You think you're so clever. You thought you could hide it all. That no one would be any wiser and that you could go on living your life, pretending everything is fine when it wasn't. You had no idea someone was watching you.
Not just watching but researching. The deepest recesses of your mind were open for picking. Every thought. Every whisper you thought was lost in the wind. How can you close the door after getting to know someone so intimately?
No wonder she came back. She couldn't just let you keep living that lie. She somehow fell in love with you. Not in a romantic way, no, that's sick, but she really felt something towards you akin to love. That's why she came back for you. Pity.
You were so pathetic you made your tormentor return out of pity.
She was done ruining your life. She had her fill and she got what she came for but you? You were so sad, throwing those puppy eyes around, and hoping no one noticed you, that you made Satan herself feel sorry for you. And sorry she was when she returned and found the state of you.
You could have at least pretended to be a little composed. Not like she called ahead and made an appointment but still, you must imagine the shock and disappointment she must've faced when she came back and found you barely hanging on by a thread… a very fine one. You couldn't even get the noose right. How pathetic.
You were right you know… You should have been the one they threw away, not her. She was resilient and strong. You fell apart at the slightest provocation. How embarassing must it have been to see the prodigal child fucking up something as simple as their suicide. You've heard stories of children as young as 12 succeeding at it.
But not Spencer Hastings.
No, you're too dumb to even get that right. Talk about missed opportunities; Cece should have drowned YOU in the bathtub. Sit back in your rocking chair and wallow in that for a couple seconds. How much easier life would be without you in it.
You should be glad you're so pathetic. You should be glad she took some pity on you. You should be glad she stepped right in for you and sorted things out.
You're sure that Emily will never find out it was really Wren and Alison that were the parents of those babies, but you're sure it wouldn't matter anyhow. Once all this is over you'll be dust in the wind anyway. You wonder how soon you can purchase tickets to Iowa without setting alarm bells off.
It's so messed up you know? You're fitting a shackle on your best friend's leg while thinking of shopping for a wedding dress. Forget adding insult to injury, you're adding a third degree burn to that injury. Not bad enough she loses the love of her life, but having her be taken by the person she thought to be her best friend? That's magnificent.
It's a wonder you didn't sign onto the A team a long time ago. I never thought Emily finding her again after all those years was the kick you'd need. You'd think Toby's marriage would stiry something but no, nope, that ship had sailed a long time ago, huh? It wasn't the threat of losing Toby forever that got to you, it was the chance to be with her.
You put on a fantastic performance by the way. The stalwart and shocked best friend who's supporting Emily in whatever decision she makes. You really milked that act. You knew there was no contest in her heart; she wanted she. That's why you left those envelopes around, from Mary Drake. You knew the guilt would get to her heart.
The fear of missing out is stronger than love apparently.
So funny how she thanked you in the end, after all that was said and done. Thanking you for your help and support? How ridiculous. You had to really fight to restrain that bilious laughter, didn't you?
But who can blame you after all? You of all people would know just how much she deserved better. You've lived across from Emily for a decade now. There's been no shortage of instances where you've seen her bolt out of Emily's house in tears. You thought it'd be the older girl who'd end up breaking your best friend's heart, all those years ago.
Now you know it's the other way around. It was her that was too good for Em.
You can't believe it took you so long to figure that out.
Now you're sitting there caressing her hair, running your fingers up and down her arm as she sobs into your chest and a hint of that smirk of superiority appears on your lips. Deep down you don't regret any of it, do you?
You wipe the tears off her face before leaning in for a kiss.
You're shameless
You're disgusting
You're a fraud
But all you care about is the feel of her lips against your own and the hint of watermelon in her hair, and how her fingers wrapped around your arm, and pulled you closer to her and the way she held her breath in anticipation before you made your intentions known and how stupid Emily was to ever let this go… to ever let Paige go.
She was worth it. She was worth all of it. And if you had to, you know you'd do it all over again.