Playlist: Yes I'm Changing by Tame Impala

Bella wasn't sure that being here was a good idea.

The summer before junior year was coming to a close, and every other student would be damned if they missed Tyler Crowley's back-to-school party. Like any other 17-year-old girl, it was hard not to worry about missing out.

Bella had other things to worry about, though.

While everyone else was busy back to school shopping, trying to save their summer flings or plotting their glow-ups, Bella Swan was leaving Saint Mary's Rehabilitation and Healing Center, her gold coin grasped tightly in her hands.

Leaving was bittersweet. On the one hand, it meant she had completed her 60 day program. It was the longest she had been sober since she was thirteen.

On the other hand, she would return to her regular life, her regular emotions-without the surveillance of doctors and nurses. Sober, Bella knew that she could no longer run from herself. The pills had always given her that- the sweetest escape.

But she had done and regretted so much. This time she wanted to be a better person.

So as soon as she had gotten into her Aunt Carmen's car, she knew things would be different.

And everything was different now. After the incident, Bella's mother had reached her limit. Renee refused to have a thief and liar under her roof -Not anymore, and especially not with 8 year old Alice around.

"Can't you fucking see that she looks up to you? She thinks everything you do is cool. What you did- what you've been doing to yourself? It's not cool!" Renee had choked out on her last visit, "It not cool."

Bella could see that her mother had reached her wits end; tired of having a fuck-up for a daughter. Aunt Carmen had assured Bella it was far more complex than that. Carmen knew that her sister couldn't live with the overwhelming guilt, the nagging feeling that she had failed her daughter. She felt like a bad mother and as long as Bella was like this, she couldn't run from the fact.

In the end, it had been agreed that Bella had to go. At least for a little while.

Now nearing the end of August, Bella had been living with her Aunt for about a month.

There were rules, of course, but Carmen didn't really hover.

She could empathize with Bella a bit, having been the wilder sister in her youth. It had never gotten as bad as Bella, but it was close. Now, she worked to give Bella the trust she needed to believe in herself. Besides, Bella had been very good this past month. If she wasn't dancing or visiting her mother, she was at home.

So when Bella had reluctantly asked Carmen about Tyler's party, Carmen had flicked her hands, insisting she go.

"I trust you. Trust yourself." She had said, her brown eyes sincere.

Bella wanted to try.

Bella's eyes darted around the dark room, taking in the smells and faces. Though Bella had lived in Port Angeles since she was 13 years old, her reappearance tonight had people staring at her like she was new. Some people waved or greeted her. Others stared and shared whispers.

I think she was at rehab this summer

percs, oxy…whatever she could find, bro

Without the dulling effects of the pills, she could feel herself becoming easily overwhelmed. How the fuck had she ever gone through life sober?

She felt her hand being squeezed softly, her eyes darting up. Rosalie stood in front of Bella now, her face one of concern as her blue eyes perused Bella's face.

"If this is too much," She started, shaking her head. "Just say the word. We're out."

Rosalie was sweet, the sweetest person Bella knew. Lanky, tall and blonde she was Bella's opposite in every way but nevertheless her closest friend.

Bella sighed. Looking up at Rosalie, she offered a small smile, meant to be reassuring.

"I'm good. It's just weird…being here now. Embarrassing? I don't know."

It wasn't the attention that bothered her. Bella didn't mind being the center of attention. She was a dancer, and confident in her skills. But nobody liked negative attention and though she knew several people in the room who had done far worse, she was the one who had been caught, all her shit aired out for everyone's entertainment.

"I get it. I totally get it. Fuck it, though. We came to get lit…soberly, in your case." Rosalie stated.

Bella laughed. Taking another deep breath, she worked to relax and enjoy the party.

Trust yourself, She thought

A small smile graced Bella's face. Grabbing Rosalie's other hand, she pulled her along as she made her way to the dancing crowd.

Fuck it.

"This is our song!" Rosalie yelled.

Bella laughed as they both began to lose themselves to the beat of Promiscuous Girl. Bella let it all go. She moved her body sensually, her hands caressing her shapely figure every so often.

For the first time in a long time, she felt good. She was in her element and everyone in attendance that night knew it.

Especially new boy Edward Cullen.

Bella knew it wouldn't be long before Emmet McCarty consumed Rosalie's every thought. As soon as he had squeezed by the dancing girls, a soft "Excuse me" leaving his mouth, Rosalie could think or speak of nothing else.

Bella found it cute and a bit comical. Rosalie was social enough, but really more on the quiet side. From the few interactions Bella had had with him, Emmet seemed to be the same way.

Pulling her off the dance floor, Bella led Rosalie into the almost empty kitchen towards the front of the house.

"You should dance with him." Bella said slyly, reaching into the fridge for a can a ginger-ale.

Rosalie got visibly pale.

