Disclaimer: The only thing I own is an Amazon Prime Subscription

Summary: Lois follows Perry to Africa, and gains perspective on her relationship with Clark. Takes place after episode 1 of season 10


Title: No More Secrets

Lois stared at the cursor on the email compose screen. It was a month into her assignment in Kenya, and she knew she owed him a fuller explanation than the one sentence note. She just didn't know where to start. She was known to run from her life when things got tough, but with him she didn't want to. He was something special; someone she'd fight for, and with him. She wanted him to know that.

She started:

"Dear Clark,

I should have told you in person that I was leaving. Sending you a note like that was the coward's way out. I couldn't stand to be near you just then." She would've called him out on his behavior; life as the blur. She wanted to yell at him when she was stuck up on that wooden stand. "I know you're out there Smallville. The jig is up." It was at the tip of her tongue, along with 500 other lines that tasted bitter and angry in her mouth.

I'm not mad… That much was true. The anger faded with every mile she'd travelled from Smallville to be replaced by embarrassment. She was the ace the reporter, that never missed a detail. How could she be so blind in her own life. Although really… who could see the farm boy, bumbling reporter as Metropolis' great hero?

The little moments that came together. Times when he'd stammer over an excuse, and Chloe would bail him out. Moments she'd sit at a sidewalk café waiting for him, and feel a set of eyes on her from the shadows. The moment he'd called her as the blur, and she swore she could hear Clark's voice just for an instant. And then there was the kiss that night. It said I love you, and goodbye all it once, and was exactly the way Clark kissed her.

It's better we have this conversation in person. She wouldn't put his secrets in writing, and risk it being traced back to her. That was probably one of his reasons for staying silent in the first place, among others. She would ask him the other reasons when she got home.

At the end of the day you're the one I want to share my life with. How many things had she wanted to tell him since she'd arrived? Almost everything. The sound of the street music, the food. The people she met. He'd laugh at her as she struggled with the language, how she resorted to signs in order to make herself clear. And every time, she'd turn around expecting him to be standing beside her he wasn't. And she found herself disappointed at that.

I love you Smallville. She promised herself it would be the first thing she'd say to him when she saw him again. The images of that night played inside her head like a movie every night as she closed her eyes. She saw him flying through the air, heard her own voice yelling his name. It wasn't until he hit the ground that she realized he had the dagger stuck in his chest. How cold, and clammy his skin was. The overwhelming relief she felt when she felt his heart start again.

And regret as she watched him from the shadows. 'I should have stayed with you then,' she thought. But would he have told her then? Would he have let her help him with whatever he was doing? That impulse to keep her safe was what got them into this mess. At the same time it was also one of the things she loved about him.

We could start getting to know each other again. Why don't you tell me something about your day? And then when I write, I'll tell you something about mine.

Talk Later,

-Lois,

She allowed herself a quick proofread to make sure she hadn't spelled anything wrong. She hesitated on send button. "I love you," was it too strong? No. There is something between us. And I want to see what it could become. She hit send before the doubts could take over.


The email chime went as Clark finished a draft of his third article that day, and sent it to his editor. Recognizing Lois' address, he opened it.

Dear Clark,

I should have told you in person that I was leaving. Sending you a note like that was the coward's way out. I couldn't stand to be near you just then. He still had that note; kept it on the fridge at the farm, and forced himself to look at it every morning. It was the shock to the system he hadn't realized he needed.

I'm not mad… He smiled at that line. 'Oh you're mad', he thought. Lois expressed her anger in spurts of sarcasm that lasted for days. He expected he'd hear about it after she came back, probably off and on for the rest of their lives.

At the end of the day you're the one I want to share my life with. He felt the same. He'd lost count of how many times he'd shown up at a crime scene and looked for her. Or how many times he wanted to run a story angle by her, and realized she wasn't there. He should be frightened that he let someone get this close to him, but with Lois it was easy. He enjoyed laughing with her, and at her. On days when she was frustrated, or sad he'd do anything to see her smile.

It's better we have this conversation in person. She was right about that. Too many ways to misunderstand someone in writing. Besides, could he write something without it sounding like a clichéd excuse? 'I wanted to keep you safe'… 'I didn't want my enemies to use you as a weapon against me… he'd tried each of them on for months as their relationship grew serious, and they all sounded fake. The truth is, he was afraid she would look at him differently, laugh in his face. Afraid she'd leave him when he told her.

I love you. Saying it first, made her vulnerable, and he knew what a big deal it was. His last thoughts were of her as he fell from that roof; the missed kisses, and promise of their relationship. Although his consciousness had been on a different plane, he felt hands on his body, a relief when she'd pulled out the dagger. Shock, and relief numbed him to his surroundings; he barely felt the rain soaking his clothes, let alone thought to take in details. It was out-of-character for her to stay in the shadows. He expected her to bring the truth to him, and when she didn't he knew something was up.

We could start getting to know each other again. Why don't you tell me something about your day? And then when I write, I'll tell you something about mine. Getting reacquainted would help pass the time of her absence.

Talk later,

-Lois

Dear Lois,

He started with the easy stuff. I've got a lot of your stories now. That's right, the intern copyboy is covering the same stories the great Lois Lane had. I've been developing my own writing style, meeting my own sources. I think I've improved enough to give your red pen a rest. Three front pages so far. He thought he earned a bit of a brag. Plus there was the added benefit of the fact it would annoy her to think of him getting a solo front page byline.

He debated mentioning Chloe's disappearance, and decided that she'd want to know in case they turned up on that side of the world. Chloe is... missing. She traded herself for Oliver around the time you left. We don't know where they've taken her, so keep your eyes peeled. Searches of the city have turned up nothing. Oliver is beside himself; he says the last words to her were that he loved her. It was a surprise to find his two best friends had fallen so hard for each other. 'You don't take a casual girlfriend away for the weekend,' Clark thought.

