Notes: This is my attempt at a crack idea treated seriously. Takes place in the G1 cartoon universe.
Contains:
- MechPreg - Canon typical violence - Seekers as the ultimate babysitters - The grumpiest minibot -
Chapter 1
An absolute failure… that's what that was.
Their energy supply is low enough already, and they just went and wasted more only to watch a month's worth of energon cubes blow up due to a ricocheted pulse. Not a deliberate pulse with which every Decepticon knew who was to blame and then could properly direct their anger. Just some random pulse that could have been from any mech of either faction.
Now the Decepticons are all desperate, and all frustrated, and all tired.
Maybe Astrotrain's choice to nab one of the Autobots would have been a great way to release some of the pent up rage… kicking a mech till he offlines sounds all too tempting…. However, now they need the mini for negotiations.
They can't afford another raid, so Megatron intends to use their prisoner for all he's worth. Optimus is too soft sparked to pass up a trade for the safe return of one of his mechs.
Starscream quietly seethed in a corner as his gaze shifted between the limp minibot and Megatron, contemplating which would hold the lesser of consequences to shoot.
If he had more energy, he'd chance a shot at the gun-former. His death would leave the SIC as the new leader, and he could still trade the minibot in for energon. Unfortunately, right now his weapon wouldn't have enough to do more than singe Megatron's plating.
Killing the autobot would only get him on the bad side of every Decepticon and deprive everyone of the energy this mini is worth.
The seeker lets out an indignant huff.
A mistake, apparently.
"Quit your grumbling and make yourself useful, Starscream!" the warlord shouts and raises a fisted servo, probably also holding back the urge to seriously maim something.
The tension in the room is suddenly all on Megatron and his Second. A fight between the two is expected (judging by the looks of all other con's present) and it's tempting to give them the spectacle they're waiting for. A good distraction for the crew and the exchange of a good few punches for them.
Too bad the seeker knows he'll loose, so he remains in his corner, arms crossed yet…. that doesn't stop him from running his vocalizer.
"And what exactly would you have me do? Call up the Autobots to show just how desperate we are?! Are you too afraid to speak with them yourself-"
"As if I would ever trust you with negotiations." Megatron growls.
When the gunmetal grey mech begins to stalk forwards, Starscream suspects their argument is about to get a bit more physical (and he'd basically trapped himself in this corner without thinking). Scrap.
He lets his arms drop to a more defensive position.
Be it luck or a miracle, Megatron stops just short of their prisoner.
"We are not so foolish to rely solely on our enemies for fuel." He says pointing to the mini by his peed. "While the Autobots take their precious time to contact us, we should be planning ahead. I want a better scan of this mech's circuit to send to Shockwave."
The seeker is about to ask which circuit when he remembers the last time this mini was in their custody.
Soundwave had one of cassettes scan the Autobots a good while back. They didn't get much information (a basic scan on less than half of the Autobots) but they noticed a strange detail for a circuit belonging to Gears. The strange coding chip draws energy from his spark, not his energon. That's unheard of except in much older noncombatant models, since it could prove fatal during wartime (should he be heavily injured and/or low on fuel).
From this they had constructed a solar needle, the sun being the closest energy source near earth that held any similarities to a cybertronian spark. Too bad a beam from the earth to the sun is too obvious to avoid detection, and constructing the needle takes up a lot of resources and time.
Shockwave could probably come up with something a bit more practical-
"Like frag I'm going through that again!"
The thought to be unconscious minibot is trying to run for it (though it's more of a speedwalk with a limp). He only gets a few steps in before Megatron pins the mech down with his peed.
The Decepticon leader turns to level his Second with an expectant glare.
Great.
If Megatron thinks Starscream is going to handle a thrashing Autobot by himself (and not exploit his rank above the rest of the crew) he's a fool.
The seeker looks to the others present then says, "Thundercracker, grab him. We're going to medbay."
Medbay, where their best scanners are…. but also where Hook thinks he can boss the Second in Command around. Starscream hopes against all reason that Hook will be anywhere else, despite the fact many Decepticon troops had been injured in their recent raid and would require medical attention of some sort.
The blue seeker looked just as displeased, though that may have more to do with the minibot he's trying to get a proper hold of and not their destination. Luckily, Gears seems to be as spent as the Decepticons around him (Astrotrain had been none to gentle with his catch) and couldn't do much more than throw his little frame's weight around and complain.