"Easy for you to say! You can do that kind of shit, you're gorgeous! And can sexy dance…ugh"

Bella could feel herself getting irritated. She never liked hearing Rosalie tear herself down or compare herself- especially when none of it was true. Rosalie didn't like her tall and lanky frame or her pin straight blonde hair. She thought it was boring.

Bella knew that was bullshit. Rosalie was beautiful- inside and out.

"Are you being deadass right now? You're beautiful. Stop it." Bella admonished, waving her hands in Rosalie's general direction. "He had all the space in the world back there but he came and brushed up against your ass. He likes you."

Rosalie remained unsure.

"C'mon Rose."

Rose needed some liquid courage and looked at Bella apologetically before grabbing a bottle of Tito's vodka and slamming back what was left of the bottle.

"Ugh" she shuddered. Before she could recover, Bella grabbed her again as they made their way back to the dance-floor. Once there, Bella knew what she had to do. The unmistakeable sound of Kevin Lyttle's Turn Me On blared through the speakers in the room. It was perfect.

Though she was shorter, Bella positioned herself behind Rose, gripping her hips in an effort to guide their dancing. The music and alcohol made its way through Rosalie's head, and soon enough she settled into a steady rhythm.

Surveying the room, Bella found Emmett leaning against the arm of a couch. Catching his eye, she beckoned him forward with a jerk of her head. He looked around before turning back, his eyes questioning. Bella nodded her head in affirmation, her eyes widening as if to say, "Yes, you- who else?!"

Making his way over, Bella held her hand out to him. As soon as he grasped it, he found himself switching places with Bella, Rosalie's ass girding on him now.

Rosalie turned and squeaked, faltering a bit before regaining the rhythm she had found before.

Her mission accomplished, Bella smirked as she made her way to the back porch where she climbed onto the railing before lighting the joint she had stashed in her bra.

She wasn't technically supposed to do any drugs, but Bella felt that weed was more medicinal than anything and didn't really count.

At least, that's what she told herself.

As she inhaled the thick smoke, she couldn't help smiling, hoping her plan had set something in motion for her friend.

She wasn't surprised when she heard the back door open, knowing plenty of people used the back exit.

She was surprised to hear the deep voice that accompanied the person, as it wasn't one she had heard before.

"You in the mood to share?" The voice asked, his voice smooth and low.

Turning her head, Bella's eye's landed on a tall boy. She thought he looked well built under his grey hoodie and he had to be at least 6'2. His auburn-brown hair and dark green eyes were illuminated by the shitty porch light. Even then, he was clearly gorgeous.

Hoping she wasn't obvious in her perusal, she offered him a small smile before handing him the blunt.

"You caught me in a good mood."

Taking a hit, the boy held Bella's eyes before exhaling and smirking back at her.

"Lucky me."

"Mhmm," she hummed. "You're definitely new here. What's your name?" She asked.

"Yeah, Yeah, I am. Edward, you?" She liked the slight accent she heard

"Bella,"

"Cool. Nice to meet you," he chuckled.

"Same." She nodded, trying not to sound flirty. She was so not doing that this year.

"Who do you know here?" Bella asked, wondering how he'd even heard about the party. She was beginning to feel invasive but not enough to stop.

"Ah…" he started, "You know Jasper? Kind of blonde.." He tousled his own dark hair.

"Oh! Jasper's my good friend. We're on the High School's dance team together"

"He's my cousin." Edward smiled.

Bella nodded, not seeing any resemblance. Running out of questions- at least, the appropriate kind- The two remained on the porch, passing the blunt back and forth in comfortable silence at first. Eventually, they began small talk, learning small bits of information about one another. Every so often, she would feel the brush of his fingers, and couldn't help but steal glances out of the corner of her eye. She hoped that she seemed outwardly…chill. The bud helped but even that couldn't quell the occasional fluttering in her stomach.

"It's done" Edward murmured, flicking the clip over the porch.

Bella glanced at her phone's screen, seeing that it was nearly 3 am. She had one text from Rose, no doubt curious about her whereabouts. This confused Bella- shouldn't she be having a hot make-out session with him? It had only been about thirty minutes. Instead of answering, she hopped down and decided to find her. She turned to Edward, and just as she opened her mouth to say goodbye, he spoke.

"So…dance team, huh?" He asked, looking at her through his lashes as he leaned on the railing.

"Yeah. It's a great group, we're hoping to make nationals this time around."

"That makes sense." He said lightly, nodding his head. He looked like he had just confirmed a suspicion.

"Yeah, I mean we're trying to-"

"Nah" He interrupted, "I meant you being on a dance team. It makes sense."

Brows furrowed, Bella tilted her head in confusion.

"I saw you in there. You looked good." He said. "I mean, you were good. Good dancing." he hurried to clarify, ears turning red.

Bella smirked. He was too cute.

"Thanks." She giggled, hating that he made her do so.

Her giggles calmed Edward, causing him to chuckle along with her.

