Prefecture was small and re-encounters were bound to happen sooner or later.

Asuka opened her eyes to find a blond boy that stared right at her. The sleeves of his black uniform were rolled over his elbows and his face was dirty. His eyes were shining with delight.

Her body froze as she could only stare back at the boy with wide eyes and raised brows. She recognized him.

"Uhm, hello!" the boy waved at her.

Finally, Asuka let go of the grid and stepped back. He hadn't changed one bit. Surely, he was taller, but kept his average built and wavy blond hair. Just like she remembered. A voice called to the boy. The name was pronounced clearly. It penetrated her ears.

"Nagisa!"

The boy was distracted by it and Asuka took that chance to run away. She only came to a stop when the club room was completely out of sight as she whirled her head to peek over her shoulder. She kept pacing towards the volleyball gym. If he was there, Asuka wondered if it was possible that the others were too. Maybe the rest of the club were just random people. It was too much of a coincidence that they would all wound up at the same school after all those years. It was impossible. Or was it?

"You're telling me that you sneaked into the swimming club and got caught?" Tanaka repeated a simple version of Asuka's story.

Asuka remained seated on the wooden floor with defeat in her face. She sniffed and stared at her shoes. She didn't answer, but the bleakness in her face was enough for them.

"What a idiot." Tsukishima scoffed.

"What were you even doing there?"

"There were rumours... "

"And you went to check it out." Tanaka finished her sentence and Asuka nodded.

"Oi," Sugawara joined the conversation. "Big dummy." he poked into Asuka's head of blonde hair repeatedly with a blithe expression marked on his face. "It's not that big of deal."

"Actually, it's hilarious." Tsukishima added.

"They probably don't even remember your face by now." Sugawara continued to poke into her head.

That was the problem. Nagisa knows Asuka's face. He didn't recognize her, though. Maybe it was better that way.

"Stop doing that!" Asuka demanded as she gave the boy a side glance.

"It's for science!" he responded.

"How is that for science?"

"How many times can I poke Asuka until she tells me to stop."

Asuka forced her mouth to smile lightly. All Sugawara wanted was to cheer her up. Or at least, feel less gloomy. She was aware of that, even if it was through weird methods. And so, she tried her best to make the part, even if her chest were heavy.

Everyone had their reasons and ways. She admitted her way of doing things was not the best, but there was no other option, not for her. When the darkness blinds you, you lose sight of the best things around you.

Even if she looked different than four years ago, she wanted to believe her friends could still recognize her even if she had cut her hair and dyed it blonde. Asuka had to keep reminding herself that they were not friends anymore. She made sure of that.

A/N:

This is my early christmas gift for you, I'm sorry if it sucks. It was either this or the Tyrion Lannister gif saying "I'm the present!".

Jokes aside, I hinted this crossover on my profile. Although, I also reminded myself that I should re-watch 'Free!', since it's been a while and I didn't. Also, I'm struggling with remembering the sequence of events in 'Haikyuu!'. Am I going to re-watch the shows? Nobody has time for that. Will I write this entirely based on my very sucky and short term memory? Yes, yes I will. So forgive me if events seem out of order, because they probably are.

I created a new OC for this fic, it's my second one and I'm kind of pleased with her. It's completely different from Oriana in Dishonesty, literally the opposite. However, I know where this story is going and let me tell you, it's angst. WHAT ELSE IS NEW. But I think she has an interesting development and a kind of twisted one. Will it have a happy ending, you ask. Hahahaha. You a funny one.

Speaking of christmas. I'm in my early twenties and one of my closest friends gifted me an small Oikawa pillow that I absolutely adore and I kinda slept with it last night. I don't know if it's cringe or not. I'm still pondering, but I'm so in love with it that I'm feeling kind of inclined to write an Oikawa fanfic. What do you think of that?