It's going to take a lifetime of apologies to get past how stupid I was not to trust you. I may as well start now. I'm sorry I didn't tell you sooner. He heard a different side of her as The Blur; more compassionate, and loving. A yearning in her voice to part of something larger than herself. Something he could completely relate to; it was probably when he started falling for her in earnest. We will talk about it when you get home. That was a promise to them both.

"I love you," He didn't know when it happened, but Lois Lane had gotten under his skin, and he didn't want that to change.

Talk Later,

Clark


Lois' nerves hit her as the plane touched down at Metropolis airport. It was the first time she'd seen Clark in three months. They'd exchanged emails on a weekly basis after she finally summoned the courage to send the first one. Other than that first reference, they both ignored their conversation that was to come, instead focusing on their daily activities.

She pulled her carry-on out of the overhead, and joined the crowd heading for customs and the baggage area. She had time to wonder how he'd changed. If he was still as in love with her, as she was with him. She pulled her suitcases from the carousel and wheeled them through the doors to the arrivals' area. Sure enough; off to one side on his own he stood in front of a luggage cart with a single red rose.

She felt her smile grow as she joined him, settling two of her bags in the cart. He hefted the second. "Do you have a small child in here or something?" He joked. The quick smile that disappeared when he realized what he'd said. She sighed; a record five minutes since she landed without thinking about it.

They were quiet on the way back to Smallville. The Kent farm was the only place he knew they wouldn't be overheard. She'd have his room. He'd take the couch. He felt her eyes on him, and sensed her looking closer at him as he drove.

"I'm still the same man Lois," he said.

"I know," she answered; the first thing she'd said since they left the airport. The same man that brought me coffee every morning, and arranged romantic rooftop dinners. The same man that saved my life, and fell from 50 storeys up, then lived to tell the tale. She quashed the thoughts. He pulled into the laneway and stopped near the house.

"I've missed this place," she said. She didn't even know she had until she saw the house; a place where she could be safe, with people that loved her. She took her laptop bag from the backseat while he hefted both suitcases without breaking a sweat. She followed him up the stairs to the porch.

"Hello Shelby," he scratched between the dog's ears. She trotted off.

"I'll take your bags upstairs, and you can get the coffee going," he suggested. There was unspoken agreement t hat they would get the conversation over with before moving forward. She had the mugs, milk and sugar out before he got back. He'd changed his clothes too and somehow managed a youthful, world-weary appearance.

They sipped a few minutes taking in the peace; Lois taking breaths. 'I could get use to this,' she thought. Her mind wandered to what would it be like to spend her life here, with him. A couple of kids wandering into the kitchen. Being yelled at to help with chores. Did he need help with chores?

"I didn't feel worthy of you," she started. He looked up, at the sound of her voice. He was starting to think he'd have to start the conversation. "That's why I ran. For all those months he… she took a deep breath. "I mean you let me feel like I was a part of something bigger than myself. And it felt good… amazing really. It gave me purpose, made me feel like my work mattered. And when he… she corrected herself again. "I mean you stopped calling me I didn't know what to do with that."

Clark forced himself to look her in the eyes as she spoke. The sadness, and hurt in them were his punishment. His turn for a deep breath. "I'm sorry. You have to know that I'll spend the rest of my life saying that. I grew up with only Chloe and Pete as my friends. It wasn't until we were in high school that they found out about my abilities, both by accident. With both of them, I learned what a heavy burden it is to carry. Chloe has paid a price for that knowledge, and hasn't backed down from that friendship. Pete grew jealous, and we fought. We don't have much of a relationship anymore,"

'A secret with consequences,' Lois thought. "That must have been lonely," she remarked.

"It wasn't so bad. My parents never denied me the use of my powers. A little speed to get to school some mornings. X-raying the girls' locker room after football practice. Football itself was a rebellion; my father didn't want me to play. He was afraid I'd expose myself using my strength, and speed."

Lois used coffee to gather her nerve to ask the question. "Any girlfriends? Surely you must have told them…"

"Not since Lana,"

Lois mulled the answer over. She knew how angst-ridden, head-over-heels he was for Lana. The way he'd seek Lois out for advice on almost daily basis when she first moved onto the farm. "Do you still love her?" She wasn't sure she wanted to know the answer.

"No. She became a different person after the marriage with Lex; and we were never able to find our relationship again," he left it that. She knew there was a story there, but tabled the questions for another time. He took a slip of his coffee, and looked at the carafe on the table between them. "I'll get the next pot," he took it to the machine and waited while it filled.

Lois leaned against the counter within arm's length of him. He didn't touch her. "You're different now," she said. His eyebrows raised in question, which, she answered. "There's no wall between us anymore. No tension. It's just you, talking to me."

His smile that started while she spoke broke into a grin, and it was as the sun was shining at midday. It was hard not to return it. She felt like she was getting somewhere with him. The walls were down, and hadn't gone back up.

"I was afraid it wouldn't be. That you would yell… call me out for what a fool I've been. Break up with me for lying to you."

"All of which you would deserve," she agreed, an edge to her tone. She reached into the cupboard for cookies. "But, I want to see what's between us." she explained, and they re-took their seats at the table.

She was starting to understand the burden his secret carried; to keep yourself hidden from all but a few people. "Look Clark… I'm still easing myself into this. Seeing you today at the airport made it real. There is something between us, and I want to see where it goes." She laid her had flat on the table, and he followed suit. The first physical contact. "No more secrets," she said.

"No more secrets," he repeated. He raised her hand to his lips for a kiss.