Too caught up in one another, the two were startled when Rose opened the back door with a loud bang.

"We have to leave. I'm lit. Like bad lit. I fucking threw up on Emmet's shirt! I can never fucking face him again…" Rose wailed, her breaths coming rapidly.

Throwing an apologetic look Edward's way, Bella walked over to a sniffling Rose.

"Ah shit, Ro. Don't cry."

At that, Rose cried harder. Her sobs were beginning to get loud.

"Let's go, c'mon." She said, putting her arms around her friend.

"I'll take you guys in my car." Edward offered, looking wearily at Rose.

Bella looked back at Rose who nodded her head vigorously in agreement. The girls had walked to the party, but Rose wasn't sure she could stop her sobbing. She didn't want to wake the nosy neighbors and have her late-night feelings reported back to her mother.

Looking back at Edward, Bella nodded.

—

After getting directions from Bella, Edward slowly pulled up to Aunt Carmen's home. Edward was both disappointed and relieved. On the drive there, Rose had gotten sick twice, both times into a Chinese takeout container and it really smelled.

On the other hand, he hadn't gotten enough time to talk to Bella. To look at her.

Once the car had come to a stop, everyone remained seated. Rose's sniffles could be heard as she leaned on Bella in the backseat.

Looking up, Bella caught Edward's eyes. Full of mirth and amusement, they took in the scene before them.

"Need help getting her in?" He asked, trying to suppress his smirk.

Before Bella could respond, Rosalie sat up; eyes halfway closed and spoke.

"I-" hiccup, "can do it. I got it."

Edward and Bella watched as she reached over and opened the car door. Stumbling, she quickly made her way up the gravel driveway and onto the porch. Edward and Bella laughed.

Again, the two sat silent; neither one wanting to leave the other's presence.

"Thank you. Seriously. I owe you one." Bella said, looking up at him.

Edward had his head down, scrolling through his phone. The light from the screen revealed the cute smirk Bella had come to really like appear on his face.

Suddenly, he turned in his seat, handing his phone over to Bella.

"Here. You should put your number in there…for whatever." He said quietly, his ears turning red again.

Bella looked at him, briefly wondering if this was a good idea. While at 's, she had promised herself she wouldn't get involved with a boy this year. In addition to her last…relationship being complicated, she didn't know if she could focus. Besides, almost everyone around her had agreed that it was best to hold off.

Not popping pills took a lot of effort and restraint. A boy, especially a boy like Edward Cullen, could only distract from that…right?

"Sorry, it's cool if you don't-" Edward began to fumble, embarrassed.

Bella grabbed his phone, almost yanking it out of his hands. She was being silly. They had just met, and he had hardly asked her for…anything really. He would be a good friend.

"No, sorry…I like, spaced out for a second." She explained.

Opening his contacts application, Bella plugged in her number. Where it asked for a contact name, Bella typed in a 'B' instead of her full name. She hesitated before putting an emoji next to the letter, hoping he thought it was cute or funny. Once satisfied, she handed the phone back.

Glancing at the screen, Edward laughed.

"I get it. Tango, dancing lady…cause you dance?"

Bella nodded, enjoying the sound of his laugh.

"What's my emoji?" He asked.

Taking her phone out of her pocket, she saw that he had already sent her text with his name. Wanting to match, Bella added his contact information, an 'E' in the place of his full name. After some thought, she added a star next to the letter. She turned the screen to show him.

"A star. Cause you were the star of the night." She said. He liked it.

Glancing back at Rose, who was now sleeping at a weird angle on the porch bench, Bella resolved to finally say goodbye. For real.

"Ok. I should go." She mumbled.

Edward nodded, shifting in his seat.

"Goodnight." Bella said; opening the car door and stepping out. She began walking up the pathway but stopped in her tracks. She didn't know why, but she felt compelled to say, "Text me when you're home safe. It's late and dark….um , yeah."

Edward tried to suppress another smile, failing miserably.

"I will. Night, Bella."

The car remained idle, waiting until both girls made their way fully inside before driving off.

Back inside, Bella worked on wiping Rose's makeup off. Next, she worked on the trail of crusted over vomit. Once that was done, Bella threw a blanket over Rose, kissing her forehead and pushing up on her knees to stand.

"You like him." Rosalie mumbled, her vomit breath permeating the small space between them.

Bella scoffed. "In, like, a friend way. I just met him"

"You lying liar who lieeeeeees."

"You're crazy" Bella laughed softly.

"And he likes you." Rose responded.

Bella knew that she couldn't get into this. She had so much to lose. She didn't want to stunt her progress or lose sight of her goals. She didn't want to like Edward Cullen.

Home, Edward texts.

Good, Bella responds.

She didn't want Rosalie to be right.

But Bella often found, that you can't always get what you want.

A/N: I've never written anything before but I've been watching HBO's Euphoria and felt inspired. It's not edited.

Is anyone out there? Thoughts? Bueller?