And by Primus above and Unicron below, was this Autobot ever the expert in complaints.
"-Your servos feel like sandpaper! Haven't you cons heard of basic maintenance? This isn't how you treat a bot for ransom! You're going to scratch all my paint off and Optimus will offer you scrapheaps less energon! Prime will know if you remove my circuit! Let go, let go, LET GO! Don't drop me though. I have enough dents as it is-"
And on and on the Autobot went.
Starscream is suddenly glad to be heading for medbay, as he will enjoy removing Gears's circuit.
The medbay door slides open and most of the berths are empty, meaning Hook was working quickly today. Quick and crudely, no doubt. Only a second constructicon and a snoozing Blitswing remained.
Hook looked up from reattaching Scavenger's tail-shovel, yet Starscream ignored him in favor of directing his fellow seeker to pin the mini on an empty berth. The constructicon watched in mild interest as their prisoner nearly managed to land a kick on Thundercracker before being thoroughly immobilized.
"I've tossed your sorry aft once before, Screamer! I'll do it again!" the Autobot threatened, obviously trying to starve off panic with anger.
It's not successful, as the minibot renews his desperate struggles once Starscream begins to force open his chassis plating.
Ha. Someone having a worse day than them.
"I think you'll find following through with that threat difficult in a moment." The red and white seeker says with a smirk.
Whoever installed this circuit must have been a fool. Removing it is far too easy.
Starscream grabbed the circuit card and pulled…
Only half way out and the mini began to convulse, his whole frame hissed and his vocalizer spat static. The seeker panicked and shoved the circuit back, but the damage was done. Gears went limp and his optics flickered off.
Frag!
They need him for negotiations, and since the Autobots finally began taking precautions against their old clone trick, a decoy won't cut it this go around.
Megatron will be furious.
"Hook-!" Starscream begins, but the other mech seems to have caught on already.
His spark scanner is leveled to the mini's chassis and everyone (excluding the still recharging triple changer) wait in rapt silence for the device to beep.
It beeps once…. And then twice…. And again and again. Hook shakes the scanner as if that will right the faulty tool.
"I can't get a fixed reading." The green mech says after a second and third try.
Shoving the poor excuse of a medic away from the Autobot (despite the constructicon's protests) Starscream begins to ease open more and more seams until Gears's chassis is splayed open revealing a spark chamber. He only hesitates a nanoclick before prying that open as well.
He's met with instant relief as a bright spark shines back at him.
"By Primus..."
The red and white seeker turns to Thundercracker to raise a browridge in response to the comment. The other mech just points and his trine leader follows the gesture till he meets what's so interesting.
Below Gears's spark is a second one, only much smaller and flickering.
Suddenly the air around Starscream feels warm and heavy. The same awe he had seen in TC's optics fills him as well as the shame that he might have harmed the little one when he tried to remove the circuit. He closes the chamber as carefully and apologetically as he can manage, then continues to close up the minibot's chassis.
"That's not possible." Hook says, "Traditional carriers are extinct."
"Obviously that's as much of a myth as the extinction of femme frames." Thundercracker counters, trying to shift the Autobot into a more comfortable position on the berth.
"I'm going to reduce those Autobots to scrap metal." The red and white seeker hisses through ground denta, "How dare they put a carrier on the field?!"
He's shaking now, plating rattling as all the times he personally tried to offline Gears filled his processor. All failed attempts, of course, but he shouldn't have been there in the first place. How could the Autobots let this mech fight on the front lines?
"Hook. Thundercracker." Starscream says tensely, "No other mechs are allowed in here until I say otherwise, understood? I need to inform Megatron of this new development, before he bargains away a new generation's future for a few measly energon cubes."
The seeker levels the only other aware con in the room, Scavenger, a heavy glare. The constructicon gets the message and mimics the human gesture of zipping one's lips.
Good.
Where just minutes before the SIC had been tired, he could now care less as he marched ahead, purpose energizing each step.
Hook and the blue seeker watched him go before deciding the mini's health was more imperative than ever before.
Thundercracker helps the medic take proper readings of the two sparks and the rest of the Autobot's vitals while Scavenger watches giddily and Blitswing's engines rumble softly in the background.
Notes: Look at me. I'm writing to escape the reality that is 